Masthairpiece Theare presents...The Forelock Saga
Good evening and welcome to Masthairpiece Theatre. Tonight, our critics-at-large (some larger than others)
adlervan and
15lbpurebunny turn their eye and their comb to some classic moments in Damian Lewis hair follicle history. Highs, highlights, lows and blow-outs - we've got them all for you.
And so, for you, gentle viewer:
Adlervan: Evocative of Steve McQueen, perhaps?
15PPB: Perhaps, but the striking parallel lines of the railing and shadows to my mind reflect better the modern world, a world perhaps McQueen wouldn't have fully been comfortable with, with today's tendencies to fetishize the man-hair.
Adlervan: Did you just say "fetishize"? That's a three-dollar word, there!
Adlervan: Notice how the hair is pointed upward, as if on a quest to seek a higher level of hair product spirituality. It's "The Rapture" meets "Hard Candy", I feel.
15PPB: Yeah, I just wanna lick it...like it's hard, red candy. Tasty.
Adlervan: Quite pensive hair, and a bit of a defeated feel, don't you think? Very Ingmar Bergman.
15PPB: I feel the hair loses a bit of its emotional urgency when portrayed only in black and white, though. Still, this hair obviously has a strong emotional undercurrent which climaxes in a quite phallic and virile looking sideburn.
Adlervan: Also, a closer look reveals a side parting where the hair may have been separated from a conjoined evil twin. Very "Dead Ringers" meets...meets....
15PPB: "Persona".
Adlervan: Exactly.
15PPB: Reminiscent of Tin-Tin here, wouldn't you say?
Adlervan: You mean the tv dog??
15PPB: I'm not sure about you, Adlervan, but the peak at the top makes me think of Africa and goat's milk.
Adlervan: Yes, I was just about to say, "African Queen"!
15PPB: This hair is really miscast in this role. I know people love this hair in this role, but I'm going to go against the grain and say I'd have liked to have seen any of the afore-mentioned hair in this production instead.
Adlervan: Agreed, the hair is out of its element here - zigging when it should be zagging. It's as though it's doing interpretive dance while all the other players here are doing the waltz.
Adlervan: Feel good hair of the summer!
15PPB: Run, don't walk, to this hair!
Adlervan: By the way, just some back story here - but just before this photo was taken, the hair had an awkward run in with Ben Stiller's hair from "There's Something About Mary."
15PPB: Really? Well, all I know is that I want to run my recently "hair-gel"-covered hand through this hair. In the worst way.
Adlervan: Thumbs down.
15PPB: What?? No - it's a wonderful, spare, and well-executed throwback to original Badass Hair. It's "The Wild One" hair! The only thing separating this hair from Marlon Brando is a bike and slightly askew hat. Brando himself would be proud.
Adlervan: But still dead.
Adlervan: Much Ado About Hair!
15PPB: This lovely production really hit its stride when Benedick's hair reveals its true potential to Beatrice's hair. (And I might add - too bad about Beatrice's hair….flipped out hot mess from hell, really.)
Adlervan: But this? Lovely.
Adlervan: Oh, god, I'm having flashbacks to "Wall Street"!
15PPB: It's Gordon Gecko's evil bastard son. And not in a good way. This particular hair takes method styling too far and neglects to provide any level of artistic or aesthetic generosity to its fellow player, the forehead…who, let's face it, desperately needs support here.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Thumbs way down.
15PPB: A fresh and wonderfully idiosyncratic take on the stereotypical redhead.
Adlervan: Yes, we see this hair come on screen and we know we're in for a wild ride.
15PPB: Did you just say "come on a wild ride?"
Adlervan: The slight dishevelment reminds one of "Falling Down" - it tells us that the most ordinary and buttoned-up of men can quite easily turn into the Id, that animal inside us all.
15PPB: Did you just say that he's an "animal inside us"?
Adlervan: Stop that!
15PPB: Scary, scary shitweasel hair.
Adlervan: And that's just what they used to call you at school!
15PPB: Oh, good times. Back to the hair. Now, seeing as how the hair is so neat and un-tousled, I'm going to have to say this is Alien Hair, here. Or, possibly Malcom McDowell's hair, since I'm pretty sure, judging by the accent the hair had in this film, the alien hair was played by McDowell. This hair really gets into the duality of its role in this production. Impressive.
Adlervan: Pretty hair, want to touch...
15PPB: This hair really moved me. There's so much yearning and agony in this hair, so much love and emotion, just under the surface of the pomade. If I were the dark brown wig sitting next to this red, slicked down Victorian hair, I'd gently wash out the layers of product, revealing the tender, almost virginal strands underneath, until all that hair's passion could be exposed to the world in its full glory.
Adlervan: The hair speaks to the repressed passion of the age, for sure. We can just FEEL a curl aching to break its restraints, break with tradition, and run wild and naked in the streets!
15PPB: Absolutely. Naked all the way.
15PPB: While I'm sure it was quite topical and erudite when it came out, this hair does not stand the test of time.
