all i ever learned from love (was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you)
all i ever learned from love (was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you)
Fandom: Dragon Age II
Characters/Pairing: Fenris/F!Hawke
Rating: PG-13
Warning[s]: Um... minor violence? Nothing that's near as bad as the game itself, though, so... I think maybe one or two swear words slipped in there, as well. That one is all Isabela's fault, though. Run-on sentences (what? They only let me use a single sentence per prompt. Of course there are run-on sentences...). Spoilers for all of DAII and the Fenris romance.
Summary: The evolution of a relationship in fifty sentences.
Notes: Written for 1sentence 's epsilon set. This...wasn't actually supposed to exist, not going to lie. There was a joke followed by a dare and all of a sudden it was halfway written and it seemed a shame not to finish it. I'm a little uncertain about writing Fenris-fic - it's new and unexpected and a little intimidating after so long playing with around solely with Anders-centric stories - but I think I did okay on this one. I perhaps had a little too much fun writing this, but I won't tell if you won't. Though now I kind of want to go back and do it all over again with a different pairing. Hmm...
Title is, obviously, taken from Leonard Cohen's song, Hallelujah.
9. War
For the first three years of their acquaintance, conversations dance around the subject of her magic; he does not approve and the fact infuriates her but they both know that bringing it up will only result in a fight of such magnitude that it shatters the tentative friendship they have developed (though this does not mean that she is not quietly determined to prove him wrong, only that she does not intend to use words to do it).
35. Sarcasm
She knows her sharp tongue does little to endear her to him but she cannot bring herself to curb it; he will accept her as she is or not at all - she refuses to try to be something she is not.
47. Valiant
It is a daunting task, overcoming his hatred of mages, but she suspects the reward is worth the effort and puts everything she has into succeeding.
28. Jousting
When he offers to teach her to use a blade as a second line of defense should her magic ever fail, she is thrilled: it is the first time he acknowledges her magic without an undercurrent of disgust in his eyes (the fact that it means extended periods of time in close proximity to him does not hurt, either).
5. Worry
She does not miss the fact that his first act after battle is always to make sure she is unharmed, but she refuses to read too much into it (it is only natural - she is their leader and without her their group will splinter into so many warring factions, it doesn't mean anything else).
18. Balloon
Her spell all but explodes the monstrous spider bearing down on him, intestines spilling from its suddenly-deflated abdomen and she hates the fact that even covered in spider guts she still wants him.
22. Quirks
It is the day she realizes that she finds the way he stubbornly refuses to clean any part of the mansion (and seriously, it's been three years - he could at least get rid of the corpses...) endearing that she knows she is utterly in love with that damn elf.
44. Near
He hovers at her side, close enough to touch, and it takes everything she has not to reach out and close that distance.
20. Bane
The strength of her fury when the slavers demand the return of their “property” surprises even her and she does not even try for a peaceful solution before lashing out with staff and spell until only corpses remain.
32. Sorrow
She wakes the next morning to an empty bed and anguish in his eyes and she knows then that this will not happen again.
8. Whiskey and rum
When Isabela offers her an evening of heavy drinking, she jumps on the chance to drown her memories in vast quantities of hard liquor; but no matter how much or how fast she drinks she cannot forget the touch of his hands, the taste of his kiss.
2. Waltz
They have hardly spoken a word to each other since he walked out on her but in battle they are as effective a team as ever, his sword and her spells weaving together in a dance more beautiful than any waltz.
27. Jester
She loves Varric dearly but the next time he tries to bring up her (nonexistent shattered hopeless) relationship she is going to fling a lightning bolt at his head.
1. Walking
He hasn't walked beside her since that night, always a few paces behind now, and there are no words for how much she misses his presence at her side.
37. Soliloquy
Every night she plans a new way to break the silence between them, practices it in front of the mirror until she has it memorized, but every morning she is met with his tense shoulders and cold eyes and the words die on her tongue.
50. Defeat
She knows it is his defense mechanism, but the first time he responds to her tentative overtures of reconciliation with a snarl and sharp words, she nearly gives up on the whole damned thing.
