Epic Fight Log
Takes place after Bonecrusher and Tracks are caught making kissy-face outside. I would link to the later BUT THEY HAVE NOT FINISHED IT YET. SADNESS. But in the meantime, you can see what the consequences of it were.
Blackout: -Is sitting on the room's berth, his back resting against the wall while one leg props up along its edge and the other flat against the floor. Inside, the atmosphere is dim, but the glint of something metallic can be seen in one of his hands. It's a set of his rear rotor blades, a finger of his bending a piece until chink, a blade snaps off. Across from him, beside the places entrance, a dead weevil, one of the scarce few he had come across while on his earlier trip to check on Sprinkles, hangs. A rotor was already stabbed through its head to keep the drone in place, and...toss! Now another is embedded in it, this time straight through the insect's back.-
Bonecrusher: *Is coming back to the room itself! Not a bad night. Actually, not a bad series of nights. Everything is pretty good in Bonecrusher land, right now - as long as he takes care not to think about the implicit madness of his current relationships. Bonecrusher is thinking more about getting some actual recharge in a real berth for once as he opens the door and enters the room, a bit oblivious in his mildly (read: very) drunken thoughts to Blackout or anything relating to said mech.*
Blackout: -Swoosh. A rotor blade whips past Bonecrusher's head, grazing a cheek, before it lands firmly into the thoroughly dead weevil. It plants itself in the same spot as the previous one, the force applied to the throw causing it to cut the first in half before it rests in the creature's back. If that little 'greeting' was not warning enough to the mining vehicle, than the helicopter's expression certainly his. His optics are narrowed, red slits.-
Bonecrusher: .... *So much for "honey, I'm home." He's not really phased by the cut on his cheek, or by the weevil as he turns to inspect it, but he keeps himself perfectly neutral. Blackout's in a mood, so he's more likely to get yelled at than recharge. Oh well.* WHAT'S UP?
Blackout: Not much. -His voice is sickly calm, but in that devoid sort of way that implies it is absolutely false since he's feeling anything but that to back it up. Snapcrack goes another blade breaking off in his hand.- Went to visit Sprinkles earlier, actually. Took the scenic route, and I have to say, it was quite enlightening. And yourself? Have fun with your little mistress?
Bonecrusher: STOP BREAKIN' THINGS. *It's more an automatic reaction than anything, but he does mean it, and he lets the door slide close behind him before continuing any sort of conversation. Internally, his mental train of thought it going about 60 mph, repeating "fuck" over and over, but on the outside, he looks still rather calm.* MISTRESS.
Blackout: -Optics flashing once, he makes another shot, the blade striking the creature dead between the eyes.- I have several spares, I assure you... -Though he continues to keep a level tone, it still somehow manages to imply that 'to stab you with' is unsaid somewhere in that statement.- Yes, mistress. I could list off several other names, but I'll keep it simple for you and just say Tracks.
Bonecrusher: *...Slag. If he doesn't say anything, that's basically the same as admitting to it, but he can't think of a thing to say - really, what is there to say?* ........
Blackout: Nothing to say? Not sure where to go with that, hm? -His voice has grown softer, to a near murmur, yet it contains harsher vehemence than ever before. Now his fury starts to show, words flowing like acid.- Then allow me to direct it for you. Maybe pointing out that you have lied to me several times will spark something? Or perhaps bringing up the fact that, once again, you have cheated might give you the right words to say?
Bonecrusher: ....PRIMUS, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? *He sighs and shakes his head, as if trying to clear it.* EITHER I TELL YOU AND YOU FREAK, OR I DON'T AND YOU FREAK. IT'S KIND OF LOSE-LOSE, HERE.
Blackout: I guess it no longer even matters, does it? -Sneers.- You told me it was over between you two, that all those obvious attempts at flirting were fake. -His anger continues to become more obvious; his fist tightening and crumbling the rest of the rotor pieces into scrap.- And before that, you assured me that I would not have to live with this. I was willing to change for you, to ignore this because I didn't think you would so blatantly continue to resort to this atrocity. But you said no. -He's getting to his feet now, frame tense.- I'm getting mixed signals from you, and I dislike being played the fool.
Bonecrusher: DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS TO YOU AND TRACKS? *He snaps out the line, optics narrowing.* I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I TRIED TO STOP IT BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN JUST STOP.
Blackout: Why not? -Snaps right back.- What does that Autobot provide you that makes him so special? -Ok, so he might have sounded jealous there. Only a little bit. Really.-
Bonecrusher: I DON'T KNOW! *The gears in his empty shoulder grind as he clenches his one hand into a fist, glaring at Blackout.* SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW! HE DOESN'T FUCKING PICK AT EVERYTHING I SAY, FOR ONE.
Blackout: -Snorts.- I do not 'pick at', I 'critique'! Nor do I do it about everything. Just when you pull something like this that aggravates me.
Bonecrusher: EVERYTHING AGGRAVATES YOU!
Blackout: MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE ALL YOU EVER DO IS INTERFACE WITH THAT DAMNED SPORTS CAR!
Bonecrusher: DO YOU REALIZE HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EVEN TALKED TO ME BEYOND THE JOURNAL WHEN I WAS HOLED UP AND MISSING AN ARM AND RUNNING LOW ON ENERGON AND WAITING FOR WEEVILS TO BREAK DOWN MY DOOR? COMING TO GET ME MIGHT'VE BEEN HEROIC OF YOU BUT HE ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME!
Blackout: I WAS A LITTLE BUSY TRYING TO FIGHT THROUGH THOSE PUTRID BEASTS. SORRY IF I WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH ACTUALLY GETTING TO YOU TO FREE YOU THAN HOLDING A CONVERSATION - WHICH, FOR THE RECORD, I DID INQUIRE ABOUT YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH.
