Life Altering-10
Title: Life altering
Author: cream4me
Genre: AU, angst, male/male
Fandom: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Pairing: Kyo x Shinya, Kyo x Mana
Overall Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They are real people too, or at least that’s what my therapists says. So no I guess I only own them in my mind
Summary: Shinya was thrown on the streets; force to live with is best friend. He needed help but didn’t know where to turn to for help. Luckily he didn’t have to go far to find his knight in shinnying armor but will he regret his decision and go back to the one person who manage to ruin his life in only one day?
Warning: Homosexuality and mpreg
Chapter ten
Throughout the entire day Shinya had to suffer seeing Kyo and Mana be lovely dovey in front of him. He knew that Mana was doing it on purpose but he didn't know why. They were now sitting at home after a tiring day of serious shopping. "I'm gonna go put her down for her nap." said Kyo.
"Remember to put her on her stomach this time Kyo." scolded Mana. Kyo waved him off and went upstairs to the nursery.
"Shinya what's wrong?" asked Mana. They boy shook his head and sat on the quiet the couch.
"I know something is wrong. What is it?"
"Mana? A-are you in love with Kyo?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because, today you guys were acting like the perfect couple and I could never get him to do that with me. No matter what I tried."
"The answer to your question is no. And he knows that." said Mana. Shinya looked at him with a confused look on his face.
"Kyo...he feels like he needs to be with me. He doesn't think I can raise Kanon by myself or more like he doesn't trust me to be around her. I know I can have my little episodes but I'm fine on my own and I can take care of her without his help. I was doing it all by myself before the incident happened. He could have cared less about her until then and I will always resent him for that no matter what." Shinya stayed quiet not knowing what to say. Kyo came back into the room and felt the awkward silence between them and wanted to get away from it.
"Kyo, when do you plan on leaving?"
"Tomorrow actually. I wasn't able to get enough time off from work. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. Well I'm going to go take a nap. I'll see you in guys in a little while." They waited for him to leave the room before either one of them said anything.
"Kyo? What is the reason that you’re still with Mana? Are in love with him?" Kyo went to sit next to Shinya.
"No not really. I mean yeah I love him but I'm not in love with him. It's more like I'm here for Kanon. I know I wasn't there for her or Mana when she was born and I want to make up for lost time. And I know he doesn't want me here but until I know Kanon will be safe with him I'm not leaving. Whether he like it or not."
"Why weren't you there with him when she was born?"
"I wasn't expecting her to born at 7 months. That and I was with you still..." Shinya lowered his head at his words. He knew what he meant and he felt ashamed for it. He still felt like he meant nothing to Kyo when he heard him talk like that.
"Why didn't you just break up with me instead of cheating on me? Why did you make me feel like you actually loved me when really I was just a toy?"
"Shinya you know that's not true. I did love you at one point but I don't know what happened."
"I guess Mana was more important than me right?" Shinya said sarcastically.
"Shinya you know that’s not--"
"Whatever Kyo..." he started, cutting Kyo off.”It doesn't matter anymore, I have Die now." he said getting up. Hearing Shinya mention Die again sparked anger in Kyo. He rushed up and grabbed Shinya by the arm roughly and forced him to look at him.
"Why are you even dating him anyway?!" he yelled. Shinya tried to jerk his arm out of Kyo's vice grip.
"Stop, you’re hurting me!" he said, his eyes watering.
"Tell me! I know you don't love him."
"Yes I do now let me go!"
"No! Not until you tell me why."
"Stop Kyo. I don't need this kind of stress. You could hurt the babies." Hearing this Kyo let go and backed away, still feeling the need to grab him. "Why do you care so much anyway? If I mattered to you that much you wouldn't have left. No matter what the situation." he said, now crying. "Do you know how many times I stayed up crying for you?!" he said between sobs. "I wanted you to come back to me so bad that I actually made an appointment for an abortion, thinking that maybe you'll come back. If it wasn't for Totchi I would have done it."
"Shin, I'm sorry I told you to get rid of it."
"No your not! If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have never said it..."he said in a threatening voice. "I might not love Die like I loved you but he's there for me...for us, when you were too much of a coward to take care of your own responsibility. He sacrificed a lot being with me and I really appreciate it. Especially when it wasn't he place." Once again the room was filled with silence as Kyo tried to find the right words to say.
"Even now you nothing to say. I want you to say that you want to be with again but not because you feel obligated to like with Mana, but because you want to. Even if that means hurting Die. I know he loves me but I would only be hurting him by staying in this relationship and he knows that. But I don't need this." he said walking away. "I just want to go home."
