"It's Always You"; Tony DiNozzo/Danny Messer
Title: It’s Always You
Author: Emono
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: CSI: New York; NCIS
Pairings: Tony DiNozzo/Danny Messer
Disclaimer: I neither own CSI nor NCIS, but I do own this plot
Summary: Where was Tony the night La Grenouille was killed?
Beta: gil_follower
Warnings: Spoilers for “Internal Affairs”, angst, smut
Word Count: 3237
Tony shouldn’t drive drunk, he knew this. But he wasn’t completely hammered, he had only consumed enough to ease the pain in his chest. Besides, the airport was only a few miles form his house. He got there with little trouble, and with a wave of his NCIS bade he was allowed access. He clutched his backpack over his shoulder, looking wildly around the terminal. A friend of his, Lamia, was touching up the paint of his plane away from the large, commercial flights.
“Tony?” Lamia turned, peering at the Special Agent. In the warm light of the setting sun, the man looked drawn and little drunk. “What’s up?”
“Need a ride to New York, man” Tony drawled, rubbing at his stubbled jaw “And I need it now.”
Tony had a deal worked out with his friend, a ride up to New York whenever he wanted and the agent kept Lamia well-stocked in good wine and access to the DiNozzo lawyer (who was very good at his job) at any time…no expenses. Lamia closed up the touch-up, wiping his hands off on his jeans and leaving stripes of emerald behind. His handsome face showed an expression of sympathy, and the Special Agent felt heavier under his stare.
“Need to see your lover that bad?”
Tony swallowed thickly before he could reply, “Yeah, Lam…that bad.”
+
Tony only needed one thing right now, his lover.
The whole La Grenouille thing had torn him up raw. He was weak, he moved slowly, his reactions weren’t what they used to be. Right after that shoot out to save Jeanne…everything had broken. He felt like crying, screaming, shouting, throwing an overall fit. It was a heady thing, feeling so out of control. He would’ve snapped long ago, but the beers he had chugged were dull the edge. It was still there, that itch, right beneath his skin. He knew why he felt so horrible, so wrong…
Tony had fallen in love with Jeanne…a woman…someone who wasn’t his lover. It made him sick, it made his stomach churn and he had already expelled all the food he had eaten since yesterday. There was nothing left, and he gagged a little when the emotions hit him. He had seduced Jeanne Benoit (under Jenny Sheppard‘s orders), made her fall in love with him (under Sheppard’s orders), slept with her (basically under Jen’s orders), and it was nothing but a cacophony of lies.
Everything, from the romantic dinners to the sweet kisses, the rolls in the sheets, the passion between them…all a lie. He thought he could do it, and even though his lover had been pissed about it in the beginning…he had agreed it was just part of his job and wished him good luck.
His sweet Danny…he had betrayed his trust, for a God-damn woman. A woman he thought he had loved, if only for a moment. But it hurt, it was a pained love, because he knew he really wanted to pamper and seduce and to make love to. Today he told Jeanne the truth, he was a federal agent and he was in love with a man. He had seen her tears and hurt, and he hadn’t felt a thing but regret. In her eyes, he could only see the brilliant blue of his Danny’s eyes.
Tony could’ve denied everything, played it off as rumors. But he couldn’t deny a thing now, Jimmy Palmer had already destroyed that option. Jimmy had called Danny from the morgue as soon as the Scuttlebutt reached him, and he told Danny straight out that his ‘undercover’ lover had fucked Jeanne Benoit. Danny had been upset, calling his cell only to scream at him and hang up. Tony thought they were over, then heard the choked sob at the end of the harsh words.
Danny was upset, not angry…he was hurt…
That meant he loved him, still loved him.
And Tony had thought it was over, drank a little, and come to the conclusion on his fucked up heart, his mixed love, his feelings for Danny and Jeanne.
No, he couldn’t love her…he didn’t…and now he knew he didn’t.
Now he knew what to do.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tony got off the plane, caught a cab, and was at Danny’s place within the hour. He dragged his bag up the steps, trying to come up with the right thing to say. With each step, he became more and more emotional. His heart was pounding, he broke out in a cold sweat, and his fingers were trembling. He ran the last five steps, sprinting down the hall until he stopped right in front of the door.
