[Rain doesn't bother writing anything more. Never mind 'later,' he's going over there right now. Losing the only two people from his home within the span of a week left him in a pretty bad place for a few days, emotionally speaking, but one of them is back now and apparently with memories intact. Rain doesn't intend to allow something like that to happen again.
He shouldn't have let it happen this time. He came across Okita's last journal entry too late, thanks to having been distracted by a memory crystal... he can't help but wonder if the timing of it was really a coincidence. But it's not hard to deduce what happened. Okita called a meeting, and then died immediately after that meeting; Rain can guess at what it must have been about, and... he's angry. At the same time that he's truly, deeply relieved that Okita's back, he's angry that the man got himself killed in such a manner, and he's angry at himself for not stopping it
( ... )
[Souji opens the door, and manages at least the semblance of a small, tired smile. It looks like there's some cocoon goo still dried in his hair - which is pulled back into a ponytail so he doesn't have to worry about brushing it right now]
[He really is here. Alive. Standing right here, talking, smiling a smile that doesn't fool Rain for a second... he's alive. For a few brief moments Rain does nothing more than look at Okita - perhaps it's childish, but something in him wants this reassurance. Reading the man's writing in the journal isn't the same as actually seeing him in the flesh.
But he hasn't just come here to see Okita, but to speak with him. And he wasn't kidding when he said that he needed to. Rain closes his eyes with a slow sigh, and when he opens them again he fixes Okita with a hard gaze.]
...What were you thinking? [There's an unmistakable hint of anger in his tone, to be sure, but it's not so much that as it is plaintive. Losing someone like that... Rain wasn't prepared for it to hurt as much as it did, but... it hurt a lot.]
Protecting- [Rain cuts himself off abruptly. He is not going to lose his composure now, not when he's clung to it for this long. He takes a breath and lowers his voice a bit, though his words are no less pointed.]
Knowledge is the most dangerous thing here. Handing it out puts people at risk. Especially when you call such a meeting over the journals. If I'd seen it-
[Again Rain cuts himself off, and his gaze drops to a spot on the ground beside his feet. His voice grows slightly more subdued, his expression melancholy.] ...If I'd seen it in time, you wouldn't have died. I'd have stopped you.
[Okita knew... of course he knew. For samurai, death is different. There's honour to be found in it, in dying for a worthy cause. Rain understands that. But someone knowingly and willingly going to what may well be their death with the intention of protecting others... it hits far too close to home for him. He's remembered that talk with Peacemaker on the rooftop. He knows his sister did something very much like that for his sake.
Rain's hands clench and his jaw tightens visibly, and he wills himself not to think about that right now. It's just about the last thing he needs on his mind when he's trying to keep his cool. Another slow breath, and he forcibly collects his thoughts.]
Whether or not they deserved to know, there are better ways to go about it. The journals are watched. It was too obvious.
[Rain holds Okita's gaze, and his own stare abruptly becomes more intent, almost threatening.] I trust that you at least kept what I told you to yourself. [He doesn't truly think that Okita would have broken his word and
( ... )
[There's a short, broken laugh, and a not-quite-sane look in his eyes. When he finally catches his breath again - and it's probably pretty clear that he sounds like he's been running laps around the Sphere - he speaks again]
[Rain closes his eyes and lowers his head in relief, some of the tension draining out of his frame. If that information had gotten out, after he promised Simon... he wouldn't have been able to face the man again. He knows he shouldn't doubt Okita's honour, but... the 'what if' voice in his mind isn't always easy to ignore.
By the sound of it, though, he's not the first to lay into Okita for his actions. He looks back up at the other man.] So someone else has already given you a piece of their mind? [Good, Rain thinks. Perhaps the more people who tell Okita not to do things like that, the quicker it'll sink in.
He notices Okita's breathing, and frowns in concern... is he sick again? He's not coughing, but Rain's not sure why else he'd be out of breath when they're just standing here. Standing in the doorway, still... and this conversation could take awhile. He suspects there may be something else Okita's not telling him.]
[Souji tenses visibly, his lips thinning - Tian had given him rather more than piece of his mind. But he wasn't going to stand in the doorway discussing it. So he stood aside, silently letting Rain into his home.
He followes, as well, closing the door behind him, and slipping down to his usual spot on a floor cushion. After a moment of silence, he speaks-]
Tian-sama came by, earlier.
[No familiar lack of honorific, and no 'dono' either. Tian was no longer his lord.]
[Rain enters, and kneels across from Okita's spot. These visits are really becoming quite routine... but there's very little that's routine about the circumstances of this one.
He picks up on the substitution of 'sama' for the usual 'dono' and his brows furrow slightly. He doesn't know Tian personally, but he's aware of his relationship with Okita, and he imagines that the dragon must have been considerably enraged... he wouldn't have harmed Okita though, would he? Is that why he's not breathing well? Rain's eyes narrow, and his voice is steely when he speaks.]
[Ah. Tian cast him off, then. Rain... well, he can understand it. If Okita pledged his service to Tian and then went and did something so consequential - and so reckless - behind his back or even against his will... Rain doesn't necessarily like it, but he can understand it. What Tian does is his business, though; Rain's just concerned with Okita here. And he never truly understood why the man pledged his service to the dragon to begin with.]
