[fic] Damyata
Prompt: Destiny
Title: Damyata
Fandom: X
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 for swears
Warnings: ...swearing, yeah. Oh, I suppose I could possibly warn against Yoshiki's overweening ambition, but that's kind of a given, right?
~*~*~
The door clicked shut, off to the left. He didn't look up. "These fra... gume...ntsu..." He tapped a pencil against his lip as he puzzled at the word, brow creasing. "Fragments. I have... shored..."
He heard a snort, and shot the man responsible a casual glare. "Would you mind?"
There was muffled grumbling. Only to be expected, he'd discovered over the last eight months.
The refrigerator in the corner opened. "What the fuck? No beer?"
"Pata was here most of the afternoon."
"Still... he knows the fucking rule. He's gonna buy double for making me sit here and wait without even a beer." The chair in the corner creaked unhappily as a body impacted it with pointed force.
"Only a little longer, I tell you. I'm on the footnotes."
A few minutes passed, with mumbles in occasionally syllabic English rising from one side of the room and muted grumbling about excessive blood in the alcohol stream from the other. He grimly ticked down the seconds until the hyperactivity would win out. 2... 1...
"Why are you reading that, anyway?" hide burst out, frustrated. "It's not gonna be useful for anything. You think you'll impress Sony by telling them about all the fucking poetry you read in English?"
He turned to glare resentfully, the look effective in spite of the fluffy blond bangs it was given through. "No. I don't think that. I just want to fucking improve myself, okay? Is that fucking okay with you?"
hide rolled his eyes, waving a hand around dismissively. "Sure, sure... waste your time," he mumbled under his breath. Before Yoshiki could get close enough to strangle him, he cleared his throat and added quickly, "You told me to talk to you about Toshi later. I'd like to get out of here before the bar closes for once, you know? So - talk."
Yoshiki winced. "Um. Yeah... about that..." The wind knocked from his sails, he looked away from hide's impatient stare, trying to think out how he ought to say this. Finally, he offered, "I, well... I can't seem to get him to understand who he needs to be."
hide blinked.
"Or actually... well, I suppose that it's..." His voice trailed off, and he sat there twisting a strand of long blond hair between his fingers.
"It's...?" prompted hide, visibly holding himself patient.
"I can't make him BE who I need him to be," he nodded to himself, and then looked up earnestly. "But I know he can do it! He just... won't. It is very frustrating." He chewed on the inside of his lip thoughtfully. "He's been a little slow to catch on sometimes - " hide snorted at that, bringing a hand to his mouth quickly to cover his laugh, "but not like this. It's almost like... he doesn't want to be a rock star," Yoshiki said, utterly mystified.
hide, wearing his very best poker face - which really wasn't very good - gave an almost solemn nod.
Yoshiki squinted at him, cocking his head to the side. He got nothing in return but wide brown eyes staring with determined innocence. Finally he gave up on trying to get more of a response and trudged onward. "The thing is that he knows that's always been our goal! So I just don't understand why he can't act like it now that we're finally getting there. It's fine for him to be dumb old Toshi around us, but in public... well. I just can't let him do that anymore," he said huffily. "So I need you to help me. He's not responding properly to me for some reason this time. But I've noticed that he listens to you almost as much as he listens to me, so I think if both of us went after him - "
"Your fucking trained dog would sit up and bark on command?" hide interjected abruptly. "You're... serious." He stared, then flopped over the low back of the chair, yanking one arm up to cover his eyes. Multicolored hair swung around on the floor as he shook his head. Slowly, his deep breaths turned into quiet, despairing chuckles, feet shooting up at odd angles below his haphazardly balanced body. "Ohhhhhhh... my... oh, Yoshiki..." He sat up slowly, still shaking his head as he slid back down into the chair. "What the fuck are we gonna do with you?"
"I don't understand," Yoshiki said stiffly.
"No..." he sighed, "I suppose you wouldn't," and shoved his head into his hands. He paused for a moment, then cast a neutral, almost dismissive look up at Yoshiki. "Don't even start on the whole 'What was that supposed to mean, hide, well if you have so much disrespect for me then you can just leave my band, blah blah-blah yappity yap--'" his voice rising in mocking imitation, he finally stopped with a snapping roll of his eyes and slumped back down, staring at the floor.
Yoshiki was silent, holding his temper by a thread. Finally, hide stood up and tugged at Yoshiki's arm, half-smiling resignedly. "Look. Let's just get out of here, okay? I need a fucking drink. You can tell me more about your latest hellborn scheme over a goddamned bottle of Crow."
~*~*~
It had gone well enough, Yoshiki mused, staring at his ceiling hours later. hide had finally agreed to act as Toshi's... rock star sheepdog, whenever he wasn't around. It had taken quite a bit of talking, and more than a few promises of good intent. But he had won through in the end, as always.
For someone who was only beginning to get to know them well, hide was certainly taking an active interest in Toshi's welfare. He twisted his mouth puzzledly. As if Toshi needed protection against him, of all people. Toshi was... well, he was his best friend. They went everywhere and did everything together, and knew each other like no one else ever could.
