Decerto: Road to Freedom
Title: Decerto: Road to Freedom
Chapter: 20/40 + epilogue
Fandoms: Super Junior, U-Kiss
Pairings: KyuHyun/Zhou Mi, Han Geng/HeeChul, KiBum/SooHyun
Rating: R overall
Warning: AU, violence, angst
Summary: Taking place six years before the events of Decerto, the story of how a human and a slave started a revolution.
Saying goodbye to Henry at the Toronto Pearson Airport was one of the hardest things KiBum had to do in a while. He'd been invited back to Canada with his best friend for the winter holiday this time, and leapt at the opportunity to spend a little more time with the half-tiger. But all good things did have to come to an end, and he could only delay his return to Korea for so long. School was starting, and if he waited much longer he would miss the beginning of the semester.
Jetlagged and more than a little depressed, KiBum rolled his luggage down the dormitory hallway towards his room. He was sure he would get along fine with whoever he had for a roommate this time, but his new roommate would never be able to top Henry.
Realizing he'd gone right by his room number, KiBum blinked and doubled back. He fished out the key for the door and unlocked it, pushing the door open.
There was someone else in the room, but it wasn't KiBum's new roommate. The goat shot up off of the bed and bowed low. The goat didn't say anything, his frame trembling slightly as he stayed in the bowed position.
Stopping in the doorway, KiBum blinked repeatedly at the goat. Backing out of the room, he checked the door number. Yes, this was his room. But who was…
"…Hi?" he asked, bringing his luggage inside. He couldn't see the other man's face like this. His new roommate was a slave owner, great. "Uh…I guess you're here with whoever my roommate is, right?"
"Yes sir," the goat replied, nose still pointed at his toes. "Master will be back shortly. Master said I am too take care of your needs. Do you require anything of me?"
"…You can stop bowing for one." KiBum was liking this less and less. "I don't need anything, it's fine. I'm KiBum, what's your name?"
"My name is SooHyun, sir," the goat said, finally standing up straight. His eyes were lowered though, and his expression neutral. "Of course you may call me anything you like."
"You're…" It took a moment for KiBum's mind to catch up with the situation, and realize just who this goat was and where he'd seen him before. "Oh! Oh, I remember you." That meant…his roommate was that miserable excuse for a human being. Well, crap.
How was he supposed to get through a week, let alone the year?
"If your name's SooHyun, I'll call you that." KiBum rolled his bags to the foot of his bed. "Uh… I'll just be unpacking."
"Yes sir," SooHyun said, following KiBum with his eyes. "I'll be here if you need me for anything, sir."
"Please…please don't call me sir," KiBum winced, looking back at SooHyun as he went to close the door. "It's just KiBum."
That confused SooHyun, and he frowned slightly. "But... I'm not allowed to call someone by their name sir. If Master hears..." his ears perked up and he looked towards the door, immediately bowing low again.
Standing in the doorway was SooHyun's owner, blinking a little between the two. "Hi, you must be the new roommate," he said, giving KiBum a once over. I see you've met Useless here."
"…" Oh, this was not going to go over well. "Yes, I've met SooHyun," KiBum said, smile forced. "My name's KiBum, and yours is…?"
"JaeSoo," the other replied. "Look, I don't think we'll be seeing much of each other. My father owns half the school and insists on giving me a dorm because it "looks good" or whatever, but I don't stay here. I'll be gone for the next month, going to Europe with some friends."
"Okay," KiBum nodded, trying not to sound relieved. Just the attitude coming from the guy was going to piss him off, let alone how he referred to SooHyun. "I guess I'll be seeing you and SooHyun when you get back."
"Oh, I can't bring Useless with me," JaeSoo said with a snort. "You'll have to take care of him while I'm gone, make sure he doesn't burn the place down or get himself killed. He's kind of an idiot, but he gives good blow jobs if you're horny and desperate. Feel free to help yourself, he doesn't mind, do you goat?"
"No, master," SooHyun said, hands clasped tightly in front of him.
"See?" JaeSoo smirked, grabbing his bag from the floor and rifling through it. "Just don't hit him too much, he cries like a baby. Okay, looks like I'm off. See you in a month." JaeSoo left the room with a wave, closing the door behind him.
Staring at the door, KiBum barely restrained himself going after the arrogant asshole and punching him in the face. Jaw clenching and unclenching, KiBum dropped onto his bed with a groan and covered his face with his hands. "This was a stupid, stupid idea, why couldn't I just take Henry's offer and stay in Canada."
"Do you require anything of me, sir?" SooHyun asked, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"No…no," KiBum sighed, looking up. "I'm sorry, you can go back to…whatever it was you were doing before I got here. And it doesn't look like that ass's going to be around, so you don't have to worry about calling me 'sir' or anything like that."
"Yes, sir," SooHyun replied, sitting down on the other bed and staring at the wall. He didn't say anything, sitting completely still.
Biting his lower lip to keep from saying something he might regret, KiBum sighed and set about unpacking. The simple actions helped him calm down. Approaching this in anger wouldn't do either of them any good.
"You didn't get into trouble, did you?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. "That last time we met."
SooHyun turned his attention to KiBum, a slightly puzzled expression. "Sir? I'm sorry, I don't remember us meeting before... did I do something wrong?"
"Oh…well I guess you wouldn't remember," KiBum rubbed the back of his head. "I ran into you, uh…wow, I guess it was more than a year ago. Nearly took you out on the stairs cause I wasn't watching where I was going. I just wanted to make sure you weren't in trouble with that guy."
"He didn't hit me too hard, if that's what you're wondering," SooHyun said. "I make a lot of mistakes. Master says I need to be hit so I'll learn, but I'm just stupid."
"…What?" KiBum looked back at the goat, eyes wide. "No, no one ever needs to be hurt to learn anything. And you're not stupid, don't think that."
"My master says I am, and my master is right," SooHyun said. "Master is always right. That's why he's a master and I'm a slave. Signs are stupid compared to humans."
KiBum shook his head, biting his lower lip. "No…you're wrong, Signs are just as smart as humans." He sat down heavily on his bed. "Smarter, even. Humans are just too ignorant to see it."
SooHyun didn't seem to understand what KiBum was saying, but there was a small flicker of fear in his expression. "I'm sorry sir, I shouldn't disagree with you," he said, kneeling down and resting his forehead on the floor.
"What? No, no…" KiBum shook his head harder, slipping off the bed and kneeling in front of the goat. "Don't…don't do that, SooHyun. You don't ever have to bow to me, or apologize for anything. I should be apologizing to you."
"I deserve to be punished for disagreeing with you, sir," SooHyun said.
"No!" KiBum stood up again and backed away, pushing his hands through his hair. He couldn't do this…he couldn't stand in front of someone while they said such horrible things as though it was the truth. "I'm never going to punish you…never," he said, inhaling deeply as he looked at the wall. "And I won't let anyone else hurt you again."
