Meme!

[daegaer]

From odditycollector:

Tell me about a story I never wrote, (eg, "The one where Aziraphale is a 1930s Chicago mobster") and I'll write you a snippet from it.

If I'm not familiar with the fandom/characters you request, I'll ask you to prompt again!

Comments

[odditycollector]

Oh man, that one where Crowley is exorcised from his own body? I was laughing for AGES.

[daegaer]

There were advantages to his current state of embarrassment, Crowley grimly told himself. Being disembodied was more traditional, and Hell liked tradition. He could creep into people's souls and bedrooms, and whisper terrible things into their ears. Not that he ever actually did. People were often up to the most mortifying activities in their bedrooms, which only the most prurient demon would want to actually observe. Even the ones who were blamelessly sleeping tended to snore or punctuate his temptations with sleepy farts.

Actually, Crowley mused. I hate this blessed ethereal malarky.

[odditycollector]

:D :D

[teh_elb]

The one where Crowley met St. Patrick!

[daegaer]

It was with a certain glee that Crowley came across the Welsh slave shivering on the hillside, glumly watching his master's flocks.

"Chin up," Crowley sniggered. "I'm sure your faith is a great comfort to you in these circumstances." He sniggered some more at the look he got. "Maybe if you attended some of Niall's druids' religious ceremonies you'd get to sleep indoors more often," he said helpfully.

"Maybe I'll just run away," the young man said, in a posher accent than Crowley had expected.

"Stealing your master's property? That's not very Christian!" Crowley yelled after him as he ran down the hill.

"I'll be back!" the young man yelled, and kept running.

"Yeah, yeah," Crowley sneered. "Sure you will."

[teh_elb]

Eeee, I love it! I am so glad that theology is irrelevant; it all comes down to Crowley being a dick. XD

[lady_ganesh]

It really does.

[puddingcat]

Oh, boy - that one where Sweden and Denmark set out to prove to everyone that Vikings are far better than pirates or ninjas!

(Also, the one where the other nations found out about Rosenkreuz? Inspired.)

[daegaer]

"Pirates or ninjas?" England slurred, propping himself up against Denmark's chest. "You've gotta choose."

"For plunderin' me booty or for sneaking into my bed?" Denmark said, sitting him back on his barstool.

"Just which is better," England said. "S'obviously pirates. Pirates wear lace an' an' swash buckles, an' plunder the Spanish Main!" he yelled over at Spain, who flipped him off and went back to trying to dance with Romano. "Pirates have better legs too," England said, and rolled up his trouser leg. "Lookit that! Ever seen a leg like that?"

"Not for a while," Denmark said truthfully.

"Much better'n ninjas!"

"In defence of ninjas," Japan said politely, "I should point out that they are not known for making such an embarrassing spectacle while publicly inebriated."

"Vik'ngs are bett'r n'both of 'em," Sweden said, watching Denmark try to stop England going for Japan with a broken bottle.

"Hah!" England yelled. "Horned fucking helmets! Oooh, so scary!"

"We never wore horned helmets," Denmark said. "And we scared you plenty

[puddingcat]

Coke. Down. Nose.

bork bork bork

[not_hathor]

Wheeeee! Vikings!!!!! let's hear it for the Swedish Engineering!!!!

[amylee3000]

The one where Schuldig discovers Crawford is actually a lot more psychopathic than him.

[puddingcat]

Man, that was awesome.

[daegaer]

The news reporters were calling it monstrous and tragic, while the right-wing tabloids screamed it had to be the work of a foreigner, and called for the internment of any foreign man resident in the area. It was on all the channels, a continuing stream of breaking news that recycled the same brief footage and had interview after interview with local residents, with psychologists, with the police, over and over and over. Crawford came in to the living room to find Schuldig channel-hopping in vain hope of finding a cartoon somewhere. The images started up again, and Crawford clicked his tongue in irritation as the reporter solemnly discussed the mutilations, the callous dumping of the young womens' bodies

[puddingcat]

...And Schuldig will always hope Brad's really just screwing with him, but know he really, *really* isn't.

See, I *said* it was awesome :)

[_silverfox]

My old favourite (because the plot hedgehog still won't stop stinging) Regency Crowley.

[daegaer]

Any man who could spend hours tying and retying a cravat so that it sat just so and thereby made lesser men weep was a man who had clearly long since perfected the sin of vanity to an extent that he had not only graduated from university with a degree of Bachelor of Arts (Vanitas), but had gone on to achieve several higher degrees in the subject as well. He didn't really need the personal attendance of a demon to make sure he was skipping down the primrose path, and yet Crowley found himself drawn back, day after day. It wasn't just that he so rarely met a human who could give Aziraphale a run for his money in the area of over the top bitchiness, but Brummell was funny and subject to odd flights of off-hand kindness. Crowley was somewhat disturbed to realise that he simply liked him.

[teh_elb]

<33333!

[holyschist]

<3