Supernatural Reverse-Bang Fill- "Take Two" (4/5)
Art Prompt Title: Untitled
Art link: Art Masterlist
Prompt Number: 1016
Artist: Farfadine
Fic Title: Take Two
Author: crazybeagle
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural Humor/Angst/Hurt-comfort
Pairing(s): Gen, none (Characters: Castiel, Ruby, Dean, Sam, Bobby)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 13,750
Warnings: Language, allusions to torture and violence, psychological trauma
Summary: AU of 7.02. The Leviathans and the souls destroyed each other. But Dean, Sam, and Bobby know that things are never that simple. They know it for a fact when they find two dark-haired children, one wearing face of a former friend and one wearing the face of a former enemy, lying on the panic room floor....
Take Two
Chapter 4
When Ruby came to the door of the first bedroom, she heard an odd sound. Muttering.
She waited a moment, peeking into the bedroom, her face splitting into a wide grin at what she saw there.
Sam was pacing back and forth, a switchblade drawn, brandishing it in the air and talking to nobody. She couldn't see his face very well, but there was an air of desperation in his movements, an edge of hysteria in his voice.
"What do you want from me?" he was saying now, the knife glinting as he swung it towards the mirror. He laughed. The sound was manic. "You're not…you're not here. Leave."
Oh, this was just too good.
She stepped into the room, cleared her throat daintily.
Only to have him round on her, knife raised, with a strangled yell.
And she had to admit, for a second, it was fucking terrifying. She backed up several steps, a gasp escaping her own throat, clutching the door frame with one hand before she recovered. Back when she'd been in her five-foot-whatever body-bodies-he'd towered over her enough, but at three-foot-something?
Hot damn. It was enough to make her shit her princess panties.
Not that, aside from the whole huge thing, he wasn't completely pitiful. Because he was.
Obviously.
She let out a breath, regaining her composure, and smoothed out the front of her t-shirt. Sam lowered the weapon, but his grip didn't loosen any, and he the way he was looking at her…priceless.
Like he was afraid she was about to eat his face off or something.
She was familiar enough with what Hell could do to the brain-there was a good chance he was probably seeing maggots crawling out of her eye sockets and a hatchet in her hand. Something like that.
She tilted her head a bit. "Who isn't here, Sam?" she asked, lightly.
"Go away," he said.
"Or what?" she asked, flouncing right past him and crawling up onto the bed, where a cluster of Target bags sat. "You afraid I'm gonna crash your mad tea party?"
Sam didn't answer. She saw the fingers of his left hand twitch towards the bandaged part.
"Who is it, anyway?" She perched on the edge of the bed, grinning conspiratorially. "Is it him?" She didn't know for sure, but she'd overheard Dean and Bobby having a good few hushed conversations whenever Sam wasn't around about him.
"I'll take that as a yes," she said, when Sam just glared. His eyes looked bruised and slightly bloodshot-she wondered vaguely how much sleep, if any, he'd gotten recently. She swung her feet a little, her bare heels brushing against a tattered bed skirt. "So who is it?" she asked. "Is it him?"
Sam didn't answer for a long time. His gaze was level with a spot in the air a few feet in front of him, and he seemed to be listening to something. Then he turned back towards her, an odd expression on his face. Almost a smile.
"Yes."
"Good," she said, a little creeped out by that smile though damn if she'd let it show. "I'm glad. Tell him hi for me."
The weird smile grew a little wider, almost triumphant. "You should know, though…" he began.
"What?" Her feet stopped swinging.
"You should know what he really thinks of you."
Her stomach did a little flip flop at that. She ignored it. "And what's that?" She lifted her chin.
"You're garbage to him. Always were. And-" he cut off and flinched, as if he'd been struck, but swallowed and continued. "And it doesn't matter if you know that now, I guess, because what's he gonna do about it now?"
"You're lying." She didn't look at him. Her fists clenched by her sides.
"You know I'm not."
Her insides felt a little cold, but she pressed on. "Do I?" she sneered. "I was loyal. If it weren't for you, I would've helped him build a new world. But you? You locked him in a box. You deserve everything you got. And it is fucking priceless that he's still right there in your brain giving it to you, too."
