[In loopy, cartoonish handwriting.]

[simplemechanics]

When things are uncertain, that's when you most need a glimpse into the future! Is there a bright and happy homecoming ahead, or only more gray? You don't know, but I might!

So how about it, care to have your fortune told? It's my job, after all. Don't be shy! You're not alone, 'cause everyone has a question they're dying to know the answer to! Just don't blame me if it isn't what you wanted to hear.