Tony raised his fist to knock, breath catching in his lungs. With a quick scolding to himself for his pathetic thoughts, he knocked. There was weak laughter on the inside, the sounds of a TV…a hockey game.
“No way can this beat baseball” came the muffled voice of his lover on the inside, the latch coming undone “Next time, I choose.”
The door came open, a man was revealed. Their eyes met, teary jade meeting pools of sapphire. The younger man froze, gaping dumbly at the Special Agent. Tony, through all his heartache, practically melted at the sight of his lover. Danny looked miserable, he was kind of scruffy, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. He wasn’t at the peek of desirability, but this was his lover.
“D-Danny…” Oh God, he sounded so broken.
“DiNozzo” Danny spat, his initial surprise gone “Go back to Jeanne, I bet she misses you.”
Tony’s heart broke a little more, “Danny, don’t-”
“Dan-o?” Don stood from the couch, he was dressed in his jersey and a pair of worn jeans. He spotted the man in the doorway, looking between the lover’s curiously. “Hey, Ton’, you look like hell.”
Tony tried to retort a sarcastic remark, but it all caught in his throat.
“I’ll leave you two alone” Don stated, hurriedly grabbing his jacket and slipping his feet into his shoes “Call me later, tell me how this ends.”
The detective left, leaving them alone in the apartment.
“What could you want, DiNozzo?” Danny turned, walking away from the other and standing by the couch with his back to his ex-lover “What could ya possibly want from me that Jeanne can’t give ya?”
Tony ignored the sharp pain in his chest, “Danny, at least let me explain-”
“Explain what?” Danny barked, arms crossed as he glared angrily at the wall (he knew that if he looked at the Special Agent, he’d burst into tears) “That you fell in love wit’ some woman? That ya abandoned me for almost a year? That you fucked her? I was ok wit’ the seducin’ and the kissin’, the dinners. I didn’t care, cause you were mine. But then Jimmy called, said you’d fucked her, said you’d taken her into our bed, said you…”
Danny nearly choked, blinking back tears.
“…said you loved her…”
Danny turned, ready to bark something nasty and kick the man out, but he found himself enveloped in heat. Tony dropped his book bag, sliding onto his knees before his lover. He wrapped his arms around Danny’s torso, pressing his forehead into the warm cloth of his thin wife-beater. The CSI wanted to push him away so bad, but then Tony let out a broken sob and he didn’t have the heart.
“He’s right, he’s right about everything” Tony choked out “I fucked her, Dan, and I took her home. I put my whole heart in it, and I made her love me. I didn’t think I’d care for her, Dan, I’m honest about that. But you were in New York, the Director kept pressuring me, and Jeanne was crying…and I just made myself love her. I couldn’t tell her no…I’m a horrible person, I was cruel to both you and her. I don’t deserve anything, but please Danny…”
Tony looked up, tears staining down his cheeks. His heart broke a little more when he saw Danny glaring down at him, ready to beat the fuck out of him.
“It was always you” Tony promised, holding the warm body in his arms tightly “I looked into her eyes, and all I saw was you. I wanted it to be you that I was with all the time, not her. I was just substituting, Danny…you know I love you. I promised, at the start, I would never hurt you…not like the others. I’m weak, I fell, but it was only because I wanted it to be you. Sleeping with her was the worst thing I’ve ever done, and I wanted nothing but to run back to you and beg forgiveness. Now I am…I’m begging you Danny, don’t leave me…”
Tony pressed his face into the warm cloth on his lover’s stomach, praying this wasn’t the last contact he’d ever have with this man, “Don’t leave me…when I need you the most.”
Danny broke at this. He loved Tony, he knew it, he couldn’t deny it. He would always forgive the man, even if he did stupid things all the time. He was a flirt, he was a ladies man, but he was Danny’s. No one was going to destroy what they had, especially some bitch who just wanted a ride with an Italian Stallion. Tony was murmuring in Italian, nuzzling his stomach, positively groveling.
