blaine anderson is a picture whore//kurt+blaine, pg-13
title; Blaine Anderson is a Picture Whore
rating; pg-13
word count; 4,200
pairing; kurt/blaine, mentions of gleeks and warblers
disclaimer; i do not own any of these characters. just borrowing them, no infringement intended
warnings; fluff. Honestly, lots of fluff. But no, no warnings really.
summary; the one wherein Kurt goes through his iphone photo gallery and Blaine Anderson is a picture whore who just cannot keep a straight face.
a/n; this was inspired by the recent warbler album outtakes because man, they were GOLD and also by Darren’s face. Seriously, it’s like every single picture I see of him has something unique about it-very rarely do I come across standard posed photos. He’s always such a dork with the winking and pouting and general goofy face making. Like most of my fics, this got way out of hand but it was immensely fun writing it and gave me the pick me up I needed after a crappy few days.
“Is there a single picture of yours that doesn’t include you making the most ridiculous faces ever?” Kurt asks with a heavy sigh. Blaine hums distractedly from where he’s lying in his lap as Kurt continues to flick through his iphone. “I mean, seriously, Blaine. Would it kill you to keep a straight face for at least one photo?”
“What’re you talking about? I have plenty of straight faced photos.” Blaine mumbles defensively but he doesn’t open his eyes and continues to rub his cheek against Kurt’s denim clad thigh.
“Well if you do then they must be on your phone because these...” he swipes at his screen and shakes his head at a photo of Blaine flopping his tongue out like a dog’s, eyebrows raised in two perfect triangular arches, “you look like a clown in all of these.”
“You love me.” Blaine teases and Kurt can feel his smile when he presses a kiss to his knee.
“Well, yes-” he agrees offhandedly as he reaches to thread his fingers in Blaine’s hair with the hand that’s not holding his phone. “But it would be nice to be able to show people a picture of my boyfriend without them thinking you’re a nut job.” he tugs lightly at Blaine’s curls-still damp from their evening swimming in the Hudmel pool. “You’ve been using the conditioner I got you haven’t you?”
Blaine tilts his head back against Kurt’s fingers as he tugs again, “Mm-hmm.”
“It’s doing wonders for your hair. All that gel...” Kurt shudders a little. “You’d have been bald before you were thirty.”
“I’d still look fabulous.” Blaine says with a shrug.
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Kurt replies even though he’s smiling. He continues to play absently with Blaine’s hair as he makes his way through the rest of his photos one by one. He’s usually really particular about keeping his photo gallery organized. He’s not one to keep year old photos on his phone. Typically they’re transferred to his computer the night after they’re taken and he sorts through them-keeping what he likes and deleting the rest. But before Blaine, his pictures didn’t have a lot of variety in them. They’d consisted of random shots of him and Mercedes hanging out or some glee club group shots and the occasional photographic nature frames for when Kurt felt creative.
It’s been a while since Kurt’s sat down and organized his photos-not since Nationals in New York and that alone had been enough to take up the 8gb on his phone because he’d gone mad taking photos every chance he got. Even with the New York pictures transferred on to his computer, his iphone is still chalk full of the wildest pictures in the history of its existence. Which is understandable given that it’s summer and Kurt has a boyfriend who is over enthusiastic about getting his picture taken-seriously, Blaine is a picture whore.
He’s not even joking. He’s pretty sure 90% of the photos are of Blaine. He’ll butt into shots that are not even about him. Like that group shot of the girls in the park which would have been really nice if Blaine hadn’t bounded in last minute yelling ‘wait for me! me too!’ and ruined the moment with his crazy expression, face sweating from the game of football he’d been playing with the guys. He does that a lot--shows up right at the moment the camera is about to click with crazy facial expressions or his arms thrown out as if hugging the camera inevitably blocking someone from view.
And then there are the Blaine and furniture pictures-Blaineture pictures as Mercedes and Tina refer to them (Kurt can handle them referring to him and Blaine as ‘Klaine’ because the glee club is incapable of not mashing up couple names-but really, Blaineture?) Blaine has the adorably annoying habit of jumping on furniture a lot. Carole nearly fainted when she came home and found Blaine standing on their coffee table, playing guitar hero with Finn as Kurt sat on the sofa with his face buried in his hands. Kurt hadn’t let Blaine in his room for three days after he came back from his shower to find Blaine jumping on his mattress like it was a trampoline. He’s sure Blaine has jumped on every single chair and table in the Dalton common rooms during his Warbler performances. It’s just like, a thing for him. Kurt teases him about it sometimes, saying how it has to do with a height complex but really, he thinks Blaine just likes the added attention when he’s a good two or three heads above everyone else.
