Fic: The Oncoming Storm (Slash, AU, Janto 34/40 Act 7/8)
Author: d8rkmessngr
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/?, Jack/Ianto eventually, het and slash
Rating: NC-17 (betaed)
Summary: He left Jack on the game station. Abandoned. But then…he came back…different. An AU look on what happens if things happened differently. Doctor Who 'verse with Torchwood later on. Be sure to read the warnings.
Warnings: Please read each chapter's individual warnings. Some parts down the road may briefly mention non-con, abuse, and/or violence. Dark in the beginning. Please note there are some dark thoughts as my boys are broken…for now. Each chapter will be labeled for your convenience.
Author's Notes: Please note this is an AU that will cross over DW to TW season one. I'm probably spoiling my own story, but it will eventually be Janto. There's a bit of a journey first. I hope you enjoy. I'm working on this and intend to post regularly every other day. And again, I always believe in happy endings. So without further ado…
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Warning For This Chapter: violence, strong language, dark themes
Notes For This Chapter: Note there are parallels to TW's "End of Days" and mentions BBC's Captain's Blog, entry 13.
Prologue + Ch , Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18. Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28, Ch 29, Ch 30, Ch 31, Ch 32, Ch 33, Ch 34 Act 1/8 Part 1, Ch 34 Act 1/8 Part 2, Ch 34 Act 2/8, Ch 34 Act 3/8, Ch 34 Act 4/8 Ch 34 Act 5/8
href="http://d8rkmessngr.livejournal.com/30865.html">Ch 34 Act 6/8
Master Fic List: here
Chapter 34 "End of Days"
Act VII: "The right kind of doctor."
It had been two days.
Ianto paused by the archway leading to the morgue. He hated the fact Jack was there, hated the fact they couldn't keep him at Autopsy-not that the name made it any better-and hated the fact Gwen Cooper, short of breaks and getting something to eat, had not left Jack's side.
"She feels guilty," Tosh murmured from behind.
"And we don't?" Ianto returned bitterly. He felt Toshiko flinch. "Sorry, I-"
"I know." Tosh slipped her arm around his arm and gave it a hug. "How are you, Ianto?"
Ianto sighed and backed away from the morgue. "You wouldn't believe me if I said I was fine."
"No." Tosh led him away from the morgue. "It's not good to be here." Toshiko made a loud sigh. "I haven't been in there since…"
"He's coming back, Tosh," Ianto told her. "He …like Gwen said, Jack can't die."
Toshiko stared up at him. Then, without warning, she wrapped her arms around Ianto's arms and body and gave him a hug.
"Of course, Ianto," Tosh said softly. She gently steered him towards her repaired workstation. "Now come. Help me fix the mass spectral scanner."
Day Three…
"How long is she going to do this?" Owen rasped. He wanted to kick something.
They all stared at the CCTV. Gwen was trying to warm Jack up, rubbing his exposed limbs briskly.
"Gwen feels he'll come back," Tosh spoke up. She stared at the screen, her arms folded across her chest.
Owen just grunted. He'd checked Jack's vitals every other hour. There was no change in vitals, brain activity, or even body temperature. It never went up. Never went down either.
"Jack will," Ianto whispered but Owen thought he heard his voice quaver this time.
Owen winced. He stared hard at the screen, as the blue hued Gwen sat back down on the stool.
"He better," Owen muttered, but he closed his eyes when Gwen pleaded "Jack" one more time.
Toshiko glanced back up again towards Jack's office. Ianto had gone in, saying he needed to straighten up in there. That was thirty minutes ago. She chewed her lower lip and tapped on her keyboard as if it could speed up the defragging. It, of course, wouldn't.
The morgue was to her right, Jack's office to her left.
Gwen, for whatever reason she wouldn't share, thought she alone was fully to blame for their downfall, for them turning against Jack. Toshiko wished it were true. It would be easier to think she had no part in putting Jack in drawer seven.
It was lonely here. Owen was off somewhere again making repairs, checking on hospitals, verifying that everything was alright, everything was back to normal. He would come back later, stop by the morgue and stare. What he saw, he never said and Tosh never turned on the impassive CCTV again to see for herself. Owen would then shake his head and return to Autopsy.
If his eyes were a little red when he returned, neither one of them said anything to each other. That's just Owen's way.
Toshiko sniffed.
It was during times like these, buried in machine parts and monitors that churned out excessive numbers, when she missed Jack the most. He popped up in the oddest times about some reading or another that needed checking. He even let her drive and shared with her a knowing grin each time Owen complained he needed to readjust the driver seat.
Another sniff.
