Fic: Eyes Open
Title: Eyes Open
Author: cookielaura
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Wordcount: 558
Rating: PG - Mild sex references
Disclaimer: Torchwood and its characters are not mine, and I'm not making money from this
Notes: I'm finally getting round to posting all my torchwood_las fics. This was written for the semi-final. The prompt was Mistakes and the object to mention was Weather. This won the round, which I have to admit, I was completely and utterly shocked by, as I didn't like this piece at all when I wrote it! It's grown on me a bit since though :)
Eyes Open
It wasn’t a late-in-the-day epiphany.
It wasn’t a sudden realisation that only came once it was too late, once he was in too deep and there was no way out.
It wasn’t something that he only admitted to himself after the fact, after Ianto’s death, during those six months - those achingly empty six months - before he left Earth.
It would have been easier if it was.
But Jack had known all along that it was a mistake. And so he only had himself to blame.
He’d known it was a mistake when he gave in to those blue eyes, that understated smile, those too-tight jeans and that too-fitted suit and the too-eager request to be a butler, a receptionist, a driver, anything Jack wanted. He knew full well that he should stick to his initial decision, that he should send this kid back to wherever he came from without a second thought. Instead he gave him a job and a set of keys and a whole lot of his patented smouldering glances, and, later, a whole lot more.
If there had been any doubt at all that getting involved with Ianto was a serious error, it was erased when Ianto nearly unleashed hell on Earth, courtesy of his basement secret. Jack knew then that he had an out, a government-sanctioned way to leave this behind, and he sat for hours with his gaze flicking from the Retcon bottle to his Webley, knowing he should just choose one and get the whole thing over with. Knowing he wouldn’t choose either.
It wasn’t just in the big moments, the decision-making moments, that Jack knew he was making a mistake. It was an almost constant awareness. He felt it when he started wondering whilst he dressed in the mornings what shirt Ianto would most enjoy on him that day, and when he started using his free time at the office to extensively research potential coffee-themed birthday presents and weekend breaks to sunny cities. He felt it when he began to automatically reach for Ianto’s hand when they walked outside, and he felt it even more when his hand began to feel empty without Ianto’s in it.
Sometimes, Jack wished that he’d been blindsided. That he’d started out carelessly screwing the office boy and that without him noticing, it had turned into so much more, and that he therefore couldn’t really take responsibility, because who knew when they were going to accidentally fall in love? But it hadn’t been a surprise. The first time they’d kissed, the first time they’d touched even, he’d known that one day this boy would have the power to destroy him in every way possible. He’d gone into it with his eyes open. And he knew it would end in tears.
Those tears clouded his vision now and then on these long nights heading to who-knows-where on a ship that was cold and dank and colourless. Every evening he downed scotch after scotch and nodded absently to more tales from the other passengers. And every evening he fiddled with the vortex manipulator, trying all the tricks he knew and then some to force it into life. It was his only chance now, his only way back.
Jack had known all along that it was a mistake. And given the choice, he’d make it all over again.
Author: cookielaura
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Wordcount: 558
Rating: PG - Mild sex references
Disclaimer: Torchwood and its characters are not mine, and I'm not making money from this
Notes: I'm finally getting round to posting all my torchwood_las fics. This was written for the semi-final. The prompt was Mistakes and the object to mention was Weather. This won the round, which I have to admit, I was completely and utterly shocked by, as I didn't like this piece at all when I wrote it! It's grown on me a bit since though :)
Eyes Open
It wasn’t a late-in-the-day epiphany.
It wasn’t a sudden realisation that only came once it was too late, once he was in too deep and there was no way out.
It wasn’t something that he only admitted to himself after the fact, after Ianto’s death, during those six months - those achingly empty six months - before he left Earth.
It would have been easier if it was.
But Jack had known all along that it was a mistake. And so he only had himself to blame.
He’d known it was a mistake when he gave in to those blue eyes, that understated smile, those too-tight jeans and that too-fitted suit and the too-eager request to be a butler, a receptionist, a driver, anything Jack wanted. He knew full well that he should stick to his initial decision, that he should send this kid back to wherever he came from without a second thought. Instead he gave him a job and a set of keys and a whole lot of his patented smouldering glances, and, later, a whole lot more.
If there had been any doubt at all that getting involved with Ianto was a serious error, it was erased when Ianto nearly unleashed hell on Earth, courtesy of his basement secret. Jack knew then that he had an out, a government-sanctioned way to leave this behind, and he sat for hours with his gaze flicking from the Retcon bottle to his Webley, knowing he should just choose one and get the whole thing over with. Knowing he wouldn’t choose either.
It wasn’t just in the big moments, the decision-making moments, that Jack knew he was making a mistake. It was an almost constant awareness. He felt it when he started wondering whilst he dressed in the mornings what shirt Ianto would most enjoy on him that day, and when he started using his free time at the office to extensively research potential coffee-themed birthday presents and weekend breaks to sunny cities. He felt it when he began to automatically reach for Ianto’s hand when they walked outside, and he felt it even more when his hand began to feel empty without Ianto’s in it.
Sometimes, Jack wished that he’d been blindsided. That he’d started out carelessly screwing the office boy and that without him noticing, it had turned into so much more, and that he therefore couldn’t really take responsibility, because who knew when they were going to accidentally fall in love? But it hadn’t been a surprise. The first time they’d kissed, the first time they’d touched even, he’d known that one day this boy would have the power to destroy him in every way possible. He’d gone into it with his eyes open. And he knew it would end in tears.
Those tears clouded his vision now and then on these long nights heading to who-knows-where on a ship that was cold and dank and colourless. Every evening he downed scotch after scotch and nodded absently to more tales from the other passengers. And every evening he fiddled with the vortex manipulator, trying all the tricks he knew and then some to force it into life. It was his only chance now, his only way back.
Jack had known all along that it was a mistake. And given the choice, he’d make it all over again.