Because he’s also an attention whore.
“Honestly, why do I love you?” Kurt thinks aloud.
“Becausemwsome,” Blaine mumbles.
It all comes back to the fact that Kurt’s phone is overflowing with pictures. And it helps that he has friends that are desperate to take the most unflattering pictures of each other even if it means clicking picture after picture until there’s one where someone’s shooting iced latte out of their nose mid-laughter or something.
And there are unflattering pictures-quite a lot of them actually. Kurt suspects Santana’s involvement in a lot of them, especially when he comes across a rather dark shot that features him and Blaine in the midst of what is clearly a passionate kiss.
“I don’t remember this,” he says, staring thoughtfully at his phone.
“’ember what?” Blaine asks, his voice thick.
“This...look.” Blaine opens his eyes reluctantly and Kurt shows him his phone. “We usually keep that level of passion for when we’re alone.”
“You mean for when we’re alone like we are right now?” he grins suggestively, sitting up slowly and Kurt rolls his eyes but he doesn’t resist when Blaine moves to straddle his lap.
They forget about the picture for a little while; Blaine’s lips and tongue and hands a delicious distraction.
“But no, really-” Kurt says when they’re forced to break the kiss for air. He’s panting a little and Blaine’s lips sucking at a particularly sensitive spot under his chin aren’t helping his breathing in the least. “When was that? And most importantly, who gave my phone to Santana?”
“How do you know it was Santana?” Blaine asks against his skin, now kissing a trail down the side of Kurt’s neck.
“Because she’s the only one who’d take pictures of us when we’re making out-oh. That feels good,” He licks his lips and tilts his head back, exposing more skin for Blaine to kiss along.
“Really? Because I’m pretty sure Lauren and Puck were betting on who tops in this relationship.”
“WHAT?!”
Blaine laughs; “Like you’d expect anything less from Puck?” he pulls aside the material of Kurt’s t-shirt to press a kiss to his shoulder.
“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m surprised.” Kurt replies, half disgusted, half awed because of course Puck would be fascinated by the sexual dynamics of his relationship with Blaine.
“Or it could have been Rachel,” Blaine muses, moving back up to kiss Kurt’s jaw.
“No,” Kurt says, running his hands down Blaine’s back as his boyfriend gently rolls Kurt’s earlobe between his teeth. “Rachel and Finn are practically glued to each other these days. They’re competing with Tina and Mike for the most sickeningly exhibitionist couple.”
“They’re not that bad.” Blaine says softly, moving on to Kurt’s other ear.
“You’d say differently if you’d seen them going at it in the kitchen at Santana’s barbeque last week.” Kurt shakes his head at the memory. “Rachel should not be allowed to kiss when she’s drunk.”
Blaine pulls back and Kurt groans at the loss of contact, clutching at air, trying to get Blaine’s lips back on his skin before he catches the guilty look on Blaine’s face and-oh. Right. Kurt still can’t think of that game of spin the bottle without something tight coiling in his stomach. Apparently, Blaine can’t think of it without feeling ashamed (which Kurt selfishly feels is appropriate) “You know what? Scratch that. Rachel should not be allowed to get drunk, period.”
Blaine smiles as Kurt tugs him down for a rough kiss.
“Wait-that’s it!” Kurt exclaims, breaking the kiss so suddenly Blaine collapses on top of him with surprise. “Ow, Blaine, get off!”
“What the hell?” Blaine grumbles as Kurt shoves at him. He rolls on to his back as Kurt sits up and reaches over him for where his phone lies forgotten on the bed.
“This picture was taken at Santana’s barbeque!” he explains and sure enough, a closer look shows the familiar walls of Santana’s house in the background.
“That would explain the level of passion,” Blaine says with a nod, scooting closer to Kurt. “We were drunk.”
“I wasn’t drunk. I had like, two glasses of punch.” Kurt says defensively.
“In other words, you were drunk.”
Kurt narrows his eyes at Blaine but he can’t argue because that vodka had been strong and come to think of it, Kurt really shouldn’t have trusted Puck not to spike the drinks.
“I’m going to get back at her for this,” he says.
