[Glee] Meddlesome Friends [Kurt/Blaine]
Title: Meddlesome Friends
Author: svz_insanity
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Tina/Mike
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4600
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Spoilers/Warnings: Up to 2x06 .
Summary: Kurt is convinced that the universe does not want him to have nice things. (And his friends keep alternating between being utter cockblocks and trying to get him and Blaine together during their visit to Dalton Academy.)
Notes: Unbeta'd. Sequel to Midweek Morning. Honest to god, this is probably the schmoopiest thing I've written since I was thirteen years old. Instead of pulling an all-nighter on a Saturday night to write the 3000 word sociology paper due tomorrow... I wrote this. Because apparently my priorities are as follows: Kurt/Blaine > class that counts towards my major.
Also, some of Dalton's traditions are based off ones from my college and no, there really is no plot to this fic.
(On the other hand, there are probably dozens of errors in this fic. All my own fault, my apologies! I think every time I try to fix one, I screw up the rest of the sentence structure to render it grammatically incorrect. Go Team Sleep Deprivation and Poor Life Choices!)
Kurt is convinced that the universe does not want him to have nice things.
Under ordinary circumstances, he would think that such a statement would be laughably melodramatic but after spending a week carefully orchestrating Operation: Turnabout is Fair Play (including Facebook stalking Blaine, Wes, and David until he kind of knows their class schedule and spending hours looking at reviews on Yelp) he thinks he’s entitled to be a bit histrionic.
Especially now since all his plans have been completely ruined.
“What I don’t understand,” Kurt says through gritted teeth, while clutching the steering wheel more tightly than necessary, “is why you guys insist on coming along to Dalton with me.”
From the rear-view mirror, he sees three faces stare back him with expressions of wide-eyed innocence.
“Oh, shut up,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes in response to Quinn’s expressive arch. It’s a trick she picked up from Coach Sylvester - it never fails to creep him out; but unlike his terrifying cheerleading coach, Quinn smirks but keeps silent.
But just because she doesn’t say anything out loud doesn’t mean he doesn’t know exactly what she’s thinking.
“I didn’t say anything,” Quinn replies, eyes bright. She takes an earbud out to hear better, and turns to Mercedes. “Did you hear me say anything, ‘Cedes?”
Kurt’s right eye twitches when his best friend (ex-best friend, he decides a moment later) smiles at McKinley High’s head cheerleader and casually snags the free earphone so she could listen to Quinn’s iPod. “No, I don’t think so.”
Oh, hell no.
The next time they’re going shopping, Kurt is going to tell her that they’re the latest trend in Milan - he’s going convince her to buy the ugliest and most costly trucker hat he can find.
“And I’m really unsure why you guys are even here,” Kurt mutters, catching Mike’s eye in the mirror.
Tina fell asleep against Mike’s shoulder within ten minutes into the trip (“She was up really late last night,” Quinn had said airily, Kurt had decided he didn’t want details). Mike’s arm is snaked around Tina’s waist.
Mike shrugs, the motion’s slightly awkward because he’s trying his best not to disturb his girlfriend. “Tina and I got a text from Mercedes telling us to get to your house, stat. We didn’t really ask questions.”
“Hope you learned your lesson, white boy,” Mercedes says, sounding very smug. “Never tell Finn about your plans. He may have promised you he wouldn’t tell your dad you’re driving two hours to see your not-boyfriend, but he let it slip to me you when and where you were going on the phone.”
“Worst almost-stepbrother ever,” Kurt mumbles under his breath; switching lanes and speeding a little.
This drive can't be long enough.
He hears Quinn and Mercedes snicker.
In retaliation, he turns the volume up of his stereo (Mike winces, but visibly relaxes when Tina doesn’t even stir) until he’s sure the two girls can hear every word of “All That Jazz” with Quinn’s crappy Apple earbuds.
Tina only wakes when they pull into the Dalton Academy parking lot.
--
At first, Kurt thinks that there is no way they’ll be able to pull it off.
Out of everyone in the group, he’s the only one wearing anything that could pass as the Dalton school uniform and that’s only because he stole one of Artie’s least offensive-looking red sweater vests.
School uniforms aside, three members of their little group are girls - very pretty teenage girls. This would be a little out of the ordinary to begin with, but they’re currently trying to infiltrate an all-male boarding school and it was nerve-wrecking enough when Kurt snuck in the first time.
But they end up lucking out- they arrived about a half hour after the last school period of the day.
All the teachers who commute to Dalton have already left; those who lived on school grounds are in their offices or have already retired to the teacher apartments behind the academy. There is a steady trickle of day students getting picked up by their parents so their presence isn’t too noticeable.
It helps that it seems like Dalton has a very lax visitor policy (probably too lax, considering how prestigious and expensive the school is, Kurt thinks privately but he’s not about to complain when it works in their favor).
They decide to explore the grounds.
“This place is ridiculous,” Mercedes says, raising an eyebrow at the water fountain in the middle of the quad. It’s large enough for the entire McKinley football team to wade in. “Why on earth would you need a huge fountain outside? We live in Ohio. It snows. ”
“Apparently there’s this of tradition of streaking and skinny-dipping during finals week,” Kurt murmurs, sending a mass text to Blaine, Wes, and David (Where are you? I’m here and I brought ~friends~ to help me kidnap you all). At Mike, Tina, and Mercedes’ expressions, he clarifies - “Not that I know from first hand experience! But this is just what Blaine and everyone told me.” He shrugs. “Old private schools and weird customs; they kind of go hand-in-hand.”