Bonecrusher: AND BEFORE THAT? WHENEVER I OPEN MY MOUTH ALL I DO IS PISS YOU OFF! AT LEAST I CAN HOLD A FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH TRACKS WITHOUT HIM FUCKING HATING EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF MY VOCALIZER!
Blackout: SO HE HAS LOW STANDARDS, IS THAT IT? JUST BECAUSE I HAVE THE NERVE TO GET UPSET WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO THINK BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MOCKING ME OR YOU USE THE SAME PHRASES WITH EVERYONE ELSE?!
Bonecrusher: *Something flashes in Bonecrusher's expression before it goes very, very cool, fist still clenched tightly.* LOW STANDARDS, HUH.
Blackout: -He pauses, his vents still pumping double time as he physically strains to keep himself under control; a losing battle, to be sure. The expression he wears in return is far from cold, optics locking with the other's and jaw clenched. He had meant those words and he would not be taking them back.- You heard me.
Bonecrusher: SO, YOU GOT LOW STANDARDS TOO, THEN? PUTTING UP WITH ME THIS LONG? *His voice turns to very nearly a purr, optics narrowing further as he paces forward to get nice and close to Blackout.* FIGURED YOU COULD SETTLE?
Blackout: -Looking down at him, the helicopter responds snidely with- Are you complaining? You certainly don't seem picky.
Bonecrusher: THEN YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN ME, HUH. *There's a hint of something in his voice that isn't readily named, but it isn't anger in the slightest.* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ME A FAVOR OR SOMETHING, BEING AROUND ME? PITYING ME ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A RELATIONSHIP?
Blackout: .... -His optics eye the other suspiciously, knowing that the mining vehicle is getting at something, it just has not become exactly clear to him as to what that is, yet.- I don't know the meaning of pity.
Bonecrusher: THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
Blackout: -Fine. Then have a blunt, straight forward- No. I don't think so. -Happy now, Bonbon?-
Bonecrusher: THEN IF I'M JUST SOME FRAGGING MORON WHO CAN'T WATCH HIS MOUTH AND MAKES ALL THESE MISTAKES AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE LOW STANDARDS TO TOLERATE ME WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!
Blackout: -For the first time in their conversation...Blackout finally looks away, it his turn for silence.- ......
Bonecrusher: *He had half expected that, but it's still a lot more painful than he had expected.* Don't start fights with me if you don't even want to be here.
Blackout: That's not it at all! -Hisses, turning back to glare at him.- If I cared so little for you, do you think I would be bothering with this right now? This is a huge deal to me! Because despite your idiocy and messes and other aggravating quirks...I find myself attracted to you anyway. -He almost considers raising a hand to the other's face, but instead his expression hardens and he steps back, really looking at him and letting the other really look at him and really letting themselves just look at one another.- But love obviously is not enough, if I don't even know who it is I'm supposed to be in love with.
Bonecrusher: *Bonecrusher doesn't bother looking anywhere but at Blackout's face, optics still narrowed.* I don't know what I was thinking. I've never been good at one-on-one relationships. I kept saying that I was, like that makes things true, because I wasn't planning on getting into one. And then you... Primus, I don't know what I was thinking.
Bonecrusher: *He steps forward, taking away the space that Blackout had put between them, heaving a sigh and dimming his optics.* Do you even know -- no, you don't. Do you even want to know what you're getting yourself into, the longer you stay around me?
Blackout: I've lasted this long, I imagine it would be prudent to have such information. Then again, I'm under the assumption we don't kill one another in the near future. -Ya know, it's rather difficult to tell if he's joking in part of that.-
Bonecrusher: *He sighs again and moves closer still, stopping when their chestplates touch. He tilts his head against Blackout's shoulder.* Always gonna want to kill each other. *The unspoken "it's part of being a 'Con" should be pretty obvious. He stays like that for a long moment, before finally saying in a rather abrupt manner-* Open up. I'll let you get nice and deep.
Blackout: -Hesitating, he grasps the other's shoulder tightly with one hand and looks down at him. He doesn't appreciate the command, but he complies, gears turning and latches clicking free to reveal his spark.-
Bonecrusher: *He doesn't look up, offlining his optics and drawing in a huge amount of air through his intakes. He doesn't want to do this. This is reserved more for cheap thrills during wartime than for actual attempts at...whatever he expects this to accomplish. His own casing takes a few moments longer to reveal his own spark, but it does in due time, and he takes almost immediate control of the connection that forms between their sparks.*
Bonecrusher: He holds nothing back - not like all the times before, where he had monitored how deep he let Blackout get, giving the helicopter everything but the actual center of his spark. Maybe that had been for the best, once upon a time, but nothing makes sense anymore to him, and he just needs to go with it - so he shows Blackout everything, lets him get as deep as either of them can bear.*
Bonecrusher: *At the heart of him, there is no feeling; there's no remorse over anything he's done, no love or affection or even ambivalence. The only thing in his spark, this deep under the deposits of emotion that have built over the years, is a hatred so raw, so utterly complete that nothing could possibly try to erase it. The only thing Bonecrusher can do to combat it is to hide it under layers of other feelings; the emotions he holds closest are the ones that are rotten and corrupted, guilt and anger merging near completely into that blind hatred, memories associated with both looking warped and distorted through a lens that expresses all feelings in terms of rip and smash and destroy.*
Blackout: -In a matter of speaking, he treads carefully, letting the information come to him rather than directly seeking it out or looking for anything specific. He just absorbs as much as he can, letting it all flow in and process. The more recent, top layers are known to him, save that it's from a different perspective...but as he's permitted to gather more... Unconsciously, his grip tightens on the other mech.-
Bonecrusher: *He's unconsciously digging his claws into Blackout's side, trying to keep from doing something stupid, like letting him get too close to the center of his spark - where all there is, is a feeling of such deep hate that all he can express at this point is how hard it is for him not to just fight, not to just kill, not to just maim and ruin everything around him. And it hurts to let Blackout in this far, because it's so close to just taking him with it and never letting go - his intakes are heaving and he's making quiet keening noises, trying to not do something stupid and let Blackout join all the Autobots who have seen this part of him and have never come back out-*
