no sex! lets see how that works out, hopefully things will change for the better

im confused.
i feel unstable again.

i should stop drinking and smoking. its messing with me.

im so sad

i am tired.

my life has become a boring rerun of interning, work, and fucking things up. or should i say getting fucked up. i don't even know anymore.

anyway, im about to get put on anti-psychotic medication. its like a mood stabilizer. i hope it works. cuz if it doesnt, then there goes 825 dollars down the drain (my new shrink is mad expensive)

up and down, up and down.
life is all about the highs and the lows. all i gotta do is learn how to control my reaction to these changes.

i'm seeing a new psychiatrist on thursday, hopefully all goes well. wish me luck!

fuck.

i am happy.

the future is a blank sheet, waiting for color.

i'm working & taking calculus in the fall.
then going somewhere. somewhere... that i don't know yet.

i have a job. that's a start.

im so emotionally fucked up.