Sam flinched again, but was making a visible effort to keep it together long enough to get his next words out. "If he'd gotten what he wanted, you would've been the first to go. Both of us would have. He hates humans, and demons more. You think he would've made any exceptions for a species that disgusts him? We were pawns."
"Shut up," she said in a low voice. She'd had a biting retort planned, something along the lines of Well the I'd just have killed him first, but for some stupid reason it'd died on her tongue. Her vision was blurring. Which was so fucking stupid because no matter what she'd seen in Cas's head he was wrong, he was wrong, he had to be- "Shut up," she repeated, swiping an angry fist over her eyes.
He still looked freaked out, and his eyes kept darting between Ruby and that spot in front of him, but he also seemed-marginally-triumphant. Bastard. Anger, and something else, something that closed up her throat and made her eyes sting, were roiling around inside of her, and she was powerless to stop it. And God did she hate it.
"So what have you two been up to, huh?" she asked abruptly, changing tactics, her head snapping up. "'Cause I feel kinda left out here, and I'm dying to know.
"None of your damn business," he said tightly, all traces of smugness melting off his face, jaw working as he stared straight ahead once more.
"You know I hope it's meat hooks," she said with a grin. "Personal favorite of mine."
Sam didn't answer, but his body froze, his breath catching. His eyes darted around, widening, as though he'd suddenly visualized just what she'd said.
Ruby snorted. "Power of suggestion's a beautiful thing, huh?" She planted a hand on her hip and smiled wryly up at him. "Oh man, if that's how this works, this could be fun. Hmmm…." She considered for a second. "Oh, I've got a good one. What about…" she took her time with the words, watching him watch her. "How 'bout hellhounds?" She laughed when she saw an involuntary fine tremor run through his body, and she wondered if he could hear growling.
His eyes snapped shut. "Leave," he ground out through clenched teeth. "Now."
"Oh, but I was just getting started," she said in mock disappointment. "I had all kinds of fun suggestions. Like how about-"
"Enough," came a voice from the doorway. They both wheeled around. It was Cas. His eyes flashed with an anger near superhuman at Ruby, and for all that he was only four-foot-something standing there, she had to say that if she hadn't known for a fact he was harmless, and that even like this she probably could've kicked his remorseful little ass, she would've been sort of intimidated by him. "Stop it," he leveled a glare at her. "Now."
She crossed her arms. "And what are you, his white knight or something?" she scoffed.
"Get your clothes, and leave," Cas said steadily.
"Or what?" she said, her own eyes challenging. "What are you gonna do to me? Snap your fingers and blow me up like one of those preachers? Or are you gonna break my head like you did his?" she jabbed a thumb in Sam's direction. Sam was watching Cas, looking a little wary. "'Cause let me tell you, it's cute that you're telling me to stop when it's you who did the damage here."
Cas opened his mouth to reply, but sounds from the hall behind him-heavy footfalls on the stairs-made them all freeze. Dean, probably.
"If that's Dean I suggest you leave," Cas said shortly.
And she hated to admit it but he had a point. She wasn't entirely convinced that he wouldn't change his mind about not harming her if she pushed the envelope too far, especially when it came to Sam. "Whatever," she snapped, pushing past Sam and crawling up onto the bed, angrily rifling through the bags and pulling out clothing at random. Anger burned hot just under her skin, mixed with more of that stupid chokey feeling that seemed to have flared back up for no apparent reason.
In the tense silence that followed while she tore clothing from the bags, she heard Cas clear his throat, awkwardly. "Sam-"
"Just go, Cas," Sam muttered.
A pause. "Alright."
He must have left, because when she turned back around with an armful of clothes, it was Dean who was standing in the doorway, eyes narrowing in suspicion when he saw her. "What are you-"
"Fuck you." She got up, crossed the room swiftly, and pushed past him into the hall.
