Cold Fusion: Hallows' Eve, Ch. 13

[dal_niente]

I think these chapters may be too long.  This one's a little better.

Cheers, lovelies! And big hugs and a large plate of cookies, as always.  Here is a blanket, fresh from the dryer, and an unoccupied heating vent.  Sit down, cuddle up.  And read about good people having horrible things happen to them! :D Remember back in Chapter 6 how I said things would only go downhill from there? I meant it.

Thanks as always for bearing with me.


Chapter 13

The body hits the sidewalk with a dull thump as soon as Roxanne steps out the door of her apartment building, and she stumbles back, one hand over her mouth and the other outflung to catch herself on something, anything, before she falls.  Shouts from nearby citizens tell her that no, she is not imagining things.

It's Chad.  Somehow, someway, it's Chad.  Chad lying on his back on the concrete staring up at nothing with empty eyes, Chad with his head beaten in, with a gaping hole in his chest.

It was Chad, anyway.

Some small part of her recognizes that she cannot think.  Nothing coherent.  Her thoughts have gone into a mad, whirling buzz.

There's an arm around her shoulders, a stranger steering her away from the body.  No, not a stranger.  Strangers don't smell like mint and tobacco.  Carlos.  "Here, Miss.  You don't need to look at this.  I'll take care of this.  Ay, back, you little flying bugger! Keep away."

Brainbots have descended as if from nowhere, stretching a ring of yellow tape around the body.  One is trying to put a claw on Roxanne's shoulder, but Carlos keeps waving it away.  "No," Roxanne says, her lips numb.  "No, he's all right, he won't hurt me.  That's Nibs."

Nibs flashes his eyestalk at her, but Roxanne shakes her head.  The brainbot blinks once in understanding and gives up trying to communicate.  He floats to her side and slips his claw into her hand, squeezes gently.

Roxanne takes a deep breath to keep from screaming and pats Nibs' dome, then walks back inside.

"Okay, Miss Ritchi," Carlos says, following her in, "you come over here and sit down.  Or you want to go back up to your apartment?"

Roxanne shakes her head mutely.  Carlos nods.  "Okay.  Come with me." He takes her arm and guides her over behind his desk, to a door that has always been closed in the past.  It leads to a small, dark room with an easy chair covered in small scorch marks and stains, an old television showing some over-acted drama, and a mini-fridge.  Carlos settles Roxanne into the chair.  "Here, here is a blanket, here is a Coke, no, drink it, the sugar is good for you.  Okay.  You stay here until it calms down out there, okay? Yes."

There's a tap on his shoulder and he turns to see Nibs, then spots the crowd behind the floating robot.  People are beginning to trickle into the lobby of the apartment complex.

Carlos brushes past Nibs, slamming the door to his room behind him.  "No! Get out!" he snaps, herding people back towards the glass doors.  It's been years since his days as a bouncer for the AM Local, but he hasn't forgotten how to get people to get out.  It's all in the stance, it's all in the body language.  "Out! Out! Everybody out.  Only patrons and guests in here.  You on the list? No sir.  You turn 'round and gitcher ass out the door.  You live here? No ma'am! No children in here.  And you," he snarls as an off-duty reporter pulls out his notepad and opens his mouth, "get the fuck out of this establishment!"

The reporter offers a sappy smile and takes a deep breath, only to have his pen shoved halfway up his nose by a woman with a stroller fleeing Carlos' steady wrath.  "OUT!" Carlos bellows, and chases the last of the curious passers-by out onto the sidewalk and then locks the doors.

He folds his arms over his chest.  Nobody is going to get past him without a very good reason.

The brainbot floats to his side, thauming worriedly, and together they watch the crowd mill outside.  Carlos doesn't relax-not when the police arrive, not when the body is carried away on a stretcher and soda poured over the sidewalk to clean up the blood, not even after the crowd begins to dissipate.  And certainly not when the news vans show up.

He stands like a rock for nearly half an hour, arms over his chest, ain't-nobody-messes-with-me scowl firmly in place.  Finally he glances down at the machine at his hip.  "This," he says, "is going to be a strange day."

The machine tilts its eyestalk up at him, then tilts up and down a few times.  Carlos blinks and looks closer.  "Can you-did you nod?"

Thaum, says Nibs, and nods again.

"You understand me?"

Another nod.

"But you cannot speak." Carlos stands for a moment, eyeing the brainbot's claws thoughtfully.  "You can write?"

Nibs pauses.  Tilts to the side.  Carlos makes a decision and gestures for the little machine to follow him over to the desk, where he finds a pen and scrap of paper and turns only to find that Nibs has opened up a text document on the computer and is typing like mad.

