Crown Thief ch 34
Title: Crown Thief
Fandoms: SS501, Super Junior, JYJ, SNSD, Epik High
Chapter: 34/40
Pairing: HyunJoong/YoungSaeng, RyeoWook/Zhou Mi, HyungJoon/JungMin
Rating: R overall
Warning: AU, violence, angst
Summary: Different lives converge in the city of Highport, where one innocent crime has the potential to destroy a kingdom.
HyungJoon let JungMin sleep in a bit longer than he probably should have, and he would most likely hear about it once he finally got the older man up. But it wasn't like they could do anything just yet, with HyunJoong getting some desperately-needed rest and the others just milling around. So he saw no problem with letting JungMin sleep in as well.
Cracking the door open to peek inside, HyungJoon slipped into the room and shut the door quickly before light from the hallway could get into the dark room. He tiptoed over to the bed, seeing JungMin still out cold.
"Hey...time to wake up," HyungJoon reached out and shook JungMin's shoulder lightly.
JungMin's response was muffled by his pillow, rolling over to get away from HyungJoon.
Chuckling, HyungJoon shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yah...you'll be mad at me if I let you sleep any more." He leaned across the bed, trying to roll JungMin back over.
"And I'll be mad if you wake me up," JungMin muttered, burying himself further under the blankets. "Take your pick."
"Pick between mad one and mad two?" HyungJoon gave up on rolling JungMin over, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees so he could peer over and try to spot JungMin's face between the blankets and the pillow. "That's not really fair you know."
"Life isn't fair," JungMin grumbled, opening one eye to look at him. "And neither am I. Why don't you just lay down with me and sleep?"
"Tempting. Maybe I will." HyungJoon let his arms and legs collapse to sprawl sideways across JungMin's middle.
JungMin gave a low grunt at the added weight, pulling back the blankets to scowl at him properly. "Not what I had in mind, I'm not a mattress."
"You're right, too lumpy." HyungJoon very purposely rolled over the older man to drop down on his other side, nearly rolling right off the bed if he didn't catch himself.
Lifting up the blankets, JungMin took HyungJoon by the arm and pulled him closer, settling the blankets around them. "See? Sleeping is much better than being awake," he said, draping his arm over HyungJoon.
The younger man squawked a little at being pulled closer. "But we're not sleeping," he pointed out, face inches from JungMin's.
"Not yet, and if you quit talking we will be," JungMin said, closing his eyes. "Unless you have something else in mind...?"
HyungJoon shook his head. "Nothing you might be thinking of. Go back to sleep." He settled down under the blankets, resigning himself to staying put for now. It wasn't like he'd been able to get much sleep while JungMin was gone.
JungMin frowned slightly, opening his eyes again to look at HyungJoon. "If you don't want to be with me HyungJoon, you can just say so. Getting close to you is like trying to hug a porcupine."
"Huh?" HyungJoon blinked at him in the near-darkness. "No, I want to be with you, I really do. I am close, see?" He scooted closer under the blankets, nearly rolling himself on top of JungMin in an effort to get his point across.
"That's not what I mean," JungMin sighed. "Answer me truthfully Joon... does the idea of being with a whore bother you?"
The thief frowned at the question, shaking his head. "No. It really doesn't, and it doesn't change that I like you. I don't like it when you're called that though, cause you're more than just that, at least to me you are."
"But that's who I am," JungMin said. "Even if I close down the brothel for good, I still was a whore who got paid a lot of money to turn tricks. I'm not ashamed of it, and I don't want someone who says they care about me to be ashamed by it either."
HyungJoon scooted a little back so he could look at JungMin properly. "I'm not ashamed of it. But that's not all there is to you, and I don't like it when people assume that."
"HyungJoon, it's better if people assume that's all I am," JungMin said. "It's an image I have kept very well all these years because it's kept me alive. The only person who needs to know who I really am is you, but I still don't know if you want me to be myself, or pretend to be someone else."
"When have I ever pretended you were someone else," HyungJoon said quietly, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. "It's you that I like, no one else."
"Do you really like me?" JungMin asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at HyungJoon.
"I do!" HyungJoon scowled up at him lightly. "What do I keep saying over and over?"
"Then quit trying to redefine who I am," JungMin said. He leaned closer, eyes wandering over HyungJoon's features. "Kiss me."