Certainly Toshi was sometimes a little more reluctant than he ought to be in agreeing with everything that Yoshiki felt necessary and right, but... he always came around soon enough. It was all in his own best interests, after all. He nodded firmly at the glowing crescent moon above his left eye. Focusing on it suddenly, mind wandering, he traced the squiggle of shooting stars that curved around the moon before heading for a somewhat crooked rendition of Orion.
Toshi had brought those as a gift when Yoshiki moved in to this place, the first time that either had begun living away from their family. "To help you stay determined in your-- our goal, even in your dreams," he'd said almost shyly, an odd little flush to his cheeks. Yoshiki had cheerfully fetched a ladder and they'd taken turns sticking up constellations and planets and random moons above where he planned to sleep until they were dizzy from tipping their heads up to the "sky" for so long, admiring their work together, arms slung over each other's shoulders for balance and affection.
He smiled wistfully at the memory. They hadn't had that joy in each other's company for far too long now. Nearly four years had gone since he'd moved in, but he had spent fewer than a third of those nights sleeping beneath Toshi's silly stars. They'd been going through a virtual parade of band members, an endless push to play in any and every place that would take them, an ever-growing disparity between how Yoshiki felt that Toshi should be growing into his designated role and what Toshi was actually doing... he had given him plenty of cues, more than enough time to develop in each phase as Yoshiki's voice. But somehow... Toshi simply remained...
Impenetrably and relentlessly ordinary.
They had to get cracking on that, or he could see his entire dream going up in smoke.
Ha, up in smoke, yes. Right next to Toshi's old car that'd finally given up on them for the final time last week, eleven kilometres out of Yokohama. He groaned, lifting a hand to smack himself lightly in the forehead for forgetting to ask around at the bar tonight, and likewise forgetting to remind hide to ask whatever friends he might have up here so far. They needed to find another vehicle immediately, somewhere, somehow.
Well, he knew enough people and was a fast enough talker that they should have at least another dying beater by this weekend, when they were due to play some shitty little bar in Kamakura. Not that it mattered how shitty each place was. What mattered was that they played every single one that they could talk their way into, and used their contacts from those to find more, and gained as much of an audience as possible in every corner of Japan that they could reach. This was the way. This was how they would get to the top, and soon - no matter WHAT happened with that Sony audition.
He felt queasy for a moment, thinking of it. And then shut it away from his mind and began reforming his step-by-step plan to turn Toshi once and for all into the sort of rock god of which legends were made.
~*~*~
All right... there's a few clear inaccuracies here... *sighs* Although I did try my best. I wrote this a few months ago, and kept forgetting to post it. :-P
Title: Damyata
Fandom: X
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 for swears
Warnings: ...swearing, yeah. Oh, I suppose I could possibly warn against Yoshiki's overweening ambition, but that's kind of a given, right?
~*~*~
The door clicked shut, off to the left. He didn't look up. "These fra... gume...ntsu..." He tapped a pencil against his lip as he puzzled at the word, brow creasing. "Fragments. I have... shored..."
He heard a snort, and shot the man responsible a casual glare. "Would you mind?"
There was muffled grumbling. Only to be expected, he'd discovered over the last eight months.
The refrigerator in the corner opened. "What the fuck? No beer?"
"Pata was here most of the afternoon."
"Still... he knows the fucking rule. He's gonna buy double for making me sit here and wait without even a beer." The chair in the corner creaked unhappily as a body impacted it with pointed force.
"Only a little longer, I tell you. I'm on the footnotes."
A few minutes passed, with mumbles in occasionally syllabic English rising from one side of the room and muted grumbling about excessive blood in the alcohol stream from the other. He grimly ticked down the seconds until the hyperactivity would win out. 2... 1...
"Why are you reading that, anyway?" hide burst out, frustrated. "It's not gonna be useful for anything. You think you'll impress Sony by telling them about all the fucking poetry you read in English?"
He turned to glare resentfully, the look effective in spite of the fluffy blond bangs it was given through. "No. I don't think that. I just want to fucking improve myself, okay? Is that fucking okay with you?"
hide rolled his eyes, waving a hand around dismissively. "Sure, sure... waste your time," he mumbled under his breath. Before Yoshiki could get close enough to strangle him, he cleared his throat and added quickly, "You told me to talk to you about Toshi later. I'd like to get out of here before the bar closes for once, you know? So - talk."
Yoshiki winced. "Um. Yeah... about that..." The wind knocked from his sails, he looked away from hide's impatient stare, trying to think out how he ought to say this. Finally, he offered, "I, well... I can't seem to get him to understand who he needs to be."
hide blinked.
"Or actually... well, I suppose that it's..." His voice trailed off, and he sat there twisting a strand of long blond hair between his fingers.
"It's...?" prompted hide, visibly holding himself patient.
"I can't make him BE who I need him to be," he nodded to himself, and then looked up earnestly. "But I know he can do it! He just... won't. It is very frustrating." He chewed on the inside of his lip thoughtfully. "He's been a little slow to catch on sometimes - " hide snorted at that, bringing a hand to his mouth quickly to cover his laugh, "but not like this. It's almost like... he doesn't want to be a rock star," Yoshiki said, utterly mystified.
hide, wearing his very best poker face - which really wasn't very good - gave an almost solemn nod.