Ten minutes later, Castiel found Ruby in the bathroom, perched on the toilet seat, her face red and her eyes watery, assaulting the back of her tangled hair with a hairbrush and muttering a low string of curses under her breath. She was dressed properly for the first time, in a bright purple shirt, pastel blue pants, and ruffled white socks, but her hair still appeared to be a hopeless mess.
He glanced her way, but said nothing as he stood on tiptoe to reach for his toothbrush on the counter, carefully squeezing out the bright blue paste onto the bristles as Bobby had showed him how to do last night.
By the time he'd finished, spitting the last of the toothpaste into the dingy sink, Ruby seemed to have given up on her hair, hunched over on the toilet with her head in her hands, the red plastic brush hanging tangled in her hair down near the small of her back.
When he didn't leave right away, she took her face out of her hands and shot him a venomous glare, though her eyes were red and a little puffy. "Take a picture, it'll last longer, asshole."
Not sure what any of that meant, he ignored her. "That wasn't wise. Taunting Sam."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't even-"
"I mean it," he said, coldly, cutting her off. "Fortunately for you it was me instead of Dean who walked in on you, for your own safety's sake."
"Please," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Like he'd really kill a little girl."
"You're not a little girl," Castiel told her. "Although…" he considered her demeanor, the angry tears she'd barely been able to conceal. "You're beginning to feel like one, aren't you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped, grabbing at the hair brush and tugging it.
"What Sam said about Lucifer," he said. He was almost certain he was wasting his time in speaking to her at all, particularly about this, but he was curious nonetheless. "You're beginning to…feel. Acutely. In a way you could not before. Doubt. Betrayal. Pain."
She made a dismissive noise and yanked at the brush halfheartedly. "All I'm feeling are my hair follicles getting ripped out of my scalp."
He ignored her again. "And it's because you know he was right."
She was silent. Then, "Leave me alone." There was not nearly as much heat to her words as he'd expected. Her voice was….oddly small.
"You know what I know. You've seen what I've seen," he pressed. "You know what would've become of you. You'd have been just as worthless as the others."
Then, suddenly, she'd hopped down from the toilet seat and was standing inches in front of him, her eyes flashing furiously, a finger jabbing into his chest. "And what makes so damn sure you know him so well, huh?" her voice was shrill, on the verge of hysterics. "Of course he'd have wanted you to think that your enemies were also his enemies. He isn't stupid, Castiel."
"He is also not loyal to any being in the universe other than himself," Castiel said mildly. A second later he found himself being slammed against the bathroom wall, her hands on his shoulders. He took her hands off his shoulders, gripping her small wrists so that she couldn't land any blows. She glared daggers at him, her shoulders heaving with each hard breath she took. "And Sam saw through his ruses. That's why he fought him in the end," he persisted, holding her wrists steady when she tried to wrench away from him.
"And that's why he killed me, huh?" she hissed.
"Yes," Castiel said simply.
She scowled at him, but her eyes were wet again. She finally managed to yank a wrist away, and he let her, watching her impatiently swipe the back of her hand over her eyes.
"It's funny, all this coming from you," she said, voice shaky but full of venom nonetheless. "General consensus with you people is I was Lucifer's pawn, but Sam and Dean were your pawns, weren't they, O Cas Almighty?"
"I never said they weren't." It wasn't exactly easy to hear, the parallel between himself and Lucifer, but now that she was saying it, it was painfully clear. "And this is another reason I know you yourself were a pawn. My motives were in essence the same as his."
"Too bad that didn't work out for ya," she said, scathingly. "And here you are eating mac and cheese at their dinner table like nothing ever happened."
"I don't expect them to forget," Castiel said, quietly. "And I don't expect forgiveness."
"Oh, don't be a fucking martyr about it," Ruby muttered, returning to the toilet seat and finally working the brush free with both hands.
"It's merely fact," Cas said. "And it's also a fact that I would've kept going if it weren't for the Leviathans. Dean and Sam know it, and so do I."
"Then why the hell are you sticking around here for, anyway?" Ruby brushed furiously at a knot. "They aren't keeping you prisoner or anything, and I know they're just thrilled to see you."