“Anthony” Danny sighed, reaching down and threading his fingers in soft brunette hair. Tony purred at the touch, arching into it. “I’m pissed that you slept with her, but…you don’t love her, do you?”
“Never” Tony shook his head “Always you, Danny, always you.”
Danny sighed softly, but decided that…yes, he forgave his lover. Tony was a screw-up, but he was his screw-up. Danny wasn’t going to let some bitch get between them, not for anything. He pulled the man up by his hair, fastening his lips together. Tony made a sound, but only kissed him back feverishly. Their height differences bugged Danny, so he shoved and shoved his lover until he had him sprawled over his bed. Danny crawled the length of him, biting intently at his jaw and neck.
“You’re mine, Anthony” the blonde growled, ripping off his lover’s clothes. They kissed and touched, and soon he was stretching his lover for a proper love making. Tony received each finger with a sigh and a moan, but when he finally got his cock in his tight ass…bliss…They were on fire, sweat soaking hair and running down arched backs.
Tony clawed at his love’s back, strong legs around his waist and pulling him in closer. It wasn’t often he bottomed, but when he did…Danny was Italian too, after all, and their was a raw passion between them that couldn’t be quenched.
“Mine, Anthony, don’t ya ever fuckin’ forget it” Danny growled into his ear, biting savagely below his ear and making him cry out “No one else, never. Ya got that? If I ever-” Danny’s thrusts got harder, no mercy for his mewling lover “-ever catch ya wit’ anyone else, I’ll kill ‘em and lock you up here wit’ me.”
Tony made a desperate sound in the back of his throat, unexplained tears wetting his cheeks, “Promise?”
“You bet yer ass” Danny claimed his lips, hitching those long tan legs higher up on his waist and thrusting deeper. Tony nearly screamed as his prostrate was nailed over and over, his lover lighting him up like no one else could do. Jeanna was pale in comparison, how could he ever deny the trust and love he had for this man? A sham, that’s what his love for her was…a lie, a cacophony of lies.
Sharp, kitten incisors dug into his neck, and he came hot and hard between them.
Tony arched into the other, “Claim me, amore.”
And Danny did, bruising the man’s hips under his vice grip and not regretting a second of it as he grunted into his tan neck. They collapsed onto the sheets together, Danny’s softening shaft slipping from his body with only a whimper of complaint from the bottom. Danny half-heartedly used the edge of the sheet to clean them, then curled around his lover.
“I have to be back in the morning” Tony didn’t care how hoarse he sounded “Then I’m taking a leave. Can I…can I come stay with you?”
“ ‘Course” Danny muttered, nuzzling into soft chocolate-colored hair “Did I hurt you, babe?”
“Nah” Tony grinned stupidly, nuzzling the hollow of the blonde’s throat “I love it when you take me.”
Danny sighed sadly, “You…you hurt me, Anthony.”
“I know” Tony still had drying tears glittering on his cheeks “And I’m so damn sorry. Never again, right?”
“Right” Danny murmured, kissing away his tears “Never again. You’re mine, I’m yours…we belong only to each other, and have the right to clock out anyone who touches what’s ours.”
Tony smiled brilliantly, “There’s the Daniel Messer I know.”
Danny’s thumb brushed his bottom lip, “And there’s that smile I love.”
Tony yawned, and his lover settled him down under the blanket.
“Love you, Dan” Tony murmured, eyes fluttering shut and the exhaustion of the week creeping in on him “Love you so much.”
“Goodnight, amore mio” Danny curled in next to him “I love you too.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“You loved her?” Fornell questioned him, the lights hot on his face “You fell in love on your mission.”
Tony smiled ruefully, “For a moment…yes.”
“And that’s why you killed La Grenouille” Fornell pressed, pacing in front of the table “That’s why you pulled the trigger…to save the woman you love from more hurt. That’s understandable, Agent DiNozzo.”
“What?” Tony stated, deadpan “Surely you can’t think I killed him?
“Of course you did” Fornell’s face remained neutral “We’ve got an eye witness that says you did it.”
“What eye witness?” Tony barked, and the man’s silence was enough o solidify his suspicion. His bottle green eyes went impossibly wide, and his lips parted in surprise. “Did…did Jeanne accuse me of this?”