Blackout: -To him, it's like moving through sludge, or tar, after awhile. This far in is thick and riddled with almost simplistic concepts, but they are...poison. Like any toxin it floods his systems, contaminating every aspect of him and clinging, making it hard to concentrate. But he says nothing, gritting his teeth together so tightly they nearly grind aloud in protest, nor does he give any indication for either of them to pull out of this.-
Bonecrusher: *He pulls back, closes off that part of him because it hurts so badly not to just let his spark take Blackout and corrupt him too, like a virus only so much worse. He pulls back and lets Blackout see something better, something to offset the hate - he lets him see actual emotions, something covering up his insides. He shows him how Tracks makes him feel - shows him the warmth and the calm and that he doesn't have to be afraid to do something stupid around Tracks, because he doesn't dig holes when he's just there, just talking or hanging out or yes, doing other things. There's a painful uncertainty there, though, because he knows it shouldn't be like this and he should hate Tracks or not care about him or something, anything other than this, but it's here and he just doesn't know if he can give up something so...comfortable.*
Blackout: -For a second, he is almost too disorientated after being blocked from experiencing that sort of unadulterated emotion, and after he recovers enough to pay attention again...he somehow finds this more painful than the hate. This...this is like torture. He could never have hoped to prepare himself for this knowledge, having thought he understood only to discover that... Physically flinching, he tries to pull back.-
Bonecrusher: No. *Bonecrusher tightens his hold and moves with Blackout, keeping the connection only to pull up more gradually. The warmth is replaced by a scorching heat, Bonecrusher's claws tightening on Blackout as he groans, the calm disrupted by confusion and wariness and love, and it all kind of freaks him out but he doesn't mind, not really, because it's almost as strong as his hate and that's better than he's had in a long while and he doesn't want to give it up, not if he can help it.*
Bonecrusher: *He just can't help feeling like he does with Tracks, it's different but it isn't strong like this, and he can only hope Blackout gets it, he can't hold Blackout any closer because it'll just corrupt and go bad and he would never forgive himself if that happened, never. And now there's a terrified plea not to leave yet, don't be like him, stay the whole way through please-*
Blackout: -GASPS, this third dramatic change nearly sending him to his knees and oh Primus! He sees the difference, and feels it and breathes it, but...he is unsure whether he can even remotely understand it. He may never truly 'get it', but...he is closer now than he was before to comprehending what Bonecrusher was always driving at. Hopefully that counts for something. His grip on the other's shoulder is crushing by now, his fingers digging in past the armor and pressuring wires and other circuitry underneath, a testament to his determination to stick this out, now. Even if he had wanted to pull out it is impossible to break off.-
Blackout: -A soft request of his own filters through, it as tender as can be coming from someone like the helicopter. Only two simple words: Show me.-
Bonecrusher: *He lets out a low whine, shuddering under Blackout's grip, complying as best he can to the helicopter's request - he shows the other this thin veneer of agony over something that happened so long ago that he can only barely remember bits of it, from the last time (the only time) he ever let someone he cared for get in like this and he had been rejected so venomously and he just can't do it again, he can't do it again-* ....nngh.... *-And then he physically tries to pull away, claws clamping down and crushing armor beneath them, it still hurts!*
Blackout: -Since he was not allowed to, then like the Pit Bonecrusher can back out. Swiftly, Blackout coils an arm around the other's middle and wrenches him closer, the grip he has on the mining vehicle's shoulder unrelenting. You promised him all of it, so deliver! He rides the emotions and sensations with him, it all but frying his circuits in the process.-
Bonecrusher: *His dental plates grind together and he howls against Blackout's chest, spark pulsing hotly as he throws a sick, perverse pleasure at Blackout, the feeling of really letting someone see him all the way through, letting all those Autobots see him and listening to them scream and oh, they were wonderful - and now there's not much more in him at this point, nothing that can actually be seen, just blends of emotions already witnessed. He twists in Blackout's arms, his spark half-angrily, half-terrified saying I hope you're happy now.*
Blackout: -He wants to keep going, to hang on just that bit longer, but...the stress of having a spark connection this long is too much, not to mention the data flow is too intense for such prolonged exposure. The metal surrounding the energies is smoking and literally beginning to melt at this point, indicating that their time is up. With a deafening screech he hits an overload, systems cutting off and going so far as to shut down. After that he becomes pure dead weight, his body collapsing and remaining still.-
Bonecrusher: *Bonecrusher frantically locks off his spark chamber, twisting his body to get most of it under Blackout's arm before the other completely hits the ground, easing him the rest of the way down and going so far as to curl up beneath the helicopter, as if huddling for warmth, his spark still pounding in his chest.*
Blackout: -That experience his him out well and good for at least ten to fifteen minutes, and even then his reboot is languid. His systems come back online with a sputter and a few stalls, with his optics starting up last. He feels almost woozy, his equilibrium lost, and as he tries to rise he presses up against...as if on instinct, he wraps himself around the other a bit more.-
Bonecrusher: *All Bonecrusher can do is stay still, hand still gripping at any part of Blackout it can find in reach, optics offlining and body tensing, waiting for the oh-so-inevitable fallout.*
Blackout: -As a quiet period descends, the helicopter slowly becomes a bit more aware, his systems continuing to kick on. Absently, one of his hands come up to stroke at the other's neck.- You've...be-en holding out on me. Next t-ime... -He finally begins after several, achingly long moments; his voice nearly giving out once or twice.- Don't...hold back. I-I'll be...able to tell.