"...Sir?" SooHyun risked a look up, slowly sitting back onto his knees. "You're upset with me, I'm sorry... please, I'll be good, I promise. What can I do? What do you want me to do?"
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to," KiBum said quietly, not looking back at the slave. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you sir, you will take care of me," SooHyun said. "And I will take care of you."
KiBum looked over his shoulder at the goat. He swallowed and exhaled slowly, thinking. "I don't need someone to take care of me…but you do." Turning around, he slowly walked back to sit on his bed. "Here…sit beside me," he patted the space beside him.
SooHyun blinked at him for a moment before getting up to his feet and moving towards the bed. When he sat down, he touched his fingers to the buttons on his shirt. "Do you want me to undress, sir?"
"Huh?" KiBum's eyes widened and he shook his head, waving his hands a little. "No, no. Clothes stay on. Both our clothes. I just wanted to talk to you, and it's hard when you've got your head pressed to the floor."
"Oh... of course, sir," SooHyun said, looking at him with wide attentive eyes. "I will listen."
"…" KiBum sighed. "Okay…so, we're here alone for a month. I have class most times during the week, but that still leaves the weekend. Is there anything you want to do? Any…games you like playing? Food? Places you want to go?"
"I... will do what sir wants to do?" SooHyun replied, his brow furrowed.
"KiBum," KiBum corrected. "My name's KiBum. And I'm not really talking about what I want to do. Let's see…" He tried to think of a better way to say it. "Imagine, uh…you were free. No collar, no master, no people to please or anywhere you had to be. You have money to do whatever you want. What would you do?"
SooHyun looked down at the question, obviously mulling it over. "I... would eat a flower," he said, looking up at KiBum again. "Is that the right answer, sir?"
Blinking repeatedly, KiBum managed not to laugh. "A flower?" He couldn't help the wide curl of his lips though. Well, a goat was a goat after all. "If that's something that you want to do, and can't right now, then sure. It's an answer. There's no 'right' or 'wrong' answers, and you don't have to say just one thing." KiBum stretched out his arms. "I don't think we'd find any flowers outside in this weather, but…oh, I know. I only have a morning class on Tuesday. We'll go to one of the greenhouses after and find you some flowers, how does that sound?"
"Why?" SooHyun asked. "Do you need to go to the greenhouse? Do you have a class there?"
"No?" KiBum shook his head. "You said you wanted to eat flowers, didn't you? We're bound to find some nice ones at the park."
"I... don't understand" SooHyun said, brow furrowed. "We're going to the park because... you want me to eat flowers?"
"No, we're going because you want to eat a flower," KiBum tried to explain. "What I want to do, is let you do whatever you want to do."
"Oh... well, if that's what you want to do," SooHyun said, nodding a little. "And what is it you want me to do for you?"
"Nothing," KiBum smiled at the goat. "Consider this a vacation from people ordering you around. This month, you just worry about yourself, okay?"
SooHyun looked more than confused at that, leaning back a little to give KiBum a confused look. "Vacation...? Sir, I'm a slave. I do what you tell me. There is nothing else for me to worry about, just you."
KiBum's smile was a little strained. "Here's something you should probably know about me, SooHyun. To me, Signs aren't slaves. I see Signs the same as humans…you can just change form, where we're kinda stuck with one. I'm never going to order you around, or make you do something I can't do myself, or do anything to hurt you. I'll talk to you and treat you exactly the same as I would to one of my friends."
"If you don't give me orders sir, I won't know what to do," SooHyun said, his hands trembling. "And master won't like that I wasn't helpful, or did what I was supposed to. I have to take care of you sir."
"SooHyun, your master's not here," KiBum said quietly. "He doesn't ever have to know. If he asks me, I'll tell him you were an amazing help and did everything I asked you to…which wouldn't be a lie."
"But what am I supposed to do?" SooHyun asked, eyes wide.
"Whatever you want to do," the human chuckled. "Let me…oh, I know. An example. My older brother has a personal slave, a rabbit named KyuJong. Whenever my brother isn't asking him to do things, KyuJong has a hobby; he gardens. If you could ever see the garden back home…it's the most beautiful garden in all of Korea, hands-down. We can find you some hobbies too, something you'll enjoy. How does that sound?"
"Master wouldn't want me to have a hobby," SooHyun said, looking away. "I'm always needed, Master always wants me doing something for him or whoever he leaves me with. Why are you doing this to me?"
KiBum bit his lower lip. "Because you deserve better than this," he replied quietly. "Far better." He looked down before sighing. "Just think about it, okay?"
"Yes sir, if that's what you want me to do," SooHyun said. "But... I don't think it will make a difference. I do what master says."
Shoulders slumping in defeat, KiBum closed his eyes. "Okay…I give, for now. I'm going to get some sleep…it was a long flight." Maybe he'd have some better ideas on how to get through to SooHyun after some rest. Staggering to his feet, KiBum pulled the remaining unpacked bags off from the bed to deal with tomorrow.
SooHyun stayed where he was, watching him with a neutral expression. "Did you want me to sleep with you, sir?"
"What? No," KiBum sighed, pulling off his shoes, socks and shirt to sleep. He turned off the light, leaving a desk lamp on for SooHyun. "No, you can do whatever you want." Returning to the bed, he pulled down the comforter to crawl under the sheets.
"... Yes, sir," SooHyun said quietly, sliding down off of KiBum's bed to sit on the floor. Knees tucked up to his chest and arms wrapped tightly around him, he rested his cheek against the back of his knees and closed his eyes.
KiBum settled in, closing his eyes. After a moment he opened them again, realizing SooHyun hadn't moved from the floor. "…Why are you on the floor?"
SooHyun opened his eyes and looked up at KiBum. "Master doesn't want me sleeping in his bed, sir," he replied softly. "I'll be fine, you need your rest."
"…That asshole," KiBum sighed, too tired to even get angry. He wondered how the other human had even ended up switching rooms halfway through the year, probably through acting like this. "I'm not leaving you on the floor. Here." he rolled to the far end of the bed, grabbing the second pillow from where he'd dropped it to the side and placing it beside his own. "Sleep up here, I'll see if I can get you a cot or something tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," SooHyun replied, sliding up into the bed and settling on a sliver on the edge of the bed. "What time do you need up? I'll make sure you're awake for your first class."
"Uh…eight, but I'm sleeping early so I'll be up on my own, don't worry about it," KiBum blinked at SooHyun tiredly in the dark. "You're going to roll right off. I don't bite, lie down comfortably."
"I am comfortable, sir," SooHyun replied. "Please... don't worry about me. I'm not worth worrying about, I'm just a slave."
"SooHyun…look at me," KiBum said quietly.
"Yes, sir?" SooHyun's eyes met KiBum's, wide and full of absolute trust.
"You're not just a slave," the human murmured, smiling tiredly. "No matter what crap they've fed you about being useless, or not as good as everyone else…don't listen to them. You're an amazing, amazing person that can never be replaced."
"Of course I can be replaced sir," SooHyun replied, shaking his head a little. "Master tells me that all the time. Why do you keep telling me things that contradict him?"