Tina grins at Mike and leans against his arm. “Maybe you should transfer here.”
Mike laughs. “I just think you have a thing for guys in school uniforms. Or out of them.”
“Boys wearing ties, what’s not to like?” Tina turns to Kurt. “Hmm, no-bullying policy, boys in school uniforms, stunning architecture, and weird ancient traditions starring scantily clothed guys - I think we just found Gay Hogwarts or your personal gay utopia.”
Kurt opens his mouth to make a snappy comeback, but thinks better of it.
There honestly is no appropriate response to Tina's comment.
“It’s very nice,” Quinn comments, from her perch at the fountain. “The architecture, I mean.”
She had made a beeline for the fountain as soon as Mercedes pointed it out.
Her scandals are already off and she’s dipping her feet in the cool water (even though Blaine assured him the water’s chlorinated, Kurt’s still convinced that couldn’t be hygienic).
In her white sundress and cardigan and the afternoon sun glinting off her hair, it’s not surprising that she’s caught the notice of some of the admiring students.
Although Quinn appears not to notice how much attention she was attracting.
Kurt narrows his eyes at her.
Barely a minute after his text, his iPhone rings with David telling him they’re on their way.
“It’s very civilized for you to give us a heads up about our abductions before you do it,” David teases, “I think you should look up the word 'kidnapping'in the dictionary, I don't think it means what you think it means. I’m guessing you guys are at the fountain? A couple of guys just ran past yelling something about hot girls in the quad. I’m assuming they’re your friends.”
“That’ll be us,” Kurt replies with a soft sigh, glaring at Quinn out of the corner of his eye. Mercedes, Tina, and Mike have joined her and they were good-naturedly teasing each other with the water. They were the very picture of inconspicuousness. “We’ll see you in a few if we don’t get kicked out by security.”
--
Introductions are always a little awkward, but Kurt supposes they went as well as they could.
The girls are charmed when Wes, and David kissed their hands (“Wes and David have girlfriends, they’re just always like that,” Kurt hurriedly informs Mike, but he shouldn’t have worried - Mike didn’t look at all bothered when Wes complimented Tina on her hair.).
“Are all the girls at McKinley this pretty?” Wes asks Kurt, after hugging him and passing him along to David. “I’m starting to look forward to Sectionals now.”
“Quinn,” Kurt hears Mercedes remind her friend when Wes hugs him, “Quinn - you have a boyfriend. His name is Sam. He’s the quarterback of the football team. Remember?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” When Kurt looks up, he sees Quinn's face flushed, glaring at Mercedes and pointedly avoiding eye contact with Blaine and -
Oh.
Blaine’s hair is still damp and curling from a recent shower. Even with the blazer, Kurt can tell his white dress shirt rumpled and not tucked in. His tie is hanging loosely, Kurt's fingers itch to tie it properly for him.
He’s also wearing reading glasses.
His look isn't bad - he' still gorgeous even if he's a little scruffy, but it's different from how Kurt was used to seeing.
“Hey,” Blaine greets him warmly, his smile broad and easy when he pulls him into a hug. He chuckles when he notices Kurt eyeing his appearance with poorly disguised interest. “My last class was PE and it ran late. David kindly tracked me down in the locker room when he got your text so I didn’t have time to - “ he gestures to his mass of damp curls and glasses, “ - and my contacts were back in the dorm, so, the glasses. ”
“I guess this is what you must look like after all-nighters.” Kurt pretends not to notice that their hug is longer than what is considered socially appropriate between platonic male friends, how is heart is leaping in his chest, or how Blaine must have missed a spot while shaving that morning.
Blaine smells faintly of laundry detergent and soap, it catches Kurt off-guard that he’s not even aware that his hands are slowly curling into fists.
From over Blaine’s shoulder, Kurt sees Quinn’s perfect eyebrows shoot up as realization dawns on her, he can practically see the gears turning in her head, that this is the guy Mercedes keeps talking about when they're gossiping about him.
“Usually, it’s worse before I slick it back.” Blaine clears his throat and finally pulls away. “So, I don’t know if you had anything planned...”
All his plans went out the window the minute his friends pulled into his driveway and invited themselves along, so Kurt hastily says, “No, we don’t. I mean, we’re open to suggestions -”
From behind them he can hear Wes, David, and his other friends are laughing - and he’s pretty sure they’re laughing at them.
--
They end up hanging out in lounge of Blaine’s dorm, watching Mike and Tina trounce everyone at Katamari Damacy and ordering pizza from what Wes assures them is the best pizzeria in the area (“We order from them so often that they recognize my cell phone number,” David says wryly, “I think we’re on first-name basis with the owner.”).
All the hours he spent on Yelp were wasted effort, but Kurt can’t complain - not when he’s sitting next to Blaine on the couch, closer than most friends would. They're close enough that their knees will occasionally knock into each other's. Blaine will sometimes rest a hand on his shoulder while making gesturing animatedly with the other, he can feel the warmth of Blaine’s fingers through the fabric of his sweater and notice how distracting Blaine’s imperfect hair can be.
He knows he's kind of in deep.
And the thing is, Kurt knows he definitely has a type.
His dreadfully misguided crush on Finn Hudson had been one of the worst kept secrets in New Directions- seconded only to Quinn’s pregnancy last year.
He knows he has a type, everyone in the club knows he has a type, and now he’s pretty sure that even Wes and David know that he has a type and it happens to be handsome dark-haired, athletic, musically-inclined boys - and well, shoot, that's practically a checklist.
