Comments | createdestiny: Karma

createdestiny

Karma

Aug 13, 2008 21:20

My sister’s beeswax hair is everywhere now ( Read more... )

my poetry, karma

Comments 16

ygolonac August 14 2008, 04:54:55 UTC

I'm not a poetry guy but I like how this sounds in my head when I read it.

bug_311 August 14 2008, 20:38:12 UTC

I agree with Dirk.. I'm not a poetry kind of gal, but this sounds good... I like the line "in the isotpes of hope cake"

You're awesome.

createdestiny August 16 2008, 14:18:45 UTC

I think I should make that line the new title of my journal.

willowing August 14 2008, 06:08:08 UTC

this is lovely. x

createdestiny August 14 2008, 13:07:55 UTC

Thanks.

halieknife August 14 2008, 06:15:33 UTC

I love it.

createdestiny August 14 2008, 13:08:07 UTC

Thank you.

Karma's hair lcurtis August 14 2008, 11:34:48 UTC

I love the poem, wonderful! She lives on in our thoughts and memories.

1gr8poetess August 14 2008, 18:02:11 UTC

Beautiful!

createdestiny August 16 2008, 00:41:58 UTC

Thanks, but I think there are some real problems with this poem. It doesn't follow the same template in each stanza. The rhythm is off, but I had to get this out while this California grass is still yellow. Ack, any suggestions writer to writer?

bug_311 August 16 2008, 07:08:46 UTC

Are there really "rules" to poetry?

Now that I see the grass as inspiration, if you will, the poem kicks even more ass.

createdestiny August 16 2008, 14:16:55 UTC

Yeah I guess, but fuck the rules. Mostly I think it's just a rhythm problem.

Thread 6