Blackout: -It's not a declaration of love. Such an emotion is not an adhesive, it won't hold this relationship together in the end. It's not an admittance of understanding. Blackout will always be himself and be jealous of what Bonecrusher has with Tracks (or any other mech that comes into the picture, for that matter), even though he knows for a fact it's not the same, because he is possessive and greedy and dislikes the competition. It is an offering of the only thing the helicopter has to give without expecting anything in return, the only true, pure, good thing about the Decepticon...and that is his loyalty. He will not be leaving.-
Bonecrusher: ......I won't, I swear. *He's never felt so relieved before, head tilting to give Blackout all the room he needs. And as pathetic and weak as it sounds, he has to say it-* ....I just didn't want you to leave.
Blackout: I ne-ver had... -His voice suddenly cuts out completely. Coupled with the fact he still had not gone in for repairs for the damage Lockdown had bestowed upon him, this experience was the last straw as far as his body is concerned.- ::I never had any intention of going anywhere.:: -He tries again, this time through a comm.- ::But do not think this gets you off the hook! This has been...insightful, but it does not solve anything.:: ->\-
Bonecrusher: I know. *He sounds a lot more resigned to that than he really is, but he's too tired to even think to argue more with Blackout. The fact that he hasn't already left is enough to wipe all the fight out of him for the moment.* .....I know.
Bonecrusher: *And then he adds, after a beat-* ...Just wanted you to understand.
Blackout: ::...:: -And he certainly does, more than he might have ever wanted as far as the Tracks issue is concerned. The reasoning may not be there, but the meaning is.- ::It's never going to end, is it?:: -Though he has already figured out the answer on his own, he has to hear it, to have it confirmed. He doesn't even look at the other as he asks, instead choosing to glare at the adjacent wall.-
Bonecrusher: ....I don't know. *Part of him really wants to call it off, to beat Tracks up and make himself hate the Corvette, but he just can't see it happening.* ....Like I said. I kind of got used to just having mechs like Tracks around. You're...not....... And I didn't mean just that.
Blackout: -He sighs, still a bit exasperated with the whole situation.- ::I...do not know how to proceed with this.:: -Such an admittance is a hard pill for him to swallow, but there seems to be no other options left. They have tried ignoring it, trying to change...what is left to them?-
Bonecrusher: ...Neither do I. That's why I didn't do this before. *That and a multitude of other reasons, but he's not inclined to talk about those right now.* What do you want?
Blackout: ::What I want is obviously out of the question!:: -Growls.- ::I cannot help but sense that I can no longer trust you when you go out. How many more will follow this? How do I even know there aren't anymore? There are several shiny sports vehicles roaming about, it's like I'm walking on shards of scrap when another one pops up! I want a promise I have no hopes of getting.::
Bonecrusher: I'm not... *He's not even sure how to phrase it, and he hates how pathetic he sounds already, but there's not much lower to drop at this point.* ...I only really belong to you. I've only let one other this close to me without wanting them dead. I might be a slagging idiot about this, but... I promise you I'm only yours, all things considered.
Blackout: ::...:: -It will have to do, though Blackout radiates unhappy, but at least it's no longer murderous!unhappy?-
Bonecrusher: ............I know. I'm sorry. I tried but....
Blackout: -There's not much more he can say without sounding childish, it 'not being fair' coming to mind often, but he refrains. As easy as it would be to blame the other, he can't rightly bring himself to tag Bonecrusher as the sole problem. Shifting, he brings them that much closer.- ::Saying you are sorry does not make it easier to handle...but I have not made it all that easy, either.::
Bonecrusher: *He willingly shifts to get as close as possible to Blackout, optics onlining and looking up at the other's face.* It's not you. I'm just...... wired wrong. You saw it. I'm fucked and I don't think I can change.
Blackout: -His optics, once dim to conserve energy, suddenly flash and pierce his.- ::Don't spout such nonsense! Your wiring has kept you alive all these years. We Deceptions are the banes of our society, the brutes and barbarians...:: -He trails a hand up the other's frame until he can cup his chin and hold his face in place.- ::If you are so terrible, than I am as much a monster as you. My intention was never to make you ashamed of who you are.::
Bonecrusher: *His vocalizer makes a low noise but he makes no move to challenge Blackout's grip on him.* I'll just fuck up again.