Here, perhaps, you are. But you know that he was always just a substitute. [Rain's aware of how cold and harsh that sounds, but he's not taking it back. While a fair portion of his anger has abated at seeing Okita in such an obviously shaken state, it hasn't entirely dissipated. After a pause though, he does temper his statement a bit.] Your true master is elsewhere.
[Another pause, and then...] What do you mean by 'barely that'?
[Rain's eyes widen, slowly, and he goes completely still. One of... Okita's lungs. The words replay themselves in his mind, sinking in a little more each time, and it's several long seconds before he can do anything more than stare at Okita in appalled shock. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft and hoarse.]
...Gone.
[What remaining anger Rain harboured up until this point has now utterly vanished. What Okita did was stupid, incredibly so... but he's paid for it. He's more than paid for it. He won't be able to fight like this - he's right. He's barely any sort of samurai at all, anymore. This price... is too high
( ... )
He shouldn't have let it happen this time. He came across Okita's last journal entry too late, thanks to having been distracted by a memory crystal... he can't help but wonder if the timing of it was really a coincidence. But it's not hard to deduce what happened. Okita called a meeting, and then died immediately after that meeting; Rain can guess at what it must have been about, and... he's angry. At the same time that he's truly, deeply relieved that Okita's back, he's angry that the man got himself killed in such a manner, and he's angry at himself for not stopping it ( ... )
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Rain-san.
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But he hasn't just come here to see Okita, but to speak with him. And he wasn't kidding when he said that he needed to. Rain closes his eyes with a slow sigh, and when he opens them again he fixes Okita with a hard gaze.]
...What were you thinking? [There's an unmistakable hint of anger in his tone, to be sure, but it's not so much that as it is plaintive. Losing someone like that... Rain wasn't prepared for it to hurt as much as it did, but... it hurt a lot.]
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Protecting... the rest of you.
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Knowledge is the most dangerous thing here. Handing it out puts people at risk. Especially when you call such a meeting over the journals. If I'd seen it-
[Again Rain cuts himself off, and his gaze drops to a spot on the ground beside his feet. His voice grows slightly more subdued, his expression melancholy.] ...If I'd seen it in time, you wouldn't have died. I'd have stopped you.
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Nobody else died. They deserved to know. And I knew... what might happen.
[Even if he hadn't predicted the full consequences]
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Rain's hands clench and his jaw tightens visibly, and he wills himself not to think about that right now. It's just about the last thing he needs on his mind when he's trying to keep his cool. Another slow breath, and he forcibly collects his thoughts.]
Whether or not they deserved to know, there are better ways to go about it. The journals are watched. It was too obvious.
[Rain holds Okita's gaze, and his own stare abruptly becomes more intent, almost threatening.] I trust that you at least kept what I told you to yourself. [He doesn't truly think that Okita would have broken his word and ( ... )
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You too? No. I didn't betray you.
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By the sound of it, though, he's not the first to lay into Okita for his actions. He looks back up at the other man.] So someone else has already given you a piece of their mind? [Good, Rain thinks. Perhaps the more people who tell Okita not to do things like that, the quicker it'll sink in.
He notices Okita's breathing, and frowns in concern... is he sick again? He's not coughing, but Rain's not sure why else he'd be out of breath when they're just standing here. Standing in the doorway, still... and this conversation could take awhile. He suspects there may be something else Okita's not telling him.]
...Can I come in?
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He followes, as well, closing the door behind him, and slipping down to his usual spot on a floor cushion. After a moment of silence, he speaks-]
Tian-sama came by, earlier.
[No familiar lack of honorific, and no 'dono' either. Tian was no longer his lord.]
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He picks up on the substitution of 'sama' for the usual 'dono' and his brows furrow slightly. He doesn't know Tian personally, but he's aware of his relationship with Okita, and he imagines that the dragon must have been considerably enraged... he wouldn't have harmed Okita though, would he? Is that why he's not breathing well? Rain's eyes narrow, and his voice is steely when he speaks.]
...And?
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[His voice is calm, a brittle smile in place - but his hands, resting on the edge of the table, are shaking.]
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Here, perhaps, you are. But you know that he was always just a substitute. [Rain's aware of how cold and harsh that sounds, but he's not taking it back. While a fair portion of his anger has abated at seeing Okita in such an obviously shaken state, it hasn't entirely dissipated. After a pause though, he does temper his statement a bit.] Your true master is elsewhere.
[Another pause, and then...] What do you mean by 'barely that'?
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I can read... his name now. The one you gave me.
[One small shred of comfort, anyway.
In response to the question, he raises a hand, touches the right side of his chest]
Death wasn't... the punishment. One of my lungs. It's gone.
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...Gone.
[What remaining anger Rain harboured up until this point has now utterly vanished. What Okita did was stupid, incredibly so... but he's paid for it. He's more than paid for it. He won't be able to fight like this - he's right. He's barely any sort of samurai at all, anymore. This price... is too high ( ... )
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But he's more than happy to accept the awkward transition, if it means not talking about how utterly useless he is now]
Which names?
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