Adlervan: It served its purpose at the time. Like Bon Jovi. And Spudnuts.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Thumbs down.
15PPB: A foreshadowing hair production. Or, perhaps, forehead shadowing. Might we be seeing a somewhat oblique message about what the modern age idealizes - the idea that while the face must remain young and virile, there are inevitably parts of us which decline?
Adlervan: Whatev. Hot grandpa alert!
Adlervan: "Up In Smoke" meets...I wanna say "Willow". There's something very Warwick Davis about this performance.
15PPB: Just say no, hair. Just say no.
15PPB: No, this is the "Willow" hair. "Willow" meets "The Doors". Paging Val Kilmer, paging Val Kilmer.
Adlervan: Thumbs way way up! It's the age of Aquarius and it's grooooovy, sista.
15PPB: The wet look. It's wet. And it's a look.
Adlervan: The worst review is no review at all.
15PPB: Gary Cooper in "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" meets Michael Caine in "Alfie".
Adlervan: Agreed.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Two thumbs up!
Adlervan: "Wall Street" flashbacks alert number two! Get it away, get it away.
15PPB: You're smoking crack in the balcony again! Wavy, glossy, thick, tug-able - it's the best of Beatty in "Shampoo" and so much more! Just let me be Julie Christie!
15PPB: Prison genre hair is quite tough to pull off (literally, in some cases). This is no great escape.
Adlervan: Who's smoking crack now? This hair redeems Shawshank and escapes Alcatraz. Thumbs up!
15PPB: Now THIS is how you do prison hair! Each strand tells us how much the collective hair misses fruit and unforced sexual encounters and sunlight. Compelling and devastating, all at the same time. This hair pulls me in and refuses to let me go.
Adlervan: Ehn. Needs a wash. I will agree that it speaks to the depression and drudgery of prison life.
15PPB: What? There's hair in this photo? All I see are a pair of y-fronts on a face.
Adlervan: What's a y-front?
15PPB: This hair is really a reflection of self, that while the hair can be whomever it wants to be, it is happiest being red, well-washed and slightly strategically-tousled. It's the "Life Is Beautiful" of hair.
Adlervan: It's "Wild Strawberries" as a Busbey Berkeley musical romp.
15PPB: Exactly.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Two thumbs way up!
We hope you've enjoyed this walk down memhairy lane and our look at the many styles and tribulations of Damian Lewis Man Hair. We know we've enjoyed spending this time with you, and we look forward to seeing you again next time.
Until that time....goodnight, gentle viewer.
adlervan and
15lbpurebunny turn their eye and their comb to some classic moments in Damian Lewis hair follicle history. Highs, highlights, lows and blow-outs - we've got them all for you.
And so, for you, gentle viewer:
Adlervan: Evocative of Steve McQueen, perhaps?
15PPB: Perhaps, but the striking parallel lines of the railing and shadows to my mind reflect better the modern world, a world perhaps McQueen wouldn't have fully been comfortable with, with today's tendencies to fetishize the man-hair.
Adlervan: Did you just say "fetishize"? That's a three-dollar word, there!
Adlervan: Notice how the hair is pointed upward, as if on a quest to seek a higher level of hair product spirituality. It's "The Rapture" meets "Hard Candy", I feel.
15PPB: Yeah, I just wanna lick it...like it's hard, red candy. Tasty.
Adlervan: Quite pensive hair, and a bit of a defeated feel, don't you think? Very Ingmar Bergman.
15PPB: I feel the hair loses a bit of its emotional urgency when portrayed only in black and white, though. Still, this hair obviously has a strong emotional undercurrent which climaxes in a quite phallic and virile looking sideburn.
Adlervan: Also, a closer look reveals a side parting where the hair may have been separated from a conjoined evil twin. Very "Dead Ringers" meets...meets....
15PPB: "Persona".
Adlervan: Exactly.
15PPB: Reminiscent of Tin-Tin here, wouldn't you say?
Adlervan: You mean the tv dog??
15PPB: I'm not sure about you, Adlervan, but the peak at the top makes me think of Africa and goat's milk.
Adlervan: Yes, I was just about to say, "African Queen"!
15PPB: This hair is really miscast in this role. I know people love this hair in this role, but I'm going to go against the grain and say I'd have liked to have seen any of the afore-mentioned hair in this production instead.
Adlervan: Agreed, the hair is out of its element here - zigging when it should be zagging. It's as though it's doing interpretive dance while all the other players here are doing the waltz.
Adlervan: Feel good hair of the summer!
15PPB: Run, don't walk, to this hair!
Adlervan: By the way, just some back story here - but just before this photo was taken, the hair had an awkward run in with Ben Stiller's hair from "There's Something About Mary."
15PPB: Really? Well, all I know is that I want to run my recently "hair-gel"-covered hand through this hair. In the worst way.
Adlervan: Thumbs down.