"Because your master doesn't understand just how special you are," KiBum said quietly. "And it's a shame." He closed his eyes, burying his nose in the pillow as he relaxed. "…And my name's KiBum."
"I'm a slave, sir," SooHyun replied. "I don't have the privilege to call you by a name. Sleep well sir."
KiBum was too tired to keep arguing for what seemed like a losing battle. He'd have to keep trying, the whole month he and SooHyun were alone. But tonight he went to sleep with a heavy heart, one that hurt for the goat curled up on the very edge of his bed who was so convinced he was worth as much dead as he was alive.
*********************************
The first half of the month was a struggle, KiBum trying and failing to get through to SooHyun. He didn't even want to think of what had to have happened to the goat to make him this way. It was a struggle to do anything, KiBum carefully not giving any orders despite what SooHyun said. He always asked rather than ordered; asking the goat what he wanted to eat, what he wanted to do, if he wanted to play any games, if he wanted to go anywhere.
The only slaves KiBum had been around this much were KyuJong, YoungSaeng and the Kim fighters. YoungSaeng spoke to him as an equal, and while the fighters and KyuJong always replied to him formally, there was a sense of ease with their interactions. They knew KiBum, and knew he wasn't like most humans. KiBum had yet to prove the same thing to SooHyun.
Meanwhile, the club for sign rights had suddenly skyrocketed into semi-fame at the school. After the breeding house trip KiBum had thought ended in a disaster, their attendance doubled, then tripled again a few weeks later. Some people had left, yes. But others seemed to be emboldened by what they witnessed at the house, bringing more students to join their cause. Sister clubs were starting in a couple of other schools, from the sound of it; small still, but KiBum had a lot of hope.
"Hey, SooHyun," KiBum looked up as he tied his shoes. "I'm going to another club meeting. Did you want to come along?"
"Did you need me to go with you?" SooHyun asked, in the midst of folding laundry. More specifically, KiBum's laundry. The goat was a fastidious cleaner, and despite KiBum's objections, SooHyun was going to continue to clean up after the human.
"I…no, I just don't like leaving you here to stare at the wall," KiBum sighed, looking up at the goat. "Or fold my laundry, you know I can do that myself."
"And yet you didn't," SooHyun pointed out. "I don't mind, sir. It keeps me occupied and you have so much important stuff do, shouldn't be worried about laundry. If you need me to go, I will go with you."
"I didn't do it cause I was writing a letter," KiBum wrinkled his nose, picking up the envelope to mail. He wanted to tell Henry what had been going on, including who his new roommate was. "I was going to do it after the meeting." He stood, stretching out his arms.
"And now you don't have to," SooHyun replied, picking up the pile of KiBum's underwear and placing it in his drawer. "If you didn't want me to stare at walls all day sir, then you would give me things to do."
"I told you there were games to play, or books to read or something," KiBum replied. "I'm not ordering you to do anything, I'm not that kind of person." Shaking his head, he went to the door.
"Sir... I have no reason to go with you to this club meeting," SooHyun said, hands clasped in front of him. "My master ordered me to take care of you, and that's what I will do as well as do anything you require of me. My master hasn't ordered me to go anywhere other than where you direct me to go."
KiBum stopped at the door, looking back at SooHyun. "I'm not ordering you to come with me," he said, shoulders slumped. He just couldn't seem to make any progress. "I was just asking if you wanted to come along. Your master isn't here, the only person holding you back is yourself."
"What I want is irrelevant," SooHyun said, shaking his head slightly. "I do what I'm told to do. If you want me to go with you, I will go."
"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you to go," KiBum sighed, pulling the door open. "See you later then." He stepped out of the room. When SooHyun made no move to follow, he closed the door and headed down the hallway with his hands in his pockets.
He honestly didn't know what he was doing wrong. KiBum gave every opportunity he could find for SooHyun to express an opinion, or an interest, or something. Was SooHyun worried he would tattle to his master when JaeSoo came back? Did he not trust KiBum? Which would make sense, KiBum supposed, given how humans in general treat Signs…
Stopping first to mail the letter for Henry, KiBum headed to the main hall where the club had taken over one of the large conference rooms. They'd had to move from their usual classroom to a bigger location when they ran out of seats for all their new members.
Breathing in deeply, KiBum smiled at the people he saw when he entered the room. There was still some time before the meeting was to start, KiBum looking around for Kevin. The younger man had been a huge help, taking over Henry's position in the club and organizing events with KiBum and a few others who had taken interest in leading the club.
Kevin looked like he was having a very serious discussion with one of the newer members, but when he saw KiBum he excused himself. "Hey, I wasn't sure you were going to be here, you're usually a half hour early to get set up," he said when he approached. "What did we want to start with? DongWoo finished the expense report, looks like we'll be able to actually rent out a space if we need to," Kevin said, going through his notebook.
"Sorry, I was a little distracted," KiBum winced, pushing SooHyun out of his mind for now so he could concentrate on this. "Any word on how the clubs in the other universities are doing? We should start brainstorming joint fundraiser and campaign ideas." He looked around the room, seeing a few unfamiliar faces. "We've got more members, or are they just here to watch for now?"
"Half and half," Kevin said, looking around the room as well. "I've already written up proposals for fund-raising and sent them over to the other clubs, haven't heard anything back yet. Why are you distracted? Everything okay?"
"Oh…just was trying to convince SooHyun not to spend the day staring at walls again," KiBum rubbed the back of his head. Kevin had met SooHyun the first week of school, after stopping by KiBum's room. "Worked about as well as usual."
"I don't know which of you is more stubborn," Kevin said, shaking his head a little. "Except... he has a legitimate reason for being stubborn. You don't."
"I'm not being stubborn," KiBum blinked. "How am I being stubborn?"
"You're being stubborn by not opening your eyes," Kevin said. "I get what we're doing here, and I believe in it, you know I do... but I also know how it really works in the world." He sighed, pulling KiBum a little bit further away from the others. "KiBum... he's a slave, and he's not your slave. Try thinking about it from his perspective."
"His asshole of a master isn't here though," KiBum protested quietly. "And I've told him I don't need him to do anything for me, he can do whatever he wants to pass the time. I've been around slaves my whole life, none of them have ever had any problems finding things to do in their free time."
"And from what you've told me, your family encouraged that," Kevin said. "From the five minutes you've seen of SooHyun's owner, you really think SooHyun has any idea what free will is? I'm sure it's been beaten out of him a long time ago. He doesn't understand what you want from him because he doesn't know anything else."
"But…" KiBum deflated, eyes pained. Kevin was probably right about that. "But what am I supposed to do? I've tried to help him this whole time, but I just can't seem to reach him."
"KiBum... SooHyun isn't your slave," Kevin said. "You'd be doing him more harm than good if you tried to encourage free thinking."
The other man looked away. "So what you're saying is to do nothing? To just ignore whenever he says he needs to be beaten to learn something, or that he's stupid and replaceable?"