HyungJoon looked up at him, trying to decipher his expression and figure out what he was thinking. Lifting one hand, he cupped JungMin's cheek as he pressed a kiss to the older man's lips.
Shifting, JungMin returned the kiss as he pulled HyungJoon closer. Arm going around HyungJoon's waist, he rested his hand on the small of HyungJoon's back and pushed up at his shirt a little.
HyungJoon carefully looped his arm around JungMin's neck, the other supporting him from falling back onto the bed. After a moment he closed his eyes, trying to keep the kiss light.
JungMin could feel HyungJoon holding back, even as he wanted to go forward and deepen the kiss. He pulled back after a moment, looking into HyungJoon's eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
Meeting the older man's gaze, HyungJoon averted his eyes after a moment. "I know where this is going, and I have a sort of important confession to make," he mumbled, the tips of his ears red. "Except that I'm pretty sure you might hate me for it."
Blinking a little, JungMin sat back and looked at him with a frown. "Why would I hate you?"
"Because I should have mentioned it a long time ago." HyungJoon sat up, looking down and away. "I'm not interested in sex. At all."
"...Oh," JungMin replied quietly. "Okay. But I am... so, I think I need to go take a walk," he said, sliding his feet off the bed and onto the floor. "I'll be back in a bit."
Looking up at him, HyungJoon sighed. "I still like you, JungMin. Just remember that, okay?"
"I know," JungMin nodded, picking up his shirt from the floor and putting it on. He left the room without saying anything more, not sure where he would be going. The place was big, but not big enough to avoid people. He eventually found himself in an empty room on one of the upper levels, a window overlooking the mountains.
For a long time he sat on the window sill, thinking about things. His relationship with HyungJoon at the forefront of his mind. Why would anyone want to be with him, knowing what he is and not demand sex? It was one of the reasons so many of his attempts at relationships had failed, too many men thinking they could treat him as one of his clients would. Would a relationship devoid of physical intimacy be the answer to that? Sometimes JungMin had wished there was someone out there like that, who wouldn't expect something from him at all times. He had that now, but was it what he really wanted?
By the time he returned to his room, JungMin thought he had some answers, but he wasn't completely sure about anything these days. Closing the door behind him, JungMin leaned up against the wood and crossed his arms. "I've known people like you, seen them come through the brothel. Thinking they weren't normal so they wanted to try."
By the time JungMin came back, HyungJoon was ready to hit himself over the head with a hammer for not just going along with whatever the other man had wanted. Sitting up from where he was sprawled out along the bed, he took in JungMin's stance. "If it means that much to you, we can always...try. I'm not completely incapable."
"It doesn't solve anything Joon," JungMin shook his head. "What you do is your decision and I would never, ever want you to do something you don't want to. Okay?"
Chewing on his lower lip, HyungJoon nodded slowly, expression slightly relieved. "Okay...so...where does that leave us, then?"
"I don't know yet," JungMin admitted. "I don't want to try to change you, but I am who I am and that's not fair to either of us."
HyungJoon's face fell. "Okay. If you want to, you know, break up...I understand."
"I don't want to break up, but I need some time," JungMin said. "I think we both do. Am I who you really want to be with HyungJoon?"
"Yes," HyungJoon's lips thinned slightly. "Whether you believe it or not, I do." He stood up. "I guess I'll let you go back to sleep."
JungMin watched him, not moving from the door. "You were wrong you know, I don't hate you."
"But you're upset now. I should have just not said anything," HyungJoon shrugged, waiting for JungMin to move from the doorway.
"I'm not upset, and I'm glad you told me," JungMin said. "Relationships aren't built on lies and deceit HyungJoon."
"I never said it was," HyungJoon's shoulders hunched slightly and he looked away unhappily.
"You just said you wish you hadn't told me!" JungMin said, eyes narrowing. "Keeping something important like that from me isn't deceit? You've had time to think about this HyungJoon; I haven't, and it's not fair to get upset at me for needing some time to think about things, about us."
Looking back at JungMin with wide eyes, HyungJoon scowled. "Excuse me? It's also not fair to get upset with me for being upset about this! That you find something wrong with me, that my feelings for you can be doubted over and over just because I don't want to climb into bed with you, it hurts! And now saying I deceived you? How am I not supposed to be upset?"