I think this will probably be easier than writing, Nibs types.  I recently switched chassis and am still acclimating.  My manual dexterity needs to be adjusted, but with all that's been happening lately, I haven't come around to it.  I'm called Nibs, who are you?

"Carlos," says Carlos.

I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Carlos.  May I submit a query?

Carlos has to blink a few times.  "You mean, can you ask me a question? Sure."

What are your feelings towards my master?

"Um," says Carlos.  "Why?"

Because Miss Ritchi has recovered some of her mental faculties and is calling him.  He'll be here soon.  I want you to be prepared.  He's not going to be in a good mood.

Carlos frowns.  "How do you know that?"

Trust me, the brainbot types.  I know.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The crowd has mostly dissolved, the people gone back to their own little lives, when Megamind's black Hudson screams down the street and jumps the curb to grind to a halt on the sidewalk.  The crowd scatters long enough to get out of the way-citizens of Metro City are very good at avoiding sudden death-but the people coalesce again almost immediately as the city's resident ex-supervillain nearly falls out of the driver's seat.  Luckily Carlos is already unlocking the door, and he pulls it open just in time for Megamind to dive into the lobby.  Then he closes it again and locks it quickly, before anyone else can follow.

Megamind scrambles to his feet, wild-eyed.  "Roxanne?"

Carlos knows the look on his face and knows that talking won't do a single ounce of good, so he just shows him through the door to his back room, where Roxanne is curled in the faded chair, watching a rerun of Más sabe el Diablo.

Megamind steps through the door, blinking a little as his heart begins to decelerate.  A small, rational part of his brain wonders why the armchair Roxanne's sitting is scorched in places, and another small, rational part files the question away under 'Irrelevant.'

He clears his throat.  "Roxanne?"

Roxanne doesn't look up.  "I have no idea what's going on!" she exclaims.  "Apparently this one guy was, I dunno, nobody likes him except the hot lawyer girl, but he got shot and he fell off the bridge and everybody thought he was dead? Only now he isn't dead at all? I can't understand a single thing anyone is saying, but everybody's yelling about something."

Megamind clears his throat.  "So our bad day just got worse," he says evenly.  "I just had a talk with Sundown over by the docks."

Roxanne looks at him, then.  "Sundown was there?"

Megamind nods and glances down at the box he's holding.  "He said to give you this.  He said it belongs to you.  I'm really not sure if I should -"

Roxanne swallows and shakes her head.  "No, I think I'd rather do as he says." She reaches for the box.  "What's in it?"

Megamind shrugs.  "He said I shouldn't open it."

Roxanne frowns and undoes the clasp, swings the hinged lid open.  And blinks.  Her face goes totally blank, and totally white.  "…Oh."

Megamind bites his lip.  Roxanne is making the face he had expected to see when he had told her that Chad was missing from prison.  "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure," Roxanne says numbly.  Her teeth are beginning to chatter as she closes the box, latches it with shaking hands, and holds it out.  "I think you'd b-better take it.  I don't want it."

Megamind looks at it, then back at Roxanne as he slowly takes it away.  "But, he said-it's yours."

Roxanne's mouth draws a thin line.  "If he said it's mine, then I'll do what I want with it.  And I don't want it.  Get rid of it.  Give it to the police.  Burn it, for all I care." She swallows hard.  "Carlos?"

The doorman pokes his head in.  "Miss?"

Roxanne swallows again.  Her eyes are like saucers.  "Carlos, I think I'm going to be sick.  Is there a bucket?"

Carlos darts forward and grabs the wastebasket and turns it over, sending empty Coke cans clattering everywhere, then dodges around Megamind to set the bin on the floor in front of Roxanne.  She nods her thanks and slides off the chair.

Carlos looks at Megamind, who is standing frozen, staring into the open box.  "You need one too?"

Megamind blinks twice and clicks the box closed.  "No.  No, I'll be all right, thank you." He's pale, but not as pale as Roxanne, and his voice is steady, and Carlos' eyes narrow as the alien heaves a sigh and goes over to kneel beside Roxanne.  Not down on one knee, not a crouch.  He's kneeling, feet curled inwards behind him and knees together in front, and Carlos isn't sure why but that says something.

"Hey.  It's all right.  It's okay." Megamind brushes Roxanne's hair back from her forehead, tucks errant strands behind her ear.  "It's okay.  I've got you."

She sniffs and lifts her head.  She hasn't thrown up yet, but Carlos hands her a bottle of water and a dishtowel just in case.  He's still watching Megamind.  There's something here, Carlos thinks, and I don't think I was expecting it.

"Th-that was his heart.  Wasn't it." Roxanne gulps and looks at Megamind.  "That was Chad's heart."

"Pity it wasn't something else," Megamind says.  His tone is too flippant for Carlos' tastes, but there's genuine worry underneath.  "We could have made so very many 'dick-in-a-box' jokes."

