Dean Winchester, First World Fittest
A/N: I wrote fluff! O.O I'm actually terrified of Jurassic Park and can only watch clips when intoxicated. But the new trailer inspired this happy broment. Enjoy!
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Movie night at the Morgan-Winchester household was always fraught with its own particular drama. Sammy liked "deep-thinkers" and documentaries; Cas liked foreign films and indie drama; Dean liked car chases and alien invasions. Since Sam and Cas enjoyed watching Dean watch bad TV almost as much as watching their own preferred films, they usually deferred to that, but Dean had it made his personal mission to find films they could all enjoy.
He'd believed he'd struck gold when he tapped into Michael Crichton and Stephen King: thrillers with science at their back. The first time they'd all decided to watch Jurassic Park together, Dean had wanted to skip ahead to when the Park's power went down, and had only relented when Cas admitted he'd never seen the whole movie, just clips Gabe had forced him to view. Dean had obliged because he was sure he'd discovered a magic formula to unlocking a whole new peace to movie nights.
But, like the idealistic scientists, he'd failed to factor in all that he couldn't control: namely, the two rabid geeks by his side.
While Dean had enjoyed watching the dinos rise up and kick ass, Sam, who had always eaten up the science, suddenly realized his brother's boyfriend studied it for a living.
And all hell broke loose.
The T-Rex preyed on humans and lesser dinos, Sammy Jackson brooded and smoked, Newman met a gruesome end by the "Spitter," and even the girly, snuggly "Meet the Herbivores" moments came and went, and Sam and Cas were engaged in a frenzied discussion of DNA, blood research, fossilization, cloning, genetic maps, patents on fossils, cloning, and genetic maps, theories on chaos, evolution, extinction.
They didn't even have the decency to shutup and respect the SOUNDTRACK, which, as far as Dean was concerned, was the only orchestra music worth listening to.
The elder Winchester had purposefully avoided The Godfather, fearing emotional discussions about immigration, Daddy issues, debates on the psychology of murder, psychopathy, the Death Penalty. He'd avoided Quentin Tarantino films for the sake of Sammy's weak stomach and Cas's horror at violence as humor; he'd avoided Westerns for fear of criticisms on historical inaccuracies, aliens for fear of deep discussions on space, time, black holes, and the Big Bang; even JAWS, fearing it would veer into a question of cruelty to animals.
SURELY the two guys that meant more to him than oxygen could at LEAST appreciate a bunch of friggin' DINOSAURS? Or at least have the decency to limit the Nerdvana to one that encompassed the genius special effects?
Sadly...no.
Dean was doomed to be the over-eager scientist, seeing himself gifting the world, only to discover he'd brought down a curse.
The credits rolled, the TV went dark, Dean said "I'll leave you two alone," and still Sam talked, enthralled with the Human Encyclopedia that was Dean's boyfriend, all while Dean's boyfriend, the Human Encyclopedia, beamed with joy at Sam's fascination and reveled in a captive audience for his own geekery.
They'd never last two seconds in Jurassic Park. He could picture Sam being scooped up in the jaws of a Tyrannosaur and hollering "Cas! There is a second set of teeth!" before vanishing down it's throat. Cas could be blind and stumbling with a Spitter on his tail and hollering "Sam! the sting is similar to the spit of the camel!"
All the proof that Darwinism was real was seen right there in his living room. The brains may inherit the Earth, but to keep it, they needed their Deans. Because if a Rex or a Raptor ever came near either one of these guys, Dean Fucking Winchester would be more deadly than an asteroid could ever be.
And if that, he thought, smiling at the loves of his life, was all the proof of something more in the universe than chaos that Dean would ever need.