And Castiel found himself without an answer. Ruby grinned, a little smug, when he found himself at a loss for words. "I see."
He was about to turn to go when it finally hit him, and the words were out before he realized it. "A second chance," he said.
Ruby sniggered. "A what?"
He turned, slowly. Though it had just become clear to him, he wasn't quite sure how to articulate it so that an ex-demon would understand it. Not that she would care, anyhow. "I can't undo what I've done," he said. "And I don't seek absolution. But I've got another chance now, an opportunity to not fail them again. And I intend to take it."
"You sound like a fucking Hallmark card."
He shrugged. "You've got a chance now, too, you know."
"A chance to what, exactly?" She raised an eyebrow, looking amused.
"To be spared Hell."
She dropped her gaze. The amusement in her eyes was pushed out by a bleak, distant look, the pain of hell painted onto a child's face. "Yeah," she said. "Like that'll happen."
"I wouldn't squander it."
He left then, but turning out of the bathroom and down the hall towards the stairs, only to be stopped by the sight of Dean, who obviously had not gone back downstairs yet, leaning against the wall near the bathroom. Last Castiel had seen him, he'd been talking to Sam, likely trying to talk him down from Ruby's exacerbation of his…current state. He looked marginally better-rested than he had when Cas had first come here a few days ago, but not by much, his eyes still dull and shadowy.
But it was the way that Dean was looking at him now that made him stop dead in his tracks. He looked confused, guarded, and-though it was hard for Cas to tell-possibly hopeful. All in all, the complete opposite of the sorts of looks that Dean had been giving over the past few days, which admittedly weren't many at all, as they'd tended to avoid one another.
"You heard…" Cas began, pointing vaguely back towards the bathroom door.
"I heard enough," Dean said.
"I suppose it doesn't change anything," Cas said, fighting a very human-and, he was guessing, childish-urge to shuffle his feet and fidget under Dean's scrutiny.
"Yeah, well," Dean said, shrugging, trying and failing to sound indifferent. "We'll see."
Cas nodded, slowly. "Alright."
TBC here.
Previous chapter here.
Art link: Art Masterlist
Prompt Number: 1016
Artist: Farfadine
Fic Title: Take Two
Author: crazybeagle
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural Humor/Angst/Hurt-comfort
Pairing(s): Gen, none (Characters: Castiel, Ruby, Dean, Sam, Bobby)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 13,750
Warnings: Language, allusions to torture and violence, psychological trauma
Summary: AU of 7.02. The Leviathans and the souls destroyed each other. But Dean, Sam, and Bobby know that things are never that simple. They know it for a fact when they find two dark-haired children, one wearing face of a former friend and one wearing the face of a former enemy, lying on the panic room floor....
Take Two
Chapter 4
When Ruby came to the door of the first bedroom, she heard an odd sound. Muttering.
She waited a moment, peeking into the bedroom, her face splitting into a wide grin at what she saw there.
Sam was pacing back and forth, a switchblade drawn, brandishing it in the air and talking to nobody. She couldn't see his face very well, but there was an air of desperation in his movements, an edge of hysteria in his voice.
"What do you want from me?" he was saying now, the knife glinting as he swung it towards the mirror. He laughed. The sound was manic. "You're not…you're not here. Leave."
Oh, this was just too good.
She stepped into the room, cleared her throat daintily.
Only to have him round on her, knife raised, with a strangled yell.
And she had to admit, for a second, it was fucking terrifying. She backed up several steps, a gasp escaping her own throat, clutching the door frame with one hand before she recovered. Back when she'd been in her five-foot-whatever body-bodies-he'd towered over her enough, but at three-foot-something?
Hot damn. It was enough to make her shit her princess panties.
Not that, aside from the whole huge thing, he wasn't completely pitiful. Because he was.
Obviously.
She let out a breath, regaining her composure, and smoothed out the front of her t-shirt. Sam lowered the weapon, but his grip didn't loosen any, and he the way he was looking at her…priceless.
Like he was afraid she was about to eat his face off or something.
