Fic: The Doctor and His Time Ladies (Chapter 6)
Title: The Doctor and His Time Ladies
Author: country_who
Rating: PG
Word Count (This chapter): 7027
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Tenth Doctor, Human Doctor, Rose, Jenny, Jack
Summary: AU Journey's End. Rose gets trapped in the TARDIS instead of Donna and now holds the mind of a Time Lord protected by the Bad Wolf, but what happens when the human Doctor dies, and the Time Lord tries to take her to a planet to get her mind off of him, and fulfill a promise? Does the Doctor have more to lose than gain?
Author's Note: Thanks to othermewriter who solidified the main ideas swimming in the soup I call my brain.
Author's Note 2: I'm really sorry for the extremely late update on this story, and I'm sorry to say that it will probably be a bit longer until the next with the end of the year looming ahead and all the tests that come with that, including the dreaded AP Test for World History, 3 essays with 50 minutes, 40 minutes and 40 minutes, and 70 questions in 55 minutes, so I've been hitting the books rather hard lately.
Prologue| Chapter 1| Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5
Rose was walking back over to the hospital again. She had changed her torn t-shirt, but had been in favor of keeping her own jeans and not switching into the khaki ones that Nala had brought over. Her arms were filled with a complete change of clothes for Jenny and the Doctor, who Nala had said could probably leave the hospital considering both their medical knowledge.
Mr. Anderson was safely resting on her shoulder; Rose having made her plea to Atali, that it would only be a minute for her to give Jenny and the Doctor their clothes. In truth, she probably could have waited to give them the articles, but the little Chubchuck seemed so forlorn without Jenny. She could tell that he was missing Jenny even though they had only been apart for about an hour.
The fact that he hadn’t been allowed to enter the hospital was hurting him more than he had let on to Jenny. Rose had to admit that she had a high respect for the little fellow; he seemed more devoted to Jenny than one could expect. Rose didn’t think that sort of thing could happen until their lives depended on one another, but maybe they did.
She looked at the furry red creature and stroked the top of his head, while he made noises of contentment. She smiled at him as he scooted onto her hands and sat there.
“Jenny with dad?” Anderson asked, his big eyes growing even wider with curiosity.
“Yes,” Rose told him, when they reached the doors, and she paused outside. “They’ve been in there for about an hour now, and the doctors are going to let the Doctor out now, so they should be fine with us coming in.”
“Oh,” Anderson stated, as Rose opened the door and walked inside.
The Doctor was sitting up with Jenny leaning on the corner of the bed next to him, while Atali was kneeling down and finishing tying off a fresh set of bandages on his leg. She ran her hands down her pants as she stood up and smiled at the Doctor. He returned it as he flexed his leg testing its range of motion.
“Good news, Doctor, the infection has completely gone away. We did have to remove a large chunk of your skin and had to do some minor work on your muscles, but I think you’ll be fine to rest somewhere a bit less crowded, if that’s okay with you.”
“Certainly,” the Doctor replied cheerfully, glancing over and seeing Rose. He beckoned her over with a small wave of his hand. She dropped the clothes to the beds and began to close the distance between the two of them.
A feeling of yearning came over Rose, and she gathered the Time Lord into her arms. His hands cupped the back of her head and drew her closely to him. He breathed softly into her, as Mr. Anderson squeezed out from between them gasping and ran into Jenny’s proffered hands. The two smiled at each other as Jenny backed away slightly and watched her father hold Rose.
She didn’t know much about either of them really, but she decided then and there they were meant to be together. The way he held her, and the way she looked out for him, there was no way they could not be in love. They were just right.
“Sorry, I didn’t hug you like this when I first woke up,” the Doctor said softly, only half teasing as he drew away and stared at Rose.
“S’fine,” Rose told him, and beamed at Jenny over her shoulder. “You had a lot on your mind.”
A chuckle came to life from deep inside his chest as he watched Jenny gather her clothes to give Rose a chance to be alone with him.
“Are you feeling better?” Rose asked, putting her hand on his cheek and acting like she was checking for a fever instead of just longing to feel him beneath her fingers.
“Much,” the Doctor replied, withdrawing her hand from his cheek and holding it in his hand as he got to his feet, wincing slightly as he put weight on his injured leg. “And, look at you, Rose Tyler, left to your own devices not only did you not wander off, but you found my daughter.”
Rose laughed. “Learned from the best,” she told him, nudging him in the ribs, before giving him his own clothes to change into. “Here, Jenny and I are in the VIP tent with you, I’m assuming you can find it right?”
The Doctor nodded and looked down at the clothes in his hands. He hadn’t worn any form of uniform since he was on Gallifrey. He didn’t know how he was supposed to take it.
“Yeah,” the Doctor said distractedly, while Rose hugged him a final time.
“Stay out of trouble,” she said, giving him a hard stare as he just laughed.
xXx
Rose was sitting on her cot, while Jenny sat on the other in the tent. They had not tackled the fact that there were only two, yet in favor of waiting for the Doctor to make the decision. Jenny had taken easily to the uniform and had slipped it on naturally. Rose couldn’t help seeing how right Jenny seemed in the uniform. She was reigned in more with it on, but she still managed to have a buoyant quality about her.
Jenny was tapping her foot on the ground after she had repeatedly tied and retied her pony tail at the back of her hair, while Mr. Anderson slept soundlessly in a backpack Jenny had found in the almost empty footlocker.
“Dad said that you knew Jack,” Jenny told her after a while.
“Yeah,” Rose said with a smile. “He saved my life.”
A fond expression passed over Jenny’s face and she scooted over to sit next to Rose. Her blue eyes were filled with wonder as she stared at Rose pleadingly.
“Really, how?” Jenny asked.
Rose ran her hand through her hair and chuckled, thinking back to that night. It couldn’t be said that they met under any kind of normal circumstances, but with the Doctor there were no normal meetings any more. It seemed like all the Doctor had to do was introduce himself and they were in trouble. Rose had brought the point up before when he still wore a leather jacket and had jokingly told him he should stop introducing himself as the Doctor.
That had been right before they met Jack, and Rose has taken it upon herself to introduce him before he could get the chance. Rose smiled; they had also spent the night watching the Doctor’s prized collection of Star Trek videos. It really couldn’t have gone any other way.
There were so many fond memories that she had tried to push away when she and the Doctor were no longer together. She was afraid a hurricane of emotions might overwhelm her and throw her into a pit of despair she could never escape. She missed the sensation of nostalgia that fluttered in her stomach like butterflies. In its place until this time had only been the dull ache of melancholy.
“The Doctor and I were in the middle of London during the Blitz, a major series of air-raids on London by the Germans, and I got separated from him…”
“Separated?” the Doctor suddenly appeared in the doorway of the tent favoring his better leg. “You, Rose Tyler wandered off, and reached new levels of jeopardy friendly. I still don’t understand how you managed to grab a rope that just so happened to be attached to a barrage balloon. None of my other companions have ever managed that, and I highly doubt they would have tried.”
He came in and sat down next to Rose, who punched him in the ribs before leaning on his fondly. He caught her around the middle as well and pulled her into a crushing hug, while Jenny watched admiringly. The word ‘rude,’ was murmured like a sigh, but Jenny couldn’t tell if it was Rose or the Doctor who murmured the word. Even so, she knew it was more than a word between the two of them; it was a prayer and a promise, a promise to never change and to never slip between the cracks.
The Doctor took a deep breath before releasing her and letting her continue with her story.
“So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by a certain Time Lord,” Rose teased as she looked over to Jenny. “So, I was hanging by my hands in the middle of the Blitz, and I start to fall when all of a sudden this man catches me in his tractor-beam and I was safe. Granted, he did hold me there until I turned off my mobile, which was just a hair more terrifying than hanging onto a massive balloon.”
Jenny giggled. “But, you weren’t falling.”
“Yeah, but what do you think blends in more?” Rose asked, flashing a smile. “A barrage balloon or a great big beam of blue light?”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “I think a blue box blends in nicely which is where I should I have locked you up forever.”
Rose ignored him and continued. “Anyway, he took me into his ship, a proper space ship with a cloaking device and everything and thruster engines.”