38. Sojourn
It is raining on their trek to Sundermount and they all spend the entire journey complaining about it, but when she slips in the mud he catches her with a hand at her elbow - it is the first time they have touched since that night and she decides right then that she loves that damned rain.
45. Natural
Everything is awkward at first, both of them unsure and afraid, but time passes and they fall into a rhythm of careful words and safe distances until they can almost pretend it has always been this way.
40. Solitary
Every once in a while she considers taking Isabela up on her offer of “a little fun, you know, to take the edge off” - she knows the pirate has no qualms about being a rebound fuck as long as the sex is good (and it would be very good, she is certain) - but then her thoughts will turn to emerald eyes and deceptively gentle hands and she always goes to bed alone.
24. Quarrel
He and Anders are bickering again and if they don't get over themselves already she is going to throw a fireball at both of them just to shut them up (though she suspects even that will not work and they'll just find a way to blame each other and start the whole messy thing over again).
42. Neutral
They continue his reading lessons (they are both far too stubborn to stop) but move from his mansion to a private room at the Hanged Man, universally understood as neutral territory.
16. Breaking
One madman's obsession has left her entire world in pieces and it is only his warmth beside her that keeps her from falling apart right alongside it.
3. Wishes
They fall back into a comfortable friendship (of sorts) and if she sometimes wishes things were different, well, that's no one's business but hers.
34. Serenade
She knows there is a lute in his mansion kept in good condition; she wonders if he is any good, then realizes she will probably never find out.
15. Breathing
He falls, a bandit's arrow in his chest and her entire world just stops.
11. Birthday
For her birthday they throw her a party at the Hanged Man; he isn't there, but when she gets home he is standing at her door holding a gift painstakingly wrapped in red paper and she forgives him his absence.
49. Victory
When the Arishok falls beneath the strength of her magic, the knowledge that the Qunari will leave in peace is nothing compared to seeing the utter relief in his eyes (she can think of no better reward than confirmation that he still cares).
13. Bias
He accompanies her to the official ceremony declaring her Champion - they all do - and it is the first time she has seen him wear anything other than his armor: it is one of the most breathtaking things she has ever seen (though it is possible that she is a bit biased...).
10. Weddings
At Aveline's wedding he tries to teach her to dance; she never does quite get the hang of the steps but she can't bring herself to consider it time wasted.
48. Virtuous
It should bother her, the ease with which he is prepared to kill Varania, but it doesn't: he listens to her words in the end and she is more than willing to act as his conscience when he cannot.
26. Jump
They have spent the last three years in a holding pattern, neither willing to take that first step off solid ground, but when she shows up at his mansion after Danarius's death she thinks that maybe it's time to leap.
33. Stupidity
She isn't sure she trusts him not to break her heart (again) but he is standing there with wide eyes, hopeful and yearning and there is no force on Thedas that could make her turn him away (not even herself).
41. Nowhere
She is a woman who is always moving, barely finishing a task before she is moving onto something else, but as she lays here in his arms there is nowhere else she wants to be.
31. Smirk
For six years her favorite of his expressions (she refuses to think about the implications of having a favorite facial expression, because that's a little too sad and pathetic even for her...) is the little half-smirk he wears on the rare occasions when he makes a joke - it is as close to happy as she sees him get and she treasures it; but after the first night without memories or pain she knows what true bliss looks like and all of a sudden the quiet smirks are no longer enough.
23. Question
He carries more scars than anyone she has ever met, lyrium brands notwithstanding, and it is embarrassing how often she wonders where they came from (but he will never offer the information himself and she knows better than to ever ask).
36. Sordid
She refuses to tell Isabela anything about their relationship, so the pirate decides to fill in the blanks on her own; it takes less than a week of hearing snippets of “friend-fiction” before she breaks - nothing she says can possibly embarrass her more than what Isabela has already made up.
25. Quitting
Life as Champion of Kirkwall and apostate mage is far from easy but every time she worries that it is too much, that she can't do it he is there, offering strength and unwavering, unconditional support and she forgets why she was concerned in the first place.
