The first thing I'm going to do when I become fabulously wealthy is buy my very own soda fountain so that I can have the bubbliest soda in all the land.

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Wouldn't it be funny if instead of "Fit to a tee", the expression was "Fit to a teet"?

I think it would.

THINGS I LEARNED TODAY:
1)Sudden and severe discontinuation of venlafaxin isn’t fun! So don’t ever neglect to take your medicine for no reason and then have brain shivers, kids! Unless you’re into that sort of thing, which I know you clowns are.
2) REALITY TELEVISION TOYS WITH YOUR EMOTIONS. Crying with happiness after Project Runway is in no way a ( Read more... )

Beatle Song Titles That Are Really Funny If You Think About Them In A Sexual Way

OR

THAT'S WHAT "SHE SAID SHE SAID"

• “From Me To You”
• “Come Together
• “Oh! Darling”
• “You Never Give Me Your Money”
• “Twist And Shout”

So what if I never said I was leaving?
I'll post that list later. It's good, I promise.
For now,
THINGS I LEARNED IN THE SMALL TOWN OF ANGOLA, INDIANA:
The internet is a marvelous invention.
Fishing is an incredibly boring sport. And I use the term "sport" very loosely here.
Taking a trip to the midwest will make you feel very beautiful, skinny, ( Read more... )

This took forfuckingever. Love it or get out!

New List!

People I Am In Love With

Men (living):
• Stephen Colbert
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Hey there, "friends ( Read more... )

I think that anyone who is in favor of outlawing abortion should be required by law to work in an orphanage for a year and adopt at least one of their children.
Thank you and goodnight.

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