“I don’t see the harm done, it’s a hot picture.” Blaine grins beside him and Kurt can’t help but smile as he looks from Blaine to the picture on his phone. He feels a sudden wave of that giddy feeling he gets sometimes as he realizes that this is real. He has a boyfriend and he has a picture of himself kissing said boyfriend at a party with his friends and it’s so much more than he’d ever expected to be able to do this point last year.
“Doesn’t change the fact that all my friends are perverts,” He sighs.
“You’re just lucky she didn’t catch me blowing you in the backseat of your car later that night.”
Kurt’s eyes widen, “Wait, you did what?”
“You don’t remember?” Blaine asks, frowning, “we went to your car...started making out and then I said I really wanted to--” he shrugs, “Oh well, must’ve been because you were drunk.”
Kurt stares at him horrified, partly because he can’t believe he could ever be drunk enough to forget something like Blaine giving him a blowjob in the backseat of his car and partly because Blaine gave him a blowjob in THE BACKSEAT OF HIS CAR!
Blaine bursts out laughing a split second later. “I’m kidding Kur-OW!” because Kurt punches him hard enough for Blaine to double back on the bed. “What was that for?!” he asks, sitting up and rubbing his arm.
“You owe me a blowjob.” Kurt says, turning back to his phone.
Blaine grins and a split second later, Kurt feels his finger dance along the hem of his t-shirt. “How’d you feel if I paid you back right now? You know, now that we’ve got your mystery picture solved, and everything.”
But Kurt is now flicking through pictures again and as tempting as the brush of Blaine’s fingers on his stomach are, the pictures are too entertaining to turn away from.
Among the plethora of blurry shots that were probably taken when everyone was too busy laughing to keep their hands steady and completely random shots of the glee kids doing all kinds of things from dunking Sam in the Hudmel pool to Lord Tubbington and Tina posing wearing matching, large hats-there are photos of Brittany in nothing but her lacy red bra which would have passed as sexy if not for her half opened eyes which make her look oddly like a stripper zombie, and close ups of Rachel’s nose and a million-literally, a million different brands of Blaine-crazy.
“Oh my god, my boyfriend really is a nut job,” Kurt groans in mock horror.
“I’m not that bad,” Blaine says, giving up on trying to get Kurt to make out and instead settling for a cuddle. He hooks a leg under Kurt’s, tangling their feet and presses closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s stomach and resting his head on his shoulder.
“Really? Because I would call this pretty bad,” Kurt says, tilting the phone at an angle so Blaine can see the ridiculousness on his phone that is him in a variety of poses.
There’s Blaine winking and saluting the camera, Blaine with a massive pout on his face as he tries to balance himself on one foot, Blaine caught mid air in a jump pretending to fly, Blaine pretending to be choked to death with his Dalton tie...there are about twelve pictures of him posing with different coloured sunglasses, another five of him using his guitar as a sword, a gun, a knife to his gut (that one also features a disapproving Quinn in the background)...the list is endless and the funny part is, a lot of the photos seem to have been taken by Blaine himself.
“You are obsessed with your face.” Kurt comments.
“It’s one good lookin’ face,” Blaine agrees with a nod.
“And you are full of yourself too, did I mention?”
“Like you’re not?” Blaine retorts and perhaps it’s sheer coincidence that a photo of Blaine and Kurt posing as models chooses to appear right that second. They stare at it for a while and Kurt has to admit, as crazy as the picture is what with Blaine’s attempt at smouldering eyes and jutted hip and Kurt’s bent knees and slightly hollowed jaw, they look pretty good.
But he only gives a vague, “Hmph,” before flicking to the next photo.
They go through a few random, uninteresting shots until a collection of photos with both him and Blaine start up. The first are pretty basic; most of them seem to be taken by their friends and show them with their arms around each other, smiling at the camera (even though Blaine’s smiles are wide enough to show all his teeth and reduce his eyes to small barely-there crinkles), a few of them have other glee kids or warblers in it. Then come the more intimate shots both together and separate; there are those which have one half of their faces cut off because the angle hadn’t been right, photos that Kurt had been posing for solo but Blaine out of sheer habit had turned up last second with a tackle hug and the picture ended up a blur of Blaine’s grinning face, lips pressed Kurt’s cheek as Kurt swayed in surprise, eyes squeezed shut and grinning widely.
There are a lot of pictures of Blaine sleeping which Kurt takes full credit for because he absolutely loves watching Blaine sleep. There’s one of him sleeping in Kurt’s lap, his arms squeezed around Kurt’s waist. His face is barely visible beneath the mop of his wild hair but it’s unmistakably him.
