Playing Father Christmas
Title: Playing Father Christmas
Rating: light NC17
Genre: General/Humor
Length: 2162
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Draco had not intended to spend his Christmas Eve making himself look fat, getting mugged, and receiving a blowjob from Harry Potter, but life's funny that way.
Note: Inspired by the song 'Father Christmas' by The Kinks. Written for hp_ficathon, prompt 'Frost.'
Happy holidays, everyone!
"I want a pony," chestnut coloured head said, drool slipping out the corner of her mouth. Repulsive. "And some Barbies, dollies, and a flying carpet." She leaned closer, placing her sticky hands on Draco's face, bypassing his humongous beard and getting his flawless skin. "Will you get me them, Santa?"
"No," he replied shortly, hating this more than he'd ever thought possible. "You've been a bad twerp. Coal for you."
Her bottom lip thrust out and wobbled for a moment before she threw her head back dramatically and wailed at the florescent lights. Draco grimaced. The Ministry of Magic was a cruel place. Didn't they understand the horrendousity of the situation they placed him in? Probably not. Then again, they wouldn't care.
The little brat's parents rushed over and wrenched her off his lap, thankfully. The toy store manager shot Draco a glare but he just shrugged. He hadn't done anything. The girl was being bad. All sticky with drool hanging out her mouth. If he was Santa that would send her a one way ticket to the naughty list. And there wouldn't be any coal for her. Maybe some blister potion.
A little boy in suspenders jumped up onto Draco's lap next. Draco suppressed the instinct to push him to the floor. He hated kids. Especially muggle kids. More so, muggle kids who wanted to sit on Santa's lap when he had to be Santa as part of his community service.
"Santa's not real," he hissed into the boy's ear, cutting him off mid list. The boy cocked his head and blinked. Maybe he hadn't heard through the white bush on Draco's mouth. He repeated, "Santa's not real."
The kid's eyes widened to the size of saucer bowls. "B-but I need to talk to Thanta."
"Too bad."
"You're lying. My mommy told me Thanta'th real and he giveth kidth toyth on Chrithtmuth."
Draco blinked this time, trying to understand the boy through his lisp. In his preoccupation the boy reached one skinny arm up and tugged on Draco's beard, letting it snap back painfully. Draco cursed, wishing he could actually curse the kid.
"Mommy, mommy!" the boy yelled, waving his hands about and hitting Draco in the face. "Mommy, mommy! He'th an impothture!"
"I quit," Draco mumbled and stood, letting the kid flop to the floor. It didn't seem to faze him. He just kept right on yelling "Impothture!"
The manger bustled over, her dark eyes narrowed, lips pursed. "What was that about?" A long fingernail poked his chest but he didn't feel it through the thick padding that made him look fat.
Draco shrugged. "Don't ask me. Weird kid."
The next thing he knew he was standing outside in the cold next to a red bucket hanging from a stand, the previous Santa that had been there rushing into the store, a huge grin on his face.
Utterly fantastic.
He shivered. Why wasn't the Santa outfit warm enough? It should have been. Five gazillion layers were enough. Fuck the Ministry.
The street bustled with people doing their last minute shopping and Draco realized just how pathetic a Christmas Eve this really was. He could be cozy at home, snug under a blanket with a book, or hosting an elegant dinner. But, no, he had to do community service.
It wasn't like he had many people he could invite to a party anyway. Almost all his friends were in Azkaban, hiding, or serving community service like himself. All the Death Eaters who didn't commit a crime too great got a choice of community service or Azkaban. Draco wasn't a fool. He picked two hundred hours of service.
At times like this he'd rather have Azkaban.
He should have stayed in hiding since he already had been from the Dark Lord and the Ministry. However he had to get caught and put on trail. A trial that was still affecting him two months later. A trial that landed him playing Santa in a bloody toy store. Or, standing outside with a bell in one hand and red bucket next to his other.
Some old couple walked past and the man dropped muggle paper in the bucket. Draco knew enough to understand that was money. Muggle money but money all the same. Stealing it sounded good. He deserved it after putting up with kid after kid sitting on his lap, wiggling, and laughing, and talking, and generally being there too much.
But he couldn't. Someone was watching him. Someone was always watching him on community service. Part of the bargain. Draco just didn't know who. Pansy knew hers because she'd caught him and now conned him into setting up nice things for her to do. That was the trick of it all. Your watcher chooses what you do. Draco would kill his watcher if he ever found out who it was. There were some terribly nasty things he was forced to do. Mostly charity related, where he had to be nice.