After seeing the crushing defeat in Wes’s face, Blaine snickers quietly, says; “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Wes look this demoralized since he realized Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’ is a song about oral sex...” he trails off, holding Kurt’s gaze for a long moment, then blink, as though he hadn't been aware of what he had been doing. He drops his gaze and looks around the room. “It was pretty hilarious when that happened.”
“I can imagine, we actually sang that song last year.”
The thing is, if Wes and David are telling the truth - and Kurt knows that although they make fun of Blaine all the time, they’re not the type to lie - then Blaine really is interested in him.
And while Kurt’s pretty certain the feeling's mutual, that he feels the same way... he doesn’t know what to do about it or how to bring it up.
After receiving a lecture from Finn about being too aggressive, he knows he can sometime go overboard - and how much is too much and borders on 'Rachel Berry and her cat calendars' creepy?
Seriously, really. How do people end up in relationships? And how on earth do they bypass the awkward friends-to-couple phase?
It’s a mystery.
Since the relationship statuses of everyone within his circle of friends tend to leans toward dysfunctional, he’s almost positive that taking Blaine out to Breadstix and doing terrible Patrick Swayze impressions might not be the best way of getting a new boyfriend.
(He's pretty sure that once they talk - alone and not with their friends around- things will work out. But the major obstacle of course is the fact that they're currently surrounded by their friends with no privacy. The distance thing also served as a reminder that life had an interesting sense of humor. )
And Kurt already knows it’s such a terrible cliché, crushing on the first gay guy he meets.
But it’s hard not to like Blaine. Not when Blaine drives 92 miles to Lima to help him out in the middle of the school day, or texts him after every practice to ask him about his day, or sings to him snippets of his favorite songs over the phone.
It’s would be so easy to try to convince himself that he’s mistaking friendship with romantic interest, but at least he’s confident that his affections are not unrequited.
Because Blaine’s interested in him.
(For the first time that he's aware of, a guy doesn't want to be just friends and wants to date him.)
Interested, but completely unwilling to make the first move (“He’s afraid of ruining your friendship,” Wes had told him, rolling his eyes, “It’s all up to you now, Kurt. So man up.”) which means that it’s completely up to him - and well, Kurt has a feeling that huge romantic gestures often don’t translate well into real life.
“I’m glad you guys decided to come to ‘kidnap’ us.” Blaine’s looking at him. He still hasn’t let go of Kurt’s hand even after making up fake readings (“I checked out this book on palmistry the other day, give me your hand - I’ll show you...”). Blaine’s own hand is warm and rough with guitar calluses against Kurt’s, and expression he’s wearing is something that Kurt can’t quite decipher. “I’m glad I’m getting to meet some of your friends. They’re nice.”
Almost as though on cue, David curses loudly. “Dammit! What the f -”
The sound of the King of All Cosmos’s thunder-and-lightning effects follows, indicating that he and Wes had managed to fail yet again. Kurt’s beginning to think that he has heard the sound so many times, it’s actually starting to become white noise to him.
Mike and Tina are cackling and high-fiving each other.
They make an adorable (and terrifyingly competitive) team.
“...When they’re not trying to destroy my best friends’ pride, that is,” Blaine adds, lips twitching, trying to fight the urge to crack up at Wes and David’s outrage that Mike and Tina’s completion rate is 96%, much higher than anything they’ve gotten for the past hour. Or ever. “If this continues, I think Wes and David will try to reclaim what’s left of their honor by challenging them to Guitar Hero.”
“You guys have Guitar Hero?” Quinn’s intrigued. She leans forward from her seat next to Mercedes, elbows on her knees. “I love Guitar Hero.”
Mercedes rolls her eyes. “You only like it because you like Sam teaching you.”
Quinn sniffs. “He happens to be an excellent teacher.” She raises an eyebrow at Wes, “Guitar Hero? Or can we at least watch a movie? As hilarious as it is to watch Mike and Tina beat you guys- ” she ignores the adamant protests from Wes and David that they’re just having a bad streak - “ I think I’m going to be hearing ‘Que, Sera, Sera’ in my sleep.”
The room is quiet enough that everyone can still hear the soundtrack of game.
“...My girlfriend left her copy of She’s All That last time she visited?” David offers after a moment. “I think it's in my room.”
There’s a moment of silence as everyone contemplated the option of watching a semi-terrible 90s movie versus continuing to watch Wes and David embarrass themselves and earn the eternal disapproval of the King of All Cosmos.
“Movie,” Mercedes says, leaving no room for argument. “Definitely, movie.”
“I can go get it,” Blaine offers, already getting to his feet, which makes sense since he and David are roommates. At the sudden loss of contact, Kurt unconsciously follows in suit. At Blaine’s arched eyebrow, he stammers out an excuse.
“I’ll just go with you in case you have trouble finding it.” He pretends not to notice Wes’ shoulders shaking with silent laughter or everyone's amused looks at how obvious he is.
He’s pretty sure the look Quinn’s shooting him is the same one she uses when she was dating Finn when he was being painfully obtuse.
“Please, take your time,” David calls, and Kurt can hear the smirk in his voice even though his back is facing towards him. “We’re in no rush. If you guys happen to make a pit stop at a random broom closet on your way back, we won’t mind.”
“In fact,” Wes pipes up. “I think we all fully endorse that idea. The one on the second floor is surprisingly spacious.”
Blaine grabs one of the throw pillows from the couch and launches it in David’s general direction, but he’s laughing. Taking a hold of Kurt’s arm, he leads the way up the staircase next to the lounge.
For all of Dalton’s ostentatious grandeur, they don’t seem to believe in elevators.