39. Share
Eventually he comes to terms with her habit of lighting the fire with magic and she learns to live with the fact that his hatred of shoes means her (their) sheets are perpetually streaked with mud - after all, part of sharing your life with someone (part of loving someone) is learning to accept their... eccentricities.
30. Just
After he kisses her in front of the others for the first time, she sees Anders' eyes flare blue and she wonders idly if Justice approves of jealousy.
19. Balcony
She knows that her neighbors do not approve of their relationship so she makes a point of spending warm evenings curled up with him on her (their) balcony for all the world to see, because she loves this impossible elf and nothing they can say or do will change that.
21. Quiet
So much of their lives are spent running around, flighting and killing and bleeding, but it is the quiet moments she likes the most, evenings when she can sit with him in front of the fire and talk or read or just relax, a moment of calm in the storm sweeping through the city.
29. Jewel
She laughs when she unwraps her birthday present from Varric - a pair of earrings, their gems a familiar shade of emerald.
6. Whimsy
Every once in a while she can almost convince herself that they might find their happy ending after all.
7. Waste/Wasteland
She is frozen, staring at the carnage Anders has wreaked, at the chaos of her city, and even his presence beside her does not make this any easier.
17. Belief
When she sides with the mages she is certain he will leave rather than protect those he so loathes, but she cannot do otherwise (not when the only alternative is a power-mad woman and genocide).
4. Wonder
And yet against all odds, he stays.
14. Burning
Kirkwall is on fire and the entire world has gone mad but despite everything he is still at her side and that alone makes her think that maybe they can win this after all.
43. Nuance
He first tells her he loves her as they wait for the templars to arrive, the city burning around them, and as much as she enjoys hearing it she wishes he had waited just a little longer - now it sounds too much like “good-bye”.
12. Blessing
When Carver takes him aside after they flee Kirkwall to give his own version of the “break her heart and I'll break your face” speech she can't decide if she is annoyed at the presumption or pleased by the acceptance it implies.
46. Horizon
It is not what she had expected, but standing on the deck of Isabela's ship with Fenris's arms around her waist, Marian Hawke cannot bring herself to regret anything at all.
Fandom: Dragon Age II
Characters/Pairing: Fenris/F!Hawke
Rating: PG-13
Warning[s]: Um... minor violence? Nothing that's near as bad as the game itself, though, so... I think maybe one or two swear words slipped in there, as well. That one is all Isabela's fault, though. Run-on sentences (what? They only let me use a single sentence per prompt. Of course there are run-on sentences...). Spoilers for all of DAII and the Fenris romance.
Summary: The evolution of a relationship in fifty sentences.
Notes: Written for 1sentence 's epsilon set. This...wasn't actually supposed to exist, not going to lie. There was a joke followed by a dare and all of a sudden it was halfway written and it seemed a shame not to finish it. I'm a little uncertain about writing Fenris-fic - it's new and unexpected and a little intimidating after so long playing with around solely with Anders-centric stories - but I think I did okay on this one. I perhaps had a little too much fun writing this, but I won't tell if you won't. Though now I kind of want to go back and do it all over again with a different pairing. Hmm...
Title is, obviously, taken from Leonard Cohen's song, Hallelujah.
9. War
For the first three years of their acquaintance, conversations dance around the subject of her magic; he does not approve and the fact infuriates her but they both know that bringing it up will only result in a fight of such magnitude that it shatters the tentative friendship they have developed (though this does not mean that she is not quietly determined to prove him wrong, only that she does not intend to use words to do it).
35. Sarcasm
She knows her sharp tongue does little to endear her to him but she cannot bring herself to curb it; he will accept her as she is or not at all - she refuses to try to be something she is not.
47. Valiant
It is a daunting task, overcoming his hatred of mages, but she suspects the reward is worth the effort and puts everything she has into succeeding.
28. Jousting
When he offers to teach her to use a blade as a second line of defense should her magic ever fail, she is thrilled: it is the first time he acknowledges her magic without an undercurrent of disgust in his eyes (the fact that it means extended periods of time in close proximity to him does not hurt, either).