A throat cleared. Draco absentmindedly straightened his hat and glanced around. Three grubby looking boys were by his feet, looking starkly different from the other people milling around them, heeding the kids no attention. It occurred to Draco that these kids must be poor. A grin engulfed him.
"Father Christmas," the youngest said, scrubbing at his face.
"Give us some money," the tallest finished, holding his hands out. The other two followed suit.
Draco raised his eyebrows and scoffed but the message was null thanks to his beard and wig.
The tallest, which had a single dimple, smiled maliciously. The fleeting thought that he might have been sorted in to Slytherin had he been a wizard and not some poor scum living off the streets, entered Draco's head.
The kid moved closer, until he was standing in front of Draco. "Hand it over. Everything you got in your pockets. And then we'll take the money in the Salvation Army bucket."
The littlest, who strongly reminded Draco of a house elf he had at the manor, darted towards the bucket, looked around, and then snatched it off its chain. Draco's mouth fell open. He didn't care that they were stealing the muggles' money but he was in charge of the money so therefore they were stealing from him.
Nobody steals from a Malfoy.
"You little shit, hand that over." He moved but suddenly two balls over underfed boy landed on him and for underfed boys they packed a mean punch. All Draco could do was roll around, yelling, because the padding made it almost impossible to use his arms properly. Frantically he struggled to take his Santa coat off so he could rid of the padding, grab his wand out of his trousers, and hex the kids so badly they would need omitted to Saint Mungo's.
And why wasn't anyone helping? There were plenty of people around.
"Quick!" one of the boys yelled and they were off him, racing down the street, red bucket in hand, a few bits of paper floating in the frosty air. Draco struggled with his clothes even more. He was going to hex them if it was the last thing he did. He just needed to get to his wand.
Finally he got his coat off and he stumbled in what he thought was their direction but he wasn't sure because the padding was stuck on his head, beard, wig, and hat falling to the ground.
Chuckling stopped him short and he paused, took a deep breath, and tugged the pads off.
"Looking flawless, as always, Malfoy," Harry Potter was barely able to say through his laughter.
Draco scowled and tossed the pads at him. They hit their intended target and fell to the dirty ground. Potter grinned and looked at him. And looked at him.
"What?" Draco snapped. Potter shrugged and licked his lips. "What are you doing here?" Looking around, Draco realized he had stumbled off the sidewalk and into the alley. "In an alley?" Draco needed to get back out there or his watcher was going to get mad and assign him more hours. They were able to do that.
His watcher.
"You arse!" roared Draco, debating if it was worth the extra hours to hit Potter.
"Tis what happens when you're an Auror and there's no work," Potter said, his grin so wide Draco could probably count all his teeth.
Deciding to ignore the prat and deal with the thieves -- Potter could wait for death until after -- Draco set to work on untying the knot in his garishly red trousers.
After two minutes Potter asked, "What are you doing?"
"Getting my wand." Only he needed his wand to undo the knot.
"I'll help."
Those kids were going to get it once he could get the bloody trousers off. "Going to curse those kids so badly."
Suddenly the knot unravelled of its own accord and tan hands pushed both the trousers down, grazing the bulge in his pants a little longer than necessary. Not that it was necessary in the first place.
Draco made to wrench away but Potter's hands were trailing back up his legs and it felt rather nice. Potter's eyes were closed and his lips parted, looking so wanton that Draco felt his cock gaining interest.
"I turn you on, don't I?"
Potter mumbled, "I've been watching you for the past two months." Then his lips latched onto Draco's neck and sucked. His hands stopped on Draco's arse and just cupped. He didn't do anything else.
It wasn't that Potter was attractive, because he wasn't what with his permanently messed up hair, too green eyes, and very skinny body, but he wasn't unattractive either. And, gods, Draco could really use a blowjob after all that stress and little kids with their little hands and stickiness and crying.
"Go on then," he urged. "I'll let you suck me off."
Potter pulled back and raised his eyebrows. "Let me?"
Draco huffed. Well, if he was going to be difficult and condescending like that. "Do you want to or not?" He tapped a foot impatiently as Potter considered the option.
Just when he was about to leave, wand in hand, Potter fell to his knees and tugged Draco's pants down. And stared.
"Never seen a cock before? Or never seen one so big?" Draco sniggered.
"S'not so big," Potter quipped. "Mine's bigger."