The Doctor rolled his eyes and folded his arms against his chest and cut Rose off from her rambling.
“There was an underlying story to that with gas-mask zombies and nanogenes as well if you wanna hear that some time,” the Doctor interjected.
Jenny nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, but not now though. Rose told me you would tell me what happened between the two of you, like how you met and all.”
Rose agreed with a grin, and reached across and grabbed the Doctor’s hand in hers, softly stroking his skin. He squeezed hers in return, but when she looked into his eyes there was a clear look of apprehension on his face. Her grip around his hand tightened slightly, while she drew circles into his manly, hairy hands.
Jenny watched with anticipation, but the look of slight terror on her father’s face almost made her regret ever asking. He looked so drained while he mulled over how to best approach the question and explain everything to her. Rose on the other hand seemed to be ready to talk and she immediately took the Doctor’s hand into her lap, and looked at him for the briefest of seconds. A million words could have passed between their gazes, but none of them needed to be said, except, maybe three.
“Where do you want us to start?” Rose asked Jenny.
“The beginning, please, first moments, first words, and first feelings, everything,” Jenny listed hiding her nervous emotions to a science. Her blue eyes sparkled as they lit up the and her smile turned higher up.
The Doctor broke out of his somber mood and beamed at her; he saw himself in her eyes and every other inch of her. The fear that he had had about her being too much like him almost dissipated completely when he saw her now. She was happy, like he wanted to be. Donna had said that she would help him to heal; he knew now that she was right.
“I was investigating this living plastic thing, it complicated it’s just sort of living and…” the Doctor trailed off, when Rose jumped in.
“Plastic. They were in the department store I worked at, as shop window dummies. I went down to the basement to give my boss, Wilson, the lottery money when they came after me, cornered me and were about to karate chop me or something,” Rose said looking over at the Doctor who was rubbing his thumb over the skin of her hand. “I think you should tell the next part, Doctor.”
He grinned and took his hand from her lap, and twisted it around so that he was holding her hand between them. He loved this part. He used to lie in his bed, not sleeping while Rose dozed in hers and drift back to those moments. Her soft hand and her long blonde hair falling back over her shoulders, and the look of trust that came over her immediately had been locked in his memory forever.
During the year that never was, he dreamed of her just like that, only instead of him grabbing her hand she was taking his. Her hand was wrapped around his wrinkled hand and smile. The word they shared was whispered and she made him young again with a kiss, awakening something deeper within him. A spark that he never thought existed, but he always awoke without a single trace of that sensation.
He relaxed fractionally, and swung their hands between them slightly.
“I took her hand,” the Doctor whispered softly, squeezing her hand and continuing. “Looked in her eyes and said just one word, ‘Run’.”
“And, we’ve been running ever since,” Rose said, looking at him. “Sometimes side by side, and other times...” Rose wiped a stray tear from her eyes. “Toward each other.”
Jenny looked softly at them, seeing that they were no longer telling her what they had done, but were confiding in each other.
“Donna said you were always running,” she said softly, not wanting to interrupt their moment, but not wanting to be left hanging either.
The Doctor nodded, turning his attention back to Jenny as he ran his hands through his hair.
“I was, yeah, but in a different way,” the Doctor stated, looking at Rose and wondering if he should tell Jenny this with Rose still within earshot. “When I was with Rose, I was running with her. My hand laced with hers with both of us smiling. Sure, sometimes we ended up running for our lives, but there were others where we were just fine and we still ran. We looked like idiots of course, but that never mattered.”
“Running down streets filled with people and fields of green with not a soul around but the two of us,” Rose murmured.
He looked at Rose, who was still leaning on his shoulder and looking down at their hands. Her blonde hair fell around her face like a curtain and hiding the emotions that were probably clear on her face. Still, he knew she was feeling the exact same thing he was. Fear, curiosity, melancholy, and confusion, all of them were running over her hidden face and bubbling in his stomach. He could feel them running from her hand and into his.
“After I lost her… I gave up,” the Doctor told her, honestly. “I was better because of Donna by the time you came along, but I was still so broken. I couldn’t think straight half the time and I was daring. I wasn’t out to get killed or anything, but part of me stopped caring. I wanted to run forever until I met Rose’s arms again, but I couldn’t. It didn’t fit the rules I had made.”
His rules, that was something familiar. He had said that right before he decided that there was nothing worth believing in besides Rose. He still believed in her, and nothing else.
He believed that he was there for him.
He believed that he as hers.
He believed she was one of the strongest women he had ever met.
He believed she was perfect.
He believed he would lose her.
He didn’t believe in himself to keep it from happening.
He had had that wild idea that he was going to send her away with his brother, so that they could live together. He could have told her that the two of them could live the life he never could have, and that they could have a family. They could have been domestic. John had even acted like that was something he had seriously considered, but that dream had come crashing down when his single heart did.
The Doctor felt most of John’s feelings. He had the same yearnings for Rose to be his, for them to be something more than just friends, but John was part Rose. He was more open, able to admit to his feelings. He was born fresh without the brokenness that the Doctor possessed. Rose put it right when she said that a second chance would be nice.
Even so, the Doctor knew that if he told them that it was so that Rose could have a normal life. He wanted to believe there wasn’t someone’s life that he hadn’t utterly ruined. He wanted to believe that he had made her better like she had made him.
Sorrow filled Jenny’s eyes, as she reached over and touched her father’s knee comfortingly. “I’m sorry.”
She could tell that she hurt him, as he eyes ghosted over, and grew darker by the minute. She needed to pull him out of it, but she couldn’t fathom how. How could she help with something she was only just beginning to understand?
“S’fine, Jenny,” Rose told her assailing her worries. She was already moving to the Doctor and wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back, while he pulled away and wiped his hands over his face furiously and acted as if nothing at happened. “Doctor?”
He looked at her, not showing any emotions at all now, just staring. “Hmm?”
“Are you alright?” Rose asked, placing her hand on his shoulder but he drew away.
“Yeah, fine, just tired,” the Doctor stated as he scooted over and stretched his legs over the cot, while Rose got to her feet and nodded.
“Alright then,” Rose told him. “I’m just gonna take a walk, before bed, and…” Rose trailed off and started walking towards the door.
“Rose,” Jenny stopped her, and took a hold of her shoulder.
Rose put on a smile that she hoped didn’t look too tight and looked up at her.
“Yeah?”
“You want me to come with you?” Jenny asked, silently offering her companionship.
“No, that’s fine, Jenny. Stay here with your father,” Rose told her, while she ran her hands over her face. “Be back in a minute, Doctor.”
The Doctor nodded silently and stared into space, only seeing the past.
Rose moved her hand up and down in a small wave; as she walked out and headed in a random direction within the camp. Jenny watched her go, wanting more than anything than to comfort her. Her father had been hurt yes, but he had in turn hurt Rose. Was he just too shy to love Rose? Jack hadn’t been shy with her, but she had been apprehensive with him. Maybe she had inherited that from her father. That coupled with losing her under circumstances still foreign to her might have made him completely broken.
“Dad,” Jenny started. “I think you need to talk to Rose.”
“Maybe later,” the Doctor stated in a noncommittal voice. He wiped at his eyes again, this time it was obvious that it was tears that he was trying to hide.
“She needs you,” Jenny told him.
“She’s fine.”
“She’s hurt,” Jenny corrected. “Even I can see that. You were holding her hand, and she was leaning on you. Why did you push her away?”
With a shrug, the Doctor tried to turn away, but he once again felt the now-familiar burning sensation behind his eyes and rubbed at it furiously with his hands.
“I don’t know,” the Doctor lied, looking away from her. She knew him too well, just like Rose did.
“It hurts doesn’t it? Knowing the life you could lead together is never going to happen? It hurts knowing that something terrible is going to end it all, and that you’ll never see each other again. Or knowing that you can hold her forever?”
The Doctor looked up at her sharply, a question forming on his lips.
“You have to admit it, Dad,” Jenny told him. “It makes it easier in the end, trust me.”
The Time Lord’s eyes narrowed and he ran his hands balled at his sides. Fury swept over him as he tried futilely to keep his tumultuous emotions in check. His brown eyes burned with rage as he stared at his own daughter.