She was familiar enough with what Hell could do to the brain-there was a good chance he was probably seeing maggots crawling out of her eye sockets and a hatchet in her hand. Something like that.
She tilted her head a bit. "Who isn't here, Sam?" she asked, lightly.
"Go away," he said.
"Or what?" she asked, flouncing right past him and crawling up onto the bed, where a cluster of Target bags sat. "You afraid I'm gonna crash your mad tea party?"
Sam didn't answer. She saw the fingers of his left hand twitch towards the bandaged part.
"Who is it, anyway?" She perched on the edge of the bed, grinning conspiratorially. "Is it him?" She didn't know for sure, but she'd overheard Dean and Bobby having a good few hushed conversations whenever Sam wasn't around about him.
"I'll take that as a yes," she said, when Sam just glared. His eyes looked bruised and slightly bloodshot-she wondered vaguely how much sleep, if any, he'd gotten recently. She swung her feet a little, her bare heels brushing against a tattered bed skirt. "So who is it?" she asked. "Is it him?"
Sam didn't answer for a long time. His gaze was level with a spot in the air a few feet in front of him, and he seemed to be listening to something. Then he turned back towards her, an odd expression on his face. Almost a smile.
"Yes."
"Good," she said, a little creeped out by that smile though damn if she'd let it show. "I'm glad. Tell him hi for me."
The weird smile grew a little wider, almost triumphant. "You should know, though…" he began.
"What?" Her feet stopped swinging.
"You should know what he really thinks of you."
Her stomach did a little flip flop at that. She ignored it. "And what's that?" She lifted her chin.
"You're garbage to him. Always were. And-" he cut off and flinched, as if he'd been struck, but swallowed and continued. "And it doesn't matter if you know that now, I guess, because what's he gonna do about it now?"
"You're lying." She didn't look at him. Her fists clenched by her sides.
"You know I'm not."
Her insides felt a little cold, but she pressed on. "Do I?" she sneered. "I was loyal. If it weren't for you, I would've helped him build a new world. But you? You locked him in a box. You deserve everything you got. And it is fucking priceless that he's still right there in your brain giving it to you, too."
Sam flinched again, but was making a visible effort to keep it together long enough to get his next words out. "If he'd gotten what he wanted, you would've been the first to go. Both of us would have. He hates humans, and demons more. You think he would've made any exceptions for a species that disgusts him? We were pawns."
"Shut up," she said in a low voice. She'd had a biting retort planned, something along the lines of Well the I'd just have killed him first, but for some stupid reason it'd died on her tongue. Her vision was blurring. Which was so fucking stupid because no matter what she'd seen in Cas's head he was wrong, he was wrong, he had to be- "Shut up," she repeated, swiping an angry fist over her eyes.
He still looked freaked out, and his eyes kept darting between Ruby and that spot in front of him, but he also seemed-marginally-triumphant. Bastard. Anger, and something else, something that closed up her throat and made her eyes sting, were roiling around inside of her, and she was powerless to stop it. And God did she hate it.
"So what have you two been up to, huh?" she asked abruptly, changing tactics, her head snapping up. "'Cause I feel kinda left out here, and I'm dying to know.
"None of your damn business," he said tightly, all traces of smugness melting off his face, jaw working as he stared straight ahead once more.
"You know I hope it's meat hooks," she said with a grin. "Personal favorite of mine."
Sam didn't answer, but his body froze, his breath catching. His eyes darted around, widening, as though he'd suddenly visualized just what she'd said.
Ruby snorted. "Power of suggestion's a beautiful thing, huh?" She planted a hand on her hip and smiled wryly up at him. "Oh man, if that's how this works, this could be fun. Hmmm…." She considered for a second. "Oh, I've got a good one. What about…" she took her time with the words, watching him watch her. "How 'bout hellhounds?" She laughed when she saw an involuntary fine tremor run through his body, and she wondered if he could hear growling.
His eyes snapped shut. "Leave," he ground out through clenched teeth. "Now."