“David and I live on the third floor,” Blaine says conversationally, nodding at some of the guys as they pass when they greet him while they climb up the stairs. “ Our room’s mess a right now, but I think I know where it should be. David’s only slightly fanatical about organizing his DVDs in alphabetical order.”
They end up searching for the DVD for a whole fifteen minutes because Blaine and David’s room is a war zone of papers, clothes, and schoolbooks. When She's All That isn’t found on David’s desk or on his freakishly organized bookcase, Blaine attempts get a hold of him with his cell phone but he doesn’t pick up. Neither does Wes, Mike, or any of the girls.
Each time Kurt tries to take advantage of the fact that they’re alone, in Blaine’s dorm room, and attempts to tell the older boy he returns his feelings, something happens that ruins the moment.
Blaine knocks over a folder of sheet music off David’s desk, scattering them all over the room and has to pick them up.
Kurt accidentally trips over Blaine’s fold-able laundry hamper that was hidden under a pile of David’s dirty clothes.
Arthur from two doors down knocks on the door. He asks if he could borrow Blaine’s history textbook.
It’s like Blaine and David’s room and hallmates are trying to cockblock him on purpose after he finally summoned up the courage to make the first move.
And okay, Blaine had shrugged off his blazer off as soon as they entered the room, so his shirt tends to riding up a little in the back - just enough to expose a strip of skin - whenever he’s searching for anything on David’s top bookshelf.
It’s a little distracting.
Kurt is perfectly entitled to being distracted by that. For about five minutes straight.
But eventually, Blaine grabs a random DVD off his own desk, “They’ll just have to deal with--” he squints at the cover, “-- Inception because I think David returned the movie and just forgot.”
Upon their return, they’re greeted by the sight of what appears to be their friends with the majority of the Warblers gathered in the lounge, waiting.
“Hey,” Blaine stares as everyone visibly brightens when they notice their arrival. Wes makes a hand motion to stop the general chatter. “What’s going on?”
Wes eyes the two of them critically, giving them a thorough once-over. He actually seems disappointed, he sighs and mutters something not quite under his breath. “It figures. Gone for almost twenty minutes, I bet they were actually looking for the DVD the entire time...”
David starts to explain, talking over Wes' muttering: “When you two were out looking for the DVD, I got all the Warblers who were around because we figured that you guys would never get around to saying it--”
“And it’s been driving us and everyone around you two crazy,” Wes finishes, looking genuinely tired. “No, really. It’s exhausting to be around that much sexual tension all the time. ”
So apropos nothing, Wes makes another sort of vague hand gesture that's apparently a cue. This results in all the Warblers singing a very passable, if not hastily put together acapella adaptation of The Little Mermaid’s “Kiss the Girl”. The lyrics, of course, are modified to make it gender-appropriate.
Right before the chorus and the sha-la-la’s, Wes turns to them both. Then catching Kurt’s eye, he sings the ad-libbed line “you gotta grow a pair” directly at him which causes Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, and Mike to completely lose it and crack up.
Kurt feels himself flushing; Blaine makes a surprised, choked sound next to him, almost as though he’s trying his best to suppress laughter.
“So,” Blaine says, smiling sheepishly when the song’s finally over. Wes and David managed to usher everyone out of the lounge to give the two of them a moment. “That was... interesting.” He looks up at Kurt (he’s not Finn, Kurt’s brain shouts helpfully, you’re the taller one in this scenario) and acts so uncharacteristically unsure and hesitant and different from his usual, smooth confident self that Kurt can’t take it any longer.
Kurt huffs, rolling his eyes - of course Blaine still won't make the first move - and pulls Blaine forward by his loose tie.
Kurt cups his face and tilts it upward slightly so he can press his lips against Blaine’s; it’s more of an extended peck than an actual kiss - chaste, close-mouthed, and maybe a little too tentative because he’s only ever done this with Brittany before, this is an entirely different ballpark, and he’s not sure he knows what he’s doing--
But Blaine’s hands find their way to the small of Kurt’s back. He deepens it to a real kiss and turns his head side-ways that Kurt can feel the faintest hint of Blaine’s stubble, then makes a small sound that encourages Kurt to swipe a tongue along Blaine’s lower lip and bite it gently.
He only pulls away when he can feel Blaine smiling against his mouth.
Blaine’s eyes are curious. “I thought you’ve never...” A shadow crosses his features and he stops.
“I once made out with a girl,” Kurt blurts out, trying to answer the unasked question. He flushes at Blaine’s raised eyebrow and hurriedly explains, “Before Karofsky attacked me, I mean. It was a mistake, I had - ah - minor sexual orientation crisis last year… a very long story. She was nice enough to try to teach me how to kiss, but it only reminded of how uninterested I am in girls...which is why I try not to count her as my first kiss.”
“I see.” Blaine looks incredibly amused by his rambling, but Kurt detects the slightest trace of concern in his voice at the news of his sexual orientation crisis.
Kurt decides that kissing him again would be an excellent way to derail him going into mentor mode.
This time, he gives into the temptation to run his fingers through Blaine’s short, unkempt curls and wonders if he can convince Blaine to keep his hair that way from now on. Meanwhile, Blaine’s hands travel freely over his back and forearms until they settle comfortably on Kurt’s hips.
He’s only vaguely aware of the sound of the door of the lounge slowly creaking open; the girls’ delighted soft laughter and cheers, and Wes and David’s loud victorious whoops.
“GET IT, BLAINE!”
Startled, Blaine lets out an undignified squawk of surprise, taking Kurt down with him when he falls backwards into the couch, and Kurt finds that he really didn't mind at all.