"I never said I thought there was something wrong with you, I know there's nothing wrong with you," JungMin said, arms dropping to clench his hands at his sides. "You're completely twisting my words around now and pissing me off for real. If you aren't going to talk to me rationally and completely miss the fucking point of what I'm saying then there's nothing left for us to talk about."
"I don't think I'm missing any point," HyungJoon stepped closer to both JungMin and the doorway. "How many times have you asked me if I'm sure I want to be with you? You don't believe me. I like you, JungMin. You could have slept with half of the city and it wouldn't have mattered to me. You could keep running the brothel, and I might not have liked it, but I wouldn't stop liking you over it."
He stared up at the older man. "But you...you argue when I try to explain how that didn't matter to me, nitpicking at my words looking for some sort of hole, why? You compare my being nervous to tell you something personal to me with lying? You get upset when I'm not happy at being pushed away for something I can't help? Maybe you don't want to be with me. Maybe you never did."
"..." JungMin's jaw worked as he tried to think of something to say, looking into HyungJoon's eyes before he shook his head and looked away. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I just felt bad for a dumb kid. Maybe I'll just find another dumb kid who actually wants to have sex. That what you want to hear?"
HyungJoon looked down, tears glazing over his eyes. "No. But I'll take what I can get." He pushed past JungMin to the door.
"I think that's my line," JungMin said, stepping out of the way. "You know, for someone who says they don't have any interest in sex, you sure were enjoying it when I went down on you."
No sooner had JungMin said that than HyungJoon turned around and punched him hard on the jaw. He stared at JungMin, expression livid as the rough movement caused tears to spill over his cheeks.
"I really am an idiot," he said, voice shaking. "No one could love someone like you." He turned and left the room.
"I know," JungMin said quietly, rubbing at his jaw. He'd deserved that, lashing out in anger. HyungJoon hadn't deserved that, and he would really regret saying it later. It was probably for the best that they end this before they got too involved, HyungJoon deserved someone better than someone like JungMin. Glancing down, JungMin brushed his fingers over the coin HyungJoon had given him before tucking it into his shirt and out of view. The cold metal felt like a weight against his heart, a reminder of how much of an idiot he really was.
Fandoms: SS501, Super Junior, JYJ, SNSD, Epik High
Chapter: 34/40
Pairing: HyunJoong/YoungSaeng, RyeoWook/Zhou Mi, HyungJoon/JungMin
Rating: R overall
Warning: AU, violence, angst
Summary: Different lives converge in the city of Highport, where one innocent crime has the potential to destroy a kingdom.
HyungJoon let JungMin sleep in a bit longer than he probably should have, and he would most likely hear about it once he finally got the older man up. But it wasn't like they could do anything just yet, with HyunJoong getting some desperately-needed rest and the others just milling around. So he saw no problem with letting JungMin sleep in as well.
Cracking the door open to peek inside, HyungJoon slipped into the room and shut the door quickly before light from the hallway could get into the dark room. He tiptoed over to the bed, seeing JungMin still out cold.
"Hey...time to wake up," HyungJoon reached out and shook JungMin's shoulder lightly.
JungMin's response was muffled by his pillow, rolling over to get away from HyungJoon.
Chuckling, HyungJoon shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yah...you'll be mad at me if I let you sleep any more." He leaned across the bed, trying to roll JungMin back over.
"And I'll be mad if you wake me up," JungMin muttered, burying himself further under the blankets. "Take your pick."
"Pick between mad one and mad two?" HyungJoon gave up on rolling JungMin over, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees so he could peer over and try to spot JungMin's face between the blankets and the pillow. "That's not really fair you know."
"Life isn't fair," JungMin grumbled, opening one eye to look at him. "And neither am I. Why don't you just lay down with me and sleep?"
"Tempting. Maybe I will." HyungJoon let his arms and legs collapse to sprawl sideways across JungMin's middle.
JungMin gave a low grunt at the added weight, pulling back the blankets to scowl at him properly. "Not what I had in mind, I'm not a mattress."
"You're right, too lumpy." HyungJoon very purposely rolled over the older man to drop down on his other side, nearly rolling right off the bed if he didn't catch himself.
Lifting up the blankets, JungMin took HyungJoon by the arm and pulled him closer, settling the blankets around them. "See? Sleeping is much better than being awake," he said, draping his arm over HyungJoon.