15PPB: What?? No - it's a wonderful, spare, and well-executed throwback to original Badass Hair. It's "The Wild One" hair! The only thing separating this hair from Marlon Brando is a bike and slightly askew hat. Brando himself would be proud.
Adlervan: But still dead.
Adlervan: Much Ado About Hair!
15PPB: This lovely production really hit its stride when Benedick's hair reveals its true potential to Beatrice's hair. (And I might add - too bad about Beatrice's hair….flipped out hot mess from hell, really.)
Adlervan: But this? Lovely.
Adlervan: Oh, god, I'm having flashbacks to "Wall Street"!
15PPB: It's Gordon Gecko's evil bastard son. And not in a good way. This particular hair takes method styling too far and neglects to provide any level of artistic or aesthetic generosity to its fellow player, the forehead…who, let's face it, desperately needs support here.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Thumbs way down.
15PPB: A fresh and wonderfully idiosyncratic take on the stereotypical redhead.
Adlervan: Yes, we see this hair come on screen and we know we're in for a wild ride.
15PPB: Did you just say "come on a wild ride?"
Adlervan: The slight dishevelment reminds one of "Falling Down" - it tells us that the most ordinary and buttoned-up of men can quite easily turn into the Id, that animal inside us all.
15PPB: Did you just say that he's an "animal inside us"?
Adlervan: Stop that!
15PPB: Scary, scary shitweasel hair.
Adlervan: And that's just what they used to call you at school!
15PPB: Oh, good times. Back to the hair. Now, seeing as how the hair is so neat and un-tousled, I'm going to have to say this is Alien Hair, here. Or, possibly Malcom McDowell's hair, since I'm pretty sure, judging by the accent the hair had in this film, the alien hair was played by McDowell. This hair really gets into the duality of its role in this production. Impressive.
Adlervan: Pretty hair, want to touch...
15PPB: This hair really moved me. There's so much yearning and agony in this hair, so much love and emotion, just under the surface of the pomade. If I were the dark brown wig sitting next to this red, slicked down Victorian hair, I'd gently wash out the layers of product, revealing the tender, almost virginal strands underneath, until all that hair's passion could be exposed to the world in its full glory.
Adlervan: The hair speaks to the repressed passion of the age, for sure. We can just FEEL a curl aching to break its restraints, break with tradition, and run wild and naked in the streets!
15PPB: Absolutely. Naked all the way.
15PPB: While I'm sure it was quite topical and erudite when it came out, this hair does not stand the test of time.
Adlervan: It served its purpose at the time. Like Bon Jovi. And Spudnuts.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Thumbs down.
15PPB: A foreshadowing hair production. Or, perhaps, forehead shadowing. Might we be seeing a somewhat oblique message about what the modern age idealizes - the idea that while the face must remain young and virile, there are inevitably parts of us which decline?
Adlervan: Whatev. Hot grandpa alert!
Adlervan: "Up In Smoke" meets...I wanna say "Willow". There's something very Warwick Davis about this performance.
15PPB: Just say no, hair. Just say no.
15PPB: No, this is the "Willow" hair. "Willow" meets "The Doors". Paging Val Kilmer, paging Val Kilmer.
Adlervan: Thumbs way way up! It's the age of Aquarius and it's grooooovy, sista.
15PPB: The wet look. It's wet. And it's a look.
Adlervan: The worst review is no review at all.
15PPB: Gary Cooper in "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" meets Michael Caine in "Alfie".
Adlervan: Agreed.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Two thumbs up!
Adlervan: "Wall Street" flashbacks alert number two! Get it away, get it away.
15PPB: You're smoking crack in the balcony again! Wavy, glossy, thick, tug-able - it's the best of Beatty in "Shampoo" and so much more! Just let me be Julie Christie!
15PPB: Prison genre hair is quite tough to pull off (literally, in some cases). This is no great escape.
Adlervan: Who's smoking crack now? This hair redeems Shawshank and escapes Alcatraz. Thumbs up!
15PPB: Now THIS is how you do prison hair! Each strand tells us how much the collective hair misses fruit and unforced sexual encounters and sunlight. Compelling and devastating, all at the same time. This hair pulls me in and refuses to let me go.
Adlervan: Ehn. Needs a wash. I will agree that it speaks to the depression and drudgery of prison life.
15PPB: What? There's hair in this photo? All I see are a pair of y-fronts on a face.
Adlervan: What's a y-front?
15PPB: This hair is really a reflection of self, that while the hair can be whomever it wants to be, it is happiest being red, well-washed and slightly strategically-tousled. It's the "Life Is Beautiful" of hair.
Adlervan: It's "Wild Strawberries" as a Busbey Berkeley musical romp.
15PPB: Exactly.
Adlervan & 15PPB: Two thumbs way up!
We hope you've enjoyed this walk down memhairy lane and our look at the many styles and tribulations of Damian Lewis Man Hair. We know we've enjoyed spending this time with you, and we look forward to seeing you again next time.
Until that time....goodnight, gentle viewer.