Author: svz_insanity
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Tina/Mike
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4600
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Spoilers/Warnings: Up to 2x06 .
Summary: Kurt is convinced that the universe does not want him to have nice things. (And his friends keep alternating between being utter cockblocks and trying to get him and Blaine together during their visit to Dalton Academy.)
Notes: Unbeta'd. Sequel to Midweek Morning. Honest to god, this is probably the schmoopiest thing I've written since I was thirteen years old. Instead of pulling an all-nighter on a Saturday night to write the 3000 word sociology paper due tomorrow... I wrote this. Because apparently my priorities are as follows: Kurt/Blaine > class that counts towards my major.
Also, some of Dalton's traditions are based off ones from my college and no, there really is no plot to this fic.
(On the other hand, there are probably dozens of errors in this fic. All my own fault, my apologies! I think every time I try to fix one, I screw up the rest of the sentence structure to render it grammatically incorrect. Go Team Sleep Deprivation and Poor Life Choices!)
Kurt is convinced that the universe does not want him to have nice things.
Under ordinary circumstances, he would think that such a statement would be laughably melodramatic but after spending a week carefully orchestrating Operation: Turnabout is Fair Play (including Facebook stalking Blaine, Wes, and David until he kind of knows their class schedule and spending hours looking at reviews on Yelp) he thinks he’s entitled to be a bit histrionic.
Especially now since all his plans have been completely ruined.
“What I don’t understand,” Kurt says through gritted teeth, while clutching the steering wheel more tightly than necessary, “is why you guys insist on coming along to Dalton with me.”
From the rear-view mirror, he sees three faces stare back him with expressions of wide-eyed innocence.
“Oh, shut up,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes in response to Quinn’s expressive arch. It’s a trick she picked up from Coach Sylvester - it never fails to creep him out; but unlike his terrifying cheerleading coach, Quinn smirks but keeps silent.
But just because she doesn’t say anything out loud doesn’t mean he doesn’t know exactly what she’s thinking.
“I didn’t say anything,” Quinn replies, eyes bright. She takes an earbud out to hear better, and turns to Mercedes. “Did you hear me say anything, ‘Cedes?”
Kurt’s right eye twitches when his best friend (ex-best friend, he decides a moment later) smiles at McKinley High’s head cheerleader and casually snags the free earphone so she could listen to Quinn’s iPod. “No, I don’t think so.”
Oh, hell no.
The next time they’re going shopping, Kurt is going to tell her that they’re the latest trend in Milan - he’s going convince her to buy the ugliest and most costly trucker hat he can find.
“And I’m really unsure why you guys are even here,” Kurt mutters, catching Mike’s eye in the mirror.
Tina fell asleep against Mike’s shoulder within ten minutes into the trip (“She was up really late last night,” Quinn had said airily, Kurt had decided he didn’t want details). Mike’s arm is snaked around Tina’s waist.
Mike shrugs, the motion’s slightly awkward because he’s trying his best not to disturb his girlfriend. “Tina and I got a text from Mercedes telling us to get to your house, stat. We didn’t really ask questions.”
“Hope you learned your lesson, white boy,” Mercedes says, sounding very smug. “Never tell Finn about your plans. He may have promised you he wouldn’t tell your dad you’re driving two hours to see your not-boyfriend, but he let it slip to me you when and where you were going on the phone.”
“Worst almost-stepbrother ever,” Kurt mumbles under his breath; switching lanes and speeding a little.
This drive can't be long enough.
He hears Quinn and Mercedes snicker.
In retaliation, he turns the volume up of his stereo (Mike winces, but visibly relaxes when Tina doesn’t even stir) until he’s sure the two girls can hear every word of “All That Jazz” with Quinn’s crappy Apple earbuds.
Tina only wakes when they pull into the Dalton Academy parking lot.
--
At first, Kurt thinks that there is no way they’ll be able to pull it off.
Out of everyone in the group, he’s the only one wearing anything that could pass as the Dalton school uniform and that’s only because he stole one of Artie’s least offensive-looking red sweater vests.
School uniforms aside, three members of their little group are girls - very pretty teenage girls. This would be a little out of the ordinary to begin with, but they’re currently trying to infiltrate an all-male boarding school and it was nerve-wrecking enough when Kurt snuck in the first time.
But they end up lucking out- they arrived about a half hour after the last school period of the day.
All the teachers who commute to Dalton have already left; those who lived on school grounds are in their offices or have already retired to the teacher apartments behind the academy. There is a steady trickle of day students getting picked up by their parents so their presence isn’t too noticeable.
It helps that it seems like Dalton has a very lax visitor policy (probably too lax, considering how prestigious and expensive the school is, Kurt thinks privately but he’s not about to complain when it works in their favor).
They decide to explore the grounds.
“This place is ridiculous,” Mercedes says, raising an eyebrow at the water fountain in the middle of the quad. It’s large enough for the entire McKinley football team to wade in. “Why on earth would you need a huge fountain outside? We live in Ohio. It snows. ”
“Apparently there’s this of tradition of streaking and skinny-dipping during finals week,” Kurt murmurs, sending a mass text to Blaine, Wes, and David (Where are you? I’m here and I brought ~friends~ to help me kidnap you all). At Mike, Tina, and Mercedes’ expressions, he clarifies - “Not that I know from first hand experience! But this is just what Blaine and everyone told me.” He shrugs. “Old private schools and weird customs; they kind of go hand-in-hand.”
Tina grins at Mike and leans against his arm. “Maybe you should transfer here.”
