LJ Idol Season 8, Week 8: "A Traveling Travesty"
"Welcome"
Good morning, passengers! We--wait, what?
Sorry, read from the script with our scheduled departure time on it.
Ahem.
Good evening, passengers! We do apologize for the delay, and hope you enjoyed "Sweatin' to the Oldies." We'd like to welcome you aboard SOS Airlines Flight 74094-23.78, with service from San Francisco to Salt Lake City, Dallas, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Toronto before reaching our final destination, Oakland. Captain Magoo and First Officer Keller are in the cockpit, ready to ensure a smooth flight.
Please do pay attention to the following brief safety information. There is one exit door on this plane--the same one you all came in through. In the event of an evacuation, please proceed in an orderly fashion toward the exit. If for some reason this is not possible, simply break the nearest window with your complimentary serving of chicken.
Your safety harness will descend from the ceiling now. Please ensure that all ten belts are attached securely, as demonstrated on the card in the seat pocket in front of you. The belts will be locked during flight. Should you require assistance, please ask your fellow passengers--before they get strapped in.
Should we lose cabin pressure, our oxygen system is down. However, our senior flight attendant, Mick, will pass a tank of laughing gas around to everyone. Please be sure to use disinfectant--we wouldn't want anyone to get sick! In the unlikely event of a water landing, Bubbles, our junior flight attendant, can be used as a flotation device.
Now, as we prepare for departure, please ensure that all luggage is safely stowed on the shelves above you, and all electronic devices are turned on until we reach our final destination. Remember, no smoking is allowed on board, unless you have enough to share with the flight crew. We at SOS thank you for your pity--sorry, your patronage--and we invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight!
Good morning, passengers! We--wait, what?
Sorry, read from the script with our scheduled departure time on it.
Ahem.
Good evening, passengers! We do apologize for the delay, and hope you enjoyed "Sweatin' to the Oldies." We'd like to welcome you aboard SOS Airlines Flight 74094-23.78, with service from San Francisco to Salt Lake City, Dallas, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Toronto before reaching our final destination, Oakland. Captain Magoo and First Officer Keller are in the cockpit, ready to ensure a smooth flight.
Please do pay attention to the following brief safety information. There is one exit door on this plane--the same one you all came in through. In the event of an evacuation, please proceed in an orderly fashion toward the exit. If for some reason this is not possible, simply break the nearest window with your complimentary serving of chicken.
Your safety harness will descend from the ceiling now. Please ensure that all ten belts are attached securely, as demonstrated on the card in the seat pocket in front of you. The belts will be locked during flight. Should you require assistance, please ask your fellow passengers--before they get strapped in.
Should we lose cabin pressure, our oxygen system is down. However, our senior flight attendant, Mick, will pass a tank of laughing gas around to everyone. Please be sure to use disinfectant--we wouldn't want anyone to get sick! In the unlikely event of a water landing, Bubbles, our junior flight attendant, can be used as a flotation device.
Now, as we prepare for departure, please ensure that all luggage is safely stowed on the shelves above you, and all electronic devices are turned on until we reach our final destination. Remember, no smoking is allowed on board, unless you have enough to share with the flight crew. We at SOS thank you for your pity--sorry, your patronage--and we invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight!