Comments | danahid: FIC: Win and Jim (STXI, PG13, Part 3/4)

danahid

FIC: Win and Jim (STXI, PG13, Part 3/4)

Jan 22, 2010 03:51

Title: Win and Jim
Author: Danahid (danahid)
Beta: emluv
Fandom/Spoilers: STXI/Reboot
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Winona Kirk, Jim Kirk, brief Chris Pike cameo (Gen)
Wordcount: 2,148 (Part 3)
Disclaimer: Star Trek is owned by many people who are not me. No profit being made. No infringement intended.
Archive/Distribution: Please ask.
Date: January 22, ( Read more... )

fic stxi

Comments 8

emluv January 22 2010, 16:30:41 UTC

Pitch perfect. Really. This totally works. I love what's said and hinted at and not said at all. And Jim's behavior is so spot on--wanting his mother but not wanting her to be disappointed and knowing, really understanding that there's no way for both of them to get their way. His being adult enough to let her go but child enough to react eventually anyway. Bravo, sweetie. And somehow it's more amazing to me knowing this was the gap in the flow...

danahid January 22 2010, 21:10:09 UTC

Oh, I'm so glad you thought it worked! I kept going back to your thoughts and feedback while I was writing this section. I kept testing what I wass writing against what you has suggested and asked questions about.

Your feedback really has been so helpful, sweetie, you have no idea. It's helped me adjust and recalibrate every one of the sections of the story, and it was critically helpful in this section, where I went from scraps of prose and general, not-fully-thought-out ideas to a fully-fleshed out section that does bridge the gap in the story as I needed it to do.

THANK YOU so much again, for all your help and feedback and advice and encouragement. You are incredibly awesome!

::: hugs :::

garryowen January 24 2010, 00:27:34 UTC

The story really started to make sense in this section. I love how alike they are in their desire for the stars. And I love your backstory for why Jim drives the car off the cliff.

danahid January 24 2010, 14:30:38 UTC

When I first read your note, I worried that the story hadn't made sense before now... but I think I understand what you meant now.

One of the core ideas of this story (it's even in the summary, I think) was that "Jim is a lot like his mother, except when he's not), and I'm thrilled that's coming across in this section.

Re: the car off the cliff -- I figure that everyone needs to tackle this rationalization at some point in their STXI fic-writing "career," and this was my version. Things said and unsaid, people talking or being quiet were an important image/motif in the story for me, so this:

everything Jim isn't talking about gets the better of him, and he drives his dead father's car into the Riverside Quarry partly out of frustration and boredom, but mostly in protest.

was the result of tying all my disparate threads together.

I'm so glad it worked for you!

eustacia_vye28 January 27 2010, 17:45:11 UTC

I just noticed the chapters today, and I'm devouring them as I eat lunch today.

Maybe at some point I'll come up with a coherent and thoughtful feedback. For right now, all I have is that everyone is coming across as real, whole people. They're flawed and broken, and sometimes things just jump out and evoke such a visceral reaction. I can absolutely see this as Jim's backstory.

danahid January 27 2010, 21:40:34 UTC

Thank you so so much for taking the time to read and leave feedback. This story was intensely personal to me, something I *had* to write, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're reading it.

I'm delighted that you think everyone is coming across as real, whole people. That was something I desperately wanted to do. People are complicated, and too often, people ignore just how complicated...

I'm honoured that you can see this as Jim's backstory. I would like it to be. :-)

Thank you again for your lovely comment!!

darstellen February 6 2010, 13:23:56 UTC

This hit a nerve with me--I'm crying.

The change in form to a fragmentary chronicle brilliantly showcases periods of darkness and blackout versus rare moments of open secrets (Winona's open eyes, her bringing her secretism to the table) in alternation; a theme with variations.

danahid February 9 2010, 13:05:45 UTC

I am so so glad that you thought the change in form worked! I struggled with this section for so long, and it wasn't until I realized that I needed to break from the previous narrative that this section came together. Jim is literally shaken by what happens in this section, and I wanted to find a way to represent that...

I'm sorry that it made you cry, though!

::: hugs you :::