Sex, Drugs, and Rophynol LTD
Cupcake got an MSN account, and guess what happened? IM crack.
Sex, Drugs, and Rophynol, starring Chief Petty Officer Franklin 'Freaklin' Cryer and Lieutenant 'My Beloved Blackboard Face' Grietzer
lostwiginity: The guy who reads the charges at the beginning of the movie; I figured I'd call him Chief Petty Officer Franklin Cryer.
Kayliemalinza: He was rather handsome, wasn't he?
lostwiginity: He still is! More handsome than Greitzer, anyway.
Kayliemalinza: Who's Greitzer?
lostwiginity: That's the guy who stands next to Becks when they find that dead body strapped to a barrel. He has enough scars in his face to compete with Mercer.
Kayliemalinza: He was pretty gross looking. Maybe he's dating Mercer?
lostwiginity: That's what I though!
Kayliemalinza: Mercer: Lord Beckett, do we have an opening? I know someone who, uh, can do the job quite well....
lostwiginity: I thought that Greitzer's name sounded like fingernails scratching over a blackboard. And his face looks just like that scratched blackboard.
lostwiginity: Let's call him Blackboard Face.
Kayliemalinza: That's Mercer's pet name for him
lostwiginity: I doubt he likes it.
Kayliemalinza: but he wuvs Mercer so he puts up with it
lostwiginity: And possibly scratches his face a bit during their amorous play, as a payback.
Kayliemalinza: and then lovingly puts Neosporin on the wounds
Kayliemalinza: and they feed each other peanuts
Kayliemalinza: Beckett accidentally witnesses some of this, and throws up
Kayliemalinza: He demands that Norrington hold his wig back as he does so
Kayliemalinza: Norrington's upset, because wig-holding for Beckett is going to make him late for his midnight meeting with Groves
lostwiginity: And CPO Cryer, whom he's hiding in his closet.
Kayliemalinza: Cryer likes to commentate mid-coitus
Kayliemalinza: "Henceforth it shall be known that the Admiral is putting his left hand on Lieutenant Groves' arse, and Lieutenant Groves is consequently moaning in a wanton manner."
lostwiginity: With a microphone in his hand, of course.
lostwiginity: And a camera in the other.
Kayliemalinza: and then Groves takes that microphone and... puts it to better use
lostwiginity: And Frank films it. Very nice.
Kayliemalinza: Cryer develops the photos and sells them
lostwiginity: To Beckett, who needs a bit of a pleasant distraction after what he'd witnessed.
Kayliemalinza: But then he corners Norrington. "It has come to my attention that you have some very special skills, Admiral. I command you to demonstrate them to me. Tonight, in my cabin."
lostwiginity: "Aye, Sir, but only if that creepy servant of yours isn't watching, like the last time."
Kayliemalinza: Beckett slowly fans himself, looking slightly disgusted. "Yes, of course. That can be arranged."
lostwiginity: Norri goes back to business, walking past a vomiting Lt Groves and an eye-rolling Lt Greitzer. "That's why you have to knock on the door first."
Kayliemalinza: However, there is a small group of people aboard the ship who LIKE that sort of thing, so Franklin puts himself in mortal disgust in order to expand his business by selling "special interest" photos
lostwiginity: That sort of behaviour is exactly why the other officers aboard the Endeavor started to call him "Freaklin".
lostwiginity: Just to satisfy their own "special needs" by buying his HD photographs!
Kayliemalinza: Groves always scolds them for speaking so meanly of his beloved fuckbuddy, which some of the sailors like.
Kayliemalinza: "Yes, Lieutenant Groves. I've been a very, very bad midshipman."
Kayliemalinza: The midshipman winks at Groves, who smirks a little bit, but then Norrington walks past looking rather upset and Groves skitters off after him.
Kayliemalinza: Then Cryer comes up tot he midshipman and says, "If you like, I can make you an appointment. Lt. Groves is free tomorrow afternoon from 2 to 4."
Kayliemalinza: Then Franklin tilts his head at the midshipman. "You understand there will be a small fee involved...."
Kayliemalinza: Apparently, Groves liked the idea of starting up his own business the way that Cryer did.
Kayliemalinza: They have to keep it secret from James, though. His ego is so fragile lately.
lostwiginity: So Franklin be pimping? I don't think Lord Wigpimp would like to see that on his ship.