"No, I didn't say you should ignore it," Kevin said, sighing softly. "I just don't think trying to convince him that he can speak his mind is a good thing. You've seen what that ass JaeSoo does to him. What do you think would happen if SooHyun decided to speak his mind to him?" Kevin tugged on KiBum's sleeve to get him to look back at him. "I know you want to help, but you have to think about what's best for SooHyun right now."
That hurt to hear. "I am thinking of what's best for him." KiBum sighed, pulling his sleeve out of Kevin's hand. "I'm just…going to walk around for a bit, I'll be back before we start."
"KiBum..." Kevin's shoulders slumped. "The only way you're going to change SooHyun is if you owned him yourself," he said as the other man walked away.
KiBum slipped out of the conference room, trying not to look like he was running away. No, he had decided a long time ago he would never own a slave. He didn't think he'd ever be able to handle the knowledge that he was keeping someone from being free…or the idea that owning a slave might make him indifferent to slavery. It was a foot in the door of accepting slavery as something natural and right, and he would have nothing to do with it.
But what else was there for him to do? Kevin was right. Any attempt to help SooHyun would just hurt the goat one way or another, no matter what KiBum did. What could he do?
By the end of the club meeting, KiBum was no closer to figuring out the answer. Avoiding any discussion with Kevin as he packed up and left, KiBum headed back to the dormitory slowly. He wished, as he had often wished this month, that Henry was still here. Shoulders slumped, he unlocked and opened the bedroom door, closing it behind him.
Rising up to his feet, SooHyun bowed to KiBum. "Welcome back sir, I hope the meeting went well?" he said with a smile, holding out his hands to offer to help KiBum with his things. "Is there anything you need of me before you rest for the night?"
KiBum didn't even have the energy to point out his name again. Shaking his head, he avoided the goat's help and stepped around him to place the club binder on his desk. "No, I don't need anything." He noticed the mess of papers that had been on his desk earlier was straightened out in a neat pile, biting his lower lip hard.
SooHyun frowned slightly, watching KiBum. "I'm sorry sir, are you upset with me?"
"What? No…no," KiBum exhaled slowly past the constriction in his throat. He was upset with himself, for being so utterly useless. He couldn't help SooHyun, as much as he wanted to. How was he supposed to make any difference out there, if he couldn't even protect someone right in front of him? "Good night, SooHyun." He turned away from his desk, pulling his pajamas out of the dresser.
"Sir?" SooHyun held up a hand slightly, hesitant. "If I may say sir... you keep asking me what I want to do and I never really have an answer because I don't know what I can do, but I like being with you. Thank you, sir."
KiBum looked back at SooHyun, not really expecting the slave to say anything out of the ordinary like that. Earlier that day, he would have latched onto that sentence immediately, full of suggestions. But now he couldn't help but wonder if this was what Kevin meant, if encouraging SooHyun to speak his mind would just hurt him later if he were to say something similar to JaeSoo. KiBum looked away, torn.
"There's nothing to thank me for, SooHyun. I'm so sorry."
"What are you sorry for, sir?" SooHyun blinked. "You don't have to apologize to me sir. I'm the one who should apologize. You wanted me to go with you, and even though you didn't order it of me, I feel like I disobeyed you."
The younger man shook his head, sitting down on the edge of his bed and closing his eyes. "That wasn't disobeying…you don't have to obey or listen to me ever, and I'm sorry for trying to pressure you into making decisions."
"I do have to listen to you," SooHyun replied. "Master left me in your care, I would be disobeying my master if I didn't obey you. Why do you want me to make decisions for myself when my master has told me I'm not allowed to?"
"Because my family has always let our slaves make their own decisions, for the most part," KiBum said quietly. "And I forget sometimes that not all other families are like that. I don't want you to get in trouble."
SooHyun was quiet for a moment, it was clear the gears were turning slowly in his mind as he thought about what KiBum had said. "Your slaves... they must be very happy to be in your service, sir. To have a master who is so kind to them."
"Our slaves don't think of me as their master," KiBum's lips quirked ruefully, eyes opening to look down at his hands. "My dad, my brother…those are their masters. I'm the annoying kid who sneaks them food at midnight, and makes up excuses to keep them out of trouble. I'd much rather be that than any kind of master."
"You would be a great master, sir," SooHyun said. "Are you sure there's nothing you need? Did you eat?"
"There was some snacks at the club meeting," KiBum shook his head, sighing quietly before looking up. "Did you eat?"
"I... no, sir," SooHyun shook his head, looking down. "I haven't been able to eat yet today."
"…Not at all?" KiBum's eyes widened before he stood. "Aish…Aren't you hungry? Come on, let's go get something to eat."
"What?" SooHyun raised his hands, shaking his head. "No, sir, I will go eat right now, you rest. You've had a long day, you need your rest."
"And you'll go eat bread and water or something equally appetizing, yeah, I've figured out how that works." KiBum stuffed his feet into his shoes. "There's a good place five minutes down the street, Sign friendly and everything. Goats are vegetarian, right? Or do you eat meat?"
"Well... no, I don't eat meat," SooHyun said, watching KiBum with a mix of horror and confusion. "Please sir, you don't need to do anything on my account. I can find food on my own."
"Oh, I just realized I'm still hungry after all," KiBum gave SooHyun a cheeky smile. "So why not find food together? They have lots of vegetarian stuff, I'm sure you'll find something you like." Grabbing his wallet, he stuffed it into his jean pockets and went to track down where he'd tossed his jacket.
"Oh... okay," SooHyun said, moving slowly towards the door to put on his shoes. "I'm fine with eating whatever sir."
"Whatever you say," KiBum chuckled, buttoning up his jacket. "Uh…do you have a jacket, or sweater or something?"
"I don't really need one sir, it isn't that cold out," SooHyun said, opening the door for him.
"Yes it is, there's snow on the ground," KiBum wrinkled his nose. Looking around, he spotted one of his hoodies on the back of his chair and picked it up, holding it out to SooHyun. "Here, put this on."
"If you insist sir," SooHyun said with a frown, taking the hoodie and slipping it over his head. "You really shouldn't worry about me so much."
"Maybe not, but I will anyways cause one of us has to," KiBum replied, stuffing his hands into his jacket as he slipped out into the hallway.
"Only if you agree that I can worry about you, sir," SooHyun said, following him out and closing the door behind him.
"You mean you don't do that anyways?" KiBum smiled back at SooHyun, locking the door and walking down the hallway slowly.
"I do, but you don't like it," SooHyun said. "I think fair is fair sir. If you are going to worry about me, which you don't have to, then I will worry about you and you won't be able to say anything about it. That seems fair to me."
KiBum blinked, looking back at SooHyun. The goat would have never said something like that at the beginning of the month, he was sure.
"…Okay, fair's fair," the human's lips quirked in a small smile. "You coming?"
"Yes sir," SooHyun grinned, following after him. The goat seemed far happier now than he had previously. Just that little bit of reaffirming their roles put him at ease. It was a start.
