five weeks off work and ive managed to sort at least some of my shit out ( Read more... )

it's wet, it's dark, i smell of damp cloth, beer, fags and last nights curry, beautiful picture im conjuring up (last night was boy's night, drinking, gambling and profanity)..... i dont do it often as im too busy wasting my time on other people, i forgot what its like to hang out with your old mates and have a laugh, without forcing something or ( Read more... )

last night...i had a beautiful dream, of a film, of a life. It was shot in those lights and moods and frames that you can only really see, when your with the one you love. It was full of those actions and colours, flavours, the flavour of love, you remember dont you?...when it was all liquid and bright, nothing could go wrong, because it was all ( Read more... )

...although i still sleep alone at night your with me in dreams, its hard waking to find you not there beside me, i reach but my hand is empty, but knowing that your still out there somehow makes me feel better, things already seem more vivid, the colours are brighter, the flavour is coming back...

you know where to find me.XXX

this whole thing is moronic.

today ( Read more... )

TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE OFFERED THEIR SUPPORT RECENTLY, THANKYOU SO VERY MUCH. FRIENDS LIKE YOU ARE HARD WON ALLIES.

i must have been hitler in a previous life, im paying for it now.....

im not in good shape and admitting this is long overdue. i need help and i need to get clean, damn i hate this, its so hard to except, its like diesese and plane crashes, it happens to other people, addiction is so consuming, i never really saw it happening. my head is in pieces, always striving for clarity. need to get back on track, its been to