5. Worry
She does not miss the fact that his first act after battle is always to make sure she is unharmed, but she refuses to read too much into it (it is only natural - she is their leader and without her their group will splinter into so many warring factions, it doesn't mean anything else).
18. Balloon
Her spell all but explodes the monstrous spider bearing down on him, intestines spilling from its suddenly-deflated abdomen and she hates the fact that even covered in spider guts she still wants him.
22. Quirks
It is the day she realizes that she finds the way he stubbornly refuses to clean any part of the mansion (and seriously, it's been three years - he could at least get rid of the corpses...) endearing that she knows she is utterly in love with that damn elf.
44. Near
He hovers at her side, close enough to touch, and it takes everything she has not to reach out and close that distance.
20. Bane
The strength of her fury when the slavers demand the return of their “property” surprises even her and she does not even try for a peaceful solution before lashing out with staff and spell until only corpses remain.
32. Sorrow
She wakes the next morning to an empty bed and anguish in his eyes and she knows then that this will not happen again.
8. Whiskey and rum
When Isabela offers her an evening of heavy drinking, she jumps on the chance to drown her memories in vast quantities of hard liquor; but no matter how much or how fast she drinks she cannot forget the touch of his hands, the taste of his kiss.
2. Waltz
They have hardly spoken a word to each other since he walked out on her but in battle they are as effective a team as ever, his sword and her spells weaving together in a dance more beautiful than any waltz.
27. Jester
She loves Varric dearly but the next time he tries to bring up her (nonexistent shattered hopeless) relationship she is going to fling a lightning bolt at his head.
1. Walking
He hasn't walked beside her since that night, always a few paces behind now, and there are no words for how much she misses his presence at her side.
37. Soliloquy
Every night she plans a new way to break the silence between them, practices it in front of the mirror until she has it memorized, but every morning she is met with his tense shoulders and cold eyes and the words die on her tongue.
50. Defeat
She knows it is his defense mechanism, but the first time he responds to her tentative overtures of reconciliation with a snarl and sharp words, she nearly gives up on the whole damned thing.
38. Sojourn
It is raining on their trek to Sundermount and they all spend the entire journey complaining about it, but when she slips in the mud he catches her with a hand at her elbow - it is the first time they have touched since that night and she decides right then that she loves that damned rain.
45. Natural
Everything is awkward at first, both of them unsure and afraid, but time passes and they fall into a rhythm of careful words and safe distances until they can almost pretend it has always been this way.
40. Solitary
Every once in a while she considers taking Isabela up on her offer of “a little fun, you know, to take the edge off” - she knows the pirate has no qualms about being a rebound fuck as long as the sex is good (and it would be very good, she is certain) - but then her thoughts will turn to emerald eyes and deceptively gentle hands and she always goes to bed alone.
24. Quarrel
He and Anders are bickering again and if they don't get over themselves already she is going to throw a fireball at both of them just to shut them up (though she suspects even that will not work and they'll just find a way to blame each other and start the whole messy thing over again).
42. Neutral
They continue his reading lessons (they are both far too stubborn to stop) but move from his mansion to a private room at the Hanged Man, universally understood as neutral territory.
16. Breaking
One madman's obsession has left her entire world in pieces and it is only his warmth beside her that keeps her from falling apart right alongside it.
3. Wishes
They fall back into a comfortable friendship (of sorts) and if she sometimes wishes things were different, well, that's no one's business but hers.
34. Serenade
She knows there is a lute in his mansion kept in good condition; she wonders if he is any good, then realizes she will probably never find out.
15. Breathing
He falls, a bandit's arrow in his chest and her entire world just stops.
11. Birthday
For her birthday they throw her a party at the Hanged Man; he isn't there, but when she gets home he is standing at her door holding a gift painstakingly wrapped in red paper and she forgives him his absence.
49. Victory
When the Arishok falls beneath the strength of her magic, the knowledge that the Qunari will leave in peace is nothing compared to seeing the utter relief in his eyes (she can think of no better reward than confirmation that he still cares).
13. Bias
He accompanies her to the official ceremony declaring her Champion - they all do - and it is the first time she has seen him wear anything other than his armor: it is one of the most breathtaking things she has ever seen (though it is possible that she is a bit biased...).