Chapter: 20/40 + epilogue
Fandoms: Super Junior, U-Kiss
Pairings: KyuHyun/Zhou Mi, Han Geng/HeeChul, KiBum/SooHyun
Rating: R overall
Warning: AU, violence, angst
Summary: Taking place six years before the events of Decerto, the story of how a human and a slave started a revolution.
Saying goodbye to Henry at the Toronto Pearson Airport was one of the hardest things KiBum had to do in a while. He'd been invited back to Canada with his best friend for the winter holiday this time, and leapt at the opportunity to spend a little more time with the half-tiger. But all good things did have to come to an end, and he could only delay his return to Korea for so long. School was starting, and if he waited much longer he would miss the beginning of the semester.
Jetlagged and more than a little depressed, KiBum rolled his luggage down the dormitory hallway towards his room. He was sure he would get along fine with whoever he had for a roommate this time, but his new roommate would never be able to top Henry.
Realizing he'd gone right by his room number, KiBum blinked and doubled back. He fished out the key for the door and unlocked it, pushing the door open.
There was someone else in the room, but it wasn't KiBum's new roommate. The goat shot up off of the bed and bowed low. The goat didn't say anything, his frame trembling slightly as he stayed in the bowed position.
Stopping in the doorway, KiBum blinked repeatedly at the goat. Backing out of the room, he checked the door number. Yes, this was his room. But who was…
"…Hi?" he asked, bringing his luggage inside. He couldn't see the other man's face like this. His new roommate was a slave owner, great. "Uh…I guess you're here with whoever my roommate is, right?"
"Yes sir," the goat replied, nose still pointed at his toes. "Master will be back shortly. Master said I am too take care of your needs. Do you require anything of me?"
"…You can stop bowing for one." KiBum was liking this less and less. "I don't need anything, it's fine. I'm KiBum, what's your name?"
"My name is SooHyun, sir," the goat said, finally standing up straight. His eyes were lowered though, and his expression neutral. "Of course you may call me anything you like."
"You're…" It took a moment for KiBum's mind to catch up with the situation, and realize just who this goat was and where he'd seen him before. "Oh! Oh, I remember you." That meant…his roommate was that miserable excuse for a human being. Well, crap.
How was he supposed to get through a week, let alone the year?
"If your name's SooHyun, I'll call you that." KiBum rolled his bags to the foot of his bed. "Uh… I'll just be unpacking."
"Yes sir," SooHyun said, following KiBum with his eyes. "I'll be here if you need me for anything, sir."
"Please…please don't call me sir," KiBum winced, looking back at SooHyun as he went to close the door. "It's just KiBum."
That confused SooHyun, and he frowned slightly. "But... I'm not allowed to call someone by their name sir. If Master hears..." his ears perked up and he looked towards the door, immediately bowing low again.
Standing in the doorway was SooHyun's owner, blinking a little between the two. "Hi, you must be the new roommate," he said, giving KiBum a once over. I see you've met Useless here."
"…" Oh, this was not going to go over well. "Yes, I've met SooHyun," KiBum said, smile forced. "My name's KiBum, and yours is…?"
"JaeSoo," the other replied. "Look, I don't think we'll be seeing much of each other. My father owns half the school and insists on giving me a dorm because it "looks good" or whatever, but I don't stay here. I'll be gone for the next month, going to Europe with some friends."
"Okay," KiBum nodded, trying not to sound relieved. Just the attitude coming from the guy was going to piss him off, let alone how he referred to SooHyun. "I guess I'll be seeing you and SooHyun when you get back."
"Oh, I can't bring Useless with me," JaeSoo said with a snort. "You'll have to take care of him while I'm gone, make sure he doesn't burn the place down or get himself killed. He's kind of an idiot, but he gives good blow jobs if you're horny and desperate. Feel free to help yourself, he doesn't mind, do you goat?"
"No, master," SooHyun said, hands clasped tightly in front of him.
"See?" JaeSoo smirked, grabbing his bag from the floor and rifling through it. "Just don't hit him too much, he cries like a baby. Okay, looks like I'm off. See you in a month." JaeSoo left the room with a wave, closing the door behind him.
Staring at the door, KiBum barely restrained himself going after the arrogant asshole and punching him in the face. Jaw clenching and unclenching, KiBum dropped onto his bed with a groan and covered his face with his hands. "This was a stupid, stupid idea, why couldn't I just take Henry's offer and stay in Canada."
"Do you require anything of me, sir?" SooHyun asked, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"No…no," KiBum sighed, looking up. "I'm sorry, you can go back to…whatever it was you were doing before I got here. And it doesn't look like that ass's going to be around, so you don't have to worry about calling me 'sir' or anything like that."
"Yes, sir," SooHyun replied, sitting down on the other bed and staring at the wall. He didn't say anything, sitting completely still.
Biting his lower lip to keep from saying something he might regret, KiBum sighed and set about unpacking. The simple actions helped him calm down. Approaching this in anger wouldn't do either of them any good.
"You didn't get into trouble, did you?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. "That last time we met."
SooHyun turned his attention to KiBum, a slightly puzzled expression. "Sir? I'm sorry, I don't remember us meeting before... did I do something wrong?"
"Oh…well I guess you wouldn't remember," KiBum rubbed the back of his head. "I ran into you, uh…wow, I guess it was more than a year ago. Nearly took you out on the stairs cause I wasn't watching where I was going. I just wanted to make sure you weren't in trouble with that guy."
"He didn't hit me too hard, if that's what you're wondering," SooHyun said. "I make a lot of mistakes. Master says I need to be hit so I'll learn, but I'm just stupid."
"…What?" KiBum looked back at the goat, eyes wide. "No, no one ever needs to be hurt to learn anything. And you're not stupid, don't think that."
"My master says I am, and my master is right," SooHyun said. "Master is always right. That's why he's a master and I'm a slave. Signs are stupid compared to humans."
KiBum shook his head, biting his lower lip. "No…you're wrong, Signs are just as smart as humans." He sat down heavily on his bed. "Smarter, even. Humans are just too ignorant to see it."
SooHyun didn't seem to understand what KiBum was saying, but there was a small flicker of fear in his expression. "I'm sorry sir, I shouldn't disagree with you," he said, kneeling down and resting his forehead on the floor.
"What? No, no…" KiBum shook his head harder, slipping off the bed and kneeling in front of the goat. "Don't…don't do that, SooHyun. You don't ever have to bow to me, or apologize for anything. I should be apologizing to you."
"I deserve to be punished for disagreeing with you, sir," SooHyun said.
"No!" KiBum stood up again and backed away, pushing his hands through his hair. He couldn't do this…he couldn't stand in front of someone while they said such horrible things as though it was the truth. "I'm never going to punish you…never," he said, inhaling deeply as he looked at the wall. "And I won't let anyone else hurt you again."
"...Sir?" SooHyun risked a look up, slowly sitting back onto his knees. "You're upset with me, I'm sorry... please, I'll be good, I promise. What can I do? What do you want me to do?"
