[MM] application, who would win in a fight, astronauts, or cavemen? Why?

[criminal_issues]

Can I just say cavemen and leave it at that? I'm guessing not. Okay, so - assuming astronauts and cavemen were in some apocalyptic battle (because that's the only way I can even remotely see astronauts and cavemen duking it out) then it would be safe to assume

Comments

[nottome]

Thank god someone else out there says ninjas. You just know at least half the people that say pirates are just saying it because they're in love with Johnny Depp.

[criminal_issues]

I don't see what's so great about the guy. Sure, he's a damn chameleon - but that's where it stops for me.

I don't find him attractive.

And yes. Ninjas. Trained, silent, assassins. It's a no-brainer!

[nottome]

I'm not really big on any of his movies. Except a handful of Tim Burton ones. Just give me a sci-fi epic any day, though, seriously. And yeah, totally not attractive at all. It's like how women flipped out over Orlando Bloom despite the fact that he's rather...ugly. And come on, elves are not hot. They're like sparkly Vulcans or something.

Okay I think that's enough rambling off the topic. Yes. Ninjas. Pirates wouldn't even see them coming. What ISN'T cool about ninjas?

[criminal_issues]

Exactly! Elves and Vulcans are not attractive. I've never seen anything in Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp. Hell no. You are so much more attractive then the both of them, man.

Ninjas are fucking amazing. There is nothing that isn't cool about ninjas. They're quiet. And "invisible"...they'd best pirates so bad.

[nottome]

Zachary Quinto can kiss my ass. You cannot make Spock sexy.

Wait, am I? Yeah, I probably am. I mean...wait. Okay, I'm not a big celebrity with hair stylists and make-up artists and whatever. But I proably am. ...Probably not as fit, but still. I mean, hey, why don't we have fans throwing themselves out our feet? We are young, fit, attractive people, right? Just because we've never been in trilogies that have grossed hundreds of millions of dollars...

Yeah, okay, anyone can learn to fire a cannon and swing a sword, but let's see them becoming a master ninja. Yeah, not gonna happen.

[criminal_issues]

Spock is a less than sexy character. He's - the antithesis of sexy. Spock and Kirk slashers are just fooling themselves because that's twice the unattractive.

Billy. You're a catch - and you are very cute. And yes, because you haven't been in a high grossing trilogy you're more attractive.

I know. Pull and hi-ya! What sounds better? The hi-YA! And the kicking. PLUS, ninjas scale buildings and do acrobatics. A pirate drinks and looks over the side of a boat. A ninja can just push a pirate overboard.

[nottome]

Now, come on. To be honest, Shatner was not bad-looking when he wasn't being a fatass bitching at former co-stars online.

Now you're just being a flatterer. Can you tell I never know how to take compliments? I want to argue that you're wrong more than I want to thank you. Hey, you know, I'm sure people dig the whole writing thing you've got going on. Though I don't think I ever asked if you're seeing anyone. I mean I said about Penny but that we're not, uh. Actually a thing. I mean, I don't know, maybe that's something that's none of my business? I'm just curious.

I'd like to see pirates try to pull off moves like those dudes that do parkour do in their flashy, filthy outfits.

[criminal_issues]

I'll admit he was not unfortunate looking, no.

I can tell, yes. I guess people dig that writing thing I've got going on. You didn't. It's not a secret. I'm not seeing anyone. In a way, I'm dating. I do like someone but I don't know him well enough to say that we're dating or even together. So, I'm single. And looking. Why the curiosity?

They would look pretty foolish. Why would anyone ever become a pirate anyway? What is so great about being a pirate?

[nottome]

Yeah. It's like that with me and Penny. It's uncertain and not actually dating or together. I don't even know. Why would you say you're dating someone that you don't know well? And the curiosity just because, well, we're talking about attractivity, and that just made me curious to know if you had caught someone's eye. Simple curiosity. People learn about each other by talking to each other, so this is me, talking to you and learning about you. God that sounded lame.

It's the booty, I guess. And Talk Like a Pirate Day? Which only sounds ridiculous. The movies aren't fun. The ride the movies were based on is not fun. Why would anyone base a movie series off a god knows how old Disney ride? Attention women: you are not going to have your very own personal ~*Captain Jack Sparrow*~ come sweep your little dutchess princess whatever self away into a life of...debauchery?