Roxanne lets out a weak laugh that sounds like a sob.

"A real shame," Megamind continues, shaking his head in mock-despair.  "Opportunities like that don't come every day."

"…Oh my god." She leans sideways until she bumps into his chest, and that's really what seals the deal for Carlos.  Roxanne has lived in his building for nearly ten years, and he has seen her greet friends and family, he has been present at the last four Christmas parties she's thrown-in all the time he's known her, he has only ever seen her act like this around Metro Man.  "Why would Sundown send me his heart?"

Megamind shrugs.  "Why does Sundown do any of what he does? He's insane."

"Should I…thank him? Or something?"

Megamind rests his chin on her head and, incredibly, Roxanne relaxes.  "Probably not," the ex-villain mumbles.  "Best just to stay away from him, I think."

"'Kay." There's a brief pause, and then Roxanne pulls away and looks up at him.  "Do you think Wayne might know anything about him?"

Megamind frowns.  "He might.  I can't believe he could be a hero for so long and not run into Sundown at some point or other."

It is at this point that they both remember Carlos, and look up.  He looks back at them, notes that they are both staring like deer in the headlights, and takes the initiative.  "Um," he says.  "Don't ask, don't tell?"

Megamind's eyebrows draw together, then shoot skyward.  It's Roxanne who replies, "Not the usual context, but in this case, I think I'll take it.  Thanks, Carlos."

"Oh," says Megamind, "that's what he…oh.  Huh."

"I'm going to go see if it is clear outside," Carlos tells them, and disappears, scratching his head.  He's going to need a stiff drink after this.  Thank God for the emergency bottle of corn liquor hiding in the locked file drawer of his desk.  Moonshine tastes like angry fire, but that's okay; Carlos and fire are old, old friends.

Roxanne sends a questioning look in Megamind's direction as the doorman's footsteps fade.  "What is it?"

"Oh, I just-nothing." Megamind frowns.  "Really," he insists, "it's nothing."

"Tell me."

"It's…" He pauses for a moment.  "I think Wayne might be gay."

Roxanne blinks at him, then bursts out laughing.  "Really? You think?"

Megamind flushes and hunches a little.  "Hey, I'm new at this, okay? What do I know about sexuality?"

The laughter fades to a smile.  "Nothing," Roxanne says softly, "but I love you anyway." She leans into his side.  "Mmmm."

"Carlos is gonna come back and see us," Megamind tells her.  She sniffs.

"Don't care."

He sends a nervous glance at the doorway.  "Well, I do," he replies, more tersely than he had meant to.  "Please get up."

Roxanne sighs, but nods and sits up just in time for Carlos to return.  "The coast is clear," he announces, then blinks at Megamind, who has risen to his feet and is standing with his head up and his fists clenched.  "Is something wrong?"

"No," Megamind says clearly, "nothing's wrong." He raises his chin even higher.  "Roxanne Ritchi and I are dating."

Roxanne starts and stares up at him.  "Megamind?"

Carlos, however, is nodding.  "I thought you might be.  Yes."

"Only," Megamind continues, "we aren't telling anyone yet.  We're waiting for a couple more months.  Can I trust you, please, not to tell anyone?"

Carlos grins.  "Can I trust you, please, not to make me a blue cube again?" He looks the blue alien up and down, shaking his head.  "Christ, watch your hands shake.  Not a word."

Megamind nods, looking faintly disturbed.  "Wonderful," he says flatly.  "Thank you.  Roxanne, we should-we should go.  Now."

Roxanne starts to scramble to her feet, then pauses when the world tilts dangerously, and pushes herself up more slowly.  Megamind is already in front of her, strapping his watch to her wrist.

"Be careful," he tells her, "and don't make any sudden, big moves.  This isn't calibrated to you.  If you do something unexpected, it might short out."

"But why-"

"Can't have everyone seeing Roxanne Ritchi climbing into a car with Megamind, can we?" Megamind points out.  He twists the dial and activates the vocal overlay, then grins weakly up at Roxanne, whose blue eyes blink back at him out of Pavel's narrow face.

"Oh," Roxanne says with Pavel's voice.  "Oh.  Right." Then she blinks again and lifts a hand to her throat.  "Weird," she exclaims, "this is bizarre." She looks down at her hands and her expression twists.  "I don't…I don't think I like this," she admits, turning her hands over, moving her fingers.

"It takes some getting used to," Megamind tells her, and turns to Carlos.  "Thank you," he says, and there's no faking the sincerity in his voice.  "Thank you so much for helping us."

Carlos just nods and holds the door for him and the dark-haired young man at his side.  At this point, he just wants them to leave so he can get back to pretending everything is normal.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

They walk to the car slowly, since Roxanne's head is still spinning a little and she can't lean on Megamind in her current state.  She moves her hips too much while she walks-the disguise generator compensates for image and voice only; basic movements and vocal patterns are left the way they are-but the invisible car is parked on the sidewalk and Roxanne/Pavel doesn't have far to go, so Megamind doesn't comment.

He doesn't sense Roxanne relax until after the car is moving.

"How you doing?" he asks.

"I think I'm okay," Roxanne replies slowly, sounding a little surprised.  "Yes.  I'm pretty sure I'm okay.  The past two hours have been a little weird but I think I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Pavel's face twists in a wry smile.  "Today, instead of being kidnapped, I saw two men shot to death in front of me and had a very brief, very weird conversation with their killer.  I got into a shouting match with my mother and revisited a lot of painful memories.  I had a fight with you, which we resolved, and then we got to watch Minion and Wayne dance circles around each other over breakfast.  I am worried about Wayne.  My ex-boyfriend's body just fell off the roof of my apartment building and landed in front of me, and I was just handed his heart in a box.  And it's barely noon." Roxanne takes a deep breath.  "And yet, somehow, I feel…nothing." She spreads her hands.  "I feel completely fine."

Megamind glances over at her.  "Well, you-"

"So either I'm in shock, which, at this point, is pretty likely, or there is something very, very wrong with me."

"Shock, probably." Megamind runs a yellow light.

"It's so weird." Roxanne continues as if she hasn't heard him.  "You, I mean, your driving.  Usually I'm a little nervous about your driving because you are a good driver but you're kind of a maniac, but right now I'm just sitting here like, okay, Megamind is driving.  It's.  That's a fact.  I'm not nervous or anything.

"You know, I like facts," she remarks suddenly, in the same decisive, pleased tone Megamind might use to say he likes vats of acid.  "You know where you stand with facts.  They're like numbers, you know? You always know where you stand with them.  Except for pi.  I hate pi.  I trust pi about as far as I can throw a Buick." She pauses.  "…I wouldn't ordinarily be saying any of this, would I?"

"How far can you throw a Buick?"

"Quantitatively? Zero centimeters."

Megamind turns left.  He's trying very hard not to laugh; he's almost certain that wouldn't be appropriate.  "In imperial units."

Roxanne scowls at him.  She hates unit conversions, and Megamind knows it.  "Three gallons, give or take a bushel."

"I see.  Does that come with a cubit of water?"

"Sadly, no.  But it does come with a rasher."

Megamind looks at her, startled.  "Of-of bacon?"

Roxanne sends him a look that is genuinely puzzled.  Suddenly, it isn't very funny anymore.  "Does anything else come in rashers?"

"I…don't think so."

"That's something I've always wondered about," she admits.  "Why the imperial system has such silly names for units.  I mean, you've got a fathom, okay? And that's only about six feet, never mind that fathom just sounds deep.  Just this huge, deep…unfathomable," she exclaims, and Megamind lets out an odd, wobbly noise that isn't quite a laugh.  "Right? But a fathom is really only one-fifteenth of a shackle.

"So if I'm trying to figure out how long of an anchor chain to put on my warship-chain in this case being an actual chain and not a unit of measurement, because it's that too-I have to take two times the square root of the depth of water in fathoms.  And that will give me the number of shackles of cable I need.  And a cable is six hundred and eight feet.  So then you have to convert the shackles of cable back to feet, unless you want to go ask the man at the shop for tumpty-one shackles of mooring chain.  I don't know why you just don't ask for however many fathoms you'll need."

What is she doing? Megamind wonders, and then the answer dawns.  She's counting again.  This is just a complicated way of keeping order in her head.

"Oh, and as long as I'm ranting, NASA says the space station is two hundred and eleven nautical miles up.  It is a space station! It is in space! Why are we measuring innautical miles? I mean, shouldn't we be measuring in…in astral miles, or something like that?"

"Yes, but an astral mile is one-tenth of a light-year," Megamind finally interrupts.  "And the light-year to nautical mile conversion is an absolute nightmare."

Roxanne looks at him for a long moment before she replies.  "You're lying."

He half-smiles.  "About the astral miles, yes, but not the nightmare.  There are more zeros in that figure than I usually like to tackle when I'm not actively doing mental gymnastics."

Roxanne folds Pavel's arms across her chest.  "Okay, super-genius," she challenges, "how far up is the international space station in light-years?"

Megamind's face goes blank.  The muscles around his eyes twitch once.

And then he says, "Four point one three zero forty-six thirty-one times ten to the power of negative eleven…ish.  The calculation itself is simple, it's just the numbers that are hellish."

Roxanne lets out a long, measured breath.  "Explain?"

