Chapter 7
Nathan’s eyes were sharp and clear.
“One guest appearance, Preacher Man. You’ll have a couple lines… and I can get you a couple lines if it will help you concentrate,” Nathan smirked, oozing his treacley version of charm. “The party is going to be well Columbian, if you know what I mean.”
“I never do.”
Dan took the piece of paper from Nathan. Nathan would say stupid things and Dan would say, “So sayeth Brother Nathan.” It was an easy way to earn an expensive DJ setup. What was left of Dan’s soul couldn’t have been worth more than 5 quid, so Nathan was definitely getting ripped off in the deal. On the other hand, the absurd article in Sugar Ape had raised Dan’s profile. Sweet Jones had doted on Dan when the issue came out, as though Dan were still capable of having strong feelings about Sugar Ape. The magazine was like a horrible relative that was so tied to Dan’s life that he no longer noticed how awful it was until the holidays came around.
“I’ll do it,” Dan said, forcing the words out against every instinct. If he had any pride left to protect, he’d have a reason to hesitate, but under the current circumstances, Dan had nothing to lose.
Sugar Ape had briefly raised his profile, and it was worth it to Nathan to have Dan play his “character” at a Trashbat party. It was actually wonderful timing and very good luck. It felt like God was spitting in his face, but really, he was being offered a sweet deal.
Nathan obviously knew that, and yet he looked surprised at Dan’s easy agreement.
“You’ll wear the costume?” Nathan asked, looking entirely too surprised. Nathan could be a shrewd businessman at times, but at other times he dissolved into a child.
“Whatever you want. When can Jones have the setup?”
“He can take them home that night,” Nathan shrugged. “I don’t have room for all that junk.”
Dan held out his hand. Nathan looked confused for a moment, but then he shook Dan’s hand like a proper man of business.
Xxx
Jonas kept waiting for the meltdown, but Dan just spent the evening drinking beer and writing in his notebook. When Jonas oh-so-casually asked what Dan was writing, his flatmate scrunched his brow and looked thoughtfully into the distance.
Then he said, “I’m just trying to remember how to write.”
Jonas wasn’t sure what it meant, but it still made him smile until it was time to head to “Nowhere,” the posh “space” Nathan had rented out for the launch of his Trashbat.co.ck “Socially Transmitted Discussion” board, “Vicarious Discourse.”
Jonas had procured a free falafel on the way, and Dan compared them to Lady and the Tramp, with “Jones” as the Tramp showing Lady how to eat on the streets. Jonas’s mind went in a few directions with the comparison, but mostly it made him laugh that Dan was the Lady of the two of them.
“Why are you doing this?” Jonas finally asked, after holding it in for over a week. “Is it money? Because we’re doing all right. I can pick up some more hours at the shop…”
“No!” Dan barked.
He didn’t elaborate, and Jonas didn’t ask. Instead, he put his arm around Dan’s waist and put his head on his delightfully broad shoulder. They only walked like that for a few moments, but it felt natural and right. And Dan hadn’t thrown him off and run away. Maybe the night wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Xxx
Dan considered starting trouble at the door, but he was resigned to actually following through and holding up his end of the bargain. It was time to accept that no one was going to force him to do the right thing any more. No one was going to take Claire’s place as the angel on his shoulder, telling him to take a shower and show up for work. He’d either have to do things on his own and for himself, or remain Nathan Barley’s bitch for the rest of his life. It was time to for Dan to at least start charging a reasonable price when he sold out.
Jones hovered around him, looking concerned but not asking questions or making suggestions. He accepted Dan’s crazed response to Jones picking up more hours at the store with his usual easygoing shrug. Dan could never explain to Jones why it was so important, at least not out loud. Maybe he could write it, but he was having enough trouble turning “Rise of the Idiots” into an actual article - he couldn’t take on any other writing projects.
But it didn’t matter, because Jones didn’t need reasons. That was why Dan was willing to do anything for him. Even be the Preacher Man.
Xxx
“So sayeth Brother Nathan,” Dan mumbled into the mic. The crowd was yelling “Preacher Man” while Nathan continued with his god-awful rap. Jones looked appalled by the spectacle, and Dan took comfort in his disgust. It was good to know Dan wasn’t the only person alive with a brain in his head.
When Nathan’s “rap” was done, the crowd continued to scream for the Preacher Man. Dan stared at the crowd, baffled, until they began to quiet down. Then he asked, “What are you cheering for?”
He was greeted with blank faces.
