(no subject)
Title: Save me (3/5)
Word count: 1039
disclaimer: All made up
Summary: The third part of my series based on the song "Save me" by Queen
feedback welcome
How I cried
the years of care and loyalty
were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
"I'll love you 'til I die”
It was a Friday just a normal Friday, the squad had a day off, a text came… “I need to see you I’m coming over Frank x” and true to his word, 5 minutes later Frank was outside his door. As soon as John opened it he could see something was wrong. His face was set, his eyes emotionless. No words. Frank stepped in hung up his coat and proceeded to the living room, John following cautiously behind.
“Lampsy? What’s wrong?” John asked, his voice scarred with worry.
Still no words.
“Lampsy?”
He looked up, stared John right in the eye, but still no words.
John stepped forward and took Frank’s hands in his own, gently caressing them with his thumb “Frank…tell me what’s up” Using his concerned captains voice. Frank looked away, unable to look at John, knowing what he was about to do.
“I can’t”
“You can’t what? Tell me? Why?”
“No, I can’t…I can’t do this… Us”
“You mean… we’re…we’re...”
“Yes. I think it’s best we go our separate ways” Frank couldn’t bear to look up and see the pain on his best friend and lover, well ex-lover’s face, couldn’t bear to see his beautiful hazel eyes swell and redden with tears.
“But why? Where has this come from?” John stuttered, hardly able to believe what he was hearing.
“I can’t continue like this, it’s too much I gotta stay loyal to my family and so do you. I mean what would happen if we got caught”
“But…but that hasn’t bothered you before and what about me… what about staying loyal to me…”
“JT, don’t …it’s for the best”
“For the best?! How do you know? So the last 5 years have meant nothing to you? What about all the good times? All the ‘I love you’s? All the times we’ve spent together all the fun we’ve had? You just want to throw them away? Delete them from your mind?”
“No course not, we can still be mates of course, we both gonna still be at training at matches etc we can still meet up, I still wanna be your mate, just nothing more.”
“We can still be friends? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?” John was in a state now tears were rolling down his distraught face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why had Frank suddenly decided this? Was it him, something he’d done? “Mates? After all we’ve been through, you think you can just delete our history, delete this moment too and carry on “like normal”? Why? Seriously Frankie, where has this come from? Whatever made you think this…we can work it out…together.”
Frank finally brought himself to look at his captain, seeing what he had done to him. He had reduced this great man, the captain of England, to a complete wreck, pleading with him. He didn’t want this to happen, but it was the only way.
“No… we can’t … I should go” And with that Frank stood up and left, not even bothering to get his coat.
John slid down the wall head in his hand and slumped on the floor. Why? Why? Why now? They were going so well, everything was perfect. “I love you” that’s what Frank had told him, time and time again “I’ll be with you forever” that was his promise, but now they were meaningless words said in delirium. They'd been so close for so long and now, now Frank had gone; John didn’t know what to think, what to do, for the first time in years he felt alone. “We can still be mates” yeah sure. I can forget our past, forget this excruciating pain you are causing me, forget the love and lust I feel, or felt, towards you and carry on like the world’s peachy.
Slumped against the wall, head in hands, sobbing. John thought about all the good times, all the times then gone to the pub together, or out for a night on the town. All the kisses and beds shared. Winning the premiership… twice, the FA cup the carling cup, the community shield. The kiss on the bus, feeding him champagne after the FA cup victory, the fact that whenever either of them scored, they always hugged each other tightest, first. Of course he had been a little over enthusiastic sometimes, obviously showing off their love and anyone looking at it could take it that they were more than just teamates. But they’d always had excuses, why was this worrying Frank now? What had suddenly made him want to end things when they’d always been going so well? He thought of all their precious memories together each smile, each hug, each kiss every one now hitting him like an arrow to the heart.
He was still in the same position when Toni came home with the kids. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t get him to move or talk. She hugged him, kissed him talked to him, but nothing worked, he completely ignored her, she had no idea what had happened to him. He didn’t move at all, not even when the twins tried to crawl into his lap trying to “make daddy smiley”. In the end Toni gave up and took the kids to bed and then went to bed herself, leaving John on his own in the darkness with his thoughts and memories.
He stayed like that until morning began to creep in through the windows. He rubbed his eyes and slowly stood up, he had stopped crying a couple of hours ago, but he hadn’t managed to sleep at all. Whenever he closed his eyes, he was plagued with memories of Frank, making him think that everything was still good between them. But as soon as he reopened his eyes, memories of the afternoons events came flooding back, drowning him once again in sorrow. He looked at the clock, it was too early for Toni or the kids to be awake. Silently John slipped out the front door, taking Frank's coat with him.
