Merlin - Fiscally Speaking {Merlin, Arthur}
Title: Fiscally Speaking
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Merlin, Arthur
Genre: AU
Rating: work-safe
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of this intellectual property. In fact, I haven't even watched it.
A/N: For moonythestrals, who has a talent for making me do things that I will inevitably regret later. <3
"Oh god, we're gong to jail, aren't we?" Merlin whined. "Even more so than the last time."
"Bollocks. Using Mark-to-Market on the sale of the HR staff's souls was a brilliant idea," Arthur preened.
Merlin clung to his Blackberry and wondered if they'd get conjugal visits in prison. "Only they've capped executive salaries at half a million dollars. And you aren't complying. The public will see us lynched. Dear god, why aren't you complying?"
Hopefully they'd close Guantanamo Bay before his trial date. Merlin was quite sure Cuba would have him breaking out in a rash.
"I'll have you know that I've seen to implementing that policy to all my top advisors," Arthur smirked. It was the sort of smirk Merlin knew to be typical of Enron traders right before the moral high-ground swallowed them up whole. "Half a million for me, half a million for my sword, half a million for that dragon you keep hidden in the boiler room-"
"It cuts heating oil expenses!" Merlin cried, looking a bit shifty.
Arthur waved him off as if it were a textbook 'make or buy' cost analysis and not a huge insurance risk. "Besides, if I took @LadyOfTheLake from Twitter off our payroll, who'd make the obscenely favorable sale predictions that generate the level of investment that allows me to invest in those silly Round Table Nights you're always going on about."
Clinging to his ledger, Merlin decided he wasn't too much of a man to cry when the SEC came for him. He only wished he'd calculated a Crazy-to-Brilliant Ratio before taking this stupid job.
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Merlin, Arthur
Genre: AU
Rating: work-safe
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of this intellectual property. In fact, I haven't even watched it.
A/N: For moonythestrals, who has a talent for making me do things that I will inevitably regret later. <3
"Oh god, we're gong to jail, aren't we?" Merlin whined. "Even more so than the last time."
"Bollocks. Using Mark-to-Market on the sale of the HR staff's souls was a brilliant idea," Arthur preened.
Merlin clung to his Blackberry and wondered if they'd get conjugal visits in prison. "Only they've capped executive salaries at half a million dollars. And you aren't complying. The public will see us lynched. Dear god, why aren't you complying?"
Hopefully they'd close Guantanamo Bay before his trial date. Merlin was quite sure Cuba would have him breaking out in a rash.
"I'll have you know that I've seen to implementing that policy to all my top advisors," Arthur smirked. It was the sort of smirk Merlin knew to be typical of Enron traders right before the moral high-ground swallowed them up whole. "Half a million for me, half a million for my sword, half a million for that dragon you keep hidden in the boiler room-"
"It cuts heating oil expenses!" Merlin cried, looking a bit shifty.
Arthur waved him off as if it were a textbook 'make or buy' cost analysis and not a huge insurance risk. "Besides, if I took @LadyOfTheLake from Twitter off our payroll, who'd make the obscenely favorable sale predictions that generate the level of investment that allows me to invest in those silly Round Table Nights you're always going on about."
Clinging to his ledger, Merlin decided he wasn't too much of a man to cry when the SEC came for him. He only wished he'd calculated a Crazy-to-Brilliant Ratio before taking this stupid job.