“Trashbat is going to have a glorified chat room named after the kind of diseases that make your genitals drip puss, Nathan has done a shit excuse for a rap, and I’ve drunk away anything I ever had worth cheering for. This is a debacle. This is Rome, right before it fell. This is a vomitorium, and your false gods aren’t even made of gold. We’re Styrofoam. We fall apart quickly and yet never actually go away. We’re just turning your world into a giant landfill, and you’re cheering for it. Why?”
Ned Smanks said, “Good one, Dan.” Otherwise, he was greeted with silence, so he dropped the mic and walked off the stage.
Xxx
Dan wasn’t sure where it had come from, but he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand and he couldn’t drink it fast enough.
“Well righteous, you crazy bastard,” Nathan yelled, throwing an arm around Dan’s shoulders. Nathan was sweaty and his arm felt slimy against Dan’s neck. “I was expecting you to have some kind of breakdown and start calling everyone idiots and retards, but you really held your shit together. You’re on your way back, Preacher Dan.”
Xxx
Dan was nearly a dead weight on Jonas’s shoulder as they staggered back to the “House of Jones.” He was babbling about tables and idiots and rehab, so Jonas just kept stroking his hair and pulling his towards home.
Once they were in the flat, Dan kissed him. He pinned Jonas against the door and gave him a passionate, if slightly sloppy, kiss. He considered sending Dan to bed alone, but it had been a strange night, and Jonas wasn’t feeling up to doing anything but melting in Dan’s strong arms. It wasn’t quite a swoon, but Jonas felt like he couldn’t stand on his own for another moment. The trauma of Nathan’s DJing, his rapping, Dan’s anguished expression during his Preacher Man bit, and the effort of dragging Dan home had drained Jonas physically and emotionally.
And there was the elation at having seen Dan finally take control of a situation and turn it to his advantage. It had been beautiful to watch Dan control the room. Beautiful, and very sexy.
“You gonna run away?” Dan mumbled into Jonas’s mouth.
“No.”
Jonas didn’t give a thought to running away as Dan stripped him. He’d put a lot of effort into not thinking about Dan and his big hands and big everything while they’d lived together, because Jonas wanted to be a good guy. After the evening Dan had had, Jonas felt he could make his own decisions.
“Chirst,” Dan murmured as he removed Jonas’s rather tiny red pants.
“S’that a good or a bad ‘Christ’?” Jonas asked.
Dan held up the small pants.
“On you, it’s good.”
Jonas felt oddly flattered. Dan toyed with Jonas’s hair, specifically the streaks of blue he’d just had done, and smiled.
“It all looks good on you.”
Jonas wanted to tell Dan that being a scraggly tramp and a misanthrope and a drunk and everything looked good on Dan. Everything. But he didn’t have the words to express his universal admiration without sounding like another idiot who romanticized Dan’s problems.
Jonas just loved Dan Ashcroft.
Dan was still fully dressed when they headed into Jonas’s bedroom. Jonas tried pulling at Dan’s Preacher Man costume, but Dan was a man on a mission. Jonas was on his back before he’d managed to get an inch of Dan’s skin exposed.
Dan had been clean-shaven the last time they’d gotten off. Dan’s neatly trimmed beard scratched on his sensitive skin, causing tiny red welts to form.
“I think you’re allergic to me,” Dan observed.
“Just delicate,” Jonas assured him. “Like fine china or some shit.”
Dan pressed a series of kisses into Jonas’s hips and mumbled something about the marks being symbolic. Jonas agreed; Dan always managed to leave a mark on Jonas where no one else could.
“I’m highly toxic,” Dan slurred with a sardonic smile. “Bad for your health.”
Dan made Jonas want to be a better person. He wanted to be stronger and braver and more talented. He felt like he was finally living his life instead of waiting for it to begin.
“Thank you for getting the set-up for me,” Jonas said, not for the first time that night. “It’s genius. You’ve done so much for me.”
Dan silenced him, rather aggressively, with a kiss. Jonas ground his hips into Dan’s, feeling like a horny teenager again, or at least like someone on Ecstasy. He’d stayed clean all night in case there was a disaster, so it was only Dan who was clouding his senses. Dan felt solid and strong and amazingly familiar as he kissed Jonas’s chest and stomach, despite the seven years since their last sexual encounter (and Dan being dressed as a man of the cloth). Dan began to finger and stretch him as he sucked Jonas’s cock. It wasn’t long before Jonas was begging Dan to fuck him. Jonas loved when Dan looked smug; it was such a change from his usual self-doubt. Dan looked confident and at ease as he pulled Jonas’s legs over his shoulders, pulled his own trousers and pants out of the way and slid himself inside. It had been a while for Jonas, and it was an effort to relax, but Jonas couldn’t stop moving and trying to get Dan deeper, faster.