Mike laughs. “I just think you have a thing for guys in school uniforms. Or out of them.”
“Boys wearing ties, what’s not to like?” Tina turns to Kurt. “Hmm, no-bullying policy, boys in school uniforms, stunning architecture, and weird ancient traditions starring scantily clothed guys - I think we just found Gay Hogwarts or your personal gay utopia.”
Kurt opens his mouth to make a snappy comeback, but thinks better of it.
There honestly is no appropriate response to Tina's comment.
“It’s very nice,” Quinn comments, from her perch at the fountain. “The architecture, I mean.”
She had made a beeline for the fountain as soon as Mercedes pointed it out.
Her scandals are already off and she’s dipping her feet in the cool water (even though Blaine assured him the water’s chlorinated, Kurt’s still convinced that couldn’t be hygienic).
In her white sundress and cardigan and the afternoon sun glinting off her hair, it’s not surprising that she’s caught the notice of some of the admiring students.
Although Quinn appears not to notice how much attention she was attracting.
Kurt narrows his eyes at her.
Barely a minute after his text, his iPhone rings with David telling him they’re on their way.
“It’s very civilized for you to give us a heads up about our abductions before you do it,” David teases, “I think you should look up the word 'kidnapping'in the dictionary, I don't think it means what you think it means. I’m guessing you guys are at the fountain? A couple of guys just ran past yelling something about hot girls in the quad. I’m assuming they’re your friends.”
“That’ll be us,” Kurt replies with a soft sigh, glaring at Quinn out of the corner of his eye. Mercedes, Tina, and Mike have joined her and they were good-naturedly teasing each other with the water. They were the very picture of inconspicuousness. “We’ll see you in a few if we don’t get kicked out by security.”
--
Introductions are always a little awkward, but Kurt supposes they went as well as they could.
The girls are charmed when Wes, and David kissed their hands (“Wes and David have girlfriends, they’re just always like that,” Kurt hurriedly informs Mike, but he shouldn’t have worried - Mike didn’t look at all bothered when Wes complimented Tina on her hair.).
“Are all the girls at McKinley this pretty?” Wes asks Kurt, after hugging him and passing him along to David. “I’m starting to look forward to Sectionals now.”
“Quinn,” Kurt hears Mercedes remind her friend when Wes hugs him, “Quinn - you have a boyfriend. His name is Sam. He’s the quarterback of the football team. Remember?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” When Kurt looks up, he sees Quinn's face flushed, glaring at Mercedes and pointedly avoiding eye contact with Blaine and -
Oh.
Blaine’s hair is still damp and curling from a recent shower. Even with the blazer, Kurt can tell his white dress shirt rumpled and not tucked in. His tie is hanging loosely, Kurt's fingers itch to tie it properly for him.
He’s also wearing reading glasses.
His look isn't bad - he' still gorgeous even if he's a little scruffy, but it's different from how Kurt was used to seeing.
“Hey,” Blaine greets him warmly, his smile broad and easy when he pulls him into a hug. He chuckles when he notices Kurt eyeing his appearance with poorly disguised interest. “My last class was PE and it ran late. David kindly tracked me down in the locker room when he got your text so I didn’t have time to - “ he gestures to his mass of damp curls and glasses, “ - and my contacts were back in the dorm, so, the glasses. ”
“I guess this is what you must look like after all-nighters.” Kurt pretends not to notice that their hug is longer than what is considered socially appropriate between platonic male friends, how is heart is leaping in his chest, or how Blaine must have missed a spot while shaving that morning.
Blaine smells faintly of laundry detergent and soap, it catches Kurt off-guard that he’s not even aware that his hands are slowly curling into fists.
From over Blaine’s shoulder, Kurt sees Quinn’s perfect eyebrows shoot up as realization dawns on her, he can practically see the gears turning in her head, that this is the guy Mercedes keeps talking about when they're gossiping about him.
“Usually, it’s worse before I slick it back.” Blaine clears his throat and finally pulls away. “So, I don’t know if you had anything planned...”
All his plans went out the window the minute his friends pulled into his driveway and invited themselves along, so Kurt hastily says, “No, we don’t. I mean, we’re open to suggestions -”
From behind them he can hear Wes, David, and his other friends are laughing - and he’s pretty sure they’re laughing at them.
--
They end up hanging out in lounge of Blaine’s dorm, watching Mike and Tina trounce everyone at Katamari Damacy and ordering pizza from what Wes assures them is the best pizzeria in the area (“We order from them so often that they recognize my cell phone number,” David says wryly, “I think we’re on first-name basis with the owner.”).
All the hours he spent on Yelp were wasted effort, but Kurt can’t complain - not when he’s sitting next to Blaine on the couch, closer than most friends would. They're close enough that their knees will occasionally knock into each other's. Blaine will sometimes rest a hand on his shoulder while making gesturing animatedly with the other, he can feel the warmth of Blaine’s fingers through the fabric of his sweater and notice how distracting Blaine’s imperfect hair can be.
He knows he's kind of in deep.
And the thing is, Kurt knows he definitely has a type.
His dreadfully misguided crush on Finn Hudson had been one of the worst kept secrets in New Directions- seconded only to Quinn’s pregnancy last year.
He knows he has a type, everyone in the club knows he has a type, and now he’s pretty sure that even Wes and David know that he has a type and it happens to be handsome dark-haired, athletic, musically-inclined boys - and well, shoot, that's practically a checklist.