God, how could she have been so stupid? Rift temporal energies used as visual delusions had been done before. Rift energy could easily be manipulated into hallucinations, time bubbles, portals, dimensional breaches, incendiary-
Toshiko scowled at herself and stepped back from her workstation. She half-expected Jack to appear and cheerfully drag her outside to check on a random rift activity. And if they happened to pass by his favorite coffee shop Chambers, well, that's just good fortune, isn't it?
When Jack's booming voice didn't echo in the Hub, her eyes blurred.
Suddenly, standing here alone, waiting for Owen to return or for another damn computer to fall apart was simply unbearable. She headed for Jack's office.
The morgue was never an option.
Ianto sat on Jack's chair, Jack's greatcoat on his lap, staring at something under the desk blotter he had lifted up. Ianto was looking a little teary eyed.
Whereas Owen would deny it, Ianto simply sniffed and gave her an apologetic shrug and a watery smile.
"I uh…" Ianto gestured to the pile of blue wool on his lap. "I was sorting out his desk, brushing out his coat and…" Ianto sucked in his breath, shook his head and didn't finish.
Tosh made her way around Jack's desk. She blinked at the little yellow squares peeking out from under the desk blotter. Post-its, Tosh realized. They papered the desk, squares of golden tiles.
"I can't believe he kept them," Ianto choked. He lifted away the blotter completely to reveal them all. "Every last one of them."
They were lined up carefully, each flattened and placed flushed with each other. They fit under the blotter, hidden from view. Tosh was afraid to touch them.
When Ianto stroked one with a finger, she tentatively plucked the outermost one.
It was a toss-up between crying and chuckling, so Tosh chose the less painful of the two. A giggle, partially garbled with her runny nose, broke free at the crude stick figure drawing and the Zs trailing on top. Despite the rudimentary drawing though, Tosh recognized the concise lettering. She looked at Ianto questioning.
"I failed art," Ianto croaked. He tried for a smile but failed and his face scrunched up as if he was trying again.
Tosh blinked and carefully set it down and watched Ianto set the blotter on the desk, precisely, like the top of a glass box.
"You knew about Jack," Tosh said quietly, a little hurt. "Was it like Gwen? With Suzie?" She watched Ianto stroke the greatcoat like a pet.
Ianto looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he slowly nodded.
"Yes, but I knew him longer than that though," he rasped. "I met him in London." Ianto fiddled with the collar, ironing it flat with his fingers.
"Oh." Tosh lowered her head.
"He didn't know how you would have reacted," Ianto lifted up his eyes towards her. "If we weren't there, I doubt he would have ever-"
"It's okay, Ianto," Tosh interrupted. What did it matter anymore? "It's fine."
Ianto nodded to himself and stared at the blotter.
Tosh sat down on the floor; Ianto's knees reached her head. He said nothing as she laid her head on top of the greatcoat. Her eyes burned. It smelled like Jack.
"How are you, Ianto?" Tosh asked again because she suspected no one ever asked except Jack.
"Not good," Ianto rasped. "Not good at all."
Tosh wiped a tear before it could mar Jack's coat.
"What are we going to do, Ianto?" Tosh asked, almost whimpering and hating herself for it. It didn't feel odd to ask the younger man. He was the only one right now who would listen and answer her.
"I don't know," Ianto whispered.
Tosh wished she had never asked at all.
Day Four…
Ianto stood by drawer nine, taking over Tosh's spot in the shadows. He stared at Jack on the pulled out platform. The gown, the colorless skin, the stillness that was never Jack Harkness bore too many other memories for him. He stirred uneasily.
"How many days has it been?" Gwen's voice was raspy and wispy. She looked haggard when she raised her head.
"Four," Ianto told her quietly.
Gwen gave an odd laugh. "Tosh thinks I should let him go."
Gwen blurred before him. Ianto pinched between his eyes and said nothing.
"I thought…I thought he would have come back by now," Gwen admitted. "I didn't want to think Jack was the cost of…" She lowered her gaze and absently fiddled with the zipper of the body bag. Nylon crinkled.
Ianto closed his eyes. He folded his arms in front of him and took slow, steady breaths.
"You and Jack."
Ianto's eyes flew open. Gwen stared at him wearily.
Gwen smiled, tried. It turned out to be a grimace.
"Copper's instinct," she explained. Her brow knitted. "But you were with Lisa. I-"
"I'm not gay," Ianto told her. His throat tightened when he gazed at Jack's face and hated the fact Jack looked so peaceful and Ianto couldn't be happy for him. "It was…" Ianto laughed shortly at himself.
"It was just Jack." Ianto shook his head. He bit his lower lip. At Gwen's cocked head, Ianto laughed again, this time bitterly.