What could she possibly be suggesting? That she had suffered too? That she knew even a fraction of the pain that he had felt? Maybe he was right, Time Lords were so much more. They had their shared suffering. They had their pain. Jenny knew nothing of that. She led her happy-go-lucky like, and moved on a whim.
“How can you of all people know, Jenny?” the Doctor seethed. “You’ve lived all of two years. You haven’t seen anything. You know nothing of pain.”
The Doctor’s eyes turned almost black as he said the words. Part of him knew that he would regret them later, but a bigger part didn’t care. He’s hearts screamed as they exerted themselves in rage and his breathing intensified as if he had begun to run a mile.
No longer was he looking into the eyes of his daughter. He was seeing the face of every human on Earth and every other pathetic planet in the galaxy. The ones that had their simple lives, tragedy marked only by the illness or death of a few loved ones. They didn’t know anything about this either, yet he saved them. Why did he bother? Why did he try to make the entire Universe better when all he ended up doing was hurt his own life? He deserved someone’s help. He deserved their lives.
His fists balled tighter at his sides as he rose to his feet. He could feel his knuckles turning white and the flesh of his palms being cut into by his nails. He welcomed the pain the damage was bringing him. It invigorated him. Something tangible was causing this ache it wasn’t something false and in his previously logical brain had contracted from his effeminate heart.
Jenny stayed calm when she answered him. “I watched my own father crying when he thought I was dying, and woke up to find I was alone. I travelled looking for him, and tried to dig up all the information on a society most people think are a legend or dangerous. Then on top of that I met someone I know I loved, and who loved me back in a stupid library’s virtual reality world and ended up losing him and… and everything, and then I spent the rest of my time trying to find him and my father, all while wondering until today if I had made him up, just like… like…”
The Doctor watched Jenny’s frantic speaking; his anger immediately evaporated through every pour in his body and left the room. Sobs came over her and suddenly his own thoughts had left him, and his attention was pointed in the direction of his daughter, who was beginning to shake like a leaf.
The Doctor stopped her, by trailing a hand down her arm and pulling her into a fatherly hug, the kind where a daughter thought that she could curl up infinitely small while her father folded on top of her protection her from all the evils in the world. Jenny fell into it, holding tightly to his shirt like the child she had never gotten the chance to be.
“I’m sorry, Jenny, I’m so so sorry,” the Doctor told her honestly. “Who else did you lose?”
Jenny looked away, not wanting to pour salt on a wound, but she also knew that salt made the bleeding stop faster. It was for the better, she told herself and she took a deep breath.
“Our kids, that weren’t are kids,” Jenny stated, looking up to see her father’s shocked expression that looked like a cross between fury and pain for her.
“What do you mean,” the Doctor said, through slightly clenched teeth.
Jenny saw her father’s sorrow become misdirected as anger towards Jack, and she couldn’t let that happen. She loved them both, and she needed her father to have any hope of getting back to him after all this time. Forcing herself to smile, she moved closer to her father marginally and looked imploringly at him.
“It’s not like that. The way time progressed in there, it seemed like we had been married for years, but I don’t know how much time we actually spent locked away in there. Anyway, I remember everything from that time, me and Jack meeting at this hospital, and dating for a while. He was such a character, coming on to everyone we passed at first. I slapped him a couple times, but then he just stopped. He was there for me and I was there for him.”
Jenny smiled and toed her boot on the ground, as her face flushed and she looked up at her father, still looking at her doubtfully.
“I remember everything we did, Dad,” Jenny told him. “Everything. Him holding my hand and holding me, whenever something bad happened. When I told him he was going to be a father he swooped me into his arms and held me so tight.”
The Doctor’s gaze softened, as he listened intently to what Jenny was saying. Part of it was to listen to what his daughter had been up to, but a bigger half of him wanted to distract her from further questioning him.
xXx
Jenny sat next to Jack, with her head leaning on his side. Her eyes were half lowered while she stared up at Jack drowsily. He was softly stroking the back of her long blond hair unfastened and flowing behind her. All the while, she listened to the rhythm of his single heart and her duel hearts beating as one, the song of their love, a song more real than anyone could take away.
“Jack?” Jenny asked softly, opening her eyes wider and looking down at her protruding abdomen
“Hmm?” Jack murmured, not really focusing on her words, just her.
“Are you scared?” Jenny asked quietly, not looking in his eyes, but instead straight ahead. Something wasn’t right about this. It was going too fast, making her time sense off. She told Jack, and he was convinced it was the pregnancy, but in truth the gnawing at her gut had been around since she had first come into this world.
“Terrified,” Jack said sincerely with a laugh. “But, excited, and you should be too.”
“Something’s not right, Jack,” Jenny murmured, turning and facing him. “Time isn’t right, it’s all mixed up and knotted. It’s progressing too fast. I know you said it was just me, but it’s not. It’s… I don’t know.”
Jack held her closer, and flashed a winning smile.
“You worry, just like your father. We’re fine.” Jack placed a gentle hand on her stomach. “Everyone’s fine, Jen.”
Jenny ignored him and continued on. “I really wish Dad were here. He’d know. He’d understand.”
Jack took a deep breath and pulled the covers over her. The worry was clear on Jack’s face, but he hid it well after he turned off the light and wrapped his arms around her. The fluttering feeling in her stomach ceased and was replaced by the much less unnerving sensation of their children moving beneath. He kissed her forehead and gently coaxed her into a sleepy state.
“One day at a time, alright?” Jack asked, and she nodded against him. “We’ll be fine, just fine.”
xXx
Jenny had moved, so that her chin rested on her knees which were drawn up to her chest. She was staring off into space, wishing more than anything for reasons she had yet to find out, that Rose were here as well. She would understand; Jenny knew she would.
“There were times, when I thought I would be pushed forward into the future, sometimes a few seconds, other times I would have to remember months at a time. I need Jack’s help sometimes and other times he needed mine,” Jenny explained further. “The important moments were all there, our wedding, the twin’s birth, late nights when Jack came home with flowers, or anniversaries. But, those other days that you take for granted seemed to fall away. Like those lazy Saturdays or Wednesdays that you always think of as average. They just weren’t there sometimes.”
The Doctor nodded. “I was there. I fixed the data call, made it better. You must have been there with all the other people saved.”
Jenny nodded. “Jack said it was something like that once we had finally worked it all out.”
“When was that?”
xXx
The breeze blew steadily down the path, as each Jenny and Jack carried a child down the path to the park. The young girl, Rose Marion Harkness, was holding tightly to her father. He had never told Jenny why he was so insistent on why he had wanted to name their daughter that, other than it had been the name of an old friend. Jenny knew Jack’s secret and that he had thousands of years of dark memories to contend with, and she wasn’t going to open that can of worms until he was ready. On the other hand, Jenny’s arms were wrapped around and supporting the boy, Jack Doc Harkness, who was clinging to his mother fondly.
Jack had once teased Jenny that their children must have take after her in their looks because the Doctor’s DNA in her would never allow them to resemble the captain. In truth, however their children didn’t really share any of their appearances.
Jack had shrugged it off, but with Jenny’s time sense feeling even more out of tune lately, he couldn’t help but wonder if it meant something. Their eyes were blue yes, but not a cool blue like Jack’s or Jenny’s bright blue. They were muddled like they had been mixed with grey and green. Their fragile, featherlike hair grew in a dark brown color that was hued with red that neither Jack not Jenny could place.
“Daddy?” Rose asked softly. “What are we gonna do at the park?”
Jack beamed at her, pushing his thoughts to the side and bouncing her in the air. “Whatever you want, Rosie, slides are fun though, and swings of course, can’t forget them. Or the teeter-totter, that just sounds fun, doesn’t it?”
Rose smiled wide, toothy grin that made Jake think of her namesake. After one more moment staring at his daughter he turned his attention to his son, and looked over at little Jack who beginning to wriggle from Jenny’s arms and land lightly on his feet. He ran up to Jack and tugged his free arm over to the playground, while Jenny’s laughter could be heard behind them.
Once they had gotten the children set off on their ways, Jenny had settled into a bench next to him, while they watched their children tag a long together while the other children played as well. She stared blankly into the horizon, wondering how why the library’s teleport had landed them here. She was stranded from her ship, and Jack’s time vortex manipulator seemed to be beyond even her ability to repair.