After seeing the crushing defeat in Wes’s face, Blaine snickers quietly, says; “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Wes look this demoralized since he realized Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’ is a song about oral sex...” he trails off, holding Kurt’s gaze for a long moment, then blink, as though he hadn't been aware of what he had been doing. He drops his gaze and looks around the room. “It was pretty hilarious when that happened.”
“I can imagine, we actually sang that song last year.”
The thing is, if Wes and David are telling the truth - and Kurt knows that although they make fun of Blaine all the time, they’re not the type to lie - then Blaine really is interested in him.
And while Kurt’s pretty certain the feeling's mutual, that he feels the same way... he doesn’t know what to do about it or how to bring it up.
After receiving a lecture from Finn about being too aggressive, he knows he can sometime go overboard - and how much is too much and borders on 'Rachel Berry and her cat calendars' creepy?
Seriously, really. How do people end up in relationships? And how on earth do they bypass the awkward friends-to-couple phase?
It’s a mystery.
Since the relationship statuses of everyone within his circle of friends tend to leans toward dysfunctional, he’s almost positive that taking Blaine out to Breadstix and doing terrible Patrick Swayze impressions might not be the best way of getting a new boyfriend.
(He's pretty sure that once they talk - alone and not with their friends around- things will work out. But the major obstacle of course is the fact that they're currently surrounded by their friends with no privacy. The distance thing also served as a reminder that life had an interesting sense of humor. )
And Kurt already knows it’s such a terrible cliché, crushing on the first gay guy he meets.
But it’s hard not to like Blaine. Not when Blaine drives 92 miles to Lima to help him out in the middle of the school day, or texts him after every practice to ask him about his day, or sings to him snippets of his favorite songs over the phone.
It’s would be so easy to try to convince himself that he’s mistaking friendship with romantic interest, but at least he’s confident that his affections are not unrequited.
Because Blaine’s interested in him.
(For the first time that he's aware of, a guy doesn't want to be just friends and wants to date him.)
Interested, but completely unwilling to make the first move (“He’s afraid of ruining your friendship,” Wes had told him, rolling his eyes, “It’s all up to you now, Kurt. So man up.”) which means that it’s completely up to him - and well, Kurt has a feeling that huge romantic gestures often don’t translate well into real life.
“I’m glad you guys decided to come to ‘kidnap’ us.” Blaine’s looking at him. He still hasn’t let go of Kurt’s hand even after making up fake readings (“I checked out this book on palmistry the other day, give me your hand - I’ll show you...”). Blaine’s own hand is warm and rough with guitar calluses against Kurt’s, and expression he’s wearing is something that Kurt can’t quite decipher. “I’m glad I’m getting to meet some of your friends. They’re nice.”
Almost as though on cue, David curses loudly. “Dammit! What the f -”
The sound of the King of All Cosmos’s thunder-and-lightning effects follows, indicating that he and Wes had managed to fail yet again. Kurt’s beginning to think that he has heard the sound so many times, it’s actually starting to become white noise to him.
Mike and Tina are cackling and high-fiving each other.
They make an adorable (and terrifyingly competitive) team.
“...When they’re not trying to destroy my best friends’ pride, that is,” Blaine adds, lips twitching, trying to fight the urge to crack up at Wes and David’s outrage that Mike and Tina’s completion rate is 96%, much higher than anything they’ve gotten for the past hour. Or ever. “If this continues, I think Wes and David will try to reclaim what’s left of their honor by challenging them to Guitar Hero.”
“You guys have Guitar Hero?” Quinn’s intrigued. She leans forward from her seat next to Mercedes, elbows on her knees. “I love Guitar Hero.”
Mercedes rolls her eyes. “You only like it because you like Sam teaching you.”
Quinn sniffs. “He happens to be an excellent teacher.” She raises an eyebrow at Wes, “Guitar Hero? Or can we at least watch a movie? As hilarious as it is to watch Mike and Tina beat you guys- ” she ignores the adamant protests from Wes and David that they’re just having a bad streak - “ I think I’m going to be hearing ‘Que, Sera, Sera’ in my sleep.”
The room is quiet enough that everyone can still hear the soundtrack of game.
“...My girlfriend left her copy of She’s All That last time she visited?” David offers after a moment. “I think it's in my room.”
There’s a moment of silence as everyone contemplated the option of watching a semi-terrible 90s movie versus continuing to watch Wes and David embarrass themselves and earn the eternal disapproval of the King of All Cosmos.
“Movie,” Mercedes says, leaving no room for argument. “Definitely, movie.”
“I can go get it,” Blaine offers, already getting to his feet, which makes sense since he and David are roommates. At the sudden loss of contact, Kurt unconsciously follows in suit. At Blaine’s arched eyebrow, he stammers out an excuse.
“I’ll just go with you in case you have trouble finding it.” He pretends not to notice Wes’ shoulders shaking with silent laughter or everyone's amused looks at how obvious he is.
He’s pretty sure the look Quinn’s shooting him is the same one she uses when she was dating Finn when he was being painfully obtuse.
“Please, take your time,” David calls, and Kurt can hear the smirk in his voice even though his back is facing towards him. “We’re in no rush. If you guys happen to make a pit stop at a random broom closet on your way back, we won’t mind.”
“In fact,” Wes pipes up. “I think we all fully endorse that idea. The one on the second floor is surprisingly spacious.”
Blaine grabs one of the throw pillows from the couch and launches it in David’s general direction, but he’s laughing. Taking a hold of Kurt’s arm, he leads the way up the staircase next to the lounge.
For all of Dalton’s ostentatious grandeur, they don’t seem to believe in elevators.