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to," KiBum said quietly, not looking back at the slave. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you sir, you will take care of me," SooHyun said. "And I will take care of you."
KiBum looked over his shoulder at the goat. He swallowed and exhaled slowly, thinking. "I don't need someone to take care of me…but you do." Turning around, he slowly walked back to sit on his bed. "Here…sit beside me," he patted the space beside him.
SooHyun blinked at him for a moment before getting up to his feet and moving towards the bed. When he sat down, he touched his fingers to the buttons on his shirt. "Do you want me to undress, sir?"
"Huh?" KiBum's eyes widened and he shook his head, waving his hands a little. "No, no. Clothes stay on. Both our clothes. I just wanted to talk to you, and it's hard when you've got your head pressed to the floor."
"Oh... of course, sir," SooHyun said, looking at him with wide attentive eyes. "I will listen."
"…" KiBum sighed. "Okay…so, we're here alone for a month. I have class most times during the week, but that still leaves the weekend. Is there anything you want to do? Any…games you like playing? Food? Places you want to go?"
"I... will do what sir wants to do?" SooHyun replied, his brow furrowed.
"KiBum," KiBum corrected. "My name's KiBum. And I'm not really talking about what I want to do. Let's see…" He tried to think of a better way to say it. "Imagine, uh…you were free. No collar, no master, no people to please or anywhere you had to be. You have money to do whatever you want. What would you do?"
SooHyun looked down at the question, obviously mulling it over. "I... would eat a flower," he said, looking up at KiBum again. "Is that the right answer, sir?"
Blinking repeatedly, KiBum managed not to laugh. "A flower?" He couldn't help the wide curl of his lips though. Well, a goat was a goat after all. "If that's something that you want to do, and can't right now, then sure. It's an answer. There's no 'right' or 'wrong' answers, and you don't have to say just one thing." KiBum stretched out his arms. "I don't think we'd find any flowers outside in this weather, but…oh, I know. I only have a morning class on Tuesday. We'll go to one of the greenhouses after and find you some flowers, how does that sound?"
"Why?" SooHyun asked. "Do you need to go to the greenhouse? Do you have a class there?"
"No?" KiBum shook his head. "You said you wanted to eat flowers, didn't you? We're bound to find some nice ones at the park."
"I... don't understand" SooHyun said, brow furrowed. "We're going to the park because... you want me to eat flowers?"
"No, we're going because you want to eat a flower," KiBum tried to explain. "What I want to do, is let you do whatever you want to do."
"Oh... well, if that's what you want to do," SooHyun said, nodding a little. "And what is it you want me to do for you?"
"Nothing," KiBum smiled at the goat. "Consider this a vacation from people ordering you around. This month, you just worry about yourself, okay?"
SooHyun looked more than confused at that, leaning back a little to give KiBum a confused look. "Vacation...? Sir, I'm a slave. I do what you tell me. There is nothing else for me to worry about, just you."
KiBum's smile was a little strained. "Here's something you should probably know about me, SooHyun. To me, Signs aren't slaves. I see Signs the same as humans…you can just change form, where we're kinda stuck with one. I'm never going to order you around, or make you do something I can't do myself, or do anything to hurt you. I'll talk to you and treat you exactly the same as I would to one of my friends."
"If you don't give me orders sir, I won't know what to do," SooHyun said, his hands trembling. "And master won't like that I wasn't helpful, or did what I was supposed to. I have to take care of you sir."
"SooHyun, your master's not here," KiBum said quietly. "He doesn't ever have to know. If he asks me, I'll tell him you were an amazing help and did everything I asked you to…which wouldn't be a lie."
"But what am I supposed to do?" SooHyun asked, eyes wide.
"Whatever you want to do," the human chuckled. "Let me…oh, I know. An example. My older brother has a personal slave, a rabbit named KyuJong. Whenever my brother isn't asking him to do things, KyuJong has a hobby; he gardens. If you could ever see the garden back home…it's the most beautiful garden in all of Korea, hands-down. We can find you some hobbies too, something you'll enjoy. How does that sound?"
"Master wouldn't want me to have a hobby," SooHyun said, looking away. "I'm always needed, Master always wants me doing something for him or whoever he leaves me with. Why are you doing this to me?"
KiBum bit his lower lip. "Because you deserve better than this," he replied quietly. "Far better." He looked down before sighing. "Just think about it, okay?"
"Yes sir, if that's what you want me to do," SooHyun said. "But... I don't think it will make a difference. I do what master says."
Shoulders slumping in defeat, KiBum closed his eyes. "Okay…I give, for now. I'm going to get some sleep…it was a long flight." Maybe he'd have some better ideas on how to get through to SooHyun after some rest. Staggering to his feet, KiBum pulled the remaining unpacked bags off from the bed to deal with tomorrow.
SooHyun stayed where he was, watching him with a neutral expression. "Did you want me to sleep with you, sir?"
"What? No," KiBum sighed, pulling off his shoes, socks and shirt to sleep. He turned off the light, leaving a desk lamp on for SooHyun. "No, you can do whatever you want." Returning to the bed, he pulled down the comforter to crawl under the sheets.
"... Yes, sir," SooHyun said quietly, sliding down off of KiBum's bed to sit on the floor. Knees tucked up to his chest and arms wrapped tightly around him, he rested his cheek against the back of his knees and closed his eyes.
KiBum settled in, closing his eyes. After a moment he opened them again, realizing SooHyun hadn't moved from the floor. "…Why are you on the floor?"
SooHyun opened his eyes and looked up at KiBum. "Master doesn't want me sleeping in his bed, sir," he replied softly. "I'll be fine, you need your rest."
"…That asshole," KiBum sighed, too tired to even get angry. He wondered how the other human had even ended up switching rooms halfway through the year, probably through acting like this. "I'm not leaving you on the floor. Here." he rolled to the far end of the bed, grabbing the second pillow from where he'd dropped it to the side and placing it beside his own. "Sleep up here, I'll see if I can get you a cot or something tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," SooHyun replied, sliding up into the bed and settling on a sliver on the edge of the bed. "What time do you need up? I'll make sure you're awake for your first class."
"Uh…eight, but I'm sleeping early so I'll be up on my own, don't worry about it," KiBum blinked at SooHyun tiredly in the dark. "You're going to roll right off. I don't bite, lie down comfortably."
"I am comfortable, sir," SooHyun replied. "Please... don't worry about me. I'm not worth worrying about, I'm just a slave."
"SooHyun…look at me," KiBum said quietly.
"Yes, sir?" SooHyun's eyes met KiBum's, wide and full of absolute trust.
"You're not just a slave," the human murmured, smiling tiredly. "No matter what crap they've fed you about being useless, or not as good as everyone else…don't listen to them. You're an amazing, amazing person that can never be replaced."
"Of course I can be replaced sir," SooHyun replied, shaking his head a little. "Master tells me that all the time. Why do you keep telling me things that contradict him?"