She longed to go back to the stars to show them to her kids. They had a history that she was only just learning and adding on to. Her children had to become a bigger part of that. They were amazing in themselves. The children of a progentated Time Lady and an Impossible Man, the worlds should have been running through their minds with endless wonder had they been able to reach all that. Yet, they seemed so average, not inquisitive like she had been when she had stepped out of the machine or how she imagined Jack must have been if he had travelled with her father. The right questions had to have been asked, Donna taught her that.
“What are you thinking?” Jack asked, breaking her out of her thoughts, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her closely. His fingers curiously felt the side of her ribs through her shirt.
“Nothing,” Jenny said staring off and looking at their children again. They really were precious and she wouldn’t change them for anything, but there was still something peculiar about it.
Jack didn’t take her simple answer and pressed further, turning so he was facing her completely. “The daughter of the Oncoming Storm has nothing on her mind? I beg to differ. I know her a bit better.”
“Oh really?” Jenny taunted.
“Yes, really,” Jack said moving in to tickle her ribs, but she swatted his hands away. His eyes softened when he saw her true emotions running across her face. He placed a hand on either side of his face and kissed her softly. She didn’t respond, but she didn’t push away either. “Tell me. Please, Jenny?”
His disarming smile and bright blue eyes wouldn’t allow her not to answer him. She trusted him too much to let him think she didn’t. They were his kids too, and he deserved to know what she thought, but something told her he already knew. She had seen him standing outside their bedroom, staring at them. A smile would be on his face, but tears in his eyes. It took her a lot of coaxing just to get him to move from the spot and into bed.
“The kids,” Jenny said vaguely. “I’m worried about them.”
Jack frowned glancing over to them and seeing the way they played excitedly. They couldn’t be sick could they? Jenny would tell him, surely.
“What about them?” Jack was clearly worried as he took his wife’s hand in his and stared at the creations they made from their love.
Jenny shrugged. “They’re fine, it’s just. They’re so normal.”
Jack smiled and laughed, brushing a lock of blonde hair from her eyes. “I know what you mean, never expected them to look and act just like any other kid.”
Jenny stared at him for a second, seeing the sorrow forming in his eyes as he realized something and she did as well. They didn’t just act the same as other kids. They were the same; all the children were the same.
Jenny knew that she was seeing something that should have been forbidden. She was seeing something that should awaken her to what she should be trying to do, but instead she screamed and gathered the kids she knew were hers into both her arms and started running home, finding her there in a flash, with Jack taking little Jack from her loaded arms, so she could shift the weight of Rose into both her arms.
The pain on Jack’s face was evident, but he put on a smile for their children-for however long they would last-and led them over to the couch. Jack held his daughter tightly, not letting go, willing her into existence, while Jenny did the same with their son. She couldn’t let them go. He couldn’t let them go. They would hold them both for forever if that’s what it took.
“Jen,” Jack said, forcing a lilt into his voice as he pulled little Jack into his lap with Rose. “I think some hot chocolate would be nice for them, right about now. What do you think?”
Jenny gave a watery grin and nodded. “Of course,” she said, pressing a kiss in both of her children’s foreheads before hugging her husband around the neck.
He whispered tenderly in her ear. “They’re real, Jenny. Trust me, as real as you and me. As long as we believe, understand? No doubt. You were there. I was there when they were born.”
A pitiful laugh came from her mouth. “I broke your hand.”
Jack gave her a silly smile, before shooing her off and gripping his children soothingly. His strong arms turning even tenderer than Jenny thought possible as she took a final glance at them before stepping thought the door to the kitchen.
When Jenny came back, she dropped the cups of hot chocolate causing them to shattering on the ground. She ran and gathered Jack in her arms, while he stared blankly at the empty space between them.
“They’re gone,” Jack whispered. His hands opened and closed without meeting anything. He bit his lip and held Jenny, while she broke into sobs. “They’re gone.”
He didn’t cry, that was the part that scared Jenny the most. He wanted to see his emotions, to help him heal, so that she could heal as well.
“Jack,” Jenny tried, gently lifting his chin and forcing him to meet her eyes. She tried to wipe away her tears, but they kept flowing.
“They’re gone, Jen, just gone, after all that… just gone,” Jack whispered in a too calm voice.
“I know,” Jenny told him, a broken sob surfacing from her chest.
“Yeah,” Jack said.
“Now what?” Jenny asked, lost, looking around her and trying to think of something. They couldn’t stay broken forever, they had to heal, and they had to move on. They had to get better.
“We… we move on,” Jack said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand for her. “We stay strong, for them. Whether they were real or not we were still their parents. We remember.”
Jenny nodded, and leaned against him. Her face buried in her chest. She would remember, she would never forget. She would remember little Jack and Rose. She would remember every scraped knee, late night feeding or funny quirk.
“We remember,” Jenny repeated.
Jack nodded. “Forever.”
xXx
Rose walked with her hands shoved deep in her pockets. Some flickering
lights glowed around the camp, but for the most part it seemed completely empty. The feeling of loneliness began to eat away at her stomach as she pressed on, not looking back to the tent that the Doctor and Jenny were it. She tried to ignore that the lights had not turned off and the last thing the Time Lord was doing was sleeping.
Why did he keep pushing her away? If anyone wanted to help him work through his pain it was her. She had been the cause of a good piece of it for as long as the Doctor had been separated from her.
He had called her every term of endearment that she could think of, brilliant, fantastic, molto-bene, but never the one word that she wanted to hear above them all. His. She had never wanted to be anyone’s girl before, never, until she then one daft alien that swept her off her feet.
He was everything to her.
But, she wasn’t everything to him.
She loved him.
He wouldn’t even reply.
He was hers.
He wouldn’t take her.
Rose rubbed her eyes furiously and squeezed hot tears through her lashes, forcing negative thoughts out of her mind.
“He likes me,” Rose whispered. “He needs me, and I need him.”
He was broken, and she would fix him. He had lost his brother, found his daughter and had just come out of a plot to cause complete eradication of every living species in the universe besides his most loathed enemy.
She ran her hands through her hair and thought about turning back around to see if the Doctor was ready to talk, but a sound suddenly came to her attention.
She stopped stock still before she picked up her pace again, faster than before. Something wasn’t right. There was a soft rustling that picked up every time she started walking, but whenever she stopped so did it.
She reached into her pocket and found a pack of the Doctor’s Promethean Everlasting matches. She had kept them in the pocket of her jeans back when they travelled together. It had seemed that every other trip they ended up living in a dank cave with no other source of light or heat.
She struck the match easily with the lemony smell filling her nostrils and illuminating her path as she walked to the edge of the forest.
Her heart pounded fearfully in her chest as reached her hand out tentatively. Inch by inch she reached up to a branch, while murmuring ‘I’m going back, I’m going back,’ over and over again. As she pulled back the branch, she drew a deep, sharp breath and squeezed her eyes shut, expecting to have something jump out at her.
Slowly, the lack of claws leaving gnashes in her flesh became evident, and Rose calmed herself down long enough to open her eyes. Seeing nothing but forest in front of her, she was about to turn around from the forest and tell the Doctor that she thought something wasn’t right. However, a soft whining noise filled her ears. It wasn’t the same rustle that had caught her eats before this one was desperate, and childlike. It sounded almost as if it was in pain.
Without thinking, Rose followed the noise. It didn’t take long to follow the shrill noise that was becoming more and more evident.
Eventually, she reached the area that the noise was permeating from. Slowly, she walked up to the bush and pulled them away. A small human child was curled up there, desperately crying out, as Rose scooped him into her arms. He was shrouded in a blue blanket and sitting in a basket almost as if he was waiting for her to pick him up.
Gently, Rose rubbed his back and held him closely, soothing his cries to a soft whimper.
“Hey, now,” Rose whispered. “You’re alright, aren’t you?” The little boy stared owlishly at her, while she offered him a laugh. “Come on then, I bet you’re hungry right?”
As confirmation, the little boy wrapped his hand around Rose’s shirt and pulled on it sharply.
She smiled at the little bundle, but froze dead in her tracks as the sound of a gun cocked, and something cool and metallic pressed into the back of her head.
