FIC: noone loved him more by more (Firefly, Simon/River, R-NC17)

[d_generate_girl]

Oh God. I really am riding shotgun in the Corvette to the Special Hell. I wrote Crazy Space Incest! Smutty CSI at that! Never mind all the J/I that I've also written. It's official. I'm doomed.

Title: noone loved him more by more
Author: Drea (bluerosefairyRating: R, bordering on NC-17. This is Crazy Space Incest we’re talking about. You have been warned

Comments

[carla_scribbles]

I'm not sure how much more Special-Hell-worthy this is than "Carol of the Bells," but yeah, one way or another...
In other words: oh, Drea, wow. If (and I say this way too much, but it's TRUE) I tried to pick a favorite line, I'd wind up cut-and-pasting the whole fic, but these:
not like Inara, who had already left to steer her own rudderless ship, and didn’t know she’d left them to crash.

Ten fingers, ten half-moon star sun 160 degree angles, each 0.2 mm deep. They’ll be redandpurple and sting a bit, come morning. They always are. Her hips will sting, her body will ache (goodache and badache), and her heart/brain will try and remember every single second of this joining.

actually made me gasp. (I have a bit of a fingernail-kink -- comes from being unable to stop biting mine, I think.)
And I SERIOUSLY need a Firefly icon. Where'd you get yours?

[d_generate_girl]

*tackles and hugs Carla* Yeay, feedback!

Hah, I keep forgetting that the Crowe House gang has been there for the fest-o-blasphemy that is "Carol of the Bells". I forget just how badwrong that story is, what with the incesty altar sex.

That fingernail description came to me absolutely out of the blue. I was walking on campus along 12th Street from my Intro to Lit class to meet a few people for lunch, and I randomly thought "Simon's nails form crescent-moons on River - wonder how deep you can dig your nails into something without bleeding?" 0.2 mm was the figure I got from somewhere online.

This icon? *preens* Made it myself, from a base from saevva. I suggest checking the_cortex for icon posts. They have at least one up every day. Just comment to the artist for whichever you're snagging.

[spikeyboots]

Wow. Very intense, and a good grasp of River's pov. I love the intro with the e.e.cummings poem - sets up the whole thing beautifully! V. special hell worthy - brilliant!

[d_generate_girl]

Ooh, thank you! I'm glad you liked my River POV, as well as the cummings poem. It's definitely one of my favorites - the other being "Buffalo Bill".

[expastic]

GUH!

This? Is spot on brilliant.

[d_generate_girl]

Eee, incoherancy!

Thank you so very much - you're too sweet.

[rowforshore]

Okay, so every word that pops out of your fingers tends to make my jaw unhinge, but this CSI, so now I've got the disconnected mandibles of a snake. And oh, it is CSI, the very essence of them. In my mind, nothing surpasses your Mal-voice, but your River-voice comes oh-so-damn-close. You've got the rhythm of her down. River is rhythm, is dance and disjointed drumbeats that still somehow pound out song. She speaks in jerks that catch on certain sounds and syllables, and she and Simon suit each other so because she's a broken record he can dance to owing to his own two left feet. Lines like these--

Brain all sticky and stuttery like his words and she doesn’t remember what they’ve taught her.

Turning, turning, turning through the years . . .

Ten fingers, ten half-moon star sun 160 degree angles, each 0.2 mm deep. They’ll be redandpurple and sting a bit, come morning.--are bottled River (hee, pun), evocative of her prodigial nature (which came first, the child or the adult?), the sensual science so key to her character. You've just got

[d_generate_girl]

Okay, so every word that pops out of your fingers tends to make my jaw unhinge

Well, that can't be very healthy. *picks jaw up*

In my mind, nothing surpasses your Mal-voice, but your River-voice comes oh-so-damn-close.

Guh, you are so unbearably awesome to say that. River's voice is like Iris' - it just flows. Mal's is like Justin's - I have to work at it. And Zoe's is a blend of the two. I think I'm noticing a trend.

and she and Simon suit each other so because she's a broken record he can dance to owing to his own two left feet.

I wish I had your gift for summing up characters so beautifully. Your J/I analogy to the Gordian Knot, and now this. Guh.

And the last big paragraph is so sweet in all its whispery desperation. I mean, just, gah, girl, perfect.

*hugs* I love your feedback, Vorona. You give it so well, and always manage to make me finish it with a big stupid grin on my face (kind of like Mal's "stupid face").

[me_fein]

This is mind-numbingly good. Whoa.

I love the flow of it and how you meld the random bits together and meander all over the place only to return to the original thought.

Fantastic job. Twisted, but fantastic. :D

[d_generate_girl]

*kicks LJ and its comment-withholding*

Oh, thank you so much. I'm so glad that you liked the rambly, meandering-ness of it. It's just the way River sounds to me.

Twisted, but fantastic

Hah! Best. Feedback. Ever!