Cursed: Like Brokeback, but with Magic Powers and a Happier Ending
Ooooookay, this is an OLD project that I kept neglecting, despite helpwess and all her pleading. But I'll take care of it now!
Cursed is a movie. It is about becoming accidental half werewolves because your parents are dead and Christina Ricci has to be a grown up and take care of her teenaged brother? Whatever.
The point is that this movie has something I wholeheartedly approve of: CANONICALLY GAY TEENAGE CRUSHES WHICH MAKE THE WHOLE PLOT IRRELEVANT.
Oh, and for those of you who watch Heroes, this gay subplot stars Milo Ventimiglia, except with better hair! (Okay, I just like it out of his face is all. And now I sound like his mother. Except I hope his mother does not encourage his gayface shenanigans with saucy subtitles. What? nevermind.)
Anyway, last year I wrote little notes on lots of gay screencaps and sent them to various people, describing all the best parts of the movie. It isn't quite Family Album, but it was a precursor to that whole project, and so I remember it fondly.
Here is something helpwess had to say at the time: WAIT IS THIS SHIT FOR REAL
CANON WRESTLER CRUSHES?????????????????
If you care marginally about plot, here it is: Jimmy's parents are dead, Christina Ricci is his older sister. Jimmy gets bullied by a SUPER POPULAR WRESTLER named Bo. For example:
Jimmy is in love with Bo's girlfriend, even though she seems like a sort of passive annoying whore who ties her shirt in the back. Or something.
This next scene is more BULLYING and Bo calling Jimmy GAY GAY GAY, despite his happy smile.
Okay, so, then Jimmy gets half werewolfed, which makes you like raw meat and cures your acne, but doesn't make you a full-fledged werewolf? Whatever. He uses this amazing transformation to...flirt with Bo's girlfriend in front of him. Bo is jealous. Not so much because he's worried about his girlfriend, wink wink.
In Part Two: SECRET GAY CRUSH WRESTLING
FOR REALS
Cursed is a movie. It is about becoming accidental half werewolves because your parents are dead and Christina Ricci has to be a grown up and take care of her teenaged brother? Whatever.
The point is that this movie has something I wholeheartedly approve of: CANONICALLY GAY TEENAGE CRUSHES WHICH MAKE THE WHOLE PLOT IRRELEVANT.
Oh, and for those of you who watch Heroes, this gay subplot stars Milo Ventimiglia, except with better hair! (Okay, I just like it out of his face is all. And now I sound like his mother. Except I hope his mother does not encourage his gayface shenanigans with saucy subtitles. What? nevermind.)
Anyway, last year I wrote little notes on lots of gay screencaps and sent them to various people, describing all the best parts of the movie. It isn't quite Family Album, but it was a precursor to that whole project, and so I remember it fondly.
Here is something helpwess had to say at the time: WAIT IS THIS SHIT FOR REAL
CANON WRESTLER CRUSHES?????????????????
If you care marginally about plot, here it is: Jimmy's parents are dead, Christina Ricci is his older sister. Jimmy gets bullied by a SUPER POPULAR WRESTLER named Bo. For example:
Jimmy is in love with Bo's girlfriend, even though she seems like a sort of passive annoying whore who ties her shirt in the back. Or something.
This next scene is more BULLYING and Bo calling Jimmy GAY GAY GAY, despite his happy smile.
Okay, so, then Jimmy gets half werewolfed, which makes you like raw meat and cures your acne, but doesn't make you a full-fledged werewolf? Whatever. He uses this amazing transformation to...flirt with Bo's girlfriend in front of him. Bo is jealous. Not so much because he's worried about his girlfriend, wink wink.
In Part Two: SECRET GAY CRUSH WRESTLING
FOR REALS