Heavy beta of 9X11's Sam and Cas scenes

[counteragent]

First Born, rewritten scenes
Original Author: Robbie Thompson
Editor: Counteragent
Beta: Balder12
Goal: My goal was to change as little of the scenes as possible, because I don't have the benefit of knowing how this episode fits into the larger season arc. However, I did want to rework the tone and emotional resonance, and I took the liberty of adding a small plot point

Comments

[monicawoe]

This whole season could use a heavy beta, quite frankly ; )
Nicely done- though I do have one question: why did Castiel inject Gadreel's grace? So he'd have enough strength to heal Sam completely?

[counteragent]

Castiel's weird grace-stealing earlier in the season makes me think somehting hinky is going on with his grace. Maybe he needs more, I thought to myself. Maybe the unquenchable-with-PBJ-hunger is driving him. Maybe he just wants to be able to heal Sam (and therefore attenuate his "honoring" of Sam's wish). I thought it could be a little of all of these things.

To me, it made sense on a number of levels and tied back into all the weird injection stuff Carver has going on in this season and the last. I wanted to leave his motivations ambiguous because it clearly wasn't something that could be solved in this episode, but might provide plot grist for future ones...

[monicawoe]

You're thinking ahead to other episodes! Also something this current writing staff needs to learn how to do better!

(though I take far more issue with their inability to properly remember / reference the past and their flagrant disregard for canon. 8x19 still makes me shudder)

[sockkpuppett]

AUUUGGHHH! I forgot about Taxi Driver for almost an entire day.

[rivkat]

I like it! Although I am also ok with Castiel taking the position that he won't participate in Sam's self-destruction, even if Sam has the right to choose death.

[counteragent]

I am, too, but the emotions of that stance rang all wrong to me in the original script, and this is where I ended up--Cas reinforcing that Sam has a choice.

I think it could be rewritten to support Cas protesting more overtly, as in the original, but since my focus is Sam, not Cas, I didn't have the Cas character insight to motivate his stance as presented in canon...

[rivkat]

I read that as Cas pretty much defaulting to Dean's POV (protect Sammy regardless of expressed wishes). I don't think of him as very good on the whole choice front.

I do really love the idea of Cas eating the extra grace. Very consistent with his past choices, and sets up other neat things.

[counteragent]

I don't think of him as very good on the whole choice front.

True enough--but I feel canon waivers back and forth on this one. I decided to take a stand and infer that he's finally learned about the importance of choice as a human. (Not that this is bourne out in the narrative to date this season, but it SHOULD have been, I feel...)

That being said, my rewrite would have not worked in canon because clearly Dean and Sam need to have this reckoning, not Sam and Cas. Then again, I wouldn't mind if EVERY character reinforced Sam's agency.

[de_nugis]

Much better! But you are tragically destroying the storyline where Cas retires to write a series of nauseatingly trite self-help cookbooks, so I don't know what would become of the series.

[counteragent]

I know! How will he support himself when he becomes human again, if not for Chicken Soup for the Former Angel's Soul?

[bowtrunckle]

SAM: I didn’t want to die. I just wanted the choice.

JFC, THIS NEEDS TO BE IN CANON. Sorry for yelling. SPN does that to me. We've had this free will card flapping in our faces for seasons and to not pull it out now when it's glaringly relevant makes me all kinds of frustrated. Also, this line sums up what I hope Sam's feeling. I don't feel invested in sucicidal!Sam, he feels too manufactured to me and not at all like fire-y, stubborn, I'll-do-it-my-way Sam from the earlier seasons. Maybe Carver's going for "character development" but I'm not buying it.

[counteragent]

Yeah, I felt it had to be said, too! Although my line is a little too on the nose, I feel that it makes more sense in the whole "free will" narrative than "life is precious".

Suicidal Sam makes some sense to me, which is why I left shades of it in here. I miss stubborn my way or the highway Sam, too, but canon does seem to have broken his back a bit.

[bowtrunckle]

canon does seem to have broken his back a bit

Yes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there isn't a cause for a more defeatist!Sam or downtrodden!Sam or broken-ish!Sam. I think there's plenty backing that up, and to not have Sam reflect the craziness he's been through would be ridiculous. However, Sam thoroughly wishing to die for no other reason than to die feels slightly at odds with who we know him to be from previous seasons in my estimation. Suicide is a terribly tragic thing; some would argue a very selfish way out. Sam dying because he doesn't want others to get hurt and doesn't have a viable "plan" for an alternative is a turn away from my knee-jerk reaction to "suicidal" and makes sense to me. But, you know, we all project our own biases onto these characters; this might just be mine.

[runedgirl]

YES! THIS!

[balder12]

This was such a delightful improvement on the actual show. :D

[counteragent]

Thanks again for your insight! :D

I may have gone too far to fix the "possible sarcasm" issue but I think it's OK...