One of the things I've always appreciated about you is your ability to look at various sides of an issue, and recognize how something that might not fit you (or your situation) exactly can still be viable for someone else.
There are so many people who look at this issue and see right and wrong. Right=living with your partner, and wrong=not doing that. I wish I had a dime for every conversation I've been in with someone - male or female - about this topic who got mad at me when I asked them, why are you getting so wired about this? I'm happy for you to do whatever you need to make yourself happy...and I'm equally as happy for me to do the same.
Those are generally some of the same people who will agree with someone like me, when we say in the beginning of a relationship that we do not want to marry or live together, and then later start whining about it.
It also makes them real pissy when I remind them of the specific conversation and tell them my living arrangements do not require a favorable vote from them.
I don't think I can form an opinion worth standing behind unless I've honestly examined and considered both sides of an issue before coming to my personal conclusion.
I could write a post on that idea alone. I believe it's the bedrock foundation of being an independent.
The person feeling rejection because their partner needs alone time has to learn the relationship is not about them. We're individuals before we become partners. My relationship could not work for me if I lost my identity by focusing totally on the partnership.
I was me before we were we.
.... if that mekes sense.
I understand your feelings on the village. It's good for the kids to have an extended family .... related or not.
I liked your post and agree with most of it. What I appreciate the most is your acknowledgement: I believe some men need a maid as much as they need a lover. On the other hand, there are plenty of women who need a handyman or a second breadwinner to make their lives more comfortable. So, when these people find someone they find compatible, or maybe love, they naturally gravitate towards the next step, living together or marriage. I believe they should be taken in that order.
Though you talked about both male and female, I do so appreciate the acknowledgement. I don't see it a lot from men.
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There are so many people who look at this issue and see right and wrong. Right=living with your partner, and wrong=not doing that. I wish I had a dime for every conversation I've been in with someone - male or female - about this topic who got mad at me when I asked them, why are you getting so wired about this? I'm happy for you to do whatever you need to make yourself happy...and I'm equally as happy for me to do the same.
Those are generally some of the same people who will agree with someone like me, when we say in the beginning of a relationship that we do not want to marry or live together, and then later start whining about it.
It also makes them real pissy when I remind them of the specific conversation and tell them my living arrangements do not require a favorable vote from them.
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I don't think I can form an opinion worth standing behind unless I've honestly examined and considered both sides of an issue before coming to my personal conclusion.
I could write a post on that idea alone. I believe it's the bedrock foundation of being an independent.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
I was me before we were we.
.... if that mekes sense.
I understand your feelings on the village. It's good for the kids to have an extended family .... related or not.
Reply
Reply
Though you talked about both male and female, I do so appreciate the acknowledgement. I don't see it a lot from men.
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