“David and I live on the third floor,” Blaine says conversationally, nodding at some of the guys as they pass when they greet him while they climb up the stairs. “ Our room’s mess a right now, but I think I know where it should be. David’s only slightly fanatical about organizing his DVDs in alphabetical order.”
They end up searching for the DVD for a whole fifteen minutes because Blaine and David’s room is a war zone of papers, clothes, and schoolbooks. When She's All That isn’t found on David’s desk or on his freakishly organized bookcase, Blaine attempts get a hold of him with his cell phone but he doesn’t pick up. Neither does Wes, Mike, or any of the girls.
Each time Kurt tries to take advantage of the fact that they’re alone, in Blaine’s dorm room, and attempts to tell the older boy he returns his feelings, something happens that ruins the moment.
Blaine knocks over a folder of sheet music off David’s desk, scattering them all over the room and has to pick them up.
Kurt accidentally trips over Blaine’s fold-able laundry hamper that was hidden under a pile of David’s dirty clothes.
Arthur from two doors down knocks on the door. He asks if he could borrow Blaine’s history textbook.
It’s like Blaine and David’s room and hallmates are trying to cockblock him on purpose after he finally summoned up the courage to make the first move.
And okay, Blaine had shrugged off his blazer off as soon as they entered the room, so his shirt tends to riding up a little in the back - just enough to expose a strip of skin - whenever he’s searching for anything on David’s top bookshelf.
It’s a little distracting.
Kurt is perfectly entitled to being distracted by that. For about five minutes straight.
But eventually, Blaine grabs a random DVD off his own desk, “They’ll just have to deal with--” he squints at the cover, “-- Inception because I think David returned the movie and just forgot.”
Upon their return, they’re greeted by the sight of what appears to be their friends with the majority of the Warblers gathered in the lounge, waiting.
“Hey,” Blaine stares as everyone visibly brightens when they notice their arrival. Wes makes a hand motion to stop the general chatter. “What’s going on?”
Wes eyes the two of them critically, giving them a thorough once-over. He actually seems disappointed, he sighs and mutters something not quite under his breath. “It figures. Gone for almost twenty minutes, I bet they were actually looking for the DVD the entire time...”
David starts to explain, talking over Wes' muttering: “When you two were out looking for the DVD, I got all the Warblers who were around because we figured that you guys would never get around to saying it--”
“And it’s been driving us and everyone around you two crazy,” Wes finishes, looking genuinely tired. “No, really. It’s exhausting to be around that much sexual tension all the time. ”
So apropos nothing, Wes makes another sort of vague hand gesture that's apparently a cue. This results in all the Warblers singing a very passable, if not hastily put together acapella adaptation of The Little Mermaid’s “Kiss the Girl”. The lyrics, of course, are modified to make it gender-appropriate.
Right before the chorus and the sha-la-la’s, Wes turns to them both. Then catching Kurt’s eye, he sings the ad-libbed line “you gotta grow a pair” directly at him which causes Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, and Mike to completely lose it and crack up.
Kurt feels himself flushing; Blaine makes a surprised, choked sound next to him, almost as though he’s trying his best to suppress laughter.
“So,” Blaine says, smiling sheepishly when the song’s finally over. Wes and David managed to usher everyone out of the lounge to give the two of them a moment. “That was... interesting.” He looks up at Kurt (he’s not Finn, Kurt’s brain shouts helpfully, you’re the taller one in this scenario) and acts so uncharacteristically unsure and hesitant and different from his usual, smooth confident self that Kurt can’t take it any longer.
Kurt huffs, rolling his eyes - of course Blaine still won't make the first move - and pulls Blaine forward by his loose tie.
Kurt cups his face and tilts it upward slightly so he can press his lips against Blaine’s; it’s more of an extended peck than an actual kiss - chaste, close-mouthed, and maybe a little too tentative because he’s only ever done this with Brittany before, this is an entirely different ballpark, and he’s not sure he knows what he’s doing--
But Blaine’s hands find their way to the small of Kurt’s back. He deepens it to a real kiss and turns his head side-ways that Kurt can feel the faintest hint of Blaine’s stubble, then makes a small sound that encourages Kurt to swipe a tongue along Blaine’s lower lip and bite it gently.
He only pulls away when he can feel Blaine smiling against his mouth.
Blaine’s eyes are curious. “I thought you’ve never...” A shadow crosses his features and he stops.
“I once made out with a girl,” Kurt blurts out, trying to answer the unasked question. He flushes at Blaine’s raised eyebrow and hurriedly explains, “Before Karofsky attacked me, I mean. It was a mistake, I had - ah - minor sexual orientation crisis last year… a very long story. She was nice enough to try to teach me how to kiss, but it only reminded of how uninterested I am in girls...which is why I try not to count her as my first kiss.”
“I see.” Blaine looks incredibly amused by his rambling, but Kurt detects the slightest trace of concern in his voice at the news of his sexual orientation crisis.
Kurt decides that kissing him again would be an excellent way to derail him going into mentor mode.
This time, he gives into the temptation to run his fingers through Blaine’s short, unkempt curls and wonders if he can convince Blaine to keep his hair that way from now on. Meanwhile, Blaine’s hands travel freely over his back and forearms until they settle comfortably on Kurt’s hips.
He’s only vaguely aware of the sound of the door of the lounge slowly creaking open; the girls’ delighted soft laughter and cheers, and Wes and David’s loud victorious whoops.
“GET IT, BLAINE!”
Startled, Blaine lets out an undignified squawk of surprise, taking Kurt down with him when he falls backwards into the couch, and Kurt finds that he really didn't mind at all.