[criminal_issues]

It didn't sound lame. It sounded very cute. Adorable even. And, it's not that I'm dating someone I don't know well. I went on a date with a guy my friend bombarded me with introduced me too.

Was that a roundabout way of saying you find me attractive or you think others would?

And don't worry. I'm good with the learning. Ask whatever you want.

I have no idea. I've never been on said ride and I have never wanted to be on said ride. We should send a mass E-mail to everyone woman out there reminding them that there is only one Johnny Depp and he is in his early forties. It will be like the glass shattering around them something akin to Santa Clause being fake.

[nottome]

Oh, so you go with the guys? That's cool. Like I'm with most of the country--California sucks regarding Prop 8. I dragged one of my friends to a protest up here in New York when one happened. I think it'll be nice to finally come back home though, I should be back getting used to pacific time again by lunchtime tomorrow. Aaaand there I go rambling again.

Well I already said others would probably find you attractive... I mean, I wouldn't know. I'm just saying...I'm sure you're an attractive guy in-general, to people, you know.

Never been on it, either, but from word of mouth, it's like the lamest thing ever. And hey, people can have their fantasies or else mun wouldn't be able to fangirl NPH like she does, despite him being twice her age with a boyfriend, just as long as they don't get creepy obsessive. Which...is the case, a lot. You're better off looking for actual real love.

[criminal_issues]

Billy, don't worry. You can say "I'm straight" and you won't be struck by lightning. If you want to know, I was curious. Your rambling is downright adorable and yes, you're attractive.

I'm glad you're coming back to L.A., though. It's been nice these past couple of days.

People can have their fantasies. I can fantasize about meeting you in person and having a great time because you're a great guy as the mun is now wondering who's NPH's boyfriend... but despite that I won't be creepy-obsessive. But yes. Real love.

It's out there.

[nottome]

Well, yeah, I mean...it's just...yeah.

We should meet up, though. I might even be able to help you in your job. As I go for intrigue with my failed powers of vaguery. I mean I'm in NYC because I have so many awesome friends there, but it's not like I don't have friends in LA. Not a lot of them are guys.

I'd never heard of David Burtka before, but oh my god they are so cute together it's ridiculous. Real love. Yeah. Sure. I'm sure it is. It's just so hard to find. And then some people give up on it altogether, which is just sad.

Can we just be clear on one thing for a second here? Are/were you flirting with me? You can tell how long I've been out of the dating scene if I have to ask something as...stupid and ridiculous as that.

[criminal_issues]

...Yeah.

Well, you have one more and so do I. And - I'll appreciate the somewhat vague help with my job. And hell yes we're meeting up. This is a given.

Beats me but you know he's going to be googles momentarily. I know. I used to be one of those people but -- that's in the past. Real love is out there, Billy for you and for me.

I was/have been/am flirting with you, Billy. Don't feel ridiculous. Nobody asks anymore and it goes unnoticed too much. I'm glad you asked. I think. Anyway...yep.

[nottome]

Is that like a good yeah or a disappointed yeah or an 'I don't know what you're saying so I'm just going to say yeah' yeah or...because I'm not even sure what i'm saying anymore anyway. So. Yeah.

Yeah, I never used to be idealistic about that. But it's good to be like that. It's good to think that there's that one person out there that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that they'll want the same. I've been told I can be extremely romantic sometimes.

You mean flirting in-general goes unnoticed, or your flirting does? I'm so bad at that. Fumbling over words. And in you're head you're just like 'dude just spit out exactly what you mean', but it's not that easy. Well, maybe it is for you, but I never could unless pushed to do that.

[criminal_issues]

It was an amused yeah.

Oh, God. I can't think there's just one out there. If there was only one then what happens if I let that person go? I'm open to a lot of possibilities but one guy out there for me isn't it. But, the idea is romantic - I guess if it's true, I hope I didn't miss my chance.

All of the above. My flirting and flirting in general. We'd get a lot more done in the world if people just asked questions. It's not easy, still. That's the thing. It's difficult but if people stepped up -- well, I think the human race would get a lot farther.