Week 2 entry for October: Brigit's Flame Prompt: Fuel Note: Oh, my. It's 11:56 here, and I really hope I managed to get this in. Heh. I did this in such a hurry, just now, but I hope it still is okay.
Editor toowierdauntieOctober 25 2008, 04:01:30 UTC
Hi, Mermaidbia did such a good, thorough job editing, I will just summarize the feeling of the piece: hot and yearning, just the way a romance should be. Good job.
However: watch out for CLICHES, the killer of good writing! "Her heart flutters" "Take your hands off me!" "His mouth is hard and hot and plundering hers" These are stock phrases in romance novels- if I had a nickel for every one... Anyway, I know it's hard to think of new ways to describe those same things, but in the end that is what will make your writing "stand out from the crowd" to borrow a cliche.
Oh wow. You write original stories just as great as you write fanfiction. This is so romantic! Although the ending was very sad. I really like your characters, specially Michael.
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Mermaidbia did such a good, thorough job editing, I will just summarize the feeling of the piece: hot and yearning, just the way a romance should be. Good job.
However: watch out for CLICHES, the killer of good writing! "Her heart flutters" "Take your hands off me!" "His mouth is hard and hot and plundering hers" These are stock phrases in romance novels- if I had a nickel for every one... Anyway, I know it's hard to think of new ways to describe those same things, but in the end that is what will make your writing "stand out from the crowd" to borrow a cliche.
Blessings and good luck, W
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And thanks for the thoughtful review/edit. :)
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Anyway...I don't really have a type. But I do like sweet and funny guys. You know, those that aren't rude jerks to other people. Lol, what about you?
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