[Fanfic: Blackmail |
Title: Blackmail
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Donghae/Sungmin
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Rating: PG
Word Count: 777
Summary: Feelings are sometimes intangible, misinterpreted and manipulated into something much worse.
A/N: one-shot'd within 40minutes, I am somewhat pleased with it, given the length of time and my current state of mind. pointless angsty misunderstanding, typical. just trying to get back used to the wavelength of things. haemin makes me happy \o/
“Why are you blackmailing me?” Donghae shrieked, tears streaming down his face, and shoved his arms against Sungmin, knocking him back against the wall, “Why are you doing this to me, I don’t get you, I really don’t.”
“What are you talking about?” Sungmin hit the wall, head tossed back momentarily in surprise and a slight tinge of pain.
“Why do you just suddenly leave and come back again?” It sounded more like an accusation than a question, the statement crisp and Sungmin shuddered. “Why, tell me why, why do you do this?”
Sungmin turned his head away, looking out at the rain streaked window, droplets of water collecting and streaming down the transparent surface.
“I like you, I really like you,” Donghae crumpled to the floor, limbs angled, and poured everything out, “I can’t take it when you just leave and come back like nothing’s happened, like nothing happened between us.”
“I...” Sungmin had to admit he was relying on Kibum and Kangin much more often to pass time, especially since midterms were over and exams were all that remained. He never considered it as avoiding Donghae, avoiding them, but apparently it was to the other boy. “I never meant it like that.”
Because really, he didn’t, he wasn’t lying to Donghae. Surely, he occasionally ignored text messages, namely the good morning ones with a random smiley face, because he starts class much earlier than Donghae, therefore Donghae’s morning actually was his lunch and Sungmin didn’t see a point in returning them, and the rare phone call, because he was hanging out with Kibum in the library, and libraries and cell phones aren’t suppose to coexist.
“I’m sure you didn’t, Sungmin-sshi,” Donghae whimpered, barely audible because his voice was so thin and raspy.
“I didn’t mean to, whether you believe me or not.” Sungmin clenched his fists, angry at himself because he couldn’t articulate himself. Kibum was quiet, but he knew how to speak when he needed to, and Kangin was loud, almost too talkative, but he too could articulate himself very well. Sungmin was in the middle, his best asset out of the trio, but he certainly lacked the ability to express himself correctly, which probably faulted him the greatest out of his trio.
“Stop using my feelings to blackmail me, it hurts. If you don’t like me, just stop.” It sounded like Donghae was actually breaking, and Sungmin slowly sank down to the floor next to him. “Just stop doing this to me...”
Sungmin reached forward and took his chin, tilting his head up. Donghae’s eyes look empty and sad, vacant of anything tangible to happiness.
“You’re doing it again, you give me hope this one moment and then shatter it the next,” Donghae tore himself away from his hold, “did Kangin-sshi make a bet with you or something, so you can just play with me like this.”
“Hae...” Sungmin reached out and Donghae almost instinctively slapped his hand away, like a wounded animal cautious of unfamiliar external stimuli.
“Stop it, just stop.” Donghae sighed into his arms, eyes hiding in his sleeve and hair pushed up messily, “maybe Heechul hyung was right...”
“No, listen to me... “ Sungmin tugged him up forcefully, too much force for that matter, and Donghae literally tackled against him and they were against the wall. “I like, I like you, I really do.”
“He warned me, he warned me that you wouldn’t commit, you didn’t seem like the type who would be serious with these things,” Donghae continued vomiting everything out, purging his heart of the weariness. It didn’t seem like he had heard him that time. “I never listen to him and then he seems me like this, a-”
Sungmin kisses him, and at first Donghae struggles, tears continuing down his cheek and Sungmin held him still, nuzzling reassurance back into his figure, his heart, his soul. Donghae slowly recognizes what’s going on, his hands go from resentment to neutrality to acknowledgement, there’s less refusing and a breathy sigh escapes his lips.
Sungmin takes the hand from his neck, wedging his fingers in the cracks and brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, kissing the back of Donghae’s hand gently. They lock eyes again, Donghae almost straddling him and Sungmin pressed against the wall, and the vacant uncertainty earlier was vanquished.
“I swear, if you leave me again after that,” Donghae began before he leaned down, resting the side of his cheek against Sungmin’s collarbone, “I will never ever forgive you.”
“I don’t plan on leaving, ever. Not without you.” Their hands remained locked together, the rain continuing its droning echo against the apartment window.