Kayliemalinza: Uh oh.
Kayliemalinza: Mercer discovers some of the photos making the rounds and gets very upset. That's his private time with his darling Blackboard Face!
Kayliemalinza: Beckett launches an investigation of Franklin's various businesses
lostwiginity: And finds out that there are pics of him as well.
Kayliemalinza: They're quite nice pictures, which inclines him to be lenient on Franklin, but then he discovers that Franklin was selling them very cheaply.
Kayliemalinza: "How dare you price the Admiral higher than me!" he whines.
lostwiginity: To a pirate captain nonetheless. Through message in a bottle.
Kayliemalinza: Beckett fumes. "No wonder Jack wasn't bothered when I threatened not to strip-tease for him anymore!"
lostwiginity: He wasn't bothered because he could watch him strip on the internet because of that 24/7 cam that Franklin installed in his cabin.
Kayliemalinza: (Which Beckett hasn't discovered yet!)
Kayliemalinza: Surprisingly, the footage of Beckett chewing out Franklin is very popular
Kayliemalinza: Franklin wants to do well by his customers, so the next time Beckett calls him into the cabin (having discovered another sets of photos of him) Franklin is very penitent.
lostwiginity: To get good footage for his webcam, you mean?
Kayliemalinza: He sinks to his knees, murmuring, "I have disappointed you, Lord Beckett. It is your right to punish me as you wish."
lostwiginity: Oh, he's such a slut!
lostwiginity: And Beckett likes that.
Kayliemalinza: Beckett strokes his pimp cane thoughtfully. "Any way I like, hmm?"
lostwiginity: And that's when the cane comes into play. Literally.
Kayliemalinza: Franklin didn't expect to like it this much... but Beckett really knows how to work it!
Kayliemalinza: Afterwards, breathless and smitten, Franklin invites Beckett to become his business partner
lostwiginity: But Becks has his own business already.
Kayliemalinza: He can always expand
lostwiginity: Or they could fuse.
lostwiginity: Pimp'n'Peep
Kayliemalinza: Totally. The EITC delivers paprika AND porn
lostwiginity: You forgot the CRACK it sells.
lostwiginity: The stuff that makes people like Mercer call people like Greitzer "my beloved Blackboard Face".
Kayliemalinza: Ah, yes
Kayliemalinza: It comes hidden in the bottom of paprika tins.
lostwiginity: "That's... erm... Indonesian white paprika. Yes, it is."
Kayliemalinza: Lizzie, holding the tin accusingly, doesn't believe Jack and stomps off in a huff.
Kayliemalinza: Unfortunately, she didn't mention anything to Will, so when he comes into Jack's cabin later, he happily eats the special pasta dish Jack has made for him.
lostwiginity: And since Jack likes to make money by doing what he does best ( which usually is stealing from other ships, but not this time), he allowed Cryer to install a cam in his cabin as well.
Kayliemalinza: Apparently Groves has gotten into the act, and told Cryer that the porn will sell much better if there are more storylines, like a soap opera.
lostwiginity: So Beckett and Cryer expand their buisiness. "Sex, Drugs and Rophypnol" LTD.
Kayliemalinza: Everyone keep buying more and more footage, wondering what will happen when Elizabeth finds out about the Turrow, and what Beckett will do when he discovers what Jack has been doing.
Kayliemalinza: SD&R LTD. starts producing fanmagazines, too
lostwiginity: does he accept Gay Pal?
Kayliemalinza: YES >P
lostwiginity: No, I actually wanted to lend him my gay pal for some photos.
Kayliemalinza: lol, sure. They host contests. "Have you always dreamed of being a model? ENTER NOW and All your dreams can come true! Some restrictions apply."
lostwiginity: What's featured in these magazines, I wonder?
Kayliemalinza: Teaser photos, interviews, gossip columns....
Kayliemalinza: "PASTA SEDUCTION! The swishy Captain Jack "Tasty" Sparrow can't wait to get his hands on Naive, Butch Blacksmith Will Turner! But will their steaming hot relationship be brought to a tragic end when Jack's jealous ex-lover, the Dominating Cutler Beckett, finds out what Jack's been doing??? Subscribe NOW to find out! Send all checks and money orders to HMS Endeavor, c/o Franklin Cryer."
lostwiginity: Wait a sec... what if Elizabeth gets her fingers on those magazines!? Teh horror! Oo
This should put a different spin on future watchings of AWE. ^_^
Sex, Drugs, and Rophynol, starring Chief Petty Officer Franklin 'Freaklin' Cryer and Lieutenant 'My Beloved Blackboard Face' Grietzer
lostwiginity: The guy who reads the charges at the beginning of the movie; I figured I'd call him Chief Petty Officer Franklin Cryer.