Word count: 1039
disclaimer: All made up
Summary: The third part of my series based on the song "Save me" by Queen
feedback welcome
How I cried
the years of care and loyalty
were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
"I'll love you 'til I die”
It was a Friday just a normal Friday, the squad had a day off, a text came… “I need to see you I’m coming over Frank x” and true to his word, 5 minutes later Frank was outside his door. As soon as John opened it he could see something was wrong. His face was set, his eyes emotionless. No words. Frank stepped in hung up his coat and proceeded to the living room, John following cautiously behind.
“Lampsy? What’s wrong?” John asked, his voice scarred with worry.
Still no words.
“Lampsy?”
He looked up, stared John right in the eye, but still no words.
John stepped forward and took Frank’s hands in his own, gently caressing them with his thumb “Frank…tell me what’s up” Using his concerned captains voice. Frank looked away, unable to look at John, knowing what he was about to do.
“I can’t”
“You can’t what? Tell me? Why?”
“No, I can’t…I can’t do this… Us”
“You mean… we’re…we’re...”
“Yes. I think it’s best we go our separate ways” Frank couldn’t bear to look up and see the pain on his best friend and lover, well ex-lover’s face, couldn’t bear to see his beautiful hazel eyes swell and redden with tears.
“But why? Where has this come from?” John stuttered, hardly able to believe what he was hearing.
“I can’t continue like this, it’s too much I gotta stay loyal to my family and so do you. I mean what would happen if we got caught”
“But…but that hasn’t bothered you before and what about me… what about staying loyal to me…”
“JT, don’t …it’s for the best”
“For the best?! How do you know? So the last 5 years have meant nothing to you? What about all the good times? All the ‘I love you’s? All the times we’ve spent together all the fun we’ve had? You just want to throw them away? Delete them from your mind?”
“No course not, we can still be mates of course, we both gonna still be at training at matches etc we can still meet up, I still wanna be your mate, just nothing more.”
“We can still be friends? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?” John was in a state now tears were rolling down his distraught face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why had Frank suddenly decided this? Was it him, something he’d done? “Mates? After all we’ve been through, you think you can just delete our history, delete this moment too and carry on “like normal”? Why? Seriously Frankie, where has this come from? Whatever made you think this…we can work it out…together.”
Frank finally brought himself to look at his captain, seeing what he had done to him. He had reduced this great man, the captain of England, to a complete wreck, pleading with him. He didn’t want this to happen, but it was the only way.
“No… we can’t … I should go” And with that Frank stood up and left, not even bothering to get his coat.
John slid down the wall head in his hand and slumped on the floor. Why? Why? Why now? They were going so well, everything was perfect. “I love you” that’s what Frank had told him, time and time again “I’ll be with you forever” that was his promise, but now they were meaningless words said in delirium. They'd been so close for so long and now, now Frank had gone; John didn’t know what to think, what to do, for the first time in years he felt alone. “We can still be mates” yeah sure. I can forget our past, forget this excruciating pain you are causing me, forget the love and lust I feel, or felt, towards you and carry on like the world’s peachy.
Slumped against the wall, head in hands, sobbing. John thought about all the good times, all the times then gone to the pub together, or out for a night on the town. All the kisses and beds shared. Winning the premiership… twice, the FA cup the carling cup, the community shield. The kiss on the bus, feeding him champagne after the FA cup victory, the fact that whenever either of them scored, they always hugged each other tightest, first. Of course he had been a little over enthusiastic sometimes, obviously showing off their love and anyone looking at it could take it that they were more than just teamates. But they’d always had excuses, why was this worrying Frank now? What had suddenly made him want to end things when they’d always been going so well? He thought of all their precious memories together each smile, each hug, each kiss every one now hitting him like an arrow to the heart.
He was still in the same position when Toni came home with the kids. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t get him to move or talk. She hugged him, kissed him talked to him, but nothing worked, he completely ignored her, she had no idea what had happened to him. He didn’t move at all, not even when the twins tried to crawl into his lap trying to “make daddy smiley”. In the end Toni gave up and took the kids to bed and then went to bed herself, leaving John on his own in the darkness with his thoughts and memories.
He stayed like that until morning began to creep in through the windows. He rubbed his eyes and slowly stood up, he had stopped crying a couple of hours ago, but he hadn’t managed to sleep at all. Whenever he closed his eyes, he was plagued with memories of Frank, making him think that everything was still good between them. But as soon as he reopened his eyes, memories of the afternoons events came flooding back, drowning him once again in sorrow. He looked at the clock, it was too early for Toni or the kids to be awake. Silently John slipped out the front door, taking Frank's coat with him.