After Shinya left he went to his room and laid down on the bed and dung out his phone, calling Die.
"Hey Shin! What’s up?" said Die.
"Die? Would you be mad if I said that I might want to get back with Kyo?" The line was quiet.
"A little but not much. I always knew that you couldn't love me like you do him. I'm just glad you let me into you life." More silence. "So are you going to get back with him?"
"I don't know Die. I want to but I don't to hurt you more than I already have. That and I don't know if he wants to."
"It would hurt me more if we were dating but only because you felt you had to ya know? I don't want us together and all you can think about is Kyo so if he wants to get back with you then go for it but think about it long and hard before you do. I don't want you to get your heart broken again and then you come running to me. I don't want to be a last resort. I want you to be with me because you love me ok? Not Kyo." he said softly.
"Thank you Die. And I'm sorry if it came off that way. I don't want you thinking that you were a last resort. The thought of us dating never crossed my mind to tell you the truth but then you asked and I didn't want to say 'no.' It felt good hearing some one say they love me and mean it. Maybe it was because I was so vulnerable at the time.
"Yea...that was my fault. I should have waited until you were feeling better."
"Well anyway, I'm tired so I'm gonna take a nap. We'll be leaving early in the morning tomorrow so I still have to pack my stuff up. Me and Mana went out shopping and bought a lot of baby stuff."
"OH NO! Not more baby stuff?! Shinya you have enough stuff already. We're running out of room here."
"Well if Totchi is moving out we can just turn his room into a storage room for the time being. I know your dad isn't going to let me stay there for too much longer now that Totchi is gone. I have to start looking for my own place. I saved up enough money for a studio and maybe 2 months rent."
"You know you can stay with me Shin. Even if you choose Kyo."
"OH YEA! I forgot you had your own place."
"Yea, did you forget that I was just visiting?" said Die.
"I did actually." Shinya said embarrassed.
"Well go get your stuff ready Shin. You'll probably leave super early if he wants to be back by night."
"Ok. Thanks again Die for understanding."
"Yea yea. I'll see you later. Love you."
"I love you too. Bye." he said and ended the call.
He got out of bed and started to pack his stuff. After he was finished he went downstairs to get something to eat when he saw Kyo lying on the couch. He walked over to wake him up when he saw tear streaks going down his face. 'What were you crying for?'
"Kyo? Kyo wake up. You'll catch cold sleeping out here. Get in the bed."
"Ngh...Shin?"
"Yea, get up." Kyo sat up and rubbed his face.
"Shin? Can you sit down? I need to talk to you about us." Shinya sat down, legs spread, stomach poking out, leaning against the pillows behind him.
"After you left I thought about what you said and your right. I was a real bastard to do that to you, and Mana. And I'm truly sorry that I told you to get an abortion. I really glad you didn't listen to. I should have been there since day 1 and I'm sorry. I want to make it right but I don't know where to start. It's true that I don’t love Mana like I love you and I never will. It really hurt me to let you go because I finally met somebody that understood me and didn't judge me like everybody else. Then when Mana told me that he was pregnant I felt like shit. I didn't want to abandon him. He's been through enough. I know Kanon will be safe here but I'm scared he will relapse and go after her again.
"Kyo, he doesn't need you anymore. He's fine now, even I can see that and I've only seen him like that once."
"Even if I did leave him he has Kozi to help him. I know he loves Kozi and Kozi loves him. Me being here is just driving them apart. Plus if Mana does relapse again, Kozi can bring him out of it, without the drugs. I still don't know how he does it."
"That's nice and all Kyo but what does that have to do with us?"
"I love you Shinya for real but..." Shinya looked away to hid the tears.
"But you don't want to be with me..." he finished. Kyo looked at him as he heard the words come out of Shinya's mouth.
"No! I do! I'm just scared you'll say 'no."
"Not if you really mean it." Kyo gave him small smile and held his hand.
"I mean it. I want to be in your life...their's too." he said, his other hand going down to his enlarged belly.
"That’s all I wanted to hear. Thank you. I love you Kyo."
"I love you too" he said then kissed Shinya deeply.
"Well it's about time!" They both jumped and turned to the noise. It was Mana.
"I wasn't sure how long this cheesy soap opera was going to go on for. I'm glad for you both. Now let’s go out for dinner to celebrate!"
A/N: Sorry for the long wait you guys!! It's a lot longer then the last one but a bit more depressing and boring. On the plus side Mana is getting better and is happier without Kyo and that means Shinya can have him all to himself now...maybe. Anyway tell me what you think!