Blackout: ::Then I will just have to beat more sense into you.:: -He automatically responds, idly running a finger across his cheek as he continues to keep a firm hold on the mining vehicle.-
Bonecrusher: ...It'll ruin you. *His optics offline again and he tilts towards Blackout's touch, wondering why he won't just let it go if he knows he's got a good thing going right now.*
Blackout: -Quiet, then- ::There is nothing left to ruin.:: -Leaning down, he claims his lips, the kiss anything but gentle.-
Bonecrusher: *Surprise keeps him from responding immediately, but then he struggles to push himself upward, claws digging in as he bites, hard, at Blackout's mouth, moaning into the kiss (though whether it's from delight or despair is anyone's guess).*
Blackout: -A new taste is introduced, probably from his now split lip, but the pain does not even register with him. He just bites back in return, lips slick and hungry.-
Bonecrusher: *He grows frantic at the taste, sucking on Blackout's lip and groaning again at every last drop of energon that he gets, claws sliding to go for Blackout's neck, pulling at wiring there with a low rumble in his engine.*
Blackout: -Moans softly in return, the sound like static and hot against the other's lips. He arches enough to allow access to his neck, giving Bonecrusher all the playing room he wants.-
Bonecrusher: *He's twisting his claws under fuel lines, simultaneously pulling to deepen the kiss, but not before sinking his dentals into Blackout's lip briefly to draw more energon, opening up a commline to hiss-* ::You taste so good...::
Blackout: -The hand that had been resting by Bonecrusher's own neck creeps along until a digit can feel up one of the spikes of his shovel. His free hand can't seem to keep to itself, either, it clawing down to grasp Bonecrusher's hip and dispel the last, lingering space between the lower half of their bodies, completing their contact. Now that is delicious...-
Blackout: -Is sitting on the room's berth, his back resting against the wall while one leg props up along its edge and the other flat against the floor. Inside, the atmosphere is dim, but the glint of something metallic can be seen in one of his hands. It's a set of his rear rotor blades, a finger of his bending a piece until chink, a blade snaps off. Across from him, beside the places entrance, a dead weevil, one of the scarce few he had come across while on his earlier trip to check on Sprinkles, hangs. A rotor was already stabbed through its head to keep the drone in place, and...toss! Now another is embedded in it, this time straight through the insect's back.-
Bonecrusher: *Is coming back to the room itself! Not a bad night. Actually, not a bad series of nights. Everything is pretty good in Bonecrusher land, right now - as long as he takes care not to think about the implicit madness of his current relationships. Bonecrusher is thinking more about getting some actual recharge in a real berth for once as he opens the door and enters the room, a bit oblivious in his mildly (read: very) drunken thoughts to Blackout or anything relating to said mech.*
Blackout: -Swoosh. A rotor blade whips past Bonecrusher's head, grazing a cheek, before it lands firmly into the thoroughly dead weevil. It plants itself in the same spot as the previous one, the force applied to the throw causing it to cut the first in half before it rests in the creature's back. If that little 'greeting' was not warning enough to the mining vehicle, than the helicopter's expression certainly his. His optics are narrowed, red slits.-
Bonecrusher: .... *So much for "honey, I'm home." He's not really phased by the cut on his cheek, or by the weevil as he turns to inspect it, but he keeps himself perfectly neutral. Blackout's in a mood, so he's more likely to get yelled at than recharge. Oh well.* WHAT'S UP?
Blackout: Not much. -His voice is sickly calm, but in that devoid sort of way that implies it is absolutely false since he's feeling anything but that to back it up. Snapcrack goes another blade breaking off in his hand.- Went to visit Sprinkles earlier, actually. Took the scenic route, and I have to say, it was quite enlightening. And yourself? Have fun with your little mistress?
Bonecrusher: STOP BREAKIN' THINGS. *It's more an automatic reaction than anything, but he does mean it, and he lets the door slide close behind him before continuing any sort of conversation. Internally, his mental train of thought it going about 60 mph, repeating "fuck" over and over, but on the outside, he looks still rather calm.* MISTRESS.
Blackout: -Optics flashing once, he makes another shot, the blade striking the creature dead between the eyes.- I have several spares, I assure you... -Though he continues to keep a level tone, it still somehow manages to imply that 'to stab you with' is unsaid somewhere in that statement.- Yes, mistress. I could list off several other names, but I'll keep it simple for you and just say Tracks.
Bonecrusher: *...Slag. If he doesn't say anything, that's basically the same as admitting to it, but he can't think of a thing to say - really, what is there to say?* ........
Blackout: Nothing to say? Not sure where to go with that, hm? -His voice has grown softer, to a near murmur, yet it contains harsher vehemence than ever before. Now his fury starts to show, words flowing like acid.- Then allow me to direct it for you. Maybe pointing out that you have lied to me several times will spark something? Or perhaps bringing up the fact that, once again, you have cheated might give you the right words to say?
Bonecrusher: ....PRIMUS, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? *He sighs and shakes his head, as if trying to clear it.* EITHER I TELL YOU AND YOU FREAK, OR I DON'T AND YOU FREAK. IT'S KIND OF LOSE-LOSE, HERE.
Blackout: I guess it no longer even matters, does it? -Sneers.- You told me it was over between you two, that all those obvious attempts at flirting were fake. -His anger continues to become more obvious; his fist tightening and crumbling the rest of the rotor pieces into scrap.- And before that, you assured me that I would not have to live with this. I was willing to change for you, to ignore this because I didn't think you would so blatantly continue to resort to this atrocity. But you said no. -He's getting to his feet now, frame tense.- I'm getting mixed signals from you, and I dislike being played the fool.
Bonecrusher: DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS TO YOU AND TRACKS? *He snaps out the line, optics narrowing.* I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I TRIED TO STOP IT BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN JUST STOP.
Blackout: Why not? -Snaps right back.- What does that Autobot provide you that makes him so special? -Ok, so he might have sounded jealous there. Only a little bit. Really.-
Bonecrusher: I DON'T KNOW! *The gears in his empty shoulder grind as he clenches his one hand into a fist, glaring at Blackout.* SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW! HE DOESN'T FUCKING PICK AT EVERYTHING I SAY, FOR ONE.
Blackout: -Snorts.- I do not 'pick at', I 'critique'! Nor do I do it about everything. Just when you pull something like this that aggravates me.
Bonecrusher: EVERYTHING AGGRAVATES YOU!
Blackout: MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE ALL YOU EVER DO IS INTERFACE WITH THAT DAMNED SPORTS CAR!
Bonecrusher: DO YOU REALIZE HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EVEN TALKED TO ME BEYOND THE JOURNAL WHEN I WAS HOLED UP AND MISSING AN ARM AND RUNNING LOW ON ENERGON AND WAITING FOR WEEVILS TO BREAK DOWN MY DOOR? COMING TO GET ME MIGHT'VE BEEN HEROIC OF YOU BUT HE ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME!
Blackout: I WAS A LITTLE BUSY TRYING TO FIGHT THROUGH THOSE PUTRID BEASTS. SORRY IF I WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH ACTUALLY GETTING TO YOU TO FREE YOU THAN HOLDING A CONVERSATION - WHICH, FOR THE RECORD, I DID INQUIRE ABOUT YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH.
Bonecrusher: AND BEFORE THAT? WHENEVER I OPEN MY MOUTH ALL I DO IS PISS YOU OFF! AT LEAST I CAN HOLD A FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH TRACKS WITHOUT HIM FUCKING HATING EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF MY VOCALIZER!