"It took me months to figure that out. I-I was never gay. I…It was just Jack. Always had been." God, he could cry. Ianto's shoulders shook.
"Jack has this way," Gwen offered, her mouth crinkled.
"He does…did-God." Ianto made a fist as if to strike one of the doors, then remembered.
Gwen sniffed. "He's really not coming back, is he?"
Why were they asking him? Ianto wanted to scream to Gwen. Why him?
Ianto approached and hesitantly settled a hand over Jack's right arm. He choked. So cold. Ianto didn't care what Gwen thought, Ianto bent down and kissed each closed eye because he couldn't swallow the thought of kissing Jack and not taste him in there. It would be too much.
"I'm sorry, cariad," he whispered to his ear. Ianto screwed up his face, willed the tears back and pulled away.
Gwen had no such qualms. She dipped her head and touched Jack's lips briefly, parting with a smack. She looked at Ianto. Then she reached out a hand, took Ianto's and they both started walking away. As they got further away from the wall of drawers, Gwen squeezed the hand she held. Ianto sniffed.
Someone sighed.
Ianto felt Gwen stiffen before he heard it again: a barely audible exhale.
They both twisted around and bolted back towards the platform.
At first, Jack looked like he did before: pale, marble white skin, his hair in spikes, his eyes shut. Ianto feared they were mistaken, that they had deluded themselves.
But the moment Gwen touched his left arm and Ianto his right, Jack's eyes opened half-mast.
Gwen gasped.
Ianto bit back a sob and whispered, "Jack." When pale blue eyes glanced over, Ianto smiled tightly.
"Welcome back," Gwen managed out. She held back her hair and leaned in closer so Jack could see her. "Took you long enough you cheeky bastard," her voice broke.
Jack gave a breathless chuckle. He made a feeble gesture to sit up.
She helped Ianto pull Jack up, grunting when Jack fell forward.
"Easy," Ianto murmured as he maneuvered to sit next to Jack, his arms snaking across Jack's shoulders.
Jack stared at him strangely.
"What?" Ianto was unnerved by the intent look.
Jack shook his head wearily, breaking eye contact. Then, he shivered.
"His clothes," Ianto whispered to Gwen.
Gwen nodded, stared at Jack as if she couldn't believe it still and reluctantly slipped away.
Jack's eyes tracked Ianto the whole time they were talking. He was strangely quiet and moved like an old man, his arms awkwardly around himself as he tried to get warm.
Ianto wordlessly took off his jacket and slipped it around Jack's shoulders.
As soon as the material still warm from Ianto's body heat draped over him, Jack made a sound. His entire body shook so hard, Jack nearly fell off the slab.
Ianto's eyes stung as he wrapped his arms around Jack to keep the jacket on him and Jack flinched. He could hear Jack's teeth chattering violently.
"She's coming back with your clothes," Ianto murmured low to Jack's ear.
Another pained sound and Jack twisted, curling into himself away from Ianto.
"Jack," Ianto choked. "I…"
Jack grunted softly and shook his head carefully. He sat facing the wall of drawers, arms straight down on the slab.
No, Jack was right; they should talk later. "Over here." Ianto shushed Jack's pained mutterings as he pulled Jack around. "We need to get you warmed up."
Jack felt stiff, coiled in his embrace. Head bowed, hands pressed to his chest, Jack shivered within Ianto's arms and said nothing.
"Here," Gwen announced, a bundle of a shirt and trousers under her arm. She peered anxiously up at Jack. "How is he?"
"He's fi'e," Jack rasped all of the sudden. He ignored their sobbed laughter, his eyes on the folded clothing Gwen carried.
It was awkward trying to dress Jack. He kept trying to help before he finally gave up when he kept missing a sleeve.
Gwen helped Jack with his shirt. It was almost comical to watch Gwen trying not to look when Jack stood swaying, his hand on Gwen's shoulder for support, Ianto pulling up his trousers. Jack suffered through it all, his shivering easing.
"'o who und'essed me be'ore?" Jack asked hoarsely as he struggled to pull the braces over his shoulders. He grinned weakly at them both. Gwen sputtered.
Ianto flushed from where he was by Jack's feet, tying his boots. Gwen had the foresight to get warmer socks from his dresser. He could feel the minute trembling through the trousers when he cupped the back of Jack's calf to pull up his socks. He looked up, a quick reply ready on his lips. It died through when he saw the maelstrom of emotions that darkened Jack's eyes.
When Jack realized he was caught, that grin faltered and Jack averted his gaze.
Ianto ducked his head and swallowed. Something hot pricked at the corner of his eye.
