Who Took the Ram From the Ramalamadingdong?

[danceliketoday]

Okay...here it goes.

This is my entry for the Two Line Challenge (it's kind of late but Word was being stupid and kept closing when I opened it) and before I send it in, I want your guys opinions because I don't want it to suck.

Comments

[energycurrency]

that was heartbreaking.

[danceliketoday]

Thanks...I think. XD

[energycurrency]

it was heartbreaking in a good way.
i really enjoyed reading it.
reminds me of myself somehow...

[pass_the_vics]

very powerful ... indeed, liked it a whole lot.
Him not committing to anything, her trying to get him to understand/listen, frustrating just as it should be.

[danceliketoday]

Thank you. I appreciate your opinion! :)

[midwinter]

"She's sitting on his piano bench and he's drinking a glass of god-knows-what. It's raining and both of them are staring at the floor; his shirt rumpled, her skirt a good inch higher then it should be."

"The rain becomes a rhythmic beat."

Those sentences rock, just to tell you. I love them.

I loved it. The bit about her looking down at her shoes was great.

The only thing I thought was a little awkward was "full of depression and sadness." But even that's okay, I'd just tweak it a little bit. :)

[danceliketoday]

Thanks!

I shall fix that part up a bit. Now that you mention it, it's kind of weird-ish.

[pptfstudent]

Great job. I'm speechless of the intensity of this story. Thanks for sharing!

[danceliketoday]

Why thank you! And you're quite welcome!

[lea724]

That was so beautiful. And it was my first House fanfic that I've ever read. You definitely hooked me in. :)

[danceliketoday]

I'm glad I could be of service!