“Fucking hell,” Dan moaned. Jones smiled and squeezed his muscles around Dan’s cock until he moaned again. “
Dan would have made a good proper male prostitute. Jonas had had his share of lovers over the years, but Dan always stuck out as the most exciting. It wasn’t any particular skill or attribute (though he had many worth mentioning), but Dan made sex feel like something significant. Jonas had been at a Sugar Ape party in hopes of being in the right place and among the right people, but the only time he’d really felt like he was in the right place at the right time was when he was getting shagged by Dan in a bathroom.
Jonas stroked and pulled at Dan’s still too-long hair and covered his face with kisses. He’d never been with Dan face to face, and it added a new layer of intensity to look into Dan’s eyes instead of just seeing them reflected in a mirror. Up close, it was easier to see the small twitches and eye shifts that showed he was nowhere near as composed and focused as he seemed. The first time, it had been Dan’s hand on his own, rather than Dan’s cock in his arse, that had made Jonas feel like he was connected to Dan.
If Jonas were better with words, he might have made a flowery speech, but he settled for, “Fucking hell, Dan. Don’t ever stop.”
Dan gave a warm chuckle and did his best to make Jonas lose his mind before he finally came on Dan’s Preacher Man costume.
“Hope Nathan doesn’t mind there’s a bit of spunk on his costume,” Jonas laughed, using his red pants to try and clean Dan up.
Dan shrugged. “Knowing Nathan, there’s probably some spunk on the tables, so we’ll call it even.”
Dan finally chucked his clothes and he and Jonas crawled under the sheets together. Jonas rested his head on Dan’s broad chest and waited to be chased away. Instead, Dan wrapped him up in a warm hug and kissed the top of his head.
“You don’t have to do this,” Jonas said as his eyes grew heavy. “You don’t have to be my boyfriend or nothing to stay here.”
“Shut up, Jones,” Dan ordered. “Just let me be good at something.”
Jonas wanted to argue, but he knew it was in vain. Instead, he snuggled into Dan and fell asleep.
“One guest appearance, Preacher Man. You’ll have a couple lines… and I can get you a couple lines if it will help you concentrate,” Nathan smirked, oozing his treacley version of charm. “The party is going to be well Columbian, if you know what I mean.”
“I never do.”
Dan took the piece of paper from Nathan. Nathan would say stupid things and Dan would say, “So sayeth Brother Nathan.” It was an easy way to earn an expensive DJ setup. What was left of Dan’s soul couldn’t have been worth more than 5 quid, so Nathan was definitely getting ripped off in the deal. On the other hand, the absurd article in Sugar Ape had raised Dan’s profile. Sweet Jones had doted on Dan when the issue came out, as though Dan were still capable of having strong feelings about Sugar Ape. The magazine was like a horrible relative that was so tied to Dan’s life that he no longer noticed how awful it was until the holidays came around.
“I’ll do it,” Dan said, forcing the words out against every instinct. If he had any pride left to protect, he’d have a reason to hesitate, but under the current circumstances, Dan had nothing to lose.
Sugar Ape had briefly raised his profile, and it was worth it to Nathan to have Dan play his “character” at a Trashbat party. It was actually wonderful timing and very good luck. It felt like God was spitting in his face, but really, he was being offered a sweet deal.
Nathan obviously knew that, and yet he looked surprised at Dan’s easy agreement.
“You’ll wear the costume?” Nathan asked, looking entirely too surprised. Nathan could be a shrewd businessman at times, but at other times he dissolved into a child.
“Whatever you want. When can Jones have the setup?”
“He can take them home that night,” Nathan shrugged. “I don’t have room for all that junk.”
Dan held out his hand. Nathan looked confused for a moment, but then he shook Dan’s hand like a proper man of business.
Xxx
Jonas kept waiting for the meltdown, but Dan just spent the evening drinking beer and writing in his notebook. When Jonas oh-so-casually asked what Dan was writing, his flatmate scrunched his brow and looked thoughtfully into the distance.
Then he said, “I’m just trying to remember how to write.”
Jonas wasn’t sure what it meant, but it still made him smile until it was time to head to “Nowhere,” the posh “space” Nathan had rented out for the launch of his Trashbat.co.ck “Socially Transmitted Discussion” board, “Vicarious Discourse.”
