Poem: "Whittle Down" Sawyer, [Lost]

Jul 13, 2006 18:57


Title: Whittle Down
Character/s: Sawyer, Sayid
Rating: Er... PG?
A/N: For Our Queen 
Read more... )

summer luau, my poetry, writing: lost

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Comments 13

ginny305 July 13 2006, 23:48:45 UTC
Very nice. Love the insights into Sawyer and Sayid that you gave us. So much in so few words.

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crowgirl13 July 14 2006, 02:56:03 UTC
Thank you, darlin'! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Funny that you say 'in so few words'- between the drabbles and wee poems this feels *immense* to me. *laughs*

Thanks for the feedback! ♥!

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ginny305 July 14 2006, 02:58:40 UTC
That's right the drabbles and wee fics. *sighs and surveys her own work* I can't seem to get anything done in less than ten pages anymore. I always like to read the shorter ones that convey more than some epic pieces ever could. And I loved this.

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crowgirl13 July 14 2006, 03:18:38 UTC
Awww...*glomps*

Hey, I like those epics- they are so much *fun*. But if you're feeling the need to write small, you can always jot a couple wee fics. Grab a prompt, set the kitchen timer for fifteen minutes and just *go*. Everybody says variety's spicy, after all ...:D

Thank you! *squishes*

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halfdutch July 14 2006, 01:28:07 UTC
Oh wow, a poem for me? ;) Thank you!

I like how Sawyer has gone from lumberjack to carver here -- interesting echo of his having been tortured, and now he's the one carving bamboo. Am I wrong or is there more than a hint of him reeanacting that on himself?

And that he does this in secret ... because he couldn't let anyone know he isn't idle all the time? Very intriguing. Thanks for this!

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crowgirl13 July 14 2006, 03:13:13 UTC
You are most welcome, O Queen ;D

My thoughts on this [and hopefully something resembling answers to your questions]:

Whittling doesn't look like your doing anything useful; it often appears to be just someone digging a knife into wood. Particularly in this case- since all Sawyer's creating are shaped bits of bamboo that fit under his own fingernails. It's a 'hobby' that fits his leisurely persona.

The nail-cleaning thing jumped out at me when reading your request. Sawyer strikes me as someone who would play attention to that detail, even if the soap ran out. The fact that he now has a bit of a phobia [in my slant here, at least] about having anything under his nails makes that facet of personal grooming more than a bit of a challenge.

Also: Sawyer holds a grudge like a friggin' elephant, as we all know. It only made sense that he would act as Sayid's reminder...but only in secret. He's a twisty one, that Sawyer.

I hope this lived up to your hopes for the prompts today. I certainly appreciate the inspiration!

*curtseys*

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zelda_zee July 16 2006, 22:19:55 UTC
God damn! Oh, wow, I don't know where to begin. I shouldn't even say anything, b/c I'm an idiot when it comes to poetry, but I just love this so much! Well, it just plays so perfectly into my conceptions of both these characters and how the aftereffects of CM would hit them.

I love that Sayid watches from the treeline. And that Sawyer can only clean his nails when Sayid is there.

At any other time

His hands shake

Too much.

That just hit me hard.

I hope this doesn't come across as egotistical, but it struck me that your poem could fit the island backstory for The Exchange. I could so see it part of that world. But if also fits perfectly with canon, it's perfectly in character.

Love this, love you. Sorry it took me a while to read it.

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crowgirl13 July 17 2006, 04:25:15 UTC
Zelda love, you totally made my day. I was having a bit of a discouraging writing stint here; your comment could not have been better-timed. Thank you.

I find it interesting and frustrating that the consequences of CM are not addressed in the show. Yeah, Sayid had a bit of karmic retribution enacted on him [which I have *very* mixed feelings about...], but the dynamic between Sawyer and Sayid didn't get looked at much. And the thing is, Sawyer is not the sort of guy to just let an incident like that go. Even if he was pushing Sayid to get the drastic response in the first place.

So, I'm extra gratified that this *made sense* canonically speaking and that the behavior is true to both characters. Man oh man, I've having some serious Sawyer love right now- that man's brain is so *fascinating*.

...it struck me that your poem could fit the island backstory for The Exchange. I could so see it part of that world. Um. I don't think that's egotistical at all. I am actually so deeply flattered by that comment I'm not sure what to say. Wow. ( ... )

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zelda_zee July 17 2006, 05:22:09 UTC
Sorry you are having a hard time w/your writing right now, but I am glad if my fb was a bright spot.

One of the hardest things to deal w/in terms of Lost is the lack of accountability and follow through. Thank god for fic, we can make CM echo through the years, if we choose to! That ep was truly one of the best things I've ever seen on TV, in terms of sheer drama, and there's so much there to work with. No matter how long the show lasts, I'll imagine I'll go back to that one ep again and again.

Oh, I'm so glad you didn't take my comment about The Exchange the wrong way! I almost didn't say that.

And yeah, I love that icon. I find it terribly erotic, which I probably shouldn't. Oh well.

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zenana7 July 17 2006, 05:13:59 UTC
Lovely, lovely, from beginning to end. The build up, the ritual, the yearning, the art, create, destroy, create, filled with an undercurrent of want. And resignation.

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crowgirl13 July 17 2006, 18:25:24 UTC
What a marvelous, concise summary of the piece! i'm glad you enjoyed it.

*hugs*

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arabella_hope July 21 2006, 23:11:27 UTC
Oh, wow. This completely took my breath away, the thought of Sawyer reliving that moment - or, more aptly, forcing SAYID to - by whittiling bamboo. It serves to center him but also feeds his need for revenge, however 'subtle'.

OR you could be desrcibing something totally different ;)

But I love this, completely.

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crowgirl13 July 22 2006, 02:18:02 UTC
Yay for your love! *squishes*

Sawyer's bluster is such a good front, I think other people don't realize [or forget] he can do subtle. This prompt definitely fired up the muse: I was so struck by the image of Sawyer at dawn, eyes locked on Sayid, cleaning his nails... Revenge, reenactment or an attempt at something else [it's too idealistic I think to put in a claim for redemption here], it's hard to say. I'm glad this translates well, regardless.:D

*grins and hugs you tight*

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