Kayliemalinza: He was rather handsome, wasn't he?
lostwiginity: He still is! More handsome than Greitzer, anyway.
Kayliemalinza: Who's Greitzer?
lostwiginity: That's the guy who stands next to Becks when they find that dead body strapped to a barrel. He has enough scars in his face to compete with Mercer.
Kayliemalinza: He was pretty gross looking. Maybe he's dating Mercer?
lostwiginity: That's what I though!
Kayliemalinza: Mercer: Lord Beckett, do we have an opening? I know someone who, uh, can do the job quite well....
lostwiginity: I thought that Greitzer's name sounded like fingernails scratching over a blackboard. And his face looks just like that scratched blackboard.
lostwiginity: Let's call him Blackboard Face.
Kayliemalinza: That's Mercer's pet name for him
lostwiginity: I doubt he likes it.
Kayliemalinza: but he wuvs Mercer so he puts up with it
lostwiginity: And possibly scratches his face a bit during their amorous play, as a payback.
Kayliemalinza: and then lovingly puts Neosporin on the wounds
Kayliemalinza: and they feed each other peanuts
Kayliemalinza: Beckett accidentally witnesses some of this, and throws up
Kayliemalinza: He demands that Norrington hold his wig back as he does so
Kayliemalinza: Norrington's upset, because wig-holding for Beckett is going to make him late for his midnight meeting with Groves
lostwiginity: And CPO Cryer, whom he's hiding in his closet.
Kayliemalinza: Cryer likes to commentate mid-coitus
Kayliemalinza: "Henceforth it shall be known that the Admiral is putting his left hand on Lieutenant Groves' arse, and Lieutenant Groves is consequently moaning in a wanton manner."
lostwiginity: With a microphone in his hand, of course.
lostwiginity: And a camera in the other.
Kayliemalinza: and then Groves takes that microphone and... puts it to better use
lostwiginity: And Frank films it. Very nice.
Kayliemalinza: Cryer develops the photos and sells them
lostwiginity: To Beckett, who needs a bit of a pleasant distraction after what he'd witnessed.
Kayliemalinza: But then he corners Norrington. "It has come to my attention that you have some very special skills, Admiral. I command you to demonstrate them to me. Tonight, in my cabin."
lostwiginity: "Aye, Sir, but only if that creepy servant of yours isn't watching, like the last time."
Kayliemalinza: Beckett slowly fans himself, looking slightly disgusted. "Yes, of course. That can be arranged."
lostwiginity: Norri goes back to business, walking past a vomiting Lt Groves and an eye-rolling Lt Greitzer. "That's why you have to knock on the door first."
Kayliemalinza: However, there is a small group of people aboard the ship who LIKE that sort of thing, so Franklin puts himself in mortal disgust in order to expand his business by selling "special interest" photos
lostwiginity: That sort of behaviour is exactly why the other officers aboard the Endeavor started to call him "Freaklin".
lostwiginity: Just to satisfy their own "special needs" by buying his HD photographs!
Kayliemalinza: Groves always scolds them for speaking so meanly of his beloved fuckbuddy, which some of the sailors like.
Kayliemalinza: "Yes, Lieutenant Groves. I've been a very, very bad midshipman."
Kayliemalinza: The midshipman winks at Groves, who smirks a little bit, but then Norrington walks past looking rather upset and Groves skitters off after him.
Kayliemalinza: Then Cryer comes up tot he midshipman and says, "If you like, I can make you an appointment. Lt. Groves is free tomorrow afternoon from 2 to 4."
Kayliemalinza: Then Franklin tilts his head at the midshipman. "You understand there will be a small fee involved...."
Kayliemalinza: Apparently, Groves liked the idea of starting up his own business the way that Cryer did.
Kayliemalinza: They have to keep it secret from James, though. His ego is so fragile lately.
lostwiginity: So Franklin be pimping? I don't think Lord Wigpimp would like to see that on his ship.
Kayliemalinza: Uh oh.