Author: country_who
Rating: PG
Word Count (This chapter): 7027
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Tenth Doctor, Human Doctor, Rose, Jenny, Jack
Summary: AU Journey's End. Rose gets trapped in the TARDIS instead of Donna and now holds the mind of a Time Lord protected by the Bad Wolf, but what happens when the human Doctor dies, and the Time Lord tries to take her to a planet to get her mind off of him, and fulfill a promise? Does the Doctor have more to lose than gain?
Author's Note: Thanks to othermewriter who solidified the main ideas swimming in the soup I call my brain.
Author's Note 2: I'm really sorry for the extremely late update on this story, and I'm sorry to say that it will probably be a bit longer until the next with the end of the year looming ahead and all the tests that come with that, including the dreaded AP Test for World History, 3 essays with 50 minutes, 40 minutes and 40 minutes, and 70 questions in 55 minutes, so I've been hitting the books rather hard lately.
Prologue| Chapter 1| Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5
Rose was walking back over to the hospital again. She had changed her torn t-shirt, but had been in favor of keeping her own jeans and not switching into the khaki ones that Nala had brought over. Her arms were filled with a complete change of clothes for Jenny and the Doctor, who Nala had said could probably leave the hospital considering both their medical knowledge.
Mr. Anderson was safely resting on her shoulder; Rose having made her plea to Atali, that it would only be a minute for her to give Jenny and the Doctor their clothes. In truth, she probably could have waited to give them the articles, but the little Chubchuck seemed so forlorn without Jenny. She could tell that he was missing Jenny even though they had only been apart for about an hour.
The fact that he hadn’t been allowed to enter the hospital was hurting him more than he had let on to Jenny. Rose had to admit that she had a high respect for the little fellow; he seemed more devoted to Jenny than one could expect. Rose didn’t think that sort of thing could happen until their lives depended on one another, but maybe they did.
She looked at the furry red creature and stroked the top of his head, while he made noises of contentment. She smiled at him as he scooted onto her hands and sat there.
“Jenny with dad?” Anderson asked, his big eyes growing even wider with curiosity.
“Yes,” Rose told him, when they reached the doors, and she paused outside. “They’ve been in there for about an hour now, and the doctors are going to let the Doctor out now, so they should be fine with us coming in.”
“Oh,” Anderson stated, as Rose opened the door and walked inside.
The Doctor was sitting up with Jenny leaning on the corner of the bed next to him, while Atali was kneeling down and finishing tying off a fresh set of bandages on his leg. She ran her hands down her pants as she stood up and smiled at the Doctor. He returned it as he flexed his leg testing its range of motion.
“Good news, Doctor, the infection has completely gone away. We did have to remove a large chunk of your skin and had to do some minor work on your muscles, but I think you’ll be fine to rest somewhere a bit less crowded, if that’s okay with you.”
“Certainly,” the Doctor replied cheerfully, glancing over and seeing Rose. He beckoned her over with a small wave of his hand. She dropped the clothes to the beds and began to close the distance between the two of them.
A feeling of yearning came over Rose, and she gathered the Time Lord into her arms. His hands cupped the back of her head and drew her closely to him. He breathed softly into her, as Mr. Anderson squeezed out from between them gasping and ran into Jenny’s proffered hands. The two smiled at each other as Jenny backed away slightly and watched her father hold Rose.
She didn’t know much about either of them really, but she decided then and there they were meant to be together. The way he held her, and the way she looked out for him, there was no way they could not be in love. They were just right.
“Sorry, I didn’t hug you like this when I first woke up,” the Doctor said softly, only half teasing as he drew away and stared at Rose.
“S’fine,” Rose told him, and beamed at Jenny over her shoulder. “You had a lot on your mind.”
A chuckle came to life from deep inside his chest as he watched Jenny gather her clothes to give Rose a chance to be alone with him.
“Are you feeling better?” Rose asked, putting her hand on his cheek and acting like she was checking for a fever instead of just longing to feel him beneath her fingers.
“Much,” the Doctor replied, withdrawing her hand from his cheek and holding it in his hand as he got to his feet, wincing slightly as he put weight on his injured leg. “And, look at you, Rose Tyler, left to your own devices not only did you not wander off, but you found my daughter.”
Rose laughed. “Learned from the best,” she told him, nudging him in the ribs, before giving him his own clothes to change into. “Here, Jenny and I are in the VIP tent with you, I’m assuming you can find it right?”
The Doctor nodded and looked down at the clothes in his hands. He hadn’t worn any form of uniform since he was on Gallifrey. He didn’t know how he was supposed to take it.
“Yeah,” the Doctor said distractedly, while Rose hugged him a final time.
“Stay out of trouble,” she said, giving him a hard stare as he just laughed.
xXx
Rose was sitting on her cot, while Jenny sat on the other in the tent. They had not tackled the fact that there were only two, yet in favor of waiting for the Doctor to make the decision. Jenny had taken easily to the uniform and had slipped it on naturally. Rose couldn’t help seeing how right Jenny seemed in the uniform. She was reigned in more with it on, but she still managed to have a buoyant quality about her.
Jenny was tapping her foot on the ground after she had repeatedly tied and retied her pony tail at the back of her hair, while Mr. Anderson slept soundlessly in a backpack Jenny had found in the almost empty footlocker.
“Dad said that you knew Jack,” Jenny told her after a while.
“Yeah,” Rose said with a smile. “He saved my life.”
A fond expression passed over Jenny’s face and she scooted over to sit next to Rose. Her blue eyes were filled with wonder as she stared at Rose pleadingly.
“Really, how?” Jenny asked.
Rose ran her hand through her hair and chuckled, thinking back to that night. It couldn’t be said that they met under any kind of normal circumstances, but with the Doctor there were no normal meetings any more. It seemed like all the Doctor had to do was introduce himself and they were in trouble. Rose had brought the point up before when he still wore a leather jacket and had jokingly told him he should stop introducing himself as the Doctor.
That had been right before they met Jack, and Rose has taken it upon herself to introduce him before he could get the chance. Rose smiled; they had also spent the night watching the Doctor’s prized collection of Star Trek videos. It really couldn’t have gone any other way.
There were so many fond memories that she had tried to push away when she and the Doctor were no longer together. She was afraid a hurricane of emotions might overwhelm her and throw her into a pit of despair she could never escape. She missed the sensation of nostalgia that fluttered in her stomach like butterflies. In its place until this time had only been the dull ache of melancholy.
“The Doctor and I were in the middle of London during the Blitz, a major series of air-raids on London by the Germans, and I got separated from him…”
“Separated?” the Doctor suddenly appeared in the doorway of the tent favoring his better leg. “You, Rose Tyler wandered off, and reached new levels of jeopardy friendly. I still don’t understand how you managed to grab a rope that just so happened to be attached to a barrage balloon. None of my other companions have ever managed that, and I highly doubt they would have tried.”
He came in and sat down next to Rose, who punched him in the ribs before leaning on his fondly. He caught her around the middle as well and pulled her into a crushing hug, while Jenny watched admiringly. The word ‘rude,’ was murmured like a sigh, but Jenny couldn’t tell if it was Rose or the Doctor who murmured the word. Even so, she knew it was more than a word between the two of them; it was a prayer and a promise, a promise to never change and to never slip between the cracks.
The Doctor took a deep breath before releasing her and letting her continue with her story.
“So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by a certain Time Lord,” Rose teased as she looked over to Jenny. “So, I was hanging by my hands in the middle of the Blitz, and I start to fall when all of a sudden this man catches me in his tractor-beam and I was safe. Granted, he did hold me there until I turned off my mobile, which was just a hair more terrifying than hanging onto a massive balloon.”
Jenny giggled. “But, you weren’t falling.”
“Yeah, but what do you think blends in more?” Rose asked, flashing a smile. “A barrage balloon or a great big beam of blue light?”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “I think a blue box blends in nicely which is where I should I have locked you up forever.”
Rose ignored him and continued. “Anyway, he took me into his ship, a proper space ship with a cloaking device and everything and thruster engines.”
The Doctor rolled his eyes and folded his arms against his chest and cut Rose off from her rambling.