"Okay, so we know that light travels at one hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second.  That's just something I know.  And there are eighty-six thousand and four hundred seconds in a day and three-sixty-five days in a year, so we multiply them all together and find that there are approximately five point eight six five six nine six times ten to the power of twelve miles in one light year.  Remember that.

"Six point zero eight feet in a fathom.  Fifteen fathoms in a shackle.  Six point seven six shackles in a cable, give or take a little, and ten cables in a nautical mile.  So there are roughly six thousand and seventy-six feet in a nautical mile.  Are you with me so far?"

Roxanne nods grimly.  "Keep explaining."

"Six zero seven six feet in a nautical mile.  In a normal mile, there are five two eight zero feet.  So a nautical mile is roughly one point one five miles.  Back to light years.  To get how many nautical miles in a light year, we do one point one five divided by the five point eight six number.  And we get one nautical mile equals roughly one point nine five seven six times ten to the power of negative thirteen.

"And then, of course, we just multiply that by two hundred and eleven, and there you go.  4.1304631e-11."

Silence from the passenger seat.  Megamind glances over after a few seconds, only to find that Roxanne has her eyes squeezed tightly closed and both hands up as if she's clutching the air on both sides of her face.

"Are you-"

"Shh-!" She jerks a hand at him, and his mouth snaps shut.

They drive for a full four minutes before she lets out a low curse.  Nearly ten more minutes pass before she speaks again, slowly, as if it hurts.  "That's-not-right."

Megamind blinks.  "What isn't?"

"That number," she says.  "It isn't right, it doesn't work.  It comes to 4.130536e-11.  I'm sure it does.  I'm sure it does."

"Oh," says Megamind, as comprehension hits him like a ton of brick, "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry-you're rounding your numbers, remember? You…you sort of have to do that."

Roxanne opens her eyes and looks at him as they pull to a halt at a red light.  "And you don't?"

"No," Megamind replies tightly.  "I don't."

This is followed by an intensely awkward silence that lingers until the light changes.  When the tires squeal out into the intersection, Roxanne clears her throat.

"Okay," she says, and her usual tone is back even if her voice is still masculine.  "I think I'm okay now.  The math helped.  Thank you."

Megamind nods silently.

"What was that, back there, by the way?" Roxanne doesn't sound argumentative, just confused.  "You outed us to Carlos."

Megamind swallows and nods and doesn't mention rounding.  "I was proving a point."

Roxanne recoils.  "Proving a…what point? To whom?"

"To me.  That you and I can be together in public.  Sometimes.  Some places." He huffs a sigh.  "I mean…I want to be cool about it.  Like you." Roxanne just looks at him, and he fidgets.  "Look," he finally bursts out, "you're used to the limey-light, heck, you thrive there, but I don't like people looking at me! And people looking at us, well, I just don't know.  We probably can come out before Christmas, if it means that much to you, but I just…I'm just…"

"Just what?"

He won't look at her.  "I know you hate hiding, Roxanne, I know it bothers you, but I'm…I've been in the shadows for so long.  I just feel safer this way."

Roxanne holds up her hands.  "Whoa, wait.  Hold on.  Where is this coming from?"

Megamind opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.  He's not surprised.  He has no idea what to say.

He's scared.  It shouldn't be difficult to say, especially not to Roxanne of all people, but he's never admitted to being scared before.

In the silence, Pavel makes a frustrated noise and presses the stealth mode button on the center console.  Beedlededee, the car chirps, and shimmers out of visibility.  Megamind adjusts his driving automatically, and a moment later, there's a flash of blue light to his right.  He glances over, only to find Pavel blinking down at a puffy parka from behind a thick balaclava.

"I forgot he had this," Roxanne mumbles, and turns the dial of the watch two clicks in the other direction.  Now she's sitting in a pressed wool suit.  "I give up, how do you deactivate this crazy thing?"

"Just take it off," Megamind says, "I'd do it for you but I'm driving."

Roxanne nods and starts to unhook the watch.  The illusion jumps and goes fuzzy, and then an automated voice makes Roxanne and Megamind both jump.  Warning, the voice says, disguise generator compromised.  Please check that it is fastened securely.

Megamind growls.  "Code: Turn Off The Watch."

The illusion flashes blue once more, and Roxanne finds herself looking down at her own hands.

"Sorry," Megamind grumbles.  "I didn't think-I programmed a bunch of warnings in after the restaurant malfunction."

Roxanne manages a smile.  "So I guess it's waterproof now, too?"

"Naturally, dear lady," he grins, then drops the smug expression and coy tone as abruptly as he had picked them up.  He sighs, starts to say something, stops, sighs again.

