Day 28: Bus 2

[misterprince]

The group hadn't made it to the Twin Pines before the nurses started ushering them back to the buses. Sanji didn't believe the small sack dinner he was handed would make up for the meal they would have had at the restaurant, and aside from that he'd still wanted to check the place out. Now he had no way of comparing it to what they served at the

Comments

[i_slay_giants]

Jack took his food and took the nearest seat, nodding to the occupant and acknowleding his existence. What very odd eyebrows he had, Jack mused. No sense staring, though. He'd probably get plenty of opportunities to try and decipher the reasoning behind their appearence if his seatmate was talkative. If not, well, he'd get to eat in peace.

"Sandwiches, huh?" He said sarcastically and smirked at Sanji. "They're really feedin' us well today, aren't they?

[i_slay_giants]

"Can you even imagine it?" Jack smirked. "Or better yet, can you even imagine what she'd be capable of in bed?"

That's what Jack needed to find- a rich, voluptuous ninja-pirate chick with a willingness to serve him. Too bad he didn't even know where to begin looking.

[misterprince]

[Dude, wtf... I said Navy. 4Kids version, I should be shot. DX I meant Marines. MARINES. Pretend I said the right thing!]

The look that crossed Sanji's face hid nothing about the types of perverted images that were then crossing his mind. He gave an even more goofish chuckle, staring off at nothing.

Then he caught himself, regaining his former more serious expression almost immediately as he cleared his throat. "My crew's already got a couple voluptuous women on board, though. They may not be ninja pirates but they've got their own talents."

The fact that he'd never been allowed to get intimate with either didn't need to be mentioned.

[i_slay_giants]

"'Talents', huh?" The Fable grinned,"I bet they do."

Whether or not Sanji caught the innuendo was no concern of his. It appeared as though the conversation was heading down the "who has bedded more/better women" path and Jack wasn't going to let this stranger off without extolling him as to the women he'd been intimate with.

"You got a crew?" He mused, but caught himself. "Ah, right. Pirate."

[misterprince]

"Shit, yeah, talents." Of course, the talents that Sanji was thinking of and the ones Jack was probably thinking of didn't match up. After all, there were no other women in the world that could sprout arms, legs, or whatnot from any surface in large multiples. Oh the dreams he'd had about that little ability...

"And yes, pirate," the chef nodded. "So yes, I have a crew." Some of the most wanted on all seas, though there was only eight of them. He held out on mentioning that over half of them were currently at the asylum - one of which was one of the women he'd mentioned. He didn't trust this man as far as he could throw him, even if they had at least one similar interest.

[i_slay_giants]

Jack glanced about the bus before leaning in closer and speaking in a hushed tone. "Have ya ever been with a goddess?" Technically Lumi wasn't a goddess; However, Jack had fancied himself a god when he had 'borrowed' her powers, so there was no reason for her NOT to be referred to as a goddess. It wasn't as if Sanji had ever been with her and could contradict him anyhow. "How about a princess?"

It was a bit sad, if Jack stopped to think about it, that he'd been in the beds of so many women, but hadn't ever found a relationship that LASTED. This was why he didn't ever really stop to think.

[misterprince]

Sanji couldn't help but flush and glower. It really depended on Jack's definition of goddess, didn't it? Obviously he didn't mean a real goddess... Well, no, scratch that. It didn't matter about his definition because Sanji had never been with anyone he could really consider a goddess. Not sexually, anyway. Actually, he'd never been with anyone. But he wasn't going to say that...

What about Vivi? She was a princess. He'd never been with her, but he'd traveled with her, and... he'd kinda seen her in the bath? A little bit. Sorta. "S-sure, I've been with a princess before. What, have you?"

Bragger.

[i_slay_giants]

Jack noticed a waver in Sanji's voice, but knew he couldn't chalk it off to lying-- at least, not without knowing the guy a bit more. Perhaps he was just shy about it, or maybe it had been his first time and it had ended awkwardly. Jack could sympathize with that; sex was always awkward in the beginning. Hell, lots of his one night stands STILL ended awkwardly and he had been boning women for centuries!

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, pal," Jack lied, though not about the subject at hand. "I've been with a queen too, which is the next step up from princess."