"Because your master doesn't understand just how special you are," KiBum said quietly. "And it's a shame." He closed his eyes, burying his nose in the pillow as he relaxed. "…And my name's KiBum."
"I'm a slave, sir," SooHyun replied. "I don't have the privilege to call you by a name. Sleep well sir."
KiBum was too tired to keep arguing for what seemed like a losing battle. He'd have to keep trying, the whole month he and SooHyun were alone. But tonight he went to sleep with a heavy heart, one that hurt for the goat curled up on the very edge of his bed who was so convinced he was worth as much dead as he was alive.
*********************************
The first half of the month was a struggle, KiBum trying and failing to get through to SooHyun. He didn't even want to think of what had to have happened to the goat to make him this way. It was a struggle to do anything, KiBum carefully not giving any orders despite what SooHyun said. He always asked rather than ordered; asking the goat what he wanted to eat, what he wanted to do, if he wanted to play any games, if he wanted to go anywhere.
The only slaves KiBum had been around this much were KyuJong, YoungSaeng and the Kim fighters. YoungSaeng spoke to him as an equal, and while the fighters and KyuJong always replied to him formally, there was a sense of ease with their interactions. They knew KiBum, and knew he wasn't like most humans. KiBum had yet to prove the same thing to SooHyun.
Meanwhile, the club for sign rights had suddenly skyrocketed into semi-fame at the school. After the breeding house trip KiBum had thought ended in a disaster, their attendance doubled, then tripled again a few weeks later. Some people had left, yes. But others seemed to be emboldened by what they witnessed at the house, bringing more students to join their cause. Sister clubs were starting in a couple of other schools, from the sound of it; small still, but KiBum had a lot of hope.
"Hey, SooHyun," KiBum looked up as he tied his shoes. "I'm going to another club meeting. Did you want to come along?"
"Did you need me to go with you?" SooHyun asked, in the midst of folding laundry. More specifically, KiBum's laundry. The goat was a fastidious cleaner, and despite KiBum's objections, SooHyun was going to continue to clean up after the human.
"I…no, I just don't like leaving you here to stare at the wall," KiBum sighed, looking up at the goat. "Or fold my laundry, you know I can do that myself."
"And yet you didn't," SooHyun pointed out. "I don't mind, sir. It keeps me occupied and you have so much important stuff do, shouldn't be worried about laundry. If you need me to go, I will go with you."
"I didn't do it cause I was writing a letter," KiBum wrinkled his nose, picking up the envelope to mail. He wanted to tell Henry what had been going on, including who his new roommate was. "I was going to do it after the meeting." He stood, stretching out his arms.
"And now you don't have to," SooHyun replied, picking up the pile of KiBum's underwear and placing it in his drawer. "If you didn't want me to stare at walls all day sir, then you would give me things to do."
"I told you there were games to play, or books to read or something," KiBum replied. "I'm not ordering you to do anything, I'm not that kind of person." Shaking his head, he went to the door.
"Sir... I have no reason to go with you to this club meeting," SooHyun said, hands clasped in front of him. "My master ordered me to take care of you, and that's what I will do as well as do anything you require of me. My master hasn't ordered me to go anywhere other than where you direct me to go."
KiBum stopped at the door, looking back at SooHyun. "I'm not ordering you to come with me," he said, shoulders slumped. He just couldn't seem to make any progress. "I was just asking if you wanted to come along. Your master isn't here, the only person holding you back is yourself."
"What I want is irrelevant," SooHyun said, shaking his head slightly. "I do what I'm told to do. If you want me to go with you, I will go."
"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you to go," KiBum sighed, pulling the door open. "See you later then." He stepped out of the room. When SooHyun made no move to follow, he closed the door and headed down the hallway with his hands in his pockets.
He honestly didn't know what he was doing wrong. KiBum gave every opportunity he could find for SooHyun to express an opinion, or an interest, or something. Was SooHyun worried he would tattle to his master when JaeSoo came back? Did he not trust KiBum? Which would make sense, KiBum supposed, given how humans in general treat Signs…
Stopping first to mail the letter for Henry, KiBum headed to the main hall where the club had taken over one of the large conference rooms. They'd had to move from their usual classroom to a bigger location when they ran out of seats for all their new members.
Breathing in deeply, KiBum smiled at the people he saw when he entered the room. There was still some time before the meeting was to start, KiBum looking around for Kevin. The younger man had been a huge help, taking over Henry's position in the club and organizing events with KiBum and a few others who had taken interest in leading the club.
Kevin looked like he was having a very serious discussion with one of the newer members, but when he saw KiBum he excused himself. "Hey, I wasn't sure you were going to be here, you're usually a half hour early to get set up," he said when he approached. "What did we want to start with? DongWoo finished the expense report, looks like we'll be able to actually rent out a space if we need to," Kevin said, going through his notebook.
"Sorry, I was a little distracted," KiBum winced, pushing SooHyun out of his mind for now so he could concentrate on this. "Any word on how the clubs in the other universities are doing? We should start brainstorming joint fundraiser and campaign ideas." He looked around the room, seeing a few unfamiliar faces. "We've got more members, or are they just here to watch for now?"
"Half and half," Kevin said, looking around the room as well. "I've already written up proposals for fund-raising and sent them over to the other clubs, haven't heard anything back yet. Why are you distracted? Everything okay?"
"Oh…just was trying to convince SooHyun not to spend the day staring at walls again," KiBum rubbed the back of his head. Kevin had met SooHyun the first week of school, after stopping by KiBum's room. "Worked about as well as usual."
"I don't know which of you is more stubborn," Kevin said, shaking his head a little. "Except... he has a legitimate reason for being stubborn. You don't."
"I'm not being stubborn," KiBum blinked. "How am I being stubborn?"
"You're being stubborn by not opening your eyes," Kevin said. "I get what we're doing here, and I believe in it, you know I do... but I also know how it really works in the world." He sighed, pulling KiBum a little bit further away from the others. "KiBum... he's a slave, and he's not your slave. Try thinking about it from his perspective."
"His asshole of a master isn't here though," KiBum protested quietly. "And I've told him I don't need him to do anything for me, he can do whatever he wants to pass the time. I've been around slaves my whole life, none of them have ever had any problems finding things to do in their free time."
"And from what you've told me, your family encouraged that," Kevin said. "From the five minutes you've seen of SooHyun's owner, you really think SooHyun has any idea what free will is? I'm sure it's been beaten out of him a long time ago. He doesn't understand what you want from him because he doesn't know anything else."
"But…" KiBum deflated, eyes pained. Kevin was probably right about that. "But what am I supposed to do? I've tried to help him this whole time, but I just can't seem to reach him."
"KiBum... SooHyun isn't your slave," Kevin said. "You'd be doing him more harm than good if you tried to encourage free thinking."
The other man looked away. "So what you're saying is to do nothing? To just ignore whenever he says he needs to be beaten to learn something, or that he's stupid and replaceable?"