Jonas had procured a free falafel on the way, and Dan compared them to Lady and the Tramp, with “Jones” as the Tramp showing Lady how to eat on the streets. Jonas’s mind went in a few directions with the comparison, but mostly it made him laugh that Dan was the Lady of the two of them.
“Why are you doing this?” Jonas finally asked, after holding it in for over a week. “Is it money? Because we’re doing all right. I can pick up some more hours at the shop…”
“No!” Dan barked.
He didn’t elaborate, and Jonas didn’t ask. Instead, he put his arm around Dan’s waist and put his head on his delightfully broad shoulder. They only walked like that for a few moments, but it felt natural and right. And Dan hadn’t thrown him off and run away. Maybe the night wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Xxx
Dan considered starting trouble at the door, but he was resigned to actually following through and holding up his end of the bargain. It was time to accept that no one was going to force him to do the right thing any more. No one was going to take Claire’s place as the angel on his shoulder, telling him to take a shower and show up for work. He’d either have to do things on his own and for himself, or remain Nathan Barley’s bitch for the rest of his life. It was time to for Dan to at least start charging a reasonable price when he sold out.
Jones hovered around him, looking concerned but not asking questions or making suggestions. He accepted Dan’s crazed response to Jones picking up more hours at the store with his usual easygoing shrug. Dan could never explain to Jones why it was so important, at least not out loud. Maybe he could write it, but he was having enough trouble turning “Rise of the Idiots” into an actual article - he couldn’t take on any other writing projects.
But it didn’t matter, because Jones didn’t need reasons. That was why Dan was willing to do anything for him. Even be the Preacher Man.
Xxx
“So sayeth Brother Nathan,” Dan mumbled into the mic. The crowd was yelling “Preacher Man” while Nathan continued with his god-awful rap. Jones looked appalled by the spectacle, and Dan took comfort in his disgust. It was good to know Dan wasn’t the only person alive with a brain in his head.
When Nathan’s “rap” was done, the crowd continued to scream for the Preacher Man. Dan stared at the crowd, baffled, until they began to quiet down. Then he asked, “What are you cheering for?”
He was greeted with blank faces.
“Trashbat is going to have a glorified chat room named after the kind of diseases that make your genitals drip puss, Nathan has done a shit excuse for a rap, and I’ve drunk away anything I ever had worth cheering for. This is a debacle. This is Rome, right before it fell. This is a vomitorium, and your false gods aren’t even made of gold. We’re Styrofoam. We fall apart quickly and yet never actually go away. We’re just turning your world into a giant landfill, and you’re cheering for it. Why?”
Ned Smanks said, “Good one, Dan.” Otherwise, he was greeted with silence, so he dropped the mic and walked off the stage.
Xxx
Dan wasn’t sure where it had come from, but he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand and he couldn’t drink it fast enough.
“Well righteous, you crazy bastard,” Nathan yelled, throwing an arm around Dan’s shoulders. Nathan was sweaty and his arm felt slimy against Dan’s neck. “I was expecting you to have some kind of breakdown and start calling everyone idiots and retards, but you really held your shit together. You’re on your way back, Preacher Dan.”
Xxx
Dan was nearly a dead weight on Jonas’s shoulder as they staggered back to the “House of Jones.” He was babbling about tables and idiots and rehab, so Jonas just kept stroking his hair and pulling his towards home.
Once they were in the flat, Dan kissed him. He pinned Jonas against the door and gave him a passionate, if slightly sloppy, kiss. He considered sending Dan to bed alone, but it had been a strange night, and Jonas wasn’t feeling up to doing anything but melting in Dan’s strong arms. It wasn’t quite a swoon, but Jonas felt like he couldn’t stand on his own for another moment. The trauma of Nathan’s DJing, his rapping, Dan’s anguished expression during his Preacher Man bit, and the effort of dragging Dan home had drained Jonas physically and emotionally.
And there was the elation at having seen Dan finally take control of a situation and turn it to his advantage. It had been beautiful to watch Dan control the room. Beautiful, and very sexy.
“You gonna run away?” Dan mumbled into Jonas’s mouth.
“No.”
Jonas didn’t give a thought to running away as Dan stripped him. He’d put a lot of effort into not thinking about Dan and his big hands and big everything while they’d lived together, because Jonas wanted to be a good guy. After the evening Dan had had, Jonas felt he could make his own decisions.
“Chirst,” Dan murmured as he removed Jonas’s rather tiny red pants.
