Hello, I.m supposed to Roar! teehee. I don't quite know what they mean so I shall say - what a marvellous poem/tale/chant!!! The sort of thing I would be terrified of under my bedclothes when my Mummy put the landing light out! GROO was hiding somewhere!!! magical little scary. I don't know whether to like Groo or be scared in case he is coming this way!
Splendid! He sticks with you!! Did you find him in a folk tale, or is he 'yours'? Mine was called Sheila Gollabolla!! Thank, Blue.
I really like this concept of an incompetent anti-hero who tries to help people but whom everyone avoids like the plague. He rather reminds me of Rincewind from Discworld, actually. :) I also like the ambiguity in the first half, where we're not quite sure if Groo is evil or not.
I do have some concrit, though: 'its' should be 'it's' ("it is Groo").
then Groo cut him two. You forgot the 'in'. :)
Other than that, you've written a very funny children's rhyme, especially with the silly names like Groo and Innits.
dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pausesbardiphoukaMarch 18 2012, 19:25:21 UTC
Greetings and such. Let us see what we have.
First of all, I would suggest, when dealing with a very minor character such as Goo, that one put an author's note in.
run lest he cleave neck from body.
Actually it is the head and not the neck. The neck, long suffering as it is, mostly gets evenly divided. It is very seldom that at least a wee slip of neck does remain attached.
then Groo cut him two.. Should that be cut him IN two? And if not what two is he being cut?
I would also suggest breaking the poem into stanzas to emphasise changes. Things do tend to run on a bit, and it is a terrible shame because it is a very fun bit of verse altogether. Thank you for sharing.
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Splendid! He sticks with you!! Did you find him in a folk tale, or is he 'yours'? Mine was called Sheila Gollabolla!!
Thank, Blue.
p.s. small typo - blaim should be 'blame'.
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I do have some concrit, though: 'its' should be 'it's' ("it is Groo").
then Groo cut him two.
You forgot the 'in'. :)
Other than that, you've written a very funny children's rhyme, especially with the silly names like Groo and Innits.
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http://groo.com/
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First of all, I would suggest, when dealing with a very minor character such as Goo, that one put an author's note in.
run lest he cleave neck from body.
Actually it is the head and not the neck. The neck, long suffering as it is, mostly gets evenly divided. It is very seldom that at least a wee slip of neck does remain attached.
then Groo cut him two.. Should that be cut him IN two? And if not what two is he being cut?
I would also suggest breaking the poem into stanzas to emphasise changes. Things do tend to run on a bit, and it is a terrible shame because it is a very fun bit of verse altogether. Thank you for sharing.
Reply
I like how Groo started as a villain.
One small thing.
"He's a menace, I say." Your second quotation should be beside menace instead of say.
Will we be seeing more of Groo? d^_^b
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