"First World problems"--a mini-rant

[coneycat]

I've already said this on the journal of a friend, and I hope I was somewhat coherent. But I'd already been thinking about this and now, it seems, I finally need to say something.

Disclaimer: I am not ranting at anyone. Quite the opposite. Also, I am well aware this is none of my business, but what is LJ for except to express opinions about stuff

Comments

[revelininsanity]

This is a very smart post and you should be proud.

The trivialization of pain is really irritating. I used to go to a school where anytime I would complain about something, someone was sure to talk about how at least I wasn't starving or something. People tend to try to put others' pain down in order to make them feel better or something. All it made me was mad and guilty.

You need to be able to own your pain, I guess is what I'm saying, even emotional pain, and this post nailed that.

[coneycat]

When someone is upset, the *very* last thing their friends should do is tell them they have no reason to be upset. And the thing is, a lot of people would never do that to someone else--why should they do it to themselves??

"Owning" is a good way of putting it. It can also be the first step in trying to find a solution, instead of compounding your own distress by feeling bad about feeling bad.

[revelininsanity]

It can also be the first step in trying to find a solution, instead of compounding your own distress by feeling bad about feeling bad.

Exactly. My family has this thing where sometimes we just "have grief". So, we just concentrate on feeling sad for a while, until why we're sad comes up and we can fix it, you know? Why shouldn't people feel free to feel a little sad and have a nice cup of tea once in a while?

[coneycat]

It seems eminently sensible to me. Because trying to pretend Everything Is Fine only works for a while and then, in my experience, can turn on you in a big way. It's accepting it and owning it that seems like it would make things manageable.

[heleninwales]

I've noticed this "First World Problem" disclaimer too and I think your post about it is very insightful. I have also had the feeling that the people doing the disclaiming are trying to get their self-deprecation in first before someone else has a go at them for worrying about something that isn't immediately life-threatening.

The first couple of times I saw it, it seemed like a humorous throwaway remark intended to indicate that the poster did really have a sense of proportion, but the more I see it used, the more I think it's drifted away from that and is now being taken far too seriously.

[coneycat]

I have the same concern, and I hate the idea of someone feeling guilty about something like this. Especially since I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be so hard on someone else. I won't be crusading against the expression because I don't know how people are using it, but I did want to make this point one time.

[wldhrsjen3]

I <3 you.

[coneycat]

:D

[green_knight]

Thank you for this fascinating and timely article. You are wise, as always.

[coneycat]

Thank you. We sometimes need a reminder to be kind to ourselves.