Kayliemalinza: Mercer discovers some of the photos making the rounds and gets very upset. That's his private time with his darling Blackboard Face!
Kayliemalinza: Beckett launches an investigation of Franklin's various businesses
lostwiginity: And finds out that there are pics of him as well.
Kayliemalinza: They're quite nice pictures, which inclines him to be lenient on Franklin, but then he discovers that Franklin was selling them very cheaply.
Kayliemalinza: "How dare you price the Admiral higher than me!" he whines.
lostwiginity: To a pirate captain nonetheless. Through message in a bottle.
Kayliemalinza: Beckett fumes. "No wonder Jack wasn't bothered when I threatened not to strip-tease for him anymore!"
lostwiginity: He wasn't bothered because he could watch him strip on the internet because of that 24/7 cam that Franklin installed in his cabin.
Kayliemalinza: (Which Beckett hasn't discovered yet!)
Kayliemalinza: Surprisingly, the footage of Beckett chewing out Franklin is very popular
Kayliemalinza: Franklin wants to do well by his customers, so the next time Beckett calls him into the cabin (having discovered another sets of photos of him) Franklin is very penitent.
lostwiginity: To get good footage for his webcam, you mean?
Kayliemalinza: He sinks to his knees, murmuring, "I have disappointed you, Lord Beckett. It is your right to punish me as you wish."
lostwiginity: Oh, he's such a slut!
lostwiginity: And Beckett likes that.
Kayliemalinza: Beckett strokes his pimp cane thoughtfully. "Any way I like, hmm?"
lostwiginity: And that's when the cane comes into play. Literally.
Kayliemalinza: Franklin didn't expect to like it this much... but Beckett really knows how to work it!
Kayliemalinza: Afterwards, breathless and smitten, Franklin invites Beckett to become his business partner
lostwiginity: But Becks has his own business already.
Kayliemalinza: He can always expand
lostwiginity: Or they could fuse.
lostwiginity: Pimp'n'Peep
Kayliemalinza: Totally. The EITC delivers paprika AND porn
lostwiginity: You forgot the CRACK it sells.
lostwiginity: The stuff that makes people like Mercer call people like Greitzer "my beloved Blackboard Face".
Kayliemalinza: Ah, yes
Kayliemalinza: It comes hidden in the bottom of paprika tins.
lostwiginity: "That's... erm... Indonesian white paprika. Yes, it is."
Kayliemalinza: Lizzie, holding the tin accusingly, doesn't believe Jack and stomps off in a huff.
Kayliemalinza: Unfortunately, she didn't mention anything to Will, so when he comes into Jack's cabin later, he happily eats the special pasta dish Jack has made for him.
lostwiginity: And since Jack likes to make money by doing what he does best ( which usually is stealing from other ships, but not this time), he allowed Cryer to install a cam in his cabin as well.
Kayliemalinza: Apparently Groves has gotten into the act, and told Cryer that the porn will sell much better if there are more storylines, like a soap opera.
lostwiginity: So Beckett and Cryer expand their buisiness. "Sex, Drugs and Rophypnol" LTD.
Kayliemalinza: Everyone keep buying more and more footage, wondering what will happen when Elizabeth finds out about the Turrow, and what Beckett will do when he discovers what Jack has been doing.
Kayliemalinza: SD&R LTD. starts producing fanmagazines, too
lostwiginity: does he accept Gay Pal?
Kayliemalinza: YES >P
lostwiginity: No, I actually wanted to lend him my gay pal for some photos.
Kayliemalinza: lol, sure. They host contests. "Have you always dreamed of being a model? ENTER NOW and All your dreams can come true! Some restrictions apply."
lostwiginity: What's featured in these magazines, I wonder?
Kayliemalinza: Teaser photos, interviews, gossip columns....
Kayliemalinza: "PASTA SEDUCTION! The swishy Captain Jack "Tasty" Sparrow can't wait to get his hands on Naive, Butch Blacksmith Will Turner! But will their steaming hot relationship be brought to a tragic end when Jack's jealous ex-lover, the Dominating Cutler Beckett, finds out what Jack's been doing??? Subscribe NOW to find out! Send all checks and money orders to HMS Endeavor, c/o Franklin Cryer."
lostwiginity: Wait a sec... what if Elizabeth gets her fingers on those magazines!? Teh horror! Oo
This should put a different spin on future watchings of AWE. ^_^