“You know you spend an awful lot of our time together sleeping in my lap,” Kurt says.
“Well you have a very comfortable lap,” Blaine replies, nudging Kurt’s chin with his nose in a silent request. Kurt gives in to his plea for a kiss but pulls away quickly and turns back to his phone.
There are a few solo shots of Kurt taken by Blaine. Nothing special, in fact they’re kind of pointless because Kurt is either half way through a sentence or sucking brownie batter off the tip of his finger or bent over a notebook-a look of intense concentration on his face or the picture is ruined by the blur of his gesticulating hand as the other grips the wheel when he drives but it’s the thought of Blaine taking these pictures of him in the simplest of moments just because he feels like it or because-as Blaine tells him-he thinks Kurt looks exceptionally beautiful, makes Kurt view them with a different warmth altogether.
“Okay, so maybe they’re not all bad...” he says in a soft voice, his thumb paused over a close up of him and Blaine. He can’t be sure who took it because it isn’t anything racy that would point all suspicion towards Santana. It’s just a simple picture of Blaine nuzzling Kurt’s neck as Kurt turns towards him, eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips.
“See?” Blaine says triumphantly. “I told you they’re not all bad!”
As if to challenge his words, the next shot is of Blaine yelling in Kurt’s ears. Kurt’s expression is one of genuine shock-his eyes blown wide and mouth open in a startled yelp.
“Oh my god, that was hilarious!” Blaine says excitedly. “Your face Kurt, look at your face!”
“You snuck up behind me and screamed in my ear, Blaine.” Kurt says flatly, “I was bound to freak out.”
“It was Rachel’s idea.” Blaine says in his defence. “But it was still so much fun.”
“I’m sure,” Kurt says icily. He still hasn’t forgiven Blaine for that particular prank. Yelling “DO YOU THINK IM SEXY?!” in his ear while Kurt had been trying to focus on the opening number for a scene to Pip, Pip, Hooray had been anything but fun.
“Mercedes was filming a video from behind a bush. You need to see your reaction, seriously. It was hilarious.”
“I slapped you as a reflex a millisecond later,” Kurt says with a frown.
“Exactly!” Blaine says with a wide grin that suggests getting slapped was all he could ever hope for as a reaction. “And then you realized what you’d done and you hugged me breathless for a full five minutes as an apology and kept kissing my cheek throughout the evening.”
“It was red...I mean, I hadn’t meant to hurt you,” Kurt mumbles. “But you deserved it. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“The video, come on...” Blaine urges trying to grab the phone out of his hands.
“Alright, alright. Oh my god, you’re worse than an eight year old on crack sometimes.”
He browses through frames until he comes across the video Blaine mentioned. Most of the beginning is out of focus with Blaine asking “ready? Make sure you get this on camera.”
“Go on white boy, I got this,” Mercedes replies.
He sees a brief close up of Blaine giving her the thumbs up and hears Rachel squeal “this is going to be so much fun,” before the camera steadies and brings Kurt into focus. He’s sitting on a garden chair in Rachel’s backyard, tapping his pen impatiently on his notebook. Blaine sneaks up behind him, constantly shooting thumbs up to the camera as he goes but before he reaches Kurt, the video ends.
“What? No, come on!” Blaine exclaims.
“I think she stopped vidcam and switched to camera.” Kurt says and sure enough, the next video they find continues a split moment after Kurt has slapped Blaine-his hand is still hanging in mid air.
“Oh my god!” Kurt says in horror when he turns and sees Blaine standing with a hand cupping his cheek and Rachel bursts into loud laughter and the camera shakes as Mercedes stands up and starts walking over to them.
“Ow, ow, fucking ow!” Blaine says even though he’s grinning.
“Oh my g-Blaine I am so sorry!” Kurt says, dropping his pen and standing up. “I didn’t know it was you-what the hell were you doing-aw crap, I’m sorry!” he pulls Blaine into a tight hug. He continues to babble a mixture of apologies and curses as he hugs him but Kurt can’t make out what he’s saying over the loud roar of Mercedes and Rachel’s laughter. Mercedes films Blaine face resting happily on Kurt’s shoulder and he winks at her, flashing another thumbs up before hugging Kurt back and sniffling a little.
The video ends with Kurt pulling back and pressing his lips long and hard to Blaine’s cheek as the girