Sunday morning, May 27

[hbic_cuddy]

At two weeks old, Emma had already changed. Cuddy knew some people would disagree with her but she was sure of it. They were small changes, admittedly, too subtle for anyone who wasn't paying attention to notice. She saw them, though. Emma had gained weight, for one thing. Again, it was a small amount of weight but when you only weighed seven

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[whatstheddx]

House had roused at the sound of Emma's cries but after opening one eye and seeing Cuddy getting out of bed to tend to her, he closed his eye again and fell straight back to sleep. Sleepless nights weren't a new thing for House but there was a difference between being kept awake because his mind wouldn't let him sleep and being woken up every few hours to a crying baby. A couple of times he seriously considered leaving Cuddy's place for a few days to stay in his own place, to sleep uninterrupted. He knew that would have been unfair on Cuddy, though. Still, the temptation had been strong

[hbic_cuddy]

Cuddy nearly jumped out of the rocking chair when House spoke. Or she would have if her body didn't feel like it was weighed down with rocks. She was so deep into her own mixed up head, she hadn't heard him coming down the hall. The last thing she'd wanted was for him to catch her like this, looking like a mess. Being a mess.

Her movement did disturb Emma slightly and Cuddy took advantage of that to remove her from her breast and gather her to her shoulder to burp her. It also gave her an opportunity to try and hide the fact she's been crying. She couldn't hide it, of course, but she tried.

"No," she said, rubbing her hand over her face. "I mean, yes, I'm fine." She kept her face turned down and away from him, trying to hide against Emma's little body. Damn it, why couldn't she get herself under control? This was ridiculous. She didn't lose control like this even over big things and right then, she was crying over nothing. Nothing. She patted Emma's back almost in an apology for being such a mess. Not that Emma noticed, but Cuddy

[whatstheddx]

Her first answer was the right one - she was less than fine and it was too late to hide it from him. He stayed by the doorway for a few moments, watching her hide her face from him while she patted Emma's back. He'd seen Cuddy shed a few tears since the baby had been born. It wasn't anything unusual and he attributed it to hormonal changes her body was going through, having had just given birth and feeding.

He wasn't so sure what was causing it this morning, though. It could have been any number of things: hormones still, tiredness and exhaustion, something else he wasn't aware of. He hated seeing her cry but this time he was pretty certain her tears wasn't because of him

[hbic_cuddy]

Cuddy was too distraught to stop House from taking Emma from her but she didn't like it. In the current bleak chaos of her mind, he was confirming her fear there was something wrong with her. He was saying she was inadequate as a mother and Emma was better off away from her