"Jack," Gwen cracked. "What I did…"
"Don't," Jack warned, his voice growing stronger. "It's done."
"If I hadn't-"
"It's done," Jack hissed. Gwen recoiled but stepped back closer when Jack staggered back against the pulled out platform. Jack's hand shot up, halting them both.
"It's over," Jack rasped. He didn't look at either one of them. Jack took a deep breath, then another, steadying himself. He nodded curtly and straightened.
Gwen looked relieved as Jack took a faltering step out of the morgue. Ianto offered a shaky smile at her shining face but he couldn't push the ill feeling in his stomach away as he watched Jack's steps firmer and stronger as he distanced himself away.
He wanted to scream, cry, rage when he felt himself walking up. A voice beckoned him. Something warm in the cold dark crooked a finger towards him.
No, Jack, told it. I'm staying here.
Another bit of warmth, sparks that shone bright in this nothingness, cooed.
But it'll hurt, Jack had whimpered to whatever it was that tugged and cajoled at him.
Invisible hands caressed his cheek, his hair, hushing him, smoothed away the tremors. Jack thought he heard Rose sing and he cried dry-eyed in the dark.
"…iad…"
It wasn't fair. He…he just wanted to rest. He wanted it to stop. He…he wanted to feel nothing. He should feel nothing in here.
Reluctantly, Jack found himself drifting towards the pinpoint of life until the light broadened and agony danced throughout his body with icy fire.
His first breath was a sob. He felt deceived into coming back.
Jack hobbled painfully out to the main Hub. His vision still foggy, he didn't quite make out the fast-moving blur until it flung itself at him. Automatically, his arms went up when Toshiko Sato threw herself at him.
Toshiko cried, really cried, as she pressed her face to his chest. Jack caught hiccups of apology, hiccups of Japanese, as Toshiko hugged him.
Jack patted her shoulder. It felt like it should be the proper response. It was. Toshiko held tighter and her tears dried to runny nose and sniffles. Toshiko pulled away, laughing nervously at herself. Gwen responded with her own watery chuckle.
Jack simply smiled again. Maybe when the lingering cold left his body, Jack could bring himself to laugh too.
Steps on metal halted and something heavy dropped. Toshiko glanced over her shoulder and paused. She touched Jack briefly on his arm and moved away.
They met halfway on the ramp. Owen stared up at Jack in a mixture of disbelief and relief.
"I…" Owen's face twisted and he tried again. "Jack, I…"
Owen had only ever wanted to fix it. He never lied about that. He made it pretty clear. Fix everything. Shooting Jack was probably kinder, a kind of euthanasia because watching them gather around the computer, conspiring, betraying, would have torn his heart.
"I forgive you," Jack rasped. He couldn't bring himself to feel anything more than resignation.
Owen looked startled at the absolution, startled enough that his eyes watered. He nodded to himself, acting like it didn't surprise him, but his face began to crumble.
Like Toshiko, Jack did what he thought should be the proper response. He pulled Owen in and held him.
Owen cried.
Jack rubbed the other's back, felt what could only be weeks of grief for someone lost to the rift. Owen was left behind. He couldn't wait forever like Jack could.
Something thawed inside him and Jack held him tighter, rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. Owen shrank like a little boy, wept into Jack's chest and clutched his shirt with a fist.
Ironically, Owen never surprised him at all. Everything had led up to this. Jack smiled darkly into Owen's hair. He stared at the armory past Owen's shoulder, his hand going up and down Owen's back.
The hand in the jar was turned towards them, standing higher on the column, moved, probably because the rest of the area looked to be in shambles. It wiggled its fingers at him. And Jack still felt cold.
"…Jack?"
He was tired of waiting. Tired of trying to figure out how could he be so wrong in the universe?
Footsteps clamored behind him. Owen wiggled free. They all blurred, hands gripping him anxiously.
Jack kept staring at the hand. He thought he could hear the thrum-tap behind his eyes, and thought how he wanted someone to tell him he was forgiven for still being here.
"…Jack? Shit, come on. Lean on us. Let's get you sitting down…"
He felt himself being turned, but he tensed. No, he didn't want to go anywhere. He was tired of being taken to places where he wasn't wanted.
His body grew numb.
His vision grayed.
"…catch him!"
Jack sagged against a body. He stared up dully at faces he used to know. He felt a hand to his throat and waited for it to be slashed.
As darkness returned, Jack knew it would only be fleeting and his head lolled back despite the frantic calls. He had only one thought left.
Why did he come back?
Conclusion
Additional Notes: Many thanks to soullessminion for betaing this chapter. And trtmx for her magic trick that saved my sanity! LOL.
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/?, Jack/Ianto eventually, het and slash
Rating: NC-17 (betaed)
Summary: He left Jack on the game station. Abandoned. But then…he came back…different. An AU look on what happens if things happened differently. Doctor Who 'verse with Torchwood later on. Be sure to read the warnings.
Warnings: Please read each chapter's individual warnings. Some parts down the road may briefly mention non-con, abuse, and/or violence. Dark in the beginning. Please note there are some dark thoughts as my boys are broken…for now. Each chapter will be labeled for your convenience.
Author's Notes: Please note this is an AU that will cross over DW to TW season one. I'm probably spoiling my own story, but it will eventually be Janto. There's a bit of a journey first. I hope you enjoy. I'm working on this and intend to post regularly every other day. And again, I always believe in happy endings. So without further ado…
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Warning For This Chapter: violence, strong language, dark themes
Notes For This Chapter: Note there are parallels to TW's "End of Days" and mentions BBC's Captain's Blog, entry 13.
Prologue + Ch , Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18. Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28, Ch 29, Ch 30, Ch 31, Ch 32, Ch 33, Ch 34 Act 1/8 Part 1, Ch 34 Act 1/8 Part 2, Ch 34 Act 2/8, Ch 34 Act 3/8, Ch 34 Act 4/8 Ch 34 Act 5/8
href="http://d8rkmessngr.livejournal.com/30865.html">Ch 34 Act 6/8
Master Fic List: here
Chapter 34 "End of Days"
Act VII: "The right kind of doctor."
It had been two days.
Ianto paused by the archway leading to the morgue. He hated the fact Jack was there, hated the fact they couldn't keep him at Autopsy-not that the name made it any better-and hated the fact Gwen Cooper, short of breaks and getting something to eat, had not left Jack's side.
"She feels guilty," Tosh murmured from behind.
"And we don't?" Ianto returned bitterly. He felt Toshiko flinch. "Sorry, I-"
"I know." Tosh slipped her arm around his arm and gave it a hug. "How are you, Ianto?"
Ianto sighed and backed away from the morgue. "You wouldn't believe me if I said I was fine."
"No." Tosh led him away from the morgue. "It's not good to be here." Toshiko made a loud sigh. "I haven't been in there since…"
"He's coming back, Tosh," Ianto told her. "He …like Gwen said, Jack can't die."
Toshiko stared up at him. Then, without warning, she wrapped her arms around Ianto's arms and body and gave him a hug.
"Of course, Ianto," Tosh said softly. She gently steered him towards her repaired workstation. "Now come. Help me fix the mass spectral scanner."
Day Three…
"How long is she going to do this?" Owen rasped. He wanted to kick something.
They all stared at the CCTV. Gwen was trying to warm Jack up, rubbing his exposed limbs briskly.
"Gwen feels he'll come back," Tosh spoke up. She stared at the screen, her arms folded across her chest.
Owen just grunted. He'd checked Jack's vitals every other hour. There was no change in vitals, brain activity, or even body temperature. It never went up. Never went down either.
"Jack will," Ianto whispered but Owen thought he heard his voice quaver this time.
Owen winced. He stared hard at the screen, as the blue hued Gwen sat back down on the stool.
"He better," Owen muttered, but he closed his eyes when Gwen pleaded "Jack" one more time.
Toshiko glanced back up again towards Jack's office. Ianto had gone in, saying he needed to straighten up in there. That was thirty minutes ago. She chewed her lower lip and tapped on her keyboard as if it could speed up the defragging. It, of course, wouldn't.
The morgue was to her right, Jack's office to her left.
Gwen, for whatever reason she wouldn't share, thought she alone was fully to blame for their downfall, for them turning against Jack. Toshiko wished it were true. It would be easier to think she had no part in putting Jack in drawer seven.
It was lonely here. Owen was off somewhere again making repairs, checking on hospitals, verifying that everything was alright, everything was back to normal. He would come back later, stop by the morgue and stare. What he saw, he never said and Tosh never turned on the impassive CCTV again to see for herself. Owen would then shake his head and return to Autopsy.
If his eyes were a little red when he returned, neither one of them said anything to each other. That's just Owen's way.
Toshiko sniffed.
It was during times like these, buried in machine parts and monitors that churned out excessive numbers, when she missed Jack the most. He popped up in the oddest times about some reading or another that needed checking. He even let her drive and shared with her a knowing grin each time Owen complained he needed to readjust the driver seat.
Another sniff.