So what if the 'queen' he mentioned was the same person as the 'goddess' he had hinted at moments before? Point was, he'd been with her more than once. And it wasn't like she was the only women he had ever been with. She was just one of the few amongst the long list of farmers' daughters, mundy tramps, and generally willing pretty faces along the years. Hey, for what it was worth, he'd even banged GOLDILOCKS a fair number of times, though at this point, everyone and

[misterprince]

"Not something of a man-whore are you?" Sanji grinned at him through tightly gritted teeth. "A real man wouldn't have to brag about who he's been with."

Not that the chef would have minded being something of a man-whore when it all came down to it. He could definitely deal with multiple women. AT least, he suspected he could.

[i_slay_giants]

"That would be a fun job, wouldn't it?" Jack stroked his chin. "I've got the body for it, at least. But I don't think I'm that desparate." Yet.

As for Sanji's second comment, Jack scoffed and sized the other up. Clearly he hadn't spent alot of time hanging out with "the boys" in a bar or club. It was ALL real men did. But if the chef didn't think so... "Who's gloating, bub? Gloating would involve numbers and regaling. Though I suppose we have a bit of a bus ride ahead of us, so if you want to go that route..."

[misterprince]

Sanji did not want to go that route. Any further along that route and his inexperience would show. That, or he'd have to start lying Usopp style. Though that wasn't looking like too bad of an option at the moment. What would he say? They call me the God of Sex where I come from. Women come by the dozens, no, hundreds just to beg for a night with me.

Yeah. No.

"I don't want to hear about your sex life," Sanji sneered. "A disgusting old man like you? It's like thinking about my parents." Who had been dead since he was a child and remembering their faces at all could be difficult, but that didn't matter. He just needed to turn this conversation around.

[i_slay_giants]

Jack nearly choked on his sandwich. A 'disgusting old man'?! Jack was old, sure (older than anyone here, he reckoned), but there was something to Sanji's tone that made it seem as if the pirate was implying he was covered in wrinkles and balding. Swallowing down the food in his mouth, he turned to his seatmate coldly and said simply, "You care to repeat that, kid?"

[misterprince]

Having gotten a rile out of the other blond, Sanji allowed himself to smirk. He leaned a bit more towards Jack, speaking slowly and over-enunciating just to push things further. "I said I don't want to hear about the sex life of a disgusting... old... man... like you."

For someone who had just been bragging about having done things while the chef had been in diapers, he was sure insensitive about his age. Would he even be willing to start a fight here on the bus? The staff wouldn't have any difficulty getting to them, with as many as there were.

[i_slay_giants]

Jack gritted his teeth but refused to strike the other--not yet, not unless he crossed the line (which he was, admittedly, close to crossing). "Yeah, sure," he said, pretending to shrug it off and went back to his sandwich. "Anyhow, since you asked, I'll start by telling you about this one chick I met outside the tavern this one winter when I was wandering about the countryside. She had this annoying laugh, but jugs the size of Wisconsin. So we're drinking this ale--it's some strong shit. They don't brew ale like that anymore, which is a shame because it was always a nice thing to swallow down after a hard day. She drops something, I dunno, whatever it was she was holding and bends over to get it..."

Or had Sanji said he didn't want to hear? It was a known fact that the elderly lost their hearing, so Jack decided he must have missed that part of Sanji's request.

[misterprince]

Sanji rolled his eyes as Jack went on with a story anyway, obviously just in an attempt to tick the chef off further. He didn't have any clue what the man was referring to when he mentioned "Wisconsin," but the idea still got across. It was already sounding like a rather rude way to go about picking up women.

Though, Sanji couldn't say he hadn't attempted to hit on women while they were intoxicated either, but Jack's methods were simply cruder. Really.

"Well I suppose you would have to go for the drunk ones," he interrupted. "As nobody sober would sleep with your ugly mug."

[i_slay_giants]

"You're funny, buddy," Jack smiled widely, combating his anger with an overdramatic show of friendliness. "A laugh a minute."

How could anyone find him ugly? He didn't need to get them drunk to score. Most of the time, anyhow. Plenty of sober women were constantly wooed by him and remarked on how he was sex incarnate when he wasn't trapped in this hellhole. Men wished they could be him; women wished they could have hair like him. Point being, Jack was a sexy beast and he knew it.

HA! So who was this mundy to make him question his own appeal? HE WAS JACK HORNER, Jack of the tales, Jack the hero of every goddamn story he was in, who always got his woman and was adored by everyone! This loser was obviously jealous of him. Jack would set him straight. "You're one to talk, anyhow. What's up with your eyebrows?"