The younger man squawked a little at being pulled closer. "But we're not sleeping," he pointed out, face inches from JungMin's.
"Not yet, and if you quit talking we will be," JungMin said, closing his eyes. "Unless you have something else in mind...?"
HyungJoon shook his head. "Nothing you might be thinking of. Go back to sleep." He settled down under the blankets, resigning himself to staying put for now. It wasn't like he'd been able to get much sleep while JungMin was gone.
JungMin frowned slightly, opening his eyes again to look at HyungJoon. "If you don't want to be with me HyungJoon, you can just say so. Getting close to you is like trying to hug a porcupine."
"Huh?" HyungJoon blinked at him in the near-darkness. "No, I want to be with you, I really do. I am close, see?" He scooted closer under the blankets, nearly rolling himself on top of JungMin in an effort to get his point across.
"That's not what I mean," JungMin sighed. "Answer me truthfully Joon... does the idea of being with a whore bother you?"
The thief frowned at the question, shaking his head. "No. It really doesn't, and it doesn't change that I like you. I don't like it when you're called that though, cause you're more than just that, at least to me you are."
"But that's who I am," JungMin said. "Even if I close down the brothel for good, I still was a whore who got paid a lot of money to turn tricks. I'm not ashamed of it, and I don't want someone who says they care about me to be ashamed by it either."
HyungJoon scooted a little back so he could look at JungMin properly. "I'm not ashamed of it. But that's not all there is to you, and I don't like it when people assume that."
"HyungJoon, it's better if people assume that's all I am," JungMin said. "It's an image I have kept very well all these years because it's kept me alive. The only person who needs to know who I really am is you, but I still don't know if you want me to be myself, or pretend to be someone else."
"When have I ever pretended you were someone else," HyungJoon said quietly, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. "It's you that I like, no one else."
"Do you really like me?" JungMin asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at HyungJoon.
"I do!" HyungJoon scowled up at him lightly. "What do I keep saying over and over?"
"Then quit trying to redefine who I am," JungMin said. He leaned closer, eyes wandering over HyungJoon's features. "Kiss me."
HyungJoon looked up at him, trying to decipher his expression and figure out what he was thinking. Lifting one hand, he cupped JungMin's cheek as he pressed a kiss to the older man's lips.
Shifting, JungMin returned the kiss as he pulled HyungJoon closer. Arm going around HyungJoon's waist, he rested his hand on the small of HyungJoon's back and pushed up at his shirt a little.
HyungJoon carefully looped his arm around JungMin's neck, the other supporting him from falling back onto the bed. After a moment he closed his eyes, trying to keep the kiss light.
JungMin could feel HyungJoon holding back, even as he wanted to go forward and deepen the kiss. He pulled back after a moment, looking into HyungJoon's eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
Meeting the older man's gaze, HyungJoon averted his eyes after a moment. "I know where this is going, and I have a sort of important confession to make," he mumbled, the tips of his ears red. "Except that I'm pretty sure you might hate me for it."
Blinking a little, JungMin sat back and looked at him with a frown. "Why would I hate you?"
"Because I should have mentioned it a long time ago." HyungJoon sat up, looking down and away. "I'm not interested in sex. At all."
"...Oh," JungMin replied quietly. "Okay. But I am... so, I think I need to go take a walk," he said, sliding his feet off the bed and onto the floor. "I'll be back in a bit."
Looking up at him, HyungJoon sighed. "I still like you, JungMin. Just remember that, okay?"
"I know," JungMin nodded, picking up his shirt from the floor and putting it on. He left the room without saying anything more, not sure where he would be going. The place was big, but not big enough to avoid people. He eventually found himself in an empty room on one of the upper levels, a window overlooking the mountains.
For a long time he sat on the window sill, thinking about things. His relationship with HyungJoon at the forefront of his mind. Why would anyone want to be with him, knowing what he is and not demand sex? It was one of the reasons so many of his attempts at relationships had failed, too many men thinking they could treat him as one of his clients would. Would a relationship devoid of physical intimacy be the answer to that? Sometimes JungMin had wished there was someone out there like that, who wouldn't expect something from him at all times. He had that now, but was it what he really wanted?
By the time he returned to his room, JungMin thought he had some answers, but he wasn't completely sure about anything these days. Closing the door behind him, JungMin leaned up against the wood and crossed his arms. "I've known people like you, seen them come through the brothel. Thinking they weren't normal so they wanted to try."
By the time JungMin came back, HyungJoon was ready to hit himself over the head with a hammer for not just going along with whatever the other man had wanted. Sitting up from where he was sprawled out along the bed, he took in JungMin's stance. "If it means that much to you, we can always...try. I'm not completely incapable."
"It doesn't solve anything Joon," JungMin shook his head. "What you do is your decision and I would never, ever want you to do something you don't want to. Okay?"
Chewing on his lower lip, HyungJoon nodded slowly, expression slightly relieved. "Okay...so...where does that leave us, then?"
"I don't know yet," JungMin admitted. "I don't want to try to change you, but I am who I am and that's not fair to either of us."
HyungJoon's face fell. "Okay. If you want to, you know, break up...I understand."
"I don't want to break up, but I need some time," JungMin said. "I think we both do. Am I who you really want to be with HyungJoon?"
"Yes," HyungJoon's lips thinned slightly. "Whether you believe it or not, I do." He stood up. "I guess I'll let you go back to sleep."
JungMin watched him, not moving from the door. "You were wrong you know, I don't hate you."
"But you're upset now. I should have just not said anything," HyungJoon shrugged, waiting for JungMin to move from the doorway.
"I'm not upset, and I'm glad you told me," JungMin said. "Relationships aren't built on lies and deceit HyungJoon."
"I never said it was," HyungJoon's shoulders hunched slightly and he looked away unhappily.
"You just said you wish you hadn't told me!" JungMin said, eyes narrowing. "Keeping something important like that from me isn't deceit? You've had time to think about this HyungJoon; I haven't, and it's not fair to get upset at me for needing some time to think about things, about us."
Looking back at JungMin with wide eyes, HyungJoon scowled. "Excuse me? It's also not fair to get upset with me for being upset about this! That you find something wrong with me, that my feelings for you can be doubted over and over just because I don't want to climb into bed with you, it hurts! And now saying I deceived you? How am I not supposed to be upset?"
"I never said I thought there was something wrong with you, I know there's nothing wrong with you," JungMin said, arms dropping to clench his hands at his sides. "You're completely twisting my words around now and pissing me off for real. If you aren't going to talk to me rationally and completely miss the fucking point of what I'm saying then there's nothing left for us to talk about."
"I don't think I'm missing any point," HyungJoon stepped closer to both JungMin and the doorway. "How many times have you asked me if I'm sure I want to be with you? You don't believe me. I like you, JungMin. You could have slept with half of the city and it wouldn't have mattered to me. You could keep running the brothel, and I might not have liked it, but I wouldn't stop liking you over it."
He stared up at the older man. "But you...you argue when I try to explain how that didn't matter to me, nitpicking at my words looking for some sort of hole, why? You compare my being nervous to tell you something personal to me with lying? You get upset when I'm not happy at being pushed away for something I can't help? Maybe you don't want to be with me. Maybe you never did."
"..." JungMin's jaw worked as he tried to think of something to say, looking into HyungJoon's eyes before he shook his head and looked away. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I just felt bad for a dumb kid. Maybe I'll just find another dumb kid who actually wants to have sex. That what you want to hear?"
HyungJoon looked down, tears glazing over his eyes. "No. But I'll take what I can get." He pushed past JungMin to the door.
"I think that's my line," JungMin said, stepping out of the way. "You know, for someone who says they don't have any interest in sex, you sure were enjoying it when I went down on you."
No sooner had JungMin said that than HyungJoon turned around and punched him hard on the jaw. He stared at JungMin, expression livid as the rough movement caused tears to spill over his cheeks.
"I really am an idiot," he said, voice shaking. "No one could love someone like you." He turned and left the room.
"I know," JungMin said quietly, rubbing at his jaw. He'd deserved that, lashing out in anger. HyungJoon hadn't deserved that, and he would really regret saying it later. It was probably for the best that they end this before they got too involved, HyungJoon deserved someone better than someone like JungMin. Glancing down, JungMin brushed his fingers over the coin HyungJoon had given him before tucking it into his shirt and out of view. The cold metal felt like a weight against his heart, a reminder of how much of an idiot he really was.