"No, I didn't say you should ignore it," Kevin said, sighing softly. "I just don't think trying to convince him that he can speak his mind is a good thing. You've seen what that ass JaeSoo does to him. What do you think would happen if SooHyun decided to speak his mind to him?" Kevin tugged on KiBum's sleeve to get him to look back at him. "I know you want to help, but you have to think about what's best for SooHyun right now."
That hurt to hear. "I am thinking of what's best for him." KiBum sighed, pulling his sleeve out of Kevin's hand. "I'm just…going to walk around for a bit, I'll be back before we start."
"KiBum..." Kevin's shoulders slumped. "The only way you're going to change SooHyun is if you owned him yourself," he said as the other man walked away.
KiBum slipped out of the conference room, trying not to look like he was running away. No, he had decided a long time ago he would never own a slave. He didn't think he'd ever be able to handle the knowledge that he was keeping someone from being free…or the idea that owning a slave might make him indifferent to slavery. It was a foot in the door of accepting slavery as something natural and right, and he would have nothing to do with it.
But what else was there for him to do? Kevin was right. Any attempt to help SooHyun would just hurt the goat one way or another, no matter what KiBum did. What could he do?
By the end of the club meeting, KiBum was no closer to figuring out the answer. Avoiding any discussion with Kevin as he packed up and left, KiBum headed back to the dormitory slowly. He wished, as he had often wished this month, that Henry was still here. Shoulders slumped, he unlocked and opened the bedroom door, closing it behind him.
Rising up to his feet, SooHyun bowed to KiBum. "Welcome back sir, I hope the meeting went well?" he said with a smile, holding out his hands to offer to help KiBum with his things. "Is there anything you need of me before you rest for the night?"
KiBum didn't even have the energy to point out his name again. Shaking his head, he avoided the goat's help and stepped around him to place the club binder on his desk. "No, I don't need anything." He noticed the mess of papers that had been on his desk earlier was straightened out in a neat pile, biting his lower lip hard.
SooHyun frowned slightly, watching KiBum. "I'm sorry sir, are you upset with me?"
"What? No…no," KiBum exhaled slowly past the constriction in his throat. He was upset with himself, for being so utterly useless. He couldn't help SooHyun, as much as he wanted to. How was he supposed to make any difference out there, if he couldn't even protect someone right in front of him? "Good night, SooHyun." He turned away from his desk, pulling his pajamas out of the dresser.
"Sir?" SooHyun held up a hand slightly, hesitant. "If I may say sir... you keep asking me what I want to do and I never really have an answer because I don't know what I can do, but I like being with you. Thank you, sir."
KiBum looked back at SooHyun, not really expecting the slave to say anything out of the ordinary like that. Earlier that day, he would have latched onto that sentence immediately, full of suggestions. But now he couldn't help but wonder if this was what Kevin meant, if encouraging SooHyun to speak his mind would just hurt him later if he were to say something similar to JaeSoo. KiBum looked away, torn.
"There's nothing to thank me for, SooHyun. I'm so sorry."
"What are you sorry for, sir?" SooHyun blinked. "You don't have to apologize to me sir. I'm the one who should apologize. You wanted me to go with you, and even though you didn't order it of me, I feel like I disobeyed you."
The younger man shook his head, sitting down on the edge of his bed and closing his eyes. "That wasn't disobeying…you don't have to obey or listen to me ever, and I'm sorry for trying to pressure you into making decisions."
"I do have to listen to you," SooHyun replied. "Master left me in your care, I would be disobeying my master if I didn't obey you. Why do you want me to make decisions for myself when my master has told me I'm not allowed to?"
"Because my family has always let our slaves make their own decisions, for the most part," KiBum said quietly. "And I forget sometimes that not all other families are like that. I don't want you to get in trouble."
SooHyun was quiet for a moment, it was clear the gears were turning slowly in his mind as he thought about what KiBum had said. "Your slaves... they must be very happy to be in your service, sir. To have a master who is so kind to them."
"Our slaves don't think of me as their master," KiBum's lips quirked ruefully, eyes opening to look down at his hands. "My dad, my brother…those are their masters. I'm the annoying kid who sneaks them food at midnight, and makes up excuses to keep them out of trouble. I'd much rather be that than any kind of master."
"You would be a great master, sir," SooHyun said. "Are you sure there's nothing you need? Did you eat?"
"There was some snacks at the club meeting," KiBum shook his head, sighing quietly before looking up. "Did you eat?"
"I... no, sir," SooHyun shook his head, looking down. "I haven't been able to eat yet today."
"…Not at all?" KiBum's eyes widened before he stood. "Aish…Aren't you hungry? Come on, let's go get something to eat."
"What?" SooHyun raised his hands, shaking his head. "No, sir, I will go eat right now, you rest. You've had a long day, you need your rest."
"And you'll go eat bread and water or something equally appetizing, yeah, I've figured out how that works." KiBum stuffed his feet into his shoes. "There's a good place five minutes down the street, Sign friendly and everything. Goats are vegetarian, right? Or do you eat meat?"
"Well... no, I don't eat meat," SooHyun said, watching KiBum with a mix of horror and confusion. "Please sir, you don't need to do anything on my account. I can find food on my own."
"Oh, I just realized I'm still hungry after all," KiBum gave SooHyun a cheeky smile. "So why not find food together? They have lots of vegetarian stuff, I'm sure you'll find something you like." Grabbing his wallet, he stuffed it into his jean pockets and went to track down where he'd tossed his jacket.
"Oh... okay," SooHyun said, moving slowly towards the door to put on his shoes. "I'm fine with eating whatever sir."
"Whatever you say," KiBum chuckled, buttoning up his jacket. "Uh…do you have a jacket, or sweater or something?"
"I don't really need one sir, it isn't that cold out," SooHyun said, opening the door for him.
"Yes it is, there's snow on the ground," KiBum wrinkled his nose. Looking around, he spotted one of his hoodies on the back of his chair and picked it up, holding it out to SooHyun. "Here, put this on."
"If you insist sir," SooHyun said with a frown, taking the hoodie and slipping it over his head. "You really shouldn't worry about me so much."
"Maybe not, but I will anyways cause one of us has to," KiBum replied, stuffing his hands into his jacket as he slipped out into the hallway.
"Only if you agree that I can worry about you, sir," SooHyun said, following him out and closing the door behind him.
"You mean you don't do that anyways?" KiBum smiled back at SooHyun, locking the door and walking down the hallway slowly.
"I do, but you don't like it," SooHyun said. "I think fair is fair sir. If you are going to worry about me, which you don't have to, then I will worry about you and you won't be able to say anything about it. That seems fair to me."
KiBum blinked, looking back at SooHyun. The goat would have never said something like that at the beginning of the month, he was sure.
"…Okay, fair's fair," the human's lips quirked in a small smile. "You coming?"
"Yes sir," SooHyun grinned, following after him. The goat seemed far happier now than he had previously. Just that little bit of reaffirming their roles put him at ease. It was a start.