God, how could she have been so stupid? Rift temporal energies used as visual delusions had been done before. Rift energy could easily be manipulated into hallucinations, time bubbles, portals, dimensional breaches, incendiary-
Toshiko scowled at herself and stepped back from her workstation. She half-expected Jack to appear and cheerfully drag her outside to check on a random rift activity. And if they happened to pass by his favorite coffee shop Chambers, well, that's just good fortune, isn't it?
When Jack's booming voice didn't echo in the Hub, her eyes blurred.
Suddenly, standing here alone, waiting for Owen to return or for another damn computer to fall apart was simply unbearable. She headed for Jack's office.
The morgue was never an option.
Ianto sat on Jack's chair, Jack's greatcoat on his lap, staring at something under the desk blotter he had lifted up. Ianto was looking a little teary eyed.
Whereas Owen would deny it, Ianto simply sniffed and gave her an apologetic shrug and a watery smile.
"I uh…" Ianto gestured to the pile of blue wool on his lap. "I was sorting out his desk, brushing out his coat and…" Ianto sucked in his breath, shook his head and didn't finish.
Tosh made her way around Jack's desk. She blinked at the little yellow squares peeking out from under the desk blotter. Post-its, Tosh realized. They papered the desk, squares of golden tiles.
"I can't believe he kept them," Ianto choked. He lifted away the blotter completely to reveal them all. "Every last one of them."
They were lined up carefully, each flattened and placed flushed with each other. They fit under the blotter, hidden from view. Tosh was afraid to touch them.
When Ianto stroked one with a finger, she tentatively plucked the outermost one.
It was a toss-up between crying and chuckling, so Tosh chose the less painful of the two. A giggle, partially garbled with her runny nose, broke free at the crude stick figure drawing and the Zs trailing on top. Despite the rudimentary drawing though, Tosh recognized the concise lettering. She looked at Ianto questioning.
"I failed art," Ianto croaked. He tried for a smile but failed and his face scrunched up as if he was trying again.
Tosh blinked and carefully set it down and watched Ianto set the blotter on the desk, precisely, like the top of a glass box.
"You knew about Jack," Tosh said quietly, a little hurt. "Was it like Gwen? With Suzie?" She watched Ianto stroke the greatcoat like a pet.
Ianto looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he slowly nodded.
"Yes, but I knew him longer than that though," he rasped. "I met him in London." Ianto fiddled with the collar, ironing it flat with his fingers.
"Oh." Tosh lowered her head.
"He didn't know how you would have reacted," Ianto lifted up his eyes towards her. "If we weren't there, I doubt he would have ever-"
"It's okay, Ianto," Tosh interrupted. What did it matter anymore? "It's fine."
Ianto nodded to himself and stared at the blotter.
Tosh sat down on the floor; Ianto's knees reached her head. He said nothing as she laid her head on top of the greatcoat. Her eyes burned. It smelled like Jack.
"How are you, Ianto?" Tosh asked again because she suspected no one ever asked except Jack.
"Not good," Ianto rasped. "Not good at all."
Tosh wiped a tear before it could mar Jack's coat.
"What are we going to do, Ianto?" Tosh asked, almost whimpering and hating herself for it. It didn't feel odd to ask the younger man. He was the only one right now who would listen and answer her.
"I don't know," Ianto whispered.
Tosh wished she had never asked at all.
Day Four…
Ianto stood by drawer nine, taking over Tosh's spot in the shadows. He stared at Jack on the pulled out platform. The gown, the colorless skin, the stillness that was never Jack Harkness bore too many other memories for him. He stirred uneasily.
"How many days has it been?" Gwen's voice was raspy and wispy. She looked haggard when she raised her head.
"Four," Ianto told her quietly.
Gwen gave an odd laugh. "Tosh thinks I should let him go."
Gwen blurred before him. Ianto pinched between his eyes and said nothing.
"I thought…I thought he would have come back by now," Gwen admitted. "I didn't want to think Jack was the cost of…" She lowered her gaze and absently fiddled with the zipper of the body bag. Nylon crinkled.
Ianto closed his eyes. He folded his arms in front of him and took slow, steady breaths.
"You and Jack."
Ianto's eyes flew open. Gwen stared at him wearily.
Gwen smiled, tried. It turned out to be a grimace.
"Copper's instinct," she explained. Her brow knitted. "But you were with Lisa. I-"
"I'm not gay," Ianto told her. His throat tightened when he gazed at Jack's face and hated the fact Jack looked so peaceful and Ianto couldn't be happy for him. "It was…" Ianto laughed shortly at himself.
"It was just Jack." Ianto shook his head. He bit his lower lip. At Gwen's cocked head, Ianto laughed again, this time bitterly.
