saddened...

[cordelia989]

Joe broke my heart... yet again last night.  It's almost sick how much I let myself get hurt by him.  But I told him last night that he can't expect me to come back again.  If he contacts me again, I'm breaking this pattern we've been stuck in

Comments

[misskitten713]

*hugs* I'll keep you in my prayers Ashley. If you ever want to talk or hang out let me know. I'm glad you won't let him hurt you anymore and sad that he has so much already. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[cordelia989]

I'm always hard on myself. It's the way I am. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with him again. Everyone knew that. And yet I did.

I have never really cried over a guy before. Until last night. I hate that he made me cry (I don't cry easily at all). I thought things would be different. He said they would. I saw that some things had changed. Apparently not the right things.

I hate that he always tries to blame me for things that go wrong with us. However, like I said, it's like he is looking for things to go wrong. Because he'd rather keep his heart guarded than let someone in. Apparently, I'm not the same way (which is weird, because I am with EVERYONE else... just not him... I wonder why that is).

I just hate that I've allowed myself to get hurt by him... Again

[misskitten713]

I know. I'm hard on myself too. It's hard not to be.

If you really wanted to get back involved with him, if you really wanted to give it a try, if you thought there was a hint of possibility things would be different then you shouldn't beat yourself up for going for it. You would have regretted not knowing or not trying. You would have wondered if you missed out on an opportunity. Now you know.

Forget that people "knew" you shouldn't have gotten involved with him. They don't feel what you feel. They never even met him (most of them)! They're purely using their heads and not their hearts. And in a case like this your heart counts just as much as your head. If we always used our head and not our hearts no one would ever even be friends.

There is nothing wrong with crying over someone you cared about who hurt you. It doesn't matter he was a guy. Betrayal is enough to hurt anyone.