“There was an underlying story to that with gas-mask zombies and nanogenes as well if you wanna hear that some time,” the Doctor interjected.
Jenny nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, but not now though. Rose told me you would tell me what happened between the two of you, like how you met and all.”
Rose agreed with a grin, and reached across and grabbed the Doctor’s hand in hers, softly stroking his skin. He squeezed hers in return, but when she looked into his eyes there was a clear look of apprehension on his face. Her grip around his hand tightened slightly, while she drew circles into his manly, hairy hands.
Jenny watched with anticipation, but the look of slight terror on her father’s face almost made her regret ever asking. He looked so drained while he mulled over how to best approach the question and explain everything to her. Rose on the other hand seemed to be ready to talk and she immediately took the Doctor’s hand into her lap, and looked at him for the briefest of seconds. A million words could have passed between their gazes, but none of them needed to be said, except, maybe three.
“Where do you want us to start?” Rose asked Jenny.
“The beginning, please, first moments, first words, and first feelings, everything,” Jenny listed hiding her nervous emotions to a science. Her blue eyes sparkled as they lit up the and her smile turned higher up.
The Doctor broke out of his somber mood and beamed at her; he saw himself in her eyes and every other inch of her. The fear that he had had about her being too much like him almost dissipated completely when he saw her now. She was happy, like he wanted to be. Donna had said that she would help him to heal; he knew now that she was right.
“I was investigating this living plastic thing, it complicated it’s just sort of living and…” the Doctor trailed off, when Rose jumped in.
“Plastic. They were in the department store I worked at, as shop window dummies. I went down to the basement to give my boss, Wilson, the lottery money when they came after me, cornered me and were about to karate chop me or something,” Rose said looking over at the Doctor who was rubbing his thumb over the skin of her hand. “I think you should tell the next part, Doctor.”
He grinned and took his hand from her lap, and twisted it around so that he was holding her hand between them. He loved this part. He used to lie in his bed, not sleeping while Rose dozed in hers and drift back to those moments. Her soft hand and her long blonde hair falling back over her shoulders, and the look of trust that came over her immediately had been locked in his memory forever.
During the year that never was, he dreamed of her just like that, only instead of him grabbing her hand she was taking his. Her hand was wrapped around his wrinkled hand and smile. The word they shared was whispered and she made him young again with a kiss, awakening something deeper within him. A spark that he never thought existed, but he always awoke without a single trace of that sensation.
He relaxed fractionally, and swung their hands between them slightly.
“I took her hand,” the Doctor whispered softly, squeezing her hand and continuing. “Looked in her eyes and said just one word, ‘Run’.”
“And, we’ve been running ever since,” Rose said, looking at him. “Sometimes side by side, and other times...” Rose wiped a stray tear from her eyes. “Toward each other.”
Jenny looked softly at them, seeing that they were no longer telling her what they had done, but were confiding in each other.
“Donna said you were always running,” she said softly, not wanting to interrupt their moment, but not wanting to be left hanging either.
The Doctor nodded, turning his attention back to Jenny as he ran his hands through his hair.
“I was, yeah, but in a different way,” the Doctor stated, looking at Rose and wondering if he should tell Jenny this with Rose still within earshot. “When I was with Rose, I was running with her. My hand laced with hers with both of us smiling. Sure, sometimes we ended up running for our lives, but there were others where we were just fine and we still ran. We looked like idiots of course, but that never mattered.”
“Running down streets filled with people and fields of green with not a soul around but the two of us,” Rose murmured.
He looked at Rose, who was still leaning on his shoulder and looking down at their hands. Her blonde hair fell around her face like a curtain and hiding the emotions that were probably clear on her face. Still, he knew she was feeling the exact same thing he was. Fear, curiosity, melancholy, and confusion, all of them were running over her hidden face and bubbling in his stomach. He could feel them running from her hand and into his.
“After I lost her… I gave up,” the Doctor told her, honestly. “I was better because of Donna by the time you came along, but I was still so broken. I couldn’t think straight half the time and I was daring. I wasn’t out to get killed or anything, but part of me stopped caring. I wanted to run forever until I met Rose’s arms again, but I couldn’t. It didn’t fit the rules I had made.”
His rules, that was something familiar. He had said that right before he decided that there was nothing worth believing in besides Rose. He still believed in her, and nothing else.
He believed that he was there for him.
He believed that he as hers.
He believed she was one of the strongest women he had ever met.
He believed she was perfect.
He believed he would lose her.
He didn’t believe in himself to keep it from happening.
He had had that wild idea that he was going to send her away with his brother, so that they could live together. He could have told her that the two of them could live the life he never could have, and that they could have a family. They could have been domestic. John had even acted like that was something he had seriously considered, but that dream had come crashing down when his single heart did.
The Doctor felt most of John’s feelings. He had the same yearnings for Rose to be his, for them to be something more than just friends, but John was part Rose. He was more open, able to admit to his feelings. He was born fresh without the brokenness that the Doctor possessed. Rose put it right when she said that a second chance would be nice.
Even so, the Doctor knew that if he told them that it was so that Rose could have a normal life. He wanted to believe there wasn’t someone’s life that he hadn’t utterly ruined. He wanted to believe that he had made her better like she had made him.
Sorrow filled Jenny’s eyes, as she reached over and touched her father’s knee comfortingly. “I’m sorry.”
She could tell that she hurt him, as he eyes ghosted over, and grew darker by the minute. She needed to pull him out of it, but she couldn’t fathom how. How could she help with something she was only just beginning to understand?
“S’fine, Jenny,” Rose told her assailing her worries. She was already moving to the Doctor and wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back, while he pulled away and wiped his hands over his face furiously and acted as if nothing at happened. “Doctor?”
He looked at her, not showing any emotions at all now, just staring. “Hmm?”
“Are you alright?” Rose asked, placing her hand on his shoulder but he drew away.
“Yeah, fine, just tired,” the Doctor stated as he scooted over and stretched his legs over the cot, while Rose got to her feet and nodded.
“Alright then,” Rose told him. “I’m just gonna take a walk, before bed, and…” Rose trailed off and started walking towards the door.
“Rose,” Jenny stopped her, and took a hold of her shoulder.
Rose put on a smile that she hoped didn’t look too tight and looked up at her.
“Yeah?”
“You want me to come with you?” Jenny asked, silently offering her companionship.
“No, that’s fine, Jenny. Stay here with your father,” Rose told her, while she ran her hands over her face. “Be back in a minute, Doctor.”
The Doctor nodded silently and stared into space, only seeing the past.
Rose moved her hand up and down in a small wave; as she walked out and headed in a random direction within the camp. Jenny watched her go, wanting more than anything than to comfort her. Her father had been hurt yes, but he had in turn hurt Rose. Was he just too shy to love Rose? Jack hadn’t been shy with her, but she had been apprehensive with him. Maybe she had inherited that from her father. That coupled with losing her under circumstances still foreign to her might have made him completely broken.
“Dad,” Jenny started. “I think you need to talk to Rose.”
“Maybe later,” the Doctor stated in a noncommittal voice. He wiped at his eyes again, this time it was obvious that it was tears that he was trying to hide.
“She needs you,” Jenny told him.
“She’s fine.”
“She’s hurt,” Jenny corrected. “Even I can see that. You were holding her hand, and she was leaning on you. Why did you push her away?”
With a shrug, the Doctor tried to turn away, but he once again felt the now-familiar burning sensation behind his eyes and rubbed at it furiously with his hands.
“I don’t know,” the Doctor lied, looking away from her. She knew him too well, just like Rose did.
“It hurts doesn’t it? Knowing the life you could lead together is never going to happen? It hurts knowing that something terrible is going to end it all, and that you’ll never see each other again. Or knowing that you can hold her forever?”
The Doctor looked up at her sharply, a question forming on his lips.
“You have to admit it, Dad,” Jenny told him. “It makes it easier in the end, trust me.”
The Time Lord’s eyes narrowed and he ran his hands balled at his sides. Fury swept over him as he tried futilely to keep his tumultuous emotions in check. His brown eyes burned with rage as he stared at his own daughter.