Author: cream4me
Genre: AU, angst, male/male
Fandom: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Pairing: Kyo x Shinya, Kyo x Mana
Overall Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They are real people too, or at least that’s what my therapists says. So no I guess I only own them in my mind
Summary: Shinya was thrown on the streets; force to live with is best friend. He needed help but didn’t know where to turn to for help. Luckily he didn’t have to go far to find his knight in shinnying armor but will he regret his decision and go back to the one person who manage to ruin his life in only one day?
Warning: Homosexuality and mpreg
Chapter ten
Throughout the entire day Shinya had to suffer seeing Kyo and Mana be lovely dovey in front of him. He knew that Mana was doing it on purpose but he didn't know why. They were now sitting at home after a tiring day of serious shopping. "I'm gonna go put her down for her nap." said Kyo.
"Remember to put her on her stomach this time Kyo." scolded Mana. Kyo waved him off and went upstairs to the nursery.
"Shinya what's wrong?" asked Mana. They boy shook his head and sat on the quiet the couch.
"I know something is wrong. What is it?"
"Mana? A-are you in love with Kyo?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because, today you guys were acting like the perfect couple and I could never get him to do that with me. No matter what I tried."
"The answer to your question is no. And he knows that." said Mana. Shinya looked at him with a confused look on his face.
"Kyo...he feels like he needs to be with me. He doesn't think I can raise Kanon by myself or more like he doesn't trust me to be around her. I know I can have my little episodes but I'm fine on my own and I can take care of her without his help. I was doing it all by myself before the incident happened. He could have cared less about her until then and I will always resent him for that no matter what." Shinya stayed quiet not knowing what to say. Kyo came back into the room and felt the awkward silence between them and wanted to get away from it.
"Kyo, when do you plan on leaving?"
"Tomorrow actually. I wasn't able to get enough time off from work. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. Well I'm going to go take a nap. I'll see you in guys in a little while." They waited for him to leave the room before either one of them said anything.
"Kyo? What is the reason that you’re still with Mana? Are in love with him?" Kyo went to sit next to Shinya.
"No not really. I mean yeah I love him but I'm not in love with him. It's more like I'm here for Kanon. I know I wasn't there for her or Mana when she was born and I want to make up for lost time. And I know he doesn't want me here but until I know Kanon will be safe with him I'm not leaving. Whether he like it or not."
"Why weren't you there with him when she was born?"
"I wasn't expecting her to born at 7 months. That and I was with you still..." Shinya lowered his head at his words. He knew what he meant and he felt ashamed for it. He still felt like he meant nothing to Kyo when he heard him talk like that.
"Why didn't you just break up with me instead of cheating on me? Why did you make me feel like you actually loved me when really I was just a toy?"
"Shinya you know that's not true. I did love you at one point but I don't know what happened."
"I guess Mana was more important than me right?" Shinya said sarcastically.
"Shinya you know that’s not--"
"Whatever Kyo..." he started, cutting Kyo off.”It doesn't matter anymore, I have Die now." he said getting up. Hearing Shinya mention Die again sparked anger in Kyo. He rushed up and grabbed Shinya by the arm roughly and forced him to look at him.
"Why are you even dating him anyway?!" he yelled. Shinya tried to jerk his arm out of Kyo's vice grip.
"Stop, you’re hurting me!" he said, his eyes watering.
"Tell me! I know you don't love him."
"Yes I do now let me go!"
"No! Not until you tell me why."
"Stop Kyo. I don't need this kind of stress. You could hurt the babies." Hearing this Kyo let go and backed away, still feeling the need to grab him. "Why do you care so much anyway? If I mattered to you that much you wouldn't have left. No matter what the situation." he said, now crying. "Do you know how many times I stayed up crying for you?!" he said between sobs. "I wanted you to come back to me so bad that I actually made an appointment for an abortion, thinking that maybe you'll come back. If it wasn't for Totchi I would have done it."
"Shin, I'm sorry I told you to get rid of it."
"No your not! If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have never said it..."he said in a threatening voice. "I might not love Die like I loved you but he's there for me...for us, when you were too much of a coward to take care of your own responsibility. He sacrificed a lot being with me and I really appreciate it. Especially when it wasn't he place." Once again the room was filled with silence as Kyo tried to find the right words to say.
"Even now you nothing to say. I want you to say that you want to be with again but not because you feel obligated to like with Mana, but because you want to. Even if that means hurting Die. I know he loves me but I would only be hurting him by staying in this relationship and he knows that. But I don't need this." he said walking away. "I just want to go home."