"It took me months to figure that out. I-I was never gay. I…It was just Jack. Always had been." God, he could cry. Ianto's shoulders shook.
"Jack has this way," Gwen offered, her mouth crinkled.
"He does…did-God." Ianto made a fist as if to strike one of the doors, then remembered.
Gwen sniffed. "He's really not coming back, is he?"
Why were they asking him? Ianto wanted to scream to Gwen. Why him?
Ianto approached and hesitantly settled a hand over Jack's right arm. He choked. So cold. Ianto didn't care what Gwen thought, Ianto bent down and kissed each closed eye because he couldn't swallow the thought of kissing Jack and not taste him in there. It would be too much.
"I'm sorry, cariad," he whispered to his ear. Ianto screwed up his face, willed the tears back and pulled away.
Gwen had no such qualms. She dipped her head and touched Jack's lips briefly, parting with a smack. She looked at Ianto. Then she reached out a hand, took Ianto's and they both started walking away. As they got further away from the wall of drawers, Gwen squeezed the hand she held. Ianto sniffed.
Someone sighed.
Ianto felt Gwen stiffen before he heard it again: a barely audible exhale.
They both twisted around and bolted back towards the platform.
At first, Jack looked like he did before: pale, marble white skin, his hair in spikes, his eyes shut. Ianto feared they were mistaken, that they had deluded themselves.
But the moment Gwen touched his left arm and Ianto his right, Jack's eyes opened half-mast.
Gwen gasped.
Ianto bit back a sob and whispered, "Jack." When pale blue eyes glanced over, Ianto smiled tightly.
"Welcome back," Gwen managed out. She held back her hair and leaned in closer so Jack could see her. "Took you long enough you cheeky bastard," her voice broke.
Jack gave a breathless chuckle. He made a feeble gesture to sit up.
She helped Ianto pull Jack up, grunting when Jack fell forward.
"Easy," Ianto murmured as he maneuvered to sit next to Jack, his arms snaking across Jack's shoulders.
Jack stared at him strangely.
"What?" Ianto was unnerved by the intent look.
Jack shook his head wearily, breaking eye contact. Then, he shivered.
"His clothes," Ianto whispered to Gwen.
Gwen nodded, stared at Jack as if she couldn't believe it still and reluctantly slipped away.
Jack's eyes tracked Ianto the whole time they were talking. He was strangely quiet and moved like an old man, his arms awkwardly around himself as he tried to get warm.
Ianto wordlessly took off his jacket and slipped it around Jack's shoulders.
As soon as the material still warm from Ianto's body heat draped over him, Jack made a sound. His entire body shook so hard, Jack nearly fell off the slab.
Ianto's eyes stung as he wrapped his arms around Jack to keep the jacket on him and Jack flinched. He could hear Jack's teeth chattering violently.
"She's coming back with your clothes," Ianto murmured low to Jack's ear.
Another pained sound and Jack twisted, curling into himself away from Ianto.
"Jack," Ianto choked. "I…"
Jack grunted softly and shook his head carefully. He sat facing the wall of drawers, arms straight down on the slab.
No, Jack was right; they should talk later. "Over here." Ianto shushed Jack's pained mutterings as he pulled Jack around. "We need to get you warmed up."
Jack felt stiff, coiled in his embrace. Head bowed, hands pressed to his chest, Jack shivered within Ianto's arms and said nothing.
"Here," Gwen announced, a bundle of a shirt and trousers under her arm. She peered anxiously up at Jack. "How is he?"
"He's fi'e," Jack rasped all of the sudden. He ignored their sobbed laughter, his eyes on the folded clothing Gwen carried.
It was awkward trying to dress Jack. He kept trying to help before he finally gave up when he kept missing a sleeve.
Gwen helped Jack with his shirt. It was almost comical to watch Gwen trying not to look when Jack stood swaying, his hand on Gwen's shoulder for support, Ianto pulling up his trousers. Jack suffered through it all, his shivering easing.
"'o who und'essed me be'ore?" Jack asked hoarsely as he struggled to pull the braces over his shoulders. He grinned weakly at them both. Gwen sputtered.
Ianto flushed from where he was by Jack's feet, tying his boots. Gwen had the foresight to get warmer socks from his dresser. He could feel the minute trembling through the trousers when he cupped the back of Jack's calf to pull up his socks. He looked up, a quick reply ready on his lips. It died through when he saw the maelstrom of emotions that darkened Jack's eyes.
When Jack realized he was caught, that grin faltered and Jack averted his gaze.
Ianto ducked his head and swallowed. Something hot pricked at the corner of his eye.
