XD I never really get to write a "mysterious" character that often so writing Arthur like this is just so fun! And I'm glad you think the structure works, that's the thing I always worry about most~
His memory about when he first met Gilbert and Antonio and...oh my god. I love these three and it's like I can actually feel how painful it is to remember them because I know what's going to happen in the future. ;~;
I have a cold so I apologize for a half assed comment D:
Going on--I saw what I think where a few mistakes in the story. For one, when Francis was meeting Gilbert and Antonio, he oddly already knows Antonio's name before he even mentions it. Although it's a flashback, I think it would still apply that Francis "has just met them." You repeat this small mistake only twice, so a little editing will make it better I'm sure c: You don't have to do so now if you don't wish to of course.
But my critique doesn't change the fact that I like this story. I honestly believe that the whole shabang of it will be worth wait and reading c:
Looking over that one part, Gilbert says Antonio's name... I just assumed that Francis would guess that was his name... But, thanks for pointing that out.
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I kinda needed this I've been working on my essay for 5 hours, best way to spend a break ;w;
(I think I'd read that story about those three... just saying *not hinting at anything. Nope, not at all XD)
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Francis... ;A;
His memory about when he first met Gilbert and Antonio and...oh my god. I love these three and it's like I can actually feel how painful it is to remember them because I know what's going to happen in the future. ;~;
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Can't wait to read more on Arthur as well! Keep up the good work!
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Going on--I saw what I think where a few mistakes in the story. For one, when Francis was meeting Gilbert and Antonio, he oddly already knows Antonio's name before he even mentions it. Although it's a flashback, I think it would still apply that Francis "has just met them." You repeat this small mistake only twice, so a little editing will make it better I'm sure c: You don't have to do so now if you don't wish to of course.
But my critique doesn't change the fact that I like this story. I honestly believe that the whole shabang of it will be worth wait and reading c:
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Looking over that one part, Gilbert says Antonio's name... I just assumed that Francis would guess that was his name... But, thanks for pointing that out.
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