After Shinya left he went to his room and laid down on the bed and dung out his phone, calling Die.
"Hey Shin! What’s up?" said Die.
"Die? Would you be mad if I said that I might want to get back with Kyo?" The line was quiet.
"A little but not much. I always knew that you couldn't love me like you do him. I'm just glad you let me into you life." More silence. "So are you going to get back with him?"
"I don't know Die. I want to but I don't to hurt you more than I already have. That and I don't know if he wants to."
"It would hurt me more if we were dating but only because you felt you had to ya know? I don't want us together and all you can think about is Kyo so if he wants to get back with you then go for it but think about it long and hard before you do. I don't want you to get your heart broken again and then you come running to me. I don't want to be a last resort. I want you to be with me because you love me ok? Not Kyo." he said softly.
"Thank you Die. And I'm sorry if it came off that way. I don't want you thinking that you were a last resort. The thought of us dating never crossed my mind to tell you the truth but then you asked and I didn't want to say 'no.' It felt good hearing some one say they love me and mean it. Maybe it was because I was so vulnerable at the time.
"Yea...that was my fault. I should have waited until you were feeling better."
"Well anyway, I'm tired so I'm gonna take a nap. We'll be leaving early in the morning tomorrow so I still have to pack my stuff up. Me and Mana went out shopping and bought a lot of baby stuff."
"OH NO! Not more baby stuff?! Shinya you have enough stuff already. We're running out of room here."
"Well if Totchi is moving out we can just turn his room into a storage room for the time being. I know your dad isn't going to let me stay there for too much longer now that Totchi is gone. I have to start looking for my own place. I saved up enough money for a studio and maybe 2 months rent."
"You know you can stay with me Shin. Even if you choose Kyo."
"OH YEA! I forgot you had your own place."
"Yea, did you forget that I was just visiting?" said Die.
"I did actually." Shinya said embarrassed.
"Well go get your stuff ready Shin. You'll probably leave super early if he wants to be back by night."
"Ok. Thanks again Die for understanding."
"Yea yea. I'll see you later. Love you."
"I love you too. Bye." he said and ended the call.
He got out of bed and started to pack his stuff. After he was finished he went downstairs to get something to eat when he saw Kyo lying on the couch. He walked over to wake him up when he saw tear streaks going down his face. 'What were you crying for?'
"Kyo? Kyo wake up. You'll catch cold sleeping out here. Get in the bed."
"Ngh...Shin?"
"Yea, get up." Kyo sat up and rubbed his face.
"Shin? Can you sit down? I need to talk to you about us." Shinya sat down, legs spread, stomach poking out, leaning against the pillows behind him.
"After you left I thought about what you said and your right. I was a real bastard to do that to you, and Mana. And I'm truly sorry that I told you to get an abortion. I really glad you didn't listen to. I should have been there since day 1 and I'm sorry. I want to make it right but I don't know where to start. It's true that I don’t love Mana like I love you and I never will. It really hurt me to let you go because I finally met somebody that understood me and didn't judge me like everybody else. Then when Mana told me that he was pregnant I felt like shit. I didn't want to abandon him. He's been through enough. I know Kanon will be safe here but I'm scared he will relapse and go after her again.
"Kyo, he doesn't need you anymore. He's fine now, even I can see that and I've only seen him like that once."
"Even if I did leave him he has Kozi to help him. I know he loves Kozi and Kozi loves him. Me being here is just driving them apart. Plus if Mana does relapse again, Kozi can bring him out of it, without the drugs. I still don't know how he does it."
"That's nice and all Kyo but what does that have to do with us?"
"I love you Shinya for real but..." Shinya looked away to hid the tears.
"But you don't want to be with me..." he finished. Kyo looked at him as he heard the words come out of Shinya's mouth.
"No! I do! I'm just scared you'll say 'no."
"Not if you really mean it." Kyo gave him small smile and held his hand.
"I mean it. I want to be in your life...their's too." he said, his other hand going down to his enlarged belly.
"That’s all I wanted to hear. Thank you. I love you Kyo."
"I love you too" he said then kissed Shinya deeply.
"Well it's about time!" They both jumped and turned to the noise. It was Mana.
"I wasn't sure how long this cheesy soap opera was going to go on for. I'm glad for you both. Now let’s go out for dinner to celebrate!"
A/N: Sorry for the long wait you guys!! It's a lot longer then the last one but a bit more depressing and boring. On the plus side Mana is getting better and is happier without Kyo and that means Shinya can have him all to himself now...maybe. Anyway tell me what you think!