"Jack," Gwen cracked. "What I did…"
"Don't," Jack warned, his voice growing stronger. "It's done."
"If I hadn't-"
"It's done," Jack hissed. Gwen recoiled but stepped back closer when Jack staggered back against the pulled out platform. Jack's hand shot up, halting them both.
"It's over," Jack rasped. He didn't look at either one of them. Jack took a deep breath, then another, steadying himself. He nodded curtly and straightened.
Gwen looked relieved as Jack took a faltering step out of the morgue. Ianto offered a shaky smile at her shining face but he couldn't push the ill feeling in his stomach away as he watched Jack's steps firmer and stronger as he distanced himself away.
He wanted to scream, cry, rage when he felt himself walking up. A voice beckoned him. Something warm in the cold dark crooked a finger towards him.
No, Jack, told it. I'm staying here.
Another bit of warmth, sparks that shone bright in this nothingness, cooed.
But it'll hurt, Jack had whimpered to whatever it was that tugged and cajoled at him.
Invisible hands caressed his cheek, his hair, hushing him, smoothed away the tremors. Jack thought he heard Rose sing and he cried dry-eyed in the dark.
"…iad…"
It wasn't fair. He…he just wanted to rest. He wanted it to stop. He…he wanted to feel nothing. He should feel nothing in here.
Reluctantly, Jack found himself drifting towards the pinpoint of life until the light broadened and agony danced throughout his body with icy fire.
His first breath was a sob. He felt deceived into coming back.
Jack hobbled painfully out to the main Hub. His vision still foggy, he didn't quite make out the fast-moving blur until it flung itself at him. Automatically, his arms went up when Toshiko Sato threw herself at him.
Toshiko cried, really cried, as she pressed her face to his chest. Jack caught hiccups of apology, hiccups of Japanese, as Toshiko hugged him.
Jack patted her shoulder. It felt like it should be the proper response. It was. Toshiko held tighter and her tears dried to runny nose and sniffles. Toshiko pulled away, laughing nervously at herself. Gwen responded with her own watery chuckle.
Jack simply smiled again. Maybe when the lingering cold left his body, Jack could bring himself to laugh too.
Steps on metal halted and something heavy dropped. Toshiko glanced over her shoulder and paused. She touched Jack briefly on his arm and moved away.
They met halfway on the ramp. Owen stared up at Jack in a mixture of disbelief and relief.
"I…" Owen's face twisted and he tried again. "Jack, I…"
Owen had only ever wanted to fix it. He never lied about that. He made it pretty clear. Fix everything. Shooting Jack was probably kinder, a kind of euthanasia because watching them gather around the computer, conspiring, betraying, would have torn his heart.
"I forgive you," Jack rasped. He couldn't bring himself to feel anything more than resignation.
Owen looked startled at the absolution, startled enough that his eyes watered. He nodded to himself, acting like it didn't surprise him, but his face began to crumble.
Like Toshiko, Jack did what he thought should be the proper response. He pulled Owen in and held him.
Owen cried.
Jack rubbed the other's back, felt what could only be weeks of grief for someone lost to the rift. Owen was left behind. He couldn't wait forever like Jack could.
Something thawed inside him and Jack held him tighter, rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. Owen shrank like a little boy, wept into Jack's chest and clutched his shirt with a fist.
Ironically, Owen never surprised him at all. Everything had led up to this. Jack smiled darkly into Owen's hair. He stared at the armory past Owen's shoulder, his hand going up and down Owen's back.
The hand in the jar was turned towards them, standing higher on the column, moved, probably because the rest of the area looked to be in shambles. It wiggled its fingers at him. And Jack still felt cold.
"…Jack?"
He was tired of waiting. Tired of trying to figure out how could he be so wrong in the universe?
Footsteps clamored behind him. Owen wiggled free. They all blurred, hands gripping him anxiously.
Jack kept staring at the hand. He thought he could hear the thrum-tap behind his eyes, and thought how he wanted someone to tell him he was forgiven for still being here.
"…Jack? Shit, come on. Lean on us. Let's get you sitting down…"
He felt himself being turned, but he tensed. No, he didn't want to go anywhere. He was tired of being taken to places where he wasn't wanted.
His body grew numb.
His vision grayed.
"…catch him!"
Jack sagged against a body. He stared up dully at faces he used to know. He felt a hand to his throat and waited for it to be slashed.
As darkness returned, Jack knew it would only be fleeting and his head lolled back despite the frantic calls. He had only one thought left.
Why did he come back?
Conclusion
Additional Notes: Many thanks to soullessminion for betaing this chapter. And trtmx for her magic trick that saved my sanity! LOL.