Blackout: SO HE HAS LOW STANDARDS, IS THAT IT? JUST BECAUSE I HAVE THE NERVE TO GET UPSET WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO THINK BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MOCKING ME OR YOU USE THE SAME PHRASES WITH EVERYONE ELSE?!
Bonecrusher: *Something flashes in Bonecrusher's expression before it goes very, very cool, fist still clenched tightly.* LOW STANDARDS, HUH.
Blackout: -He pauses, his vents still pumping double time as he physically strains to keep himself under control; a losing battle, to be sure. The expression he wears in return is far from cold, optics locking with the other's and jaw clenched. He had meant those words and he would not be taking them back.- You heard me.
Bonecrusher: SO, YOU GOT LOW STANDARDS TOO, THEN? PUTTING UP WITH ME THIS LONG? *His voice turns to very nearly a purr, optics narrowing further as he paces forward to get nice and close to Blackout.* FIGURED YOU COULD SETTLE?
Blackout: -Looking down at him, the helicopter responds snidely with- Are you complaining? You certainly don't seem picky.
Bonecrusher: THEN YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN ME, HUH. *There's a hint of something in his voice that isn't readily named, but it isn't anger in the slightest.* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ME A FAVOR OR SOMETHING, BEING AROUND ME? PITYING ME ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A RELATIONSHIP?
Blackout: .... -His optics eye the other suspiciously, knowing that the mining vehicle is getting at something, it just has not become exactly clear to him as to what that is, yet.- I don't know the meaning of pity.
Bonecrusher: THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
Blackout: -Fine. Then have a blunt, straight forward- No. I don't think so. -Happy now, Bonbon?-
Bonecrusher: THEN IF I'M JUST SOME FRAGGING MORON WHO CAN'T WATCH HIS MOUTH AND MAKES ALL THESE MISTAKES AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE LOW STANDARDS TO TOLERATE ME WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!
Blackout: -For the first time in their conversation...Blackout finally looks away, it his turn for silence.- ......
Bonecrusher: *He had half expected that, but it's still a lot more painful than he had expected.* Don't start fights with me if you don't even want to be here.
Blackout: That's not it at all! -Hisses, turning back to glare at him.- If I cared so little for you, do you think I would be bothering with this right now? This is a huge deal to me! Because despite your idiocy and messes and other aggravating quirks...I find myself attracted to you anyway. -He almost considers raising a hand to the other's face, but instead his expression hardens and he steps back, really looking at him and letting the other really look at him and really letting themselves just look at one another.- But love obviously is not enough, if I don't even know who it is I'm supposed to be in love with.
Bonecrusher: *Bonecrusher doesn't bother looking anywhere but at Blackout's face, optics still narrowed.* I don't know what I was thinking. I've never been good at one-on-one relationships. I kept saying that I was, like that makes things true, because I wasn't planning on getting into one. And then you... Primus, I don't know what I was thinking.
Bonecrusher: *He steps forward, taking away the space that Blackout had put between them, heaving a sigh and dimming his optics.* Do you even know -- no, you don't. Do you even want to know what you're getting yourself into, the longer you stay around me?
Blackout: I've lasted this long, I imagine it would be prudent to have such information. Then again, I'm under the assumption we don't kill one another in the near future. -Ya know, it's rather difficult to tell if he's joking in part of that.-
Bonecrusher: *He sighs again and moves closer still, stopping when their chestplates touch. He tilts his head against Blackout's shoulder.* Always gonna want to kill each other. *The unspoken "it's part of being a 'Con" should be pretty obvious. He stays like that for a long moment, before finally saying in a rather abrupt manner-* Open up. I'll let you get nice and deep.
Blackout: -Hesitating, he grasps the other's shoulder tightly with one hand and looks down at him. He doesn't appreciate the command, but he complies, gears turning and latches clicking free to reveal his spark.-
Bonecrusher: *He doesn't look up, offlining his optics and drawing in a huge amount of air through his intakes. He doesn't want to do this. This is reserved more for cheap thrills during wartime than for actual attempts at...whatever he expects this to accomplish. His own casing takes a few moments longer to reveal his own spark, but it does in due time, and he takes almost immediate control of the connection that forms between their sparks.*
Bonecrusher: He holds nothing back - not like all the times before, where he had monitored how deep he let Blackout get, giving the helicopter everything but the actual center of his spark. Maybe that had been for the best, once upon a time, but nothing makes sense anymore to him, and he just needs to go with it - so he shows Blackout everything, lets him get as deep as either of them can bear.*
Bonecrusher: *At the heart of him, there is no feeling; there's no remorse over anything he's done, no love or affection or even ambivalence. The only thing in his spark, this deep under the deposits of emotion that have built over the years, is a hatred so raw, so utterly complete that nothing could possibly try to erase it. The only thing Bonecrusher can do to combat it is to hide it under layers of other feelings; the emotions he holds closest are the ones that are rotten and corrupted, guilt and anger merging near completely into that blind hatred, memories associated with both looking warped and distorted through a lens that expresses all feelings in terms of rip and smash and destroy.*
Blackout: -In a matter of speaking, he treads carefully, letting the information come to him rather than directly seeking it out or looking for anything specific. He just absorbs as much as he can, letting it all flow in and process. The more recent, top layers are known to him, save that it's from a different perspective...but as he's permitted to gather more... Unconsciously, his grip tightens on the other mech.-
Bonecrusher: *He's unconsciously digging his claws into Blackout's side, trying to keep from doing something stupid, like letting him get too close to the center of his spark - where all there is, is a feeling of such deep hate that all he can express at this point is how hard it is for him not to just fight, not to just kill, not to just maim and ruin everything around him. And it hurts to let Blackout in this far, because it's so close to just taking him with it and never letting go - his intakes are heaving and he's making quiet keening noises, trying to not do something stupid and let Blackout join all the Autobots who have seen this part of him and have never come back out-*