"Oh, but I was just getting started," she said in mock disappointment. "I had all kinds of fun suggestions. Like how about-"
"Enough," came a voice from the doorway. They both wheeled around. It was Cas. His eyes flashed with an anger near superhuman at Ruby, and for all that he was only four-foot-something standing there, she had to say that if she hadn't known for a fact he was harmless, and that even like this she probably could've kicked his remorseful little ass, she would've been sort of intimidated by him. "Stop it," he leveled a glare at her. "Now."
She crossed her arms. "And what are you, his white knight or something?" she scoffed.
"Get your clothes, and leave," Cas said steadily.
"Or what?" she said, her own eyes challenging. "What are you gonna do to me? Snap your fingers and blow me up like one of those preachers? Or are you gonna break my head like you did his?" she jabbed a thumb in Sam's direction. Sam was watching Cas, looking a little wary. "'Cause let me tell you, it's cute that you're telling me to stop when it's you who did the damage here."
Cas opened his mouth to reply, but sounds from the hall behind him-heavy footfalls on the stairs-made them all freeze. Dean, probably.
"If that's Dean I suggest you leave," Cas said shortly.
And she hated to admit it but he had a point. She wasn't entirely convinced that he wouldn't change his mind about not harming her if she pushed the envelope too far, especially when it came to Sam. "Whatever," she snapped, pushing past Sam and crawling up onto the bed, angrily rifling through the bags and pulling out clothing at random. Anger burned hot just under her skin, mixed with more of that stupid chokey feeling that seemed to have flared back up for no apparent reason.
In the tense silence that followed while she tore clothing from the bags, she heard Cas clear his throat, awkwardly. "Sam-"
"Just go, Cas," Sam muttered.
A pause. "Alright."
He must have left, because when she turned back around with an armful of clothes, it was Dean who was standing in the doorway, eyes narrowing in suspicion when he saw her. "What are you-"
"Fuck you." She got up, crossed the room swiftly, and pushed past him into the hall.
Ten minutes later, Castiel found Ruby in the bathroom, perched on the toilet seat, her face red and her eyes watery, assaulting the back of her tangled hair with a hairbrush and muttering a low string of curses under her breath. She was dressed properly for the first time, in a bright purple shirt, pastel blue pants, and ruffled white socks, but her hair still appeared to be a hopeless mess.
He glanced her way, but said nothing as he stood on tiptoe to reach for his toothbrush on the counter, carefully squeezing out the bright blue paste onto the bristles as Bobby had showed him how to do last night.
By the time he'd finished, spitting the last of the toothpaste into the dingy sink, Ruby seemed to have given up on her hair, hunched over on the toilet with her head in her hands, the red plastic brush hanging tangled in her hair down near the small of her back.
When he didn't leave right away, she took her face out of her hands and shot him a venomous glare, though her eyes were red and a little puffy. "Take a picture, it'll last longer, asshole."
Not sure what any of that meant, he ignored her. "That wasn't wise. Taunting Sam."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't even-"
"I mean it," he said, coldly, cutting her off. "Fortunately for you it was me instead of Dean who walked in on you, for your own safety's sake."
"Please," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Like he'd really kill a little girl."
"You're not a little girl," Castiel told her. "Although…" he considered her demeanor, the angry tears she'd barely been able to conceal. "You're beginning to feel like one, aren't you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped, grabbing at the hair brush and tugging it.
"What Sam said about Lucifer," he said. He was almost certain he was wasting his time in speaking to her at all, particularly about this, but he was curious nonetheless. "You're beginning to…feel. Acutely. In a way you could not before. Doubt. Betrayal. Pain."
She made a dismissive noise and yanked at the brush halfheartedly. "All I'm feeling are my hair follicles getting ripped out of my scalp."
He ignored her again. "And it's because you know he was right."
She was silent. Then, "Leave me alone." There was not nearly as much heat to her words as he'd expected. Her voice was….oddly small.
"You know what I know. You've seen what I've seen," he pressed. "You know what would've become of you. You'd have been just as worthless as the others."