"You're right, you know," Roxanne says quietly.  "I am used to the limelight." Megamind mutters something about 'silent E' and a 'Great Vowel Shift.' Roxanne isn't sure what that's about, so she passes it by.  "And you aren't.  Not as you, I mean, not as Megamind."

He cuts her a sideways glance.  "I've always been Megamind."

"No you haven't.  MEHHHGA-MIND," Roxanne crows, in her very best approximation of her companion's Evil Villain inflection, and is rewarded by seeing him jump.  "Him, yes.  Supervillain you is used to being looked at and filmed and criticized and vilified.  Supervillain you was fine with that.  But now the supervillain is gone, and it's just you, isn't it?" She looks at him.  "In front of everybody."

Megamind stares straight ahead, shoulders tense, almost flinching.  Roxanne just looks for a moment, studies him, the way he's sitting, the way his hands are clenched on the wheel.  "Wayne's not the only one having an identity crisis, is he?"

Megamind's jaw clenches.  It's a long few seconds before he manages to say, "No."

Roxanne nods.  "You wanna talk about it?"

He takes a shuddery sort of breath, not the kind that happens after crying but the kind that happens when you're so unsure that you don't even know where to look, let alone what to say.  "I…yeah."

"Wait, really?" It's a knee-jerk response.

"No.  Yes? I don't know.  I don't know anything anymore.  The rebuild project was good, but now it's almost over.  I have to come up with something new?" He shakes his head, huffs frustration through his nose.  "I can't be me.  Not for them.  For you, for Minion - Wayne - but not out there, not for them.  For you, I will give as accurate an answer as your language will allow, but I'll give them rounding errors every time."

"Of course you can-"

"No, Roxanne." He glances at her.  "No, I can't.  I don't even know who I'm supposed to be, really.  I'm trying not to be the villain anymore, but it's…it's hard sometimes, you know, when the board is breathing down my neck, and I'm doing the best I can, and I'm trying to uphold the law…

"The law, now there's a problem." He lets out a short little laugh.  "Some of my strongest allies are on the wrong side of the law.  Some of them have helped me.  I'm not gonna turn them in! I'm not.  But that's what a hero does, isn't it?"

"But you're not a hero," Roxanne tells him, and he finally looks at her again, a long, slow look.

"Thanks," he finally says.  "Everyone else keeps telling me I am."

Roxanne shakes her head.  "It's like Wayne said.  You can be whoever, whatever, you want to be." She pauses.  "So what do you want to be?"

Megamind thinks about that one for a while, which doesn't happen often.  He's still driving, which makes Roxanne a little nervous because his eyes are so far away, but he's still weaving in and out of traffic like a pro so she just tightens her seatbelt and waits.

Finally, he speaks again, and it's not the long answer she had expected.

"Safe." He blinks once and looks over at her, and god, he looks tired.  And a little bit embarrassed.  "I want to be safe.  I want…I want to make this city safe."

Roxanne blinks.  "Well, that's a noble-"

"No." Megamind corrects himself, frowning.  "I want to make this city a stronghold.  That's the problem.  I don't want anybody in this city to get hurt or robbed or killed or anything.  I mean, I know those things will happen.  But I want it to happen as little as possible.  I can't operate inside the law if I want that."

"But that's what the law is for," Roxanne points out.

"Well, then clearly it isn't working and I must circumvent it!"

Roxanne folds her hands together and taps her index fingers together nervously.  "Pretty sure what you're talking about is less circumvention and more…actual breaking.  Vigilantism."

Megamind shrugs.  "Batman is more my style than Superman, anyway.  I don't want to be a hero.  I guess…" He frowns harder.  "I guess that's part of the problem." He looks over at Roxanne, suddenly worried.  "Is that okay?"

She laughs.  "Honey, you're still okay.  I don't care if you're a hero or not.  You'll keep the city safe, one way or another, and all's well that ends well.  That's kind of what you've always done, isn't it?" Megamind flushes.

"It was selfish," he mutters.  "I just didn't want anybody to be able to get to me."

Roxanne just grins and pats him on the shoulder.  "You're a good man, Charlie Brown.  Nothing you do will change that."

Megamind snorts.  "Jury's still out on that one."

"Really? I thought it delivered the verdict ages ago."

"It did, but I made a motion for judgment N.O.V."

"Well, the motion was denied." Does it still count as banter, Roxanne wonders, if it's weirdly technical?

"Doesn't matter; I appealed."

Roxanne sniffs.  "Maybe I affirmed the trial court's judgment."

"Maybe I took it to the federal court!"

"Which affirmed the original verdict! Further litigation would be pointless!"

"Argh," Megamind cries.  If he hadn't been driving he would have thrown his hands up.  "You just never give up, do you?"