Blackout: -To him, it's like moving through sludge, or tar, after awhile. This far in is thick and riddled with almost simplistic concepts, but they are...poison. Like any toxin it floods his systems, contaminating every aspect of him and clinging, making it hard to concentrate. But he says nothing, gritting his teeth together so tightly they nearly grind aloud in protest, nor does he give any indication for either of them to pull out of this.-
Bonecrusher: *He pulls back, closes off that part of him because it hurts so badly not to just let his spark take Blackout and corrupt him too, like a virus only so much worse. He pulls back and lets Blackout see something better, something to offset the hate - he lets him see actual emotions, something covering up his insides. He shows him how Tracks makes him feel - shows him the warmth and the calm and that he doesn't have to be afraid to do something stupid around Tracks, because he doesn't dig holes when he's just there, just talking or hanging out or yes, doing other things. There's a painful uncertainty there, though, because he knows it shouldn't be like this and he should hate Tracks or not care about him or something, anything other than this, but it's here and he just doesn't know if he can give up something so...comfortable.*
Blackout: -For a second, he is almost too disorientated after being blocked from experiencing that sort of unadulterated emotion, and after he recovers enough to pay attention again...he somehow finds this more painful than the hate. This...this is like torture. He could never have hoped to prepare himself for this knowledge, having thought he understood only to discover that... Physically flinching, he tries to pull back.-
Bonecrusher: No. *Bonecrusher tightens his hold and moves with Blackout, keeping the connection only to pull up more gradually. The warmth is replaced by a scorching heat, Bonecrusher's claws tightening on Blackout as he groans, the calm disrupted by confusion and wariness and love, and it all kind of freaks him out but he doesn't mind, not really, because it's almost as strong as his hate and that's better than he's had in a long while and he doesn't want to give it up, not if he can help it.*
Bonecrusher: *He just can't help feeling like he does with Tracks, it's different but it isn't strong like this, and he can only hope Blackout gets it, he can't hold Blackout any closer because it'll just corrupt and go bad and he would never forgive himself if that happened, never. And now there's a terrified plea not to leave yet, don't be like him, stay the whole way through please-*
Blackout: -GASPS, this third dramatic change nearly sending him to his knees and oh Primus! He sees the difference, and feels it and breathes it, but...he is unsure whether he can even remotely understand it. He may never truly 'get it', but...he is closer now than he was before to comprehending what Bonecrusher was always driving at. Hopefully that counts for something. His grip on the other's shoulder is crushing by now, his fingers digging in past the armor and pressuring wires and other circuitry underneath, a testament to his determination to stick this out, now. Even if he had wanted to pull out it is impossible to break off.-
Blackout: -A soft request of his own filters through, it as tender as can be coming from someone like the helicopter. Only two simple words: Show me.-
Bonecrusher: *He lets out a low whine, shuddering under Blackout's grip, complying as best he can to the helicopter's request - he shows the other this thin veneer of agony over something that happened so long ago that he can only barely remember bits of it, from the last time (the only time) he ever let someone he cared for get in like this and he had been rejected so venomously and he just can't do it again, he can't do it again-* ....nngh.... *-And then he physically tries to pull away, claws clamping down and crushing armor beneath them, it still hurts!*
Blackout: -Since he was not allowed to, then like the Pit Bonecrusher can back out. Swiftly, Blackout coils an arm around the other's middle and wrenches him closer, the grip he has on the mining vehicle's shoulder unrelenting. You promised him all of it, so deliver! He rides the emotions and sensations with him, it all but frying his circuits in the process.-
Bonecrusher: *His dental plates grind together and he howls against Blackout's chest, spark pulsing hotly as he throws a sick, perverse pleasure at Blackout, the feeling of really letting someone see him all the way through, letting all those Autobots see him and listening to them scream and oh, they were wonderful - and now there's not much more in him at this point, nothing that can actually be seen, just blends of emotions already witnessed. He twists in Blackout's arms, his spark half-angrily, half-terrified saying I hope you're happy now.*
Blackout: -He wants to keep going, to hang on just that bit longer, but...the stress of having a spark connection this long is too much, not to mention the data flow is too intense for such prolonged exposure. The metal surrounding the energies is smoking and literally beginning to melt at this point, indicating that their time is up. With a deafening screech he hits an overload, systems cutting off and going so far as to shut down. After that he becomes pure dead weight, his body collapsing and remaining still.-
Bonecrusher: *Bonecrusher frantically locks off his spark chamber, twisting his body to get most of it under Blackout's arm before the other completely hits the ground, easing him the rest of the way down and going so far as to curl up beneath the helicopter, as if huddling for warmth, his spark still pounding in his chest.*
Blackout: -That experience his him out well and good for at least ten to fifteen minutes, and even then his reboot is languid. His systems come back online with a sputter and a few stalls, with his optics starting up last. He feels almost woozy, his equilibrium lost, and as he tries to rise he presses up against...as if on instinct, he wraps himself around the other a bit more.-
Bonecrusher: *All Bonecrusher can do is stay still, hand still gripping at any part of Blackout it can find in reach, optics offlining and body tensing, waiting for the oh-so-inevitable fallout.*
Blackout: -As a quiet period descends, the helicopter slowly becomes a bit more aware, his systems continuing to kick on. Absently, one of his hands come up to stroke at the other's neck.- You've...be-en holding out on me. Next t-ime... -He finally begins after several, achingly long moments; his voice nearly giving out once or twice.- Don't...hold back. I-I'll be...able to tell.