Then, suddenly, she'd hopped down from the toilet seat and was standing inches in front of him, her eyes flashing furiously, a finger jabbing into his chest. "And what makes so damn sure you know him so well, huh?" her voice was shrill, on the verge of hysterics. "Of course he'd have wanted you to think that your enemies were also his enemies. He isn't stupid, Castiel."
"He is also not loyal to any being in the universe other than himself," Castiel said mildly. A second later he found himself being slammed against the bathroom wall, her hands on his shoulders. He took her hands off his shoulders, gripping her small wrists so that she couldn't land any blows. She glared daggers at him, her shoulders heaving with each hard breath she took. "And Sam saw through his ruses. That's why he fought him in the end," he persisted, holding her wrists steady when she tried to wrench away from him.
"And that's why he killed me, huh?" she hissed.
"Yes," Castiel said simply.
She scowled at him, but her eyes were wet again. She finally managed to yank a wrist away, and he let her, watching her impatiently swipe the back of her hand over her eyes.
"It's funny, all this coming from you," she said, voice shaky but full of venom nonetheless. "General consensus with you people is I was Lucifer's pawn, but Sam and Dean were your pawns, weren't they, O Cas Almighty?"
"I never said they weren't." It wasn't exactly easy to hear, the parallel between himself and Lucifer, but now that she was saying it, it was painfully clear. "And this is another reason I know you yourself were a pawn. My motives were in essence the same as his."
"Too bad that didn't work out for ya," she said, scathingly. "And here you are eating mac and cheese at their dinner table like nothing ever happened."
"I don't expect them to forget," Castiel said, quietly. "And I don't expect forgiveness."
"Oh, don't be a fucking martyr about it," Ruby muttered, returning to the toilet seat and finally working the brush free with both hands.
"It's merely fact," Cas said. "And it's also a fact that I would've kept going if it weren't for the Leviathans. Dean and Sam know it, and so do I."
"Then why the hell are you sticking around here for, anyway?" Ruby brushed furiously at a knot. "They aren't keeping you prisoner or anything, and I know they're just thrilled to see you."
And Castiel found himself without an answer. Ruby grinned, a little smug, when he found himself at a loss for words. "I see."
He was about to turn to go when it finally hit him, and the words were out before he realized it. "A second chance," he said.
Ruby sniggered. "A what?"
He turned, slowly. Though it had just become clear to him, he wasn't quite sure how to articulate it so that an ex-demon would understand it. Not that she would care, anyhow. "I can't undo what I've done," he said. "And I don't seek absolution. But I've got another chance now, an opportunity to not fail them again. And I intend to take it."
"You sound like a fucking Hallmark card."
He shrugged. "You've got a chance now, too, you know."
"A chance to what, exactly?" She raised an eyebrow, looking amused.
"To be spared Hell."
She dropped her gaze. The amusement in her eyes was pushed out by a bleak, distant look, the pain of hell painted onto a child's face. "Yeah," she said. "Like that'll happen."
"I wouldn't squander it."
He left then, but turning out of the bathroom and down the hall towards the stairs, only to be stopped by the sight of Dean, who obviously had not gone back downstairs yet, leaning against the wall near the bathroom. Last Castiel had seen him, he'd been talking to Sam, likely trying to talk him down from Ruby's exacerbation of his…current state. He looked marginally better-rested than he had when Cas had first come here a few days ago, but not by much, his eyes still dull and shadowy.
But it was the way that Dean was looking at him now that made him stop dead in his tracks. He looked confused, guarded, and-though it was hard for Cas to tell-possibly hopeful. All in all, the complete opposite of the sorts of looks that Dean had been giving over the past few days, which admittedly weren't many at all, as they'd tended to avoid one another.
"You heard…" Cas began, pointing vaguely back towards the bathroom door.
"I heard enough," Dean said.
"I suppose it doesn't change anything," Cas said, fighting a very human-and, he was guessing, childish-urge to shuffle his feet and fidget under Dean's scrutiny.
"Yeah, well," Dean said, shrugging, trying and failing to sound indifferent. "We'll see."
Cas nodded, slowly. "Alright."
TBC here.
Previous chapter here.