The look in Fornell’s eyes told the truth, “I can’t discuss it, you know that.”
“That bitch!” Tony roared, slamming a hand on the table “Why would she do that? Just because I told her I didn’t love her? I betrayed her trust, and now she accuses me of murder? Real mature, Beniot!”
The last words were aimed at the two way mirror, glaring at his own reflection.
“Why so angry?” Fornell cocked his head to the side, frowning.
“Why so serious, Fornell?” Tony grinned bitterly “I didn’t do it.”
The older man’s frown turned into a smile “Your co-workers expected you for a drink last night…you never showed up.”
Tony crossed his arms defiantly, “I drink alone.”
“You weren’t at home.”
“I left.”
“Drunk?”
“Correction, I left D.C.” Tony stressed the city “I had a designated flyer.”
Fornell narrowed his eyes, “You’re lying.”
“I’m not, and I don’t love Jeanne. On the job, I would’ve killed for her…but now, no way” Tony stood, filled with righteous fury “I love one person, Fornell…and I was with him all night.”
Fornell looked utterly appalled/shocked…Tony was satisfied with himself as he sat down again.
“I didn’t do it” Tony grinned “And the difference between you and me, Fornell? I’ve got an eye witness and physical evidence.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
After they had confirmed his alibi, Tony was allowed to leave. He straightened out his jacket as he headed to the bullpen, wondering how they had confirmed his story so quickly. Just as he was passing the “NCIS” printed wall, someone caught his eye that stopped him dead in his tracks. The man was a little shorter than him, had wild closed-cropped blonde hair and wire-rimmed blue eyes. A NYPD bade was clipped to his belt, a gun holster on his hip, and he had his thumbs loosely tucked in the front pockets of his pants.
“Danny…” Tony breathed in relief, smiling despite himself and approaching the man “What are you doing here, amore?”
The man smiled up at him, “Ya know I’d fly anywhere for ya.”
“Jeanne told them I killed his father” Tony stated, causing his lover to scowl “If it wasn’t for you, Dan, I’d be screwed.”
Danny’s eyes trialed over his shoulder, he nodded pointedly, “That her?”
Tony turned, spotting Jeanne being escorted out of the building with an armed officer. He made a move towards her, but found he was unable to go through with it. He wanted to make things right, but he knew he was too angry. He didn’t want to hurt her…just pound her face in for dragging his name threw the mud. Like he didn’t do it enough on his own, thank you.
Danny laid a hand on his boyfriend’s arm, “I’ll be right back.”
Tony nodded and silently, watching the blonde approach her.
“Take five, big guy” Danny flashed his bade at the man, who only nodded and walked off a distance. Danny met eyes with the woman, who had her held her head high and was glaring defiantly. He put one hand on the elevator and leaned, indicating he wasn’t letting her leave. “So…yer Jeanne Benoit…yer the other woman.”
Her eyes flashed over him, “And you must be the…the other man.”
Danny took note of her disgust and conceded, “I condoned his undercover mission, ya know. He woulda refused if I had said no…if not fer me, ya would’ve never been hurt like this. If anything, blame me.”
Jeanne bared her teeth, “How noble.”
“Don’ mock me, ya damn bitch” Danny growled, her disgust replaced with fear at his threatening tone “I get it, ya lost yer father…honestly, I sympathize. But Anthony don’t need this kind of shut, ya hear me? If anything should happen to him…say he get shot in the head by a stray bullet or get struck by a bolt of lightening, I’m gonna be very offended. Ya got me?”
Danny slammed his fist on the elevator door, making her jump, “Don’t touch him…”
Jeanne nodded quickly, and he put on a sincere mask.
“My condolences on yer father” Danny reached out, taking her hand and bussing his lips against the back of it “Live life well…no matter how short or long ya make it.”
Danny left her, nodding at the officer curtly. He made his way back to his lover, Tony looked a through mix of shocked/embarrassed/pleased. The blonde raise a brow at this, “Wha’?”
Tony practically swooned, “I love it when you quote The Godfather.”
The End