"Want to bet?" But Potter's mouth closed over the head of Draco's cock and he forgot what he was betting about.
Surreptitiously he leaned across the wall, hoping Potter wouldn't notice his legs were so weak. Potter took him deep, fingers digging into his waist, keeping him from thrusting forward. Then he hummed and Draco let out a moan.
That moan must have unleashed something because Potter was sucking him with great vigour, cheeks hollowing out, tongue stroking all over, and lips tightening around his shaft, pulling up and down.
Draco curled his fingers in Potter's hair. A finger gently stroked his entrance and kept swirling around it, so close to entering. His cock hit the back of Potter's throat. The finger jabbed up his arsehole and Draco came, throwing his head back and just narrowly missing the brick wall.
A puff of frosted breath drifted in front of Draco's face and his cock was getting cold. He was surprised he hadn't noticed the temperature earlier.
"I always wanted to suck off Santa Claus," Potter laughed, tucking Draco's cock into his pants and pulling up his trousers.
Draco rolled his eyes. Potter was back to staring at him so he grabbed the coat and slipped it on, making way towards the sidewalk.
"Where are you going?" Potter asked, voice hurt. He cleared his throat and shifted uneasily under Draco's gaze.
"To kill those kids," he answered, voice measured. Potter couldn't actually want something more out of this, could he? Then again, Potter's cock was outlined by his jeans.
Potter grinned and pressed a hand against his erection. "You know I can't let you do that."
Draco quirked his lips. "Then you'll have to otherwise detain me."
Potter's grin turned feral. "You still have one hundred sixty-eight hours and twenty-two minutes left of community service."
Cocky bastard. "So you're community service now?"
"Are you kidding? The community practically decides my every move. Besides, I get to decide what it is exactly that you do."
"I won't go for non-consensual." Though why he was even going for it in the first place he didn't know.
"Of course." He tugged Draco by the coat to him. "I'm going to 'otherwise detain' you now."
Draco shook his head. "Not in this grungy alley you're not."
Potter pulled him closer and their lips touched. Surprisingly Potter wasn't that bad of a kisser. He swept his tongue once through Draco's mouth then turned them. The familiar feeling of Apparition squeezed Draco and then they were tumbling on a large bed, and maybe Christmas Eve wasn't a complete wreck after all.
Rating: light NC17
Genre: General/Humor
Length: 2162
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Draco had not intended to spend his Christmas Eve making himself look fat, getting mugged, and receiving a blowjob from Harry Potter, but life's funny that way.
Note: Inspired by the song 'Father Christmas' by The Kinks. Written for hp_ficathon, prompt 'Frost.'
Happy holidays, everyone!
"I want a pony," chestnut coloured head said, drool slipping out the corner of her mouth. Repulsive. "And some Barbies, dollies, and a flying carpet." She leaned closer, placing her sticky hands on Draco's face, bypassing his humongous beard and getting his flawless skin. "Will you get me them, Santa?"
"No," he replied shortly, hating this more than he'd ever thought possible. "You've been a bad twerp. Coal for you."
Her bottom lip thrust out and wobbled for a moment before she threw her head back dramatically and wailed at the florescent lights. Draco grimaced. The Ministry of Magic was a cruel place. Didn't they understand the horrendousity of the situation they placed him in? Probably not. Then again, they wouldn't care.
The little brat's parents rushed over and wrenched her off his lap, thankfully. The toy store manager shot Draco a glare but he just shrugged. He hadn't done anything. The girl was being bad. All sticky with drool hanging out her mouth. If he was Santa that would send her a one way ticket to the naughty list. And there wouldn't be any coal for her. Maybe some blister potion.
A little boy in suspenders jumped up onto Draco's lap next. Draco suppressed the instinct to push him to the floor. He hated kids. Especially muggle kids. More so, muggle kids who wanted to sit on Santa's lap when he had to be Santa as part of his community service.
"Santa's not real," he hissed into the boy's ear, cutting him off mid list. The boy cocked his head and blinked. Maybe he hadn't heard through the white bush on Draco's mouth. He repeated, "Santa's not real."
The kid's eyes widened to the size of saucer bowls. "B-but I need to talk to Thanta."
"Too bad."
"You're lying. My mommy told me Thanta'th real and he giveth kidth toyth on Chrithtmuth."
Draco blinked this time, trying to understand the boy through his lisp. In his preoccupation the boy reached one skinny arm up and tugged on Draco's beard, letting it snap back painfully. Draco cursed, wishing he could actually curse the kid.
"Mommy, mommy!" the boy yelled, waving his hands about and hitting Draco in the face. "Mommy, mommy! He'th an impothture!"
"I quit," Draco mumbled and stood, letting the kid flop to the floor. It didn't seem to faze him. He just kept right on yelling "Impothture!"
The manger bustled over, her dark eyes narrowed, lips pursed. "What was that about?" A long fingernail poked his chest but he didn't feel it through the thick padding that made him look fat.
Draco shrugged. "Don't ask me. Weird kid."
The next thing he knew he was standing outside in the cold next to a red bucket hanging from a stand, the previous Santa that had been there rushing into the store, a huge grin on his face.
Utterly fantastic.
He shivered. Why wasn't the Santa outfit warm enough? It should have been. Five gazillion layers were enough. Fuck the Ministry.
The street bustled with people doing their last minute shopping and Draco realized just how pathetic a Christmas Eve this really was. He could be cozy at home, snug under a blanket with a book, or hosting an elegant dinner. But, no, he had to do community service.
It wasn't like he had many people he could invite to a party anyway. Almost all his friends were in Azkaban, hiding, or serving community service like himself. All the Death Eaters who didn't commit a crime too great got a choice of community service or Azkaban. Draco wasn't a fool. He picked two hundred hours of service.
At times like this he'd rather have Azkaban.
He should have stayed in hiding since he already had been from the Dark Lord and the Ministry. However he had to get caught and put on trail. A trial that was still affecting him two months later. A trial that landed him playing Santa in a bloody toy store. Or, standing outside with a bell in one hand and red bucket next to his other.
Some old couple walked past and the man dropped muggle paper in the bucket. Draco knew enough to understand that was money. Muggle money but money all the same. Stealing it sounded good. He deserved it after putting up with kid after kid sitting on his lap, wiggling, and laughing, and talking, and generally being there too much.
But he couldn't. Someone was watching him. Someone was always watching him on community service. Part of the bargain. Draco just didn't know who. Pansy knew hers because she'd caught him and now conned him into setting up nice things for her to do. That was the trick of it all. Your watcher chooses what you do. Draco would kill his watcher if he ever found out who it was. There were some terribly nasty things he was forced to do. Mostly charity related, where he had to be nice.
A throat cleared. Draco absentmindedly straightened his hat and glanced around. Three grubby looking boys were by his feet, looking starkly different from the other people milling around them, heeding the kids no attention. It occurred to Draco that these kids must be poor. A grin engulfed him.
"Father Christmas," the youngest said, scrubbing at his face.
"Give us some money," the tallest finished, holding his hands out. The other two followed suit.
Draco raised his eyebrows and scoffed but the message was null thanks to his beard and wig.
The tallest, which had a single dimple, smiled maliciously. The fleeting thought that he might have been sorted in to Slytherin had he been a wizard and not some poor scum living off the streets, entered Draco's head.
The kid moved closer, until he was standing in front of Draco. "Hand it over. Everything you got in your pockets. And then we'll take the money in the Salvation Army bucket."
The littlest, who strongly reminded Draco of a house elf he had at the manor, darted towards the bucket, looked around, and then snatched it off its chain. Draco's mouth fell open. He didn't care that they were stealing the muggles' money but he was in charge of the money so therefore they were stealing from him.
Nobody steals from a Malfoy.
"You little shit, hand that over." He moved but suddenly two balls over underfed boy landed on him and for underfed boys they packed a mean punch. All Draco could do was roll around, yelling, because the padding made it almost impossible to use his arms properly. Frantically he struggled to take his Santa coat off so he could rid of the padding, grab his wand out of his trousers, and hex the kids so badly they would need omitted to Saint Mungo's.
And why wasn't anyone helping? There were plenty of people around.
"Quick!" one of the boys yelled and they were off him, racing down the street, red bucket in hand, a few bits of paper floating in the frosty air. Draco struggled with his clothes even more. He was going to hex them if it was the last thing he did. He just needed to get to his wand.
Finally he got his coat off and he stumbled in what he thought was their direction but he wasn't sure because the padding was stuck on his head, beard, wig, and hat falling to the ground.
Chuckling stopped him short and he paused, took a deep breath, and tugged the pads off.
"Looking flawless, as always, Malfoy," Harry Potter was barely able to say through his laughter.
Draco scowled and tossed the pads at him. They hit their intended target and fell to the dirty ground. Potter grinned and looked at him. And looked at him.
"What?" Draco snapped. Potter shrugged and licked his lips. "What are you doing here?" Looking around, Draco realized he had stumbled off the sidewalk and into the alley. "In an alley?" Draco needed to get back out there or his watcher was going to get mad and assign him more hours. They were able to do that.
His watcher.
"You arse!" roared Draco, debating if it was worth the extra hours to hit Potter.
"Tis what happens when you're an Auror and there's no work," Potter said, his grin so wide Draco could probably count all his teeth.
Deciding to ignore the prat and deal with the thieves -- Potter could wait for death until after -- Draco set to work on untying the knot in his garishly red trousers.
After two minutes Potter asked, "What are you doing?"
"Getting my wand." Only he needed his wand to undo the knot.
"I'll help."
Those kids were going to get it once he could get the bloody trousers off. "Going to curse those kids so badly."
Suddenly the knot unravelled of its own accord and tan hands pushed both the trousers down, grazing the bulge in his pants a little longer than necessary. Not that it was necessary in the first place.
Draco made to wrench away but Potter's hands were trailing back up his legs and it felt rather nice. Potter's eyes were closed and his lips parted, looking so wanton that Draco felt his cock gaining interest.
"I turn you on, don't I?"
Potter mumbled, "I've been watching you for the past two months." Then his lips latched onto Draco's neck and sucked. His hands stopped on Draco's arse and just cupped. He didn't do anything else.
It wasn't that Potter was attractive, because he wasn't what with his permanently messed up hair, too green eyes, and very skinny body, but he wasn't unattractive either. And, gods, Draco could really use a blowjob after all that stress and little kids with their little hands and stickiness and crying.
"Go on then," he urged. "I'll let you suck me off."
Potter pulled back and raised his eyebrows. "Let me?"
Draco huffed. Well, if he was going to be difficult and condescending like that. "Do you want to or not?" He tapped a foot impatiently as Potter considered the option.
Just when he was about to leave, wand in hand, Potter fell to his knees and tugged Draco's pants down. And stared.
"Never seen a cock before? Or never seen one so big?" Draco sniggered.
"S'not so big," Potter quipped. "Mine's bigger."
"Want to bet?" But Potter's mouth closed over the head of Draco's cock and he forgot what he was betting about.
Surreptitiously he leaned across the wall, hoping Potter wouldn't notice his legs were so weak. Potter took him deep, fingers digging into his waist, keeping him from thrusting forward. Then he hummed and Draco let out a moan.
That moan must have unleashed something because Potter was sucking him with great vigour, cheeks hollowing out, tongue stroking all over, and lips tightening around his shaft, pulling up and down.
Draco curled his fingers in Potter's hair. A finger gently stroked his entrance and kept swirling around it, so close to entering. His cock hit the back of Potter's throat. The finger jabbed up his arsehole and Draco came, throwing his head back and just narrowly missing the brick wall.
A puff of frosted breath drifted in front of Draco's face and his cock was getting cold. He was surprised he hadn't noticed the temperature earlier.
"I always wanted to suck off Santa Claus," Potter laughed, tucking Draco's cock into his pants and pulling up his trousers.
Draco rolled his eyes. Potter was back to staring at him so he grabbed the coat and slipped it on, making way towards the sidewalk.
"Where are you going?" Potter asked, voice hurt. He cleared his throat and shifted uneasily under Draco's gaze.
"To kill those kids," he answered, voice measured. Potter couldn't actually want something more out of this, could he? Then again, Potter's cock was outlined by his jeans.
Potter grinned and pressed a hand against his erection. "You know I can't let you do that."
Draco quirked his lips. "Then you'll have to otherwise detain me."
Potter's grin turned feral. "You still have one hundred sixty-eight hours and twenty-two minutes left of community service."
Cocky bastard. "So you're community service now?"
"Are you kidding? The community practically decides my every move. Besides, I get to decide what it is exactly that you do."
"I won't go for non-consensual." Though why he was even going for it in the first place he didn't know.
"Of course." He tugged Draco by the coat to him. "I'm going to 'otherwise detain' you now."
Draco shook his head. "Not in this grungy alley you're not."
Potter pulled him closer and their lips touched. Surprisingly Potter wasn't that bad of a kisser. He swept his tongue once through Draco's mouth then turned them. The familiar feeling of Apparition squeezed Draco and then they were tumbling on a large bed, and maybe Christmas Eve wasn't a complete wreck after all.