fic: "Stockholm Syndrome"
Title: Stockholm Syndrome
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Peter/Adam/Elle
Rating: PG - 13 (for one F-word)
Summary: He knows he shouldn't miss them, but he still does
AN: Ooh, this one's been a while...
He knows he shouldn't miss them, but he still does. He muses it must be something like Stockholm syndrome, that he still craves the people who used him, but that doesn't take away the fact that his body wants to feel the unusual combination of Adam and Elle.
At night, he dreams of strong arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him, keeping him safe and telling him nothing in the world can harm him. He still can smell chamomile shampoo and roses, combined with soft long hair on his chest, the occasional giggle escaping cute pink lips and slender fingers entwined in his.
Adam manipulated him into falsely believing he had the key to safe the world. He talked, he promised and, like everything coming out of his mouth, Peter believed him blindingly. But he dreams of those lips elsewhere, promises and proclamations turned into gasps and breathed curses, puffs of air ghosting over his skin as Peter lies in Adam's arms and pretends the world doesn't exist.
He'd always known Elle was dangerous, potentially so much more dangerous than he is. Because he knows that she simply doesn't care. She wouldn't care, but he's always refused to think she didn't care about him. She's tried to kill him more than once, but both she and he know that she can't. And he sticks to the belief that that makes it less vicious. In his arms, she did care.
He's thought about finding Adam, but he knows it's impossible. He hasn't asked Hiro what he did to him, and he won't ask for fear that he would tell him and Peter knows - once he knows - he won't be able to resist searching. And searching would eventually lead to finding and Peter doesn't trust himself enough for that. He won't be able to resist either killing Adam permanently - he figures, if one man can do it, he can - or fall to his knees and beg the man to fuck him into oblivion then and there.
He doesn't go looking.
He's thought about finding Elle, but he knows that would lead in her trying to catch him again. His body craves for her, but his mind isn't really willing to deal with the consequences of that, because having her, means going back to being locked up inside the Company. He watched her looking for him, while hiding around the corner. He knows it's immensely stupid that he puts himself in danger like that, but now that the Haitian isn't working with her anymore, he can hide in plain sight. It's been almost a month since he and Adam escaped the Company and the determination that she still hasn't stopped looking intrigues him even more to see what she would do, should she find him. He's been close to just stepping out and see what she would do, but he hasn't yet. He knows he can't.
Nathan thinks he can save the world and that there's not one evil bone in his body.
His brother doesn't know anything.
He's spent weeks checking in on his brother, seeing if his blood really did heal him completely and feeling for himself that Nathan was fine and safe and there. It was easy to slip back into his old routines of being a younger brother. Easy to forget what he'd done when Nathan asked him to come sit with him on the bed and hold his hand and believe that everything will be okay.
But it won't ever be okay again. Nathan's been shot. His brother was almost killed for what he was about to announce to the world and all Peter can think of is looking for Elle or Adam. All he dreams of is whether the risk of actually finding them is worth everything.
It can't be, but it is close.