What could she possibly be suggesting? That she had suffered too? That she knew even a fraction of the pain that he had felt? Maybe he was right, Time Lords were so much more. They had their shared suffering. They had their pain. Jenny knew nothing of that. She led her happy-go-lucky like, and moved on a whim.
“How can you of all people know, Jenny?” the Doctor seethed. “You’ve lived all of two years. You haven’t seen anything. You know nothing of pain.”
The Doctor’s eyes turned almost black as he said the words. Part of him knew that he would regret them later, but a bigger part didn’t care. He’s hearts screamed as they exerted themselves in rage and his breathing intensified as if he had begun to run a mile.
No longer was he looking into the eyes of his daughter. He was seeing the face of every human on Earth and every other pathetic planet in the galaxy. The ones that had their simple lives, tragedy marked only by the illness or death of a few loved ones. They didn’t know anything about this either, yet he saved them. Why did he bother? Why did he try to make the entire Universe better when all he ended up doing was hurt his own life? He deserved someone’s help. He deserved their lives.
His fists balled tighter at his sides as he rose to his feet. He could feel his knuckles turning white and the flesh of his palms being cut into by his nails. He welcomed the pain the damage was bringing him. It invigorated him. Something tangible was causing this ache it wasn’t something false and in his previously logical brain had contracted from his effeminate heart.
Jenny stayed calm when she answered him. “I watched my own father crying when he thought I was dying, and woke up to find I was alone. I travelled looking for him, and tried to dig up all the information on a society most people think are a legend or dangerous. Then on top of that I met someone I know I loved, and who loved me back in a stupid library’s virtual reality world and ended up losing him and… and everything, and then I spent the rest of my time trying to find him and my father, all while wondering until today if I had made him up, just like… like…”
The Doctor watched Jenny’s frantic speaking; his anger immediately evaporated through every pour in his body and left the room. Sobs came over her and suddenly his own thoughts had left him, and his attention was pointed in the direction of his daughter, who was beginning to shake like a leaf.
The Doctor stopped her, by trailing a hand down her arm and pulling her into a fatherly hug, the kind where a daughter thought that she could curl up infinitely small while her father folded on top of her protection her from all the evils in the world. Jenny fell into it, holding tightly to his shirt like the child she had never gotten the chance to be.
“I’m sorry, Jenny, I’m so so sorry,” the Doctor told her honestly. “Who else did you lose?”
Jenny looked away, not wanting to pour salt on a wound, but she also knew that salt made the bleeding stop faster. It was for the better, she told herself and she took a deep breath.
“Our kids, that weren’t are kids,” Jenny stated, looking up to see her father’s shocked expression that looked like a cross between fury and pain for her.
“What do you mean,” the Doctor said, through slightly clenched teeth.
Jenny saw her father’s sorrow become misdirected as anger towards Jack, and she couldn’t let that happen. She loved them both, and she needed her father to have any hope of getting back to him after all this time. Forcing herself to smile, she moved closer to her father marginally and looked imploringly at him.
“It’s not like that. The way time progressed in there, it seemed like we had been married for years, but I don’t know how much time we actually spent locked away in there. Anyway, I remember everything from that time, me and Jack meeting at this hospital, and dating for a while. He was such a character, coming on to everyone we passed at first. I slapped him a couple times, but then he just stopped. He was there for me and I was there for him.”
Jenny smiled and toed her boot on the ground, as her face flushed and she looked up at her father, still looking at her doubtfully.
“I remember everything we did, Dad,” Jenny told him. “Everything. Him holding my hand and holding me, whenever something bad happened. When I told him he was going to be a father he swooped me into his arms and held me so tight.”
The Doctor’s gaze softened, as he listened intently to what Jenny was saying. Part of it was to listen to what his daughter had been up to, but a bigger half of him wanted to distract her from further questioning him.
xXx
Jenny sat next to Jack, with her head leaning on his side. Her eyes were half lowered while she stared up at Jack drowsily. He was softly stroking the back of her long blond hair unfastened and flowing behind her. All the while, she listened to the rhythm of his single heart and her duel hearts beating as one, the song of their love, a song more real than anyone could take away.
“Jack?” Jenny asked softly, opening her eyes wider and looking down at her protruding abdomen
“Hmm?” Jack murmured, not really focusing on her words, just her.
“Are you scared?” Jenny asked quietly, not looking in his eyes, but instead straight ahead. Something wasn’t right about this. It was going too fast, making her time sense off. She told Jack, and he was convinced it was the pregnancy, but in truth the gnawing at her gut had been around since she had first come into this world.
“Terrified,” Jack said sincerely with a laugh. “But, excited, and you should be too.”
“Something’s not right, Jack,” Jenny murmured, turning and facing him. “Time isn’t right, it’s all mixed up and knotted. It’s progressing too fast. I know you said it was just me, but it’s not. It’s… I don’t know.”
Jack held her closer, and flashed a winning smile.
“You worry, just like your father. We’re fine.” Jack placed a gentle hand on her stomach. “Everyone’s fine, Jen.”
Jenny ignored him and continued on. “I really wish Dad were here. He’d know. He’d understand.”
Jack took a deep breath and pulled the covers over her. The worry was clear on Jack’s face, but he hid it well after he turned off the light and wrapped his arms around her. The fluttering feeling in her stomach ceased and was replaced by the much less unnerving sensation of their children moving beneath. He kissed her forehead and gently coaxed her into a sleepy state.
“One day at a time, alright?” Jack asked, and she nodded against him. “We’ll be fine, just fine.”
xXx
Jenny had moved, so that her chin rested on her knees which were drawn up to her chest. She was staring off into space, wishing more than anything for reasons she had yet to find out, that Rose were here as well. She would understand; Jenny knew she would.
“There were times, when I thought I would be pushed forward into the future, sometimes a few seconds, other times I would have to remember months at a time. I need Jack’s help sometimes and other times he needed mine,” Jenny explained further. “The important moments were all there, our wedding, the twin’s birth, late nights when Jack came home with flowers, or anniversaries. But, those other days that you take for granted seemed to fall away. Like those lazy Saturdays or Wednesdays that you always think of as average. They just weren’t there sometimes.”
The Doctor nodded. “I was there. I fixed the data call, made it better. You must have been there with all the other people saved.”
Jenny nodded. “Jack said it was something like that once we had finally worked it all out.”
“When was that?”
xXx
The breeze blew steadily down the path, as each Jenny and Jack carried a child down the path to the park. The young girl, Rose Marion Harkness, was holding tightly to her father. He had never told Jenny why he was so insistent on why he had wanted to name their daughter that, other than it had been the name of an old friend. Jenny knew Jack’s secret and that he had thousands of years of dark memories to contend with, and she wasn’t going to open that can of worms until he was ready. On the other hand, Jenny’s arms were wrapped around and supporting the boy, Jack Doc Harkness, who was clinging to his mother fondly.
Jack had once teased Jenny that their children must have take after her in their looks because the Doctor’s DNA in her would never allow them to resemble the captain. In truth, however their children didn’t really share any of their appearances.
Jack had shrugged it off, but with Jenny’s time sense feeling even more out of tune lately, he couldn’t help but wonder if it meant something. Their eyes were blue yes, but not a cool blue like Jack’s or Jenny’s bright blue. They were muddled like they had been mixed with grey and green. Their fragile, featherlike hair grew in a dark brown color that was hued with red that neither Jack not Jenny could place.
“Daddy?” Rose asked softly. “What are we gonna do at the park?”
Jack beamed at her, pushing his thoughts to the side and bouncing her in the air. “Whatever you want, Rosie, slides are fun though, and swings of course, can’t forget them. Or the teeter-totter, that just sounds fun, doesn’t it?”
Rose smiled wide, toothy grin that made Jake think of her namesake. After one more moment staring at his daughter he turned his attention to his son, and looked over at little Jack who beginning to wriggle from Jenny’s arms and land lightly on his feet. He ran up to Jack and tugged his free arm over to the playground, while Jenny’s laughter could be heard behind them.
Once they had gotten the children set off on their ways, Jenny had settled into a bench next to him, while they watched their children tag a long together while the other children played as well. She stared blankly into the horizon, wondering how why the library’s teleport had landed them here. She was stranded from her ship, and Jack’s time vortex manipulator seemed to be beyond even her ability to repair.