Blackout: -It's not a declaration of love. Such an emotion is not an adhesive, it won't hold this relationship together in the end. It's not an admittance of understanding. Blackout will always be himself and be jealous of what Bonecrusher has with Tracks (or any other mech that comes into the picture, for that matter), even though he knows for a fact it's not the same, because he is possessive and greedy and dislikes the competition. It is an offering of the only thing the helicopter has to give without expecting anything in return, the only true, pure, good thing about the Decepticon...and that is his loyalty. He will not be leaving.-
Bonecrusher: ......I won't, I swear. *He's never felt so relieved before, head tilting to give Blackout all the room he needs. And as pathetic and weak as it sounds, he has to say it-* ....I just didn't want you to leave.
Blackout: I ne-ver had... -His voice suddenly cuts out completely. Coupled with the fact he still had not gone in for repairs for the damage Lockdown had bestowed upon him, this experience was the last straw as far as his body is concerned.- ::I never had any intention of going anywhere.:: -He tries again, this time through a comm.- ::But do not think this gets you off the hook! This has been...insightful, but it does not solve anything.:: ->\-
Bonecrusher: I know. *He sounds a lot more resigned to that than he really is, but he's too tired to even think to argue more with Blackout. The fact that he hasn't already left is enough to wipe all the fight out of him for the moment.* .....I know.
Bonecrusher: *And then he adds, after a beat-* ...Just wanted you to understand.
Blackout: ::...:: -And he certainly does, more than he might have ever wanted as far as the Tracks issue is concerned. The reasoning may not be there, but the meaning is.- ::It's never going to end, is it?:: -Though he has already figured out the answer on his own, he has to hear it, to have it confirmed. He doesn't even look at the other as he asks, instead choosing to glare at the adjacent wall.-
Bonecrusher: ....I don't know. *Part of him really wants to call it off, to beat Tracks up and make himself hate the Corvette, but he just can't see it happening.* ....Like I said. I kind of got used to just having mechs like Tracks around. You're...not....... And I didn't mean just that.
Blackout: -He sighs, still a bit exasperated with the whole situation.- ::I...do not know how to proceed with this.:: -Such an admittance is a hard pill for him to swallow, but there seems to be no other options left. They have tried ignoring it, trying to change...what is left to them?-
Bonecrusher: ...Neither do I. That's why I didn't do this before. *That and a multitude of other reasons, but he's not inclined to talk about those right now.* What do you want?
Blackout: ::What I want is obviously out of the question!:: -Growls.- ::I cannot help but sense that I can no longer trust you when you go out. How many more will follow this? How do I even know there aren't anymore? There are several shiny sports vehicles roaming about, it's like I'm walking on shards of scrap when another one pops up! I want a promise I have no hopes of getting.::
Bonecrusher: I'm not... *He's not even sure how to phrase it, and he hates how pathetic he sounds already, but there's not much lower to drop at this point.* ...I only really belong to you. I've only let one other this close to me without wanting them dead. I might be a slagging idiot about this, but... I promise you I'm only yours, all things considered.
Blackout: ::...:: -It will have to do, though Blackout radiates unhappy, but at least it's no longer murderous!unhappy?-
Bonecrusher: ............I know. I'm sorry. I tried but....
Blackout: -There's not much more he can say without sounding childish, it 'not being fair' coming to mind often, but he refrains. As easy as it would be to blame the other, he can't rightly bring himself to tag Bonecrusher as the sole problem. Shifting, he brings them that much closer.- ::Saying you are sorry does not make it easier to handle...but I have not made it all that easy, either.::
Bonecrusher: *He willingly shifts to get as close as possible to Blackout, optics onlining and looking up at the other's face.* It's not you. I'm just...... wired wrong. You saw it. I'm fucked and I don't think I can change.
Blackout: -His optics, once dim to conserve energy, suddenly flash and pierce his.- ::Don't spout such nonsense! Your wiring has kept you alive all these years. We Deceptions are the banes of our society, the brutes and barbarians...:: -He trails a hand up the other's frame until he can cup his chin and hold his face in place.- ::If you are so terrible, than I am as much a monster as you. My intention was never to make you ashamed of who you are.::
Bonecrusher: *His vocalizer makes a low noise but he makes no move to challenge Blackout's grip on him.* I'll just fuck up again.
Blackout: ::Then I will just have to beat more sense into you.:: -He automatically responds, idly running a finger across his cheek as he continues to keep a firm hold on the mining vehicle.-
Bonecrusher: ...It'll ruin you. *His optics offline again and he tilts towards Blackout's touch, wondering why he won't just let it go if he knows he's got a good thing going right now.*
Blackout: -Quiet, then- ::There is nothing left to ruin.:: -Leaning down, he claims his lips, the kiss anything but gentle.-
Bonecrusher: *Surprise keeps him from responding immediately, but then he struggles to push himself upward, claws digging in as he bites, hard, at Blackout's mouth, moaning into the kiss (though whether it's from delight or despair is anyone's guess).*
Blackout: -A new taste is introduced, probably from his now split lip, but the pain does not even register with him. He just bites back in return, lips slick and hungry.-
Bonecrusher: *He grows frantic at the taste, sucking on Blackout's lip and groaning again at every last drop of energon that he gets, claws sliding to go for Blackout's neck, pulling at wiring there with a low rumble in his engine.*
Blackout: -Moans softly in return, the sound like static and hot against the other's lips. He arches enough to allow access to his neck, giving Bonecrusher all the playing room he wants.-
Bonecrusher: *He's twisting his claws under fuel lines, simultaneously pulling to deepen the kiss, but not before sinking his dentals into Blackout's lip briefly to draw more energon, opening up a commline to hiss-* ::You taste so good...::
Blackout: -The hand that had been resting by Bonecrusher's own neck creeps along until a digit can feel up one of the spikes of his shovel. His free hand can't seem to keep to itself, either, it clawing down to grasp Bonecrusher's hip and dispel the last, lingering space between the lower half of their bodies, completing their contact. Now that is delicious...-