Roxanne settles back in her seat, looking smug.  "Sweetie, I dated a law student for three years and pretended to date Wayne for six, all the while getting kidnapped and teased by a man with more Ph.  Ds than he knows what to do with.  I learned from the best."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Years of kidnapping have left their mark, and Roxanne bounces back from her experience surprisingly quickly, although she freely admits that she's probably not going to sleep very well for a while.  She's just very good at compartmentalizing.

So when they get back to the Lair, she takes a hot shower and crawls into comfortable clothing, then sits down to work on a growing list of things to leave at the apartment while Megamind finishes up 'a project' and runs a quick errand.

Roxanne hears him heading for the door and manages to catch him before he leaves, and Megamind smiles at her.  It's tentative, though - uncertain, and he seems a little wild around the edges, and Roxanne is struck suddenly with the realization that he is probably this close to bugging out again.  He's on completely new ground, after all.  She knows how much he hates that.

But he smiles for her anyway.  "You'll be okay until I get back?"

Roxanne nods, then surprises him by pressing her forehead against his for a long moment.  "I'll be okay."

"It-it's just, you aren't okay now.  I sort of don't want to go." This is accompanied by a nervous laugh.

Roxanne pulls back and takes his face in her hands.  It's funny, she thinks, I've never dated anyone who was the same height as me before.  "Look," she says, "I've been…okay, no, I haven't been through worse.  Not all in one day.  But cumulatively, really, today could have been worse.  I'll be fine."

He blinks at her.  "But…"

"Look at it this way.  I've gotten through some tough shit without you before, right?" Roxanne raises her eyebrows.  "I think I can make it a few hours while you're gone.  Besides, Minion will be here."

"And you'll call me if you need anything?" His brow furrows.

She smiles then, a real smile.  "Of course I will," she tells him.  "There's nobody I'd rather call."

Megamind half-smiles.  "Strange as that sounds?"

"Strange as that sounds," Roxanne agrees with a laugh.  "Yes.  Come on, now, you have places to go and people to see, and I need to finish my list.  I'll see you later."

Megamind nods.  Then, impulsively, he hugs her, a brief, desperate squeeze just before he turns and swirls away to the door, leaving Roxanne blinking after him.

She realizes that she had forgotten to ask where he was going.  Oh well, I'll ask when he gets home.

Shaking her head, she returns to the sofa and sprawls full-length, clipboard in front of her, tapping the end of her pen against her lips.  "So the bed and bureau will stay," she mutters to herself, "along with most of the rest of the furniture and the mechanical appliances.  Hmm.  I'll need to ask about storage here at the Lair…"

She jots down specifics as they come to her, planning absently, her thoughts scattered and disjointed.

She's moving in with Megamind.  She is moving in with Megamind.

Weird.  She knows it's weird.  So why does it feel so utterly amazing? Two years ago, if someone had told her she'd be moving in with her blue kidnapper, she'd have called that person mad.  Now, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

The only thing she's nervous about is the fact that the Lair is very much Megamind's territory.  Roxanne is confident and comfortable with the building, the machines, and the odd pitfalls and traps here and there, but none of it is hers.  Not yet.  As much as Megamind will insist, if Roxanne wanted to change something, she wouldn't be comfortable doing so without asking Megamind's permission first.  She wants a part of it to be hers, just so that she has a place over which she'll have complete control until she really settles in.

"Miss Ritchi?"

Roxanne looks up to find Minion standing in the doorway with her cell phone in one hand.  He looks mortified.  "Minion?" she says, surprised.  "What's wrong?"

"Your phone rang.  And I-I thought it was Scott, so I answered it.  I know I shouldn't have! I'm sorry!"

"It wasn't Wayne," Roxanne guesses.  Minion shakes his head.

"No," he says in a small voice.  "It wasn't.  I don't know who it was.  I said 'hello' and he said 'wait who's this' and I panicked and said 'Kevin's Pizza, how can I help you,' and then he said 'wait what,' and I panicked and hung up."

Roxanne snorts.  "It's okay, Minion, just…just don't answer my phone in the future, okay? Who was it?"

He nods.  "I don't know.  Here."

Roxanne checks the call log.  "Oh! It was Drew.  Hmm."

Minion's fins fan out anxiously.  "What are we gonna do? What are we gonna tell him?"

"No idea," Roxanne replies, already dialing, "I'll just wing it.  Hey, Drew, how's it going?"

Her brother sounds amused.  "Hey, hey, hey, Little Sister.  Who picked up before?"

Roxanne laughs.  "A friend of mine who thought you were somebody else."

"And his default reaction was to pretend this was a pizzeria? That's awesome." Drew has always had a lot of respect for the entropic.  "Who is this guy? He sounds like good times."

"We, uh, we call him Minnie."

"What, is that supposed to be ironic or something, or does he look like a mouse?"