“S’that a good or a bad ‘Christ’?” Jonas asked.
Dan held up the small pants.
“On you, it’s good.”
Jonas felt oddly flattered. Dan toyed with Jonas’s hair, specifically the streaks of blue he’d just had done, and smiled.
“It all looks good on you.”
Jonas wanted to tell Dan that being a scraggly tramp and a misanthrope and a drunk and everything looked good on Dan. Everything. But he didn’t have the words to express his universal admiration without sounding like another idiot who romanticized Dan’s problems.
Jonas just loved Dan Ashcroft.
Dan was still fully dressed when they headed into Jonas’s bedroom. Jonas tried pulling at Dan’s Preacher Man costume, but Dan was a man on a mission. Jonas was on his back before he’d managed to get an inch of Dan’s skin exposed.
Dan had been clean-shaven the last time they’d gotten off. Dan’s neatly trimmed beard scratched on his sensitive skin, causing tiny red welts to form.
“I think you’re allergic to me,” Dan observed.
“Just delicate,” Jonas assured him. “Like fine china or some shit.”
Dan pressed a series of kisses into Jonas’s hips and mumbled something about the marks being symbolic. Jonas agreed; Dan always managed to leave a mark on Jonas where no one else could.
“I’m highly toxic,” Dan slurred with a sardonic smile. “Bad for your health.”
Dan made Jonas want to be a better person. He wanted to be stronger and braver and more talented. He felt like he was finally living his life instead of waiting for it to begin.
“Thank you for getting the set-up for me,” Jonas said, not for the first time that night. “It’s genius. You’ve done so much for me.”
Dan silenced him, rather aggressively, with a kiss. Jonas ground his hips into Dan’s, feeling like a horny teenager again, or at least like someone on Ecstasy. He’d stayed clean all night in case there was a disaster, so it was only Dan who was clouding his senses. Dan felt solid and strong and amazingly familiar as he kissed Jonas’s chest and stomach, despite the seven years since their last sexual encounter (and Dan being dressed as a man of the cloth). Dan began to finger and stretch him as he sucked Jonas’s cock. It wasn’t long before Jonas was begging Dan to fuck him. Jonas loved when Dan looked smug; it was such a change from his usual self-doubt. Dan looked confident and at ease as he pulled Jonas’s legs over his shoulders, pulled his own trousers and pants out of the way and slid himself inside. It had been a while for Jonas, and it was an effort to relax, but Jonas couldn’t stop moving and trying to get Dan deeper, faster.
“Fucking hell,” Dan moaned. Jones smiled and squeezed his muscles around Dan’s cock until he moaned again. “
Dan would have made a good proper male prostitute. Jonas had had his share of lovers over the years, but Dan always stuck out as the most exciting. It wasn’t any particular skill or attribute (though he had many worth mentioning), but Dan made sex feel like something significant. Jonas had been at a Sugar Ape party in hopes of being in the right place and among the right people, but the only time he’d really felt like he was in the right place at the right time was when he was getting shagged by Dan in a bathroom.
Jonas stroked and pulled at Dan’s still too-long hair and covered his face with kisses. He’d never been with Dan face to face, and it added a new layer of intensity to look into Dan’s eyes instead of just seeing them reflected in a mirror. Up close, it was easier to see the small twitches and eye shifts that showed he was nowhere near as composed and focused as he seemed. The first time, it had been Dan’s hand on his own, rather than Dan’s cock in his arse, that had made Jonas feel like he was connected to Dan.
If Jonas were better with words, he might have made a flowery speech, but he settled for, “Fucking hell, Dan. Don’t ever stop.”
Dan gave a warm chuckle and did his best to make Jonas lose his mind before he finally came on Dan’s Preacher Man costume.
“Hope Nathan doesn’t mind there’s a bit of spunk on his costume,” Jonas laughed, using his red pants to try and clean Dan up.
Dan shrugged. “Knowing Nathan, there’s probably some spunk on the tables, so we’ll call it even.”
Dan finally chucked his clothes and he and Jonas crawled under the sheets together. Jonas rested his head on Dan’s broad chest and waited to be chased away. Instead, Dan wrapped him up in a warm hug and kissed the top of his head.
“You don’t have to do this,” Jonas said as his eyes grew heavy. “You don’t have to be my boyfriend or nothing to stay here.”
“Shut up, Jones,” Dan ordered. “Just let me be good at something.”
Jonas wanted to argue, but he knew it was in vain. Instead, he snuggled into Dan and fell asleep.