Monday: Figurative Language

[nevcolleil]

Good morning, dears :D I'm nevcolleil, and I'll be your guest host this week. Today is Monday and your prompt for the day is figurative language.
Sayings, expressions, comparisons... (And, if you can dig the Language Arts lingo, metaphors and similes. Heck, throw in some kennings if the fancy strikes you!)

Examples:

Any, any, "I didn't mean it literally

Comments

FILL

[nevcolleil]

The law of averages has rarely led Barney astray. If, say, the average stewardess has shown a tendency to fall for a particular play out of Barney's playbook (and she has) then it stands to reason that all stewardesses will show a similar susceptibility to said play.

And it's not like Barney hasn't walked up to their table before to find the gang discussing one of his conquests.

In fact, it's not like Barney hasn't walked up to their table before, found the gang discussing one of his conquests, and had this exact same conversation.

Barney remembers it clearly. Marshall was regaling the table with tale of how Barney had caught one of GNB's primary vendors padding her profit margin.

"You should have seen her face when Barney nailed her!" Marshall said, uncharacteristically cheerful in the failure of a fellow human being. (Not that Barney could blame him. For being extremely hot and - Barney would later learn - remarkably bendy, the aforementioned vendor was really a very unpleasant person

Re: FILL

[strongwriter]

This is so many degrees of perfect/hilarious/amazing I can't even comprehend it. THANK YOU

[nevcolleil]

I'm glad you like it :) Thanks! (And what a pretty icon you have! :)