"Oh no, yeah, he's, he's huge.  Gigantic." Roxanne glances up at Minion and winks, and the fish hides a grin behind a massive metal hand.  "Built like a gorilla.  What's up?"

"Oh, uh," Drew hems for a minute.  "I just, you know.  Heard about you and, uh, Mom.  Are you-you're not still coming down for Thanksgiving, are you."

"I'm still coming down," Roxanne assures him, and then has to hold the phone away from her ear when he cheers.  "I haven't disowned the family, or anything, I just…don't want to hear from Mom for a while.  But I'll be there."

"Do I need to come pick you up at the train station or the airport?"

"I'm thinking of borrowing Pavel's car," Roxanne says, "but I'll let you know closer to the date.  My current plan is to head down on Friday, get there on Monday, and stay through the following Friday and shoot to get home Sunday or Monday of the following week."

"Wow, that's awesome," Drew blurts out.  "That's a lot longer than I expected you to be able to take off! I can't wait! You gonna stay with me, then? On my sofa?"

Roxanne leans back in her chair.  "Well, if your current squeeze doesn't mind too much, that'd be great.  Are you seeing anyone? I can't keep track."

"Oh, well, you know," Drew says, and Roxanne can just see him bobbing his head back and forth as he hedges.  "Kinda, sometimes.  Nothing, you know, serious or anything, we just tend to…run into one another.  On occasion."

"With your crotches," Roxanne states, nonplussed.

"Wellllll…yes.  Maybe.  A bit."

"Do I get to meet…?" Roxanne used to try to guess, but with Drew, it's safest not to assume anything.

"Her," Drew clarifies, "and probably not.  We really aren't a thing."

Roxanne laughs and nods.  "Okay, okay, I get it, I'll stop asking.  Can I at least know her name?"

"Alex.  So I take it this means Pavel isn't coming with you this time?" Drew sounds a little disappointed.

"No, sorry.  But I'm thinking about dragging him down with me for Christmas.  Him and Minn-" Sudden movement catches Roxanne's attention and she looks up to see Minion shaking his head rapidly and mouthing, No.  "-Oh! Looks like Minnie has other plans.  Just Pavel, then."

"Like, to the beach house?"

"Yeah.  You think that's a good idea?"

"I think that's an amazing idea, and if you do not do it, I will be very sad."

Roxanne's lips twitch.  "Well, we can't have that."

"Indeed we can't." There's a pause, and then Drew accuses, "You're using your I'm-busy voice."

"Oh good, it's working."

"What'cha working on?"

"A list.  I'm moving in with Pavel."

Ringing silence.

"Hello?"

"Are you sure about this?" Drew's voice has gone very flat.  "Annie, are you sure?"

"Yes, I-"

"Only, it's only been four months, and it's hard to leave once you've moved all your stuff.  As you know."

Roxanne scowls.  "I've known Pavel for years, and don't call me Annie.  And the apartment is mine until May! If this doesn't work out, I'll move back.  For heaven's sake, Drew, anyone would think you haven't been emailing back and forth with this guy about everything and a bag of chips."

"Yeah, okay," Drew mutters.  "I know.  I just worry about you.  Your support network is…well, you don't really have one up there.  You have Jo, and you had Wayne, but other than that…"

"I know, Drew.  I really am okay." Today, I learned what sound a body makes when it falls twenty stories, she doesn't say.  "Listen, I have to get back to work-I do want to head into the office later today if I can, so I need to finish this list.  Talk to you later, maybe? Sorry to cut this short, I know we don't talk much."

"No, it's okay, I'm working on something, too," Drew admits, "and it's…time-sensitive? I'm pretty much booked for the week."

"I'll talk to you at some point, then.  What are you working on?"

"A commission, actually.  My buyer wants a compound designed to slow down thought processes-I think they do private research on biochemistry.  I dunno, it's a challenge."

Roxanne grins.  There's nothing Drew loves more than a challenge.  "Well, I'll let you get back to your puzzle, then.  Have fun."

"Oh, I plan to.  Cheers, Annie."

"Bye." Roxanne hangs up and, grinning, returns to her list.

A few seconds later, she gets a text from Drew.  So what does Megs think of your new boy? Jealous? U 2 still in touch at all?

Rolling her eyes, Roxanne responds, Yes we're in touch.  Carnally.  On an almost nightly basis.

Ding! says her phone.  Lol I knew it.  Is Pavel OK with that?

U kidding? Roxanne types back, grinning.  He's the one filming it.

There's a longer pause this time.  Don't worry, I won't joke about this with Pavel.

I don't think he'll mind, Roxanne types, and almost, almost hits 'Send.' But, at the last minute, she deletes it.  Instead, she types out, That's probably a good idea.

She looks at it for a moment, then sends it.

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