She longed to go back to the stars to show them to her kids. They had a history that she was only just learning and adding on to. Her children had to become a bigger part of that. They were amazing in themselves. The children of a progentated Time Lady and an Impossible Man, the worlds should have been running through their minds with endless wonder had they been able to reach all that. Yet, they seemed so average, not inquisitive like she had been when she had stepped out of the machine or how she imagined Jack must have been if he had travelled with her father. The right questions had to have been asked, Donna taught her that.
“What are you thinking?” Jack asked, breaking her out of her thoughts, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her closely. His fingers curiously felt the side of her ribs through her shirt.
“Nothing,” Jenny said staring off and looking at their children again. They really were precious and she wouldn’t change them for anything, but there was still something peculiar about it.
Jack didn’t take her simple answer and pressed further, turning so he was facing her completely. “The daughter of the Oncoming Storm has nothing on her mind? I beg to differ. I know her a bit better.”
“Oh really?” Jenny taunted.
“Yes, really,” Jack said moving in to tickle her ribs, but she swatted his hands away. His eyes softened when he saw her true emotions running across her face. He placed a hand on either side of his face and kissed her softly. She didn’t respond, but she didn’t push away either. “Tell me. Please, Jenny?”
His disarming smile and bright blue eyes wouldn’t allow her not to answer him. She trusted him too much to let him think she didn’t. They were his kids too, and he deserved to know what she thought, but something told her he already knew. She had seen him standing outside their bedroom, staring at them. A smile would be on his face, but tears in his eyes. It took her a lot of coaxing just to get him to move from the spot and into bed.
“The kids,” Jenny said vaguely. “I’m worried about them.”
Jack frowned glancing over to them and seeing the way they played excitedly. They couldn’t be sick could they? Jenny would tell him, surely.
“What about them?” Jack was clearly worried as he took his wife’s hand in his and stared at the creations they made from their love.
Jenny shrugged. “They’re fine, it’s just. They’re so normal.”
Jack smiled and laughed, brushing a lock of blonde hair from her eyes. “I know what you mean, never expected them to look and act just like any other kid.”
Jenny stared at him for a second, seeing the sorrow forming in his eyes as he realized something and she did as well. They didn’t just act the same as other kids. They were the same; all the children were the same.
Jenny knew that she was seeing something that should have been forbidden. She was seeing something that should awaken her to what she should be trying to do, but instead she screamed and gathered the kids she knew were hers into both her arms and started running home, finding her there in a flash, with Jack taking little Jack from her loaded arms, so she could shift the weight of Rose into both her arms.
The pain on Jack’s face was evident, but he put on a smile for their children-for however long they would last-and led them over to the couch. Jack held his daughter tightly, not letting go, willing her into existence, while Jenny did the same with their son. She couldn’t let them go. He couldn’t let them go. They would hold them both for forever if that’s what it took.
“Jen,” Jack said, forcing a lilt into his voice as he pulled little Jack into his lap with Rose. “I think some hot chocolate would be nice for them, right about now. What do you think?”
Jenny gave a watery grin and nodded. “Of course,” she said, pressing a kiss in both of her children’s foreheads before hugging her husband around the neck.
He whispered tenderly in her ear. “They’re real, Jenny. Trust me, as real as you and me. As long as we believe, understand? No doubt. You were there. I was there when they were born.”
A pitiful laugh came from her mouth. “I broke your hand.”
Jack gave her a silly smile, before shooing her off and gripping his children soothingly. His strong arms turning even tenderer than Jenny thought possible as she took a final glance at them before stepping thought the door to the kitchen.
When Jenny came back, she dropped the cups of hot chocolate causing them to shattering on the ground. She ran and gathered Jack in her arms, while he stared blankly at the empty space between them.
“They’re gone,” Jack whispered. His hands opened and closed without meeting anything. He bit his lip and held Jenny, while she broke into sobs. “They’re gone.”
He didn’t cry, that was the part that scared Jenny the most. He wanted to see his emotions, to help him heal, so that she could heal as well.
“Jack,” Jenny tried, gently lifting his chin and forcing him to meet her eyes. She tried to wipe away her tears, but they kept flowing.
“They’re gone, Jen, just gone, after all that… just gone,” Jack whispered in a too calm voice.
“I know,” Jenny told him, a broken sob surfacing from her chest.
“Yeah,” Jack said.
“Now what?” Jenny asked, lost, looking around her and trying to think of something. They couldn’t stay broken forever, they had to heal, and they had to move on. They had to get better.
“We… we move on,” Jack said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand for her. “We stay strong, for them. Whether they were real or not we were still their parents. We remember.”
Jenny nodded, and leaned against him. Her face buried in her chest. She would remember, she would never forget. She would remember little Jack and Rose. She would remember every scraped knee, late night feeding or funny quirk.
“We remember,” Jenny repeated.
Jack nodded. “Forever.”
xXx
Rose walked with her hands shoved deep in her pockets. Some flickering
lights glowed around the camp, but for the most part it seemed completely empty. The feeling of loneliness began to eat away at her stomach as she pressed on, not looking back to the tent that the Doctor and Jenny were it. She tried to ignore that the lights had not turned off and the last thing the Time Lord was doing was sleeping.
Why did he keep pushing her away? If anyone wanted to help him work through his pain it was her. She had been the cause of a good piece of it for as long as the Doctor had been separated from her.
He had called her every term of endearment that she could think of, brilliant, fantastic, molto-bene, but never the one word that she wanted to hear above them all. His. She had never wanted to be anyone’s girl before, never, until she then one daft alien that swept her off her feet.
He was everything to her.
But, she wasn’t everything to him.
She loved him.
He wouldn’t even reply.
He was hers.
He wouldn’t take her.
Rose rubbed her eyes furiously and squeezed hot tears through her lashes, forcing negative thoughts out of her mind.
“He likes me,” Rose whispered. “He needs me, and I need him.”
He was broken, and she would fix him. He had lost his brother, found his daughter and had just come out of a plot to cause complete eradication of every living species in the universe besides his most loathed enemy.
She ran her hands through her hair and thought about turning back around to see if the Doctor was ready to talk, but a sound suddenly came to her attention.
She stopped stock still before she picked up her pace again, faster than before. Something wasn’t right. There was a soft rustling that picked up every time she started walking, but whenever she stopped so did it.
She reached into her pocket and found a pack of the Doctor’s Promethean Everlasting matches. She had kept them in the pocket of her jeans back when they travelled together. It had seemed that every other trip they ended up living in a dank cave with no other source of light or heat.
She struck the match easily with the lemony smell filling her nostrils and illuminating her path as she walked to the edge of the forest.
Her heart pounded fearfully in her chest as reached her hand out tentatively. Inch by inch she reached up to a branch, while murmuring ‘I’m going back, I’m going back,’ over and over again. As she pulled back the branch, she drew a deep, sharp breath and squeezed her eyes shut, expecting to have something jump out at her.
Slowly, the lack of claws leaving gnashes in her flesh became evident, and Rose calmed herself down long enough to open her eyes. Seeing nothing but forest in front of her, she was about to turn around from the forest and tell the Doctor that she thought something wasn’t right. However, a soft whining noise filled her ears. It wasn’t the same rustle that had caught her eats before this one was desperate, and childlike. It sounded almost as if it was in pain.
Without thinking, Rose followed the noise. It didn’t take long to follow the shrill noise that was becoming more and more evident.
Eventually, she reached the area that the noise was permeating from. Slowly, she walked up to the bush and pulled them away. A small human child was curled up there, desperately crying out, as Rose scooped him into her arms. He was shrouded in a blue blanket and sitting in a basket almost as if he was waiting for her to pick him up.
Gently, Rose rubbed his back and held him closely, soothing his cries to a soft whimper.
“Hey, now,” Rose whispered. “You’re alright, aren’t you?” The little boy stared owlishly at her, while she offered him a laugh. “Come on then, I bet you’re hungry right?”
As confirmation, the little boy wrapped his hand around Rose’s shirt and pulled on it sharply.
She smiled at the little bundle, but froze dead in her tracks as the sound of a gun cocked, and something cool and metallic pressed into the back of her head.