10. Weddings
At Aveline's wedding he tries to teach her to dance; she never does quite get the hang of the steps but she can't bring herself to consider it time wasted.
48. Virtuous
It should bother her, the ease with which he is prepared to kill Varania, but it doesn't: he listens to her words in the end and she is more than willing to act as his conscience when he cannot.
26. Jump
They have spent the last three years in a holding pattern, neither willing to take that first step off solid ground, but when she shows up at his mansion after Danarius's death she thinks that maybe it's time to leap.
33. Stupidity
She isn't sure she trusts him not to break her heart (again) but he is standing there with wide eyes, hopeful and yearning and there is no force on Thedas that could make her turn him away (not even herself).
41. Nowhere
She is a woman who is always moving, barely finishing a task before she is moving onto something else, but as she lays here in his arms there is nowhere else she wants to be.
31. Smirk
For six years her favorite of his expressions (she refuses to think about the implications of having a favorite facial expression, because that's a little too sad and pathetic even for her...) is the little half-smirk he wears on the rare occasions when he makes a joke - it is as close to happy as she sees him get and she treasures it; but after the first night without memories or pain she knows what true bliss looks like and all of a sudden the quiet smirks are no longer enough.
23. Question
He carries more scars than anyone she has ever met, lyrium brands notwithstanding, and it is embarrassing how often she wonders where they came from (but he will never offer the information himself and she knows better than to ever ask).
36. Sordid
She refuses to tell Isabela anything about their relationship, so the pirate decides to fill in the blanks on her own; it takes less than a week of hearing snippets of “friend-fiction” before she breaks - nothing she says can possibly embarrass her more than what Isabela has already made up.
25. Quitting
Life as Champion of Kirkwall and apostate mage is far from easy but every time she worries that it is too much, that she can't do it he is there, offering strength and unwavering, unconditional support and she forgets why she was concerned in the first place.
39. Share
Eventually he comes to terms with her habit of lighting the fire with magic and she learns to live with the fact that his hatred of shoes means her (their) sheets are perpetually streaked with mud - after all, part of sharing your life with someone (part of loving someone) is learning to accept their... eccentricities.
30. Just
After he kisses her in front of the others for the first time, she sees Anders' eyes flare blue and she wonders idly if Justice approves of jealousy.
19. Balcony
She knows that her neighbors do not approve of their relationship so she makes a point of spending warm evenings curled up with him on her (their) balcony for all the world to see, because she loves this impossible elf and nothing they can say or do will change that.
21. Quiet
So much of their lives are spent running around, flighting and killing and bleeding, but it is the quiet moments she likes the most, evenings when she can sit with him in front of the fire and talk or read or just relax, a moment of calm in the storm sweeping through the city.
29. Jewel
She laughs when she unwraps her birthday present from Varric - a pair of earrings, their gems a familiar shade of emerald.
6. Whimsy
Every once in a while she can almost convince herself that they might find their happy ending after all.
7. Waste/Wasteland
She is frozen, staring at the carnage Anders has wreaked, at the chaos of her city, and even his presence beside her does not make this any easier.
17. Belief
When she sides with the mages she is certain he will leave rather than protect those he so loathes, but she cannot do otherwise (not when the only alternative is a power-mad woman and genocide).
4. Wonder
And yet against all odds, he stays.
14. Burning
Kirkwall is on fire and the entire world has gone mad but despite everything he is still at her side and that alone makes her think that maybe they can win this after all.
43. Nuance
He first tells her he loves her as they wait for the templars to arrive, the city burning around them, and as much as she enjoys hearing it she wishes he had waited just a little longer - now it sounds too much like “good-bye”.
12. Blessing
When Carver takes him aside after they flee Kirkwall to give his own version of the “break her heart and I'll break your face” speech she can't decide if she is annoyed at the presumption or pleased by the acceptance it implies.
46. Horizon
It is not what she had expected, but standing on the deck of Isabela's ship with Fenris's arms around her waist, Marian Hawke cannot bring herself to regret anything at all.