Yoshiki squinted at him, cocking his head to the side. He got nothing in return but wide brown eyes staring with determined innocence. Finally he gave up on trying to get more of a response and trudged onward. "The thing is that he knows that's always been our goal! So I just don't understand why he can't act like it now that we're finally getting there. It's fine for him to be dumb old Toshi around us, but in public... well. I just can't let him do that anymore," he said huffily. "So I need you to help me. He's not responding properly to me for some reason this time. But I've noticed that he listens to you almost as much as he listens to me, so I think if both of us went after him - "
"Your fucking trained dog would sit up and bark on command?" hide interjected abruptly. "You're... serious." He stared, then flopped over the low back of the chair, yanking one arm up to cover his eyes. Multicolored hair swung around on the floor as he shook his head. Slowly, his deep breaths turned into quiet, despairing chuckles, feet shooting up at odd angles below his haphazardly balanced body. "Ohhhhhhh... my... oh, Yoshiki..." He sat up slowly, still shaking his head as he slid back down into the chair. "What the fuck are we gonna do with you?"
"I don't understand," Yoshiki said stiffly.
"No..." he sighed, "I suppose you wouldn't," and shoved his head into his hands. He paused for a moment, then cast a neutral, almost dismissive look up at Yoshiki. "Don't even start on the whole 'What was that supposed to mean, hide, well if you have so much disrespect for me then you can just leave my band, blah blah-blah yappity yap--'" his voice rising in mocking imitation, he finally stopped with a snapping roll of his eyes and slumped back down, staring at the floor.
Yoshiki was silent, holding his temper by a thread. Finally, hide stood up and tugged at Yoshiki's arm, half-smiling resignedly. "Look. Let's just get out of here, okay? I need a fucking drink. You can tell me more about your latest hellborn scheme over a goddamned bottle of Crow."
~*~*~
It had gone well enough, Yoshiki mused, staring at his ceiling hours later. hide had finally agreed to act as Toshi's... rock star sheepdog, whenever he wasn't around. It had taken quite a bit of talking, and more than a few promises of good intent. But he had won through in the end, as always.
For someone who was only beginning to get to know them well, hide was certainly taking an active interest in Toshi's welfare. He twisted his mouth puzzledly. As if Toshi needed protection against him, of all people. Toshi was... well, he was his best friend. They went everywhere and did everything together, and knew each other like no one else ever could.
Certainly Toshi was sometimes a little more reluctant than he ought to be in agreeing with everything that Yoshiki felt necessary and right, but... he always came around soon enough. It was all in his own best interests, after all. He nodded firmly at the glowing crescent moon above his left eye. Focusing on it suddenly, mind wandering, he traced the squiggle of shooting stars that curved around the moon before heading for a somewhat crooked rendition of Orion.
Toshi had brought those as a gift when Yoshiki moved in to this place, the first time that either had begun living away from their family. "To help you stay determined in your-- our goal, even in your dreams," he'd said almost shyly, an odd little flush to his cheeks. Yoshiki had cheerfully fetched a ladder and they'd taken turns sticking up constellations and planets and random moons above where he planned to sleep until they were dizzy from tipping their heads up to the "sky" for so long, admiring their work together, arms slung over each other's shoulders for balance and affection.
He smiled wistfully at the memory. They hadn't had that joy in each other's company for far too long now. Nearly four years had gone since he'd moved in, but he had spent fewer than a third of those nights sleeping beneath Toshi's silly stars. They'd been going through a virtual parade of band members, an endless push to play in any and every place that would take them, an ever-growing disparity between how Yoshiki felt that Toshi should be growing into his designated role and what Toshi was actually doing... he had given him plenty of cues, more than enough time to develop in each phase as Yoshiki's voice. But somehow... Toshi simply remained...
Impenetrably and relentlessly ordinary.
They had to get cracking on that, or he could see his entire dream going up in smoke.
Ha, up in smoke, yes. Right next to Toshi's old car that'd finally given up on them for the final time last week, eleven kilometres out of Yokohama. He groaned, lifting a hand to smack himself lightly in the forehead for forgetting to ask around at the bar tonight, and likewise forgetting to remind hide to ask whatever friends he might have up here so far. They needed to find another vehicle immediately, somewhere, somehow.
Well, he knew enough people and was a fast enough talker that they should have at least another dying beater by this weekend, when they were due to play some shitty little bar in Kamakura. Not that it mattered how shitty each place was. What mattered was that they played every single one that they could talk their way into, and used their contacts from those to find more, and gained as much of an audience as possible in every corner of Japan that they could reach. This was the way. This was how they would get to the top, and soon - no matter WHAT happened with that Sony audition.
He felt queasy for a moment, thinking of it. And then shut it away from his mind and began reforming his step-by-step plan to turn Toshi once and for all into the sort of rock god of which legends were made.
~*~*~
All right... there's a few clear inaccuracies here... *sighs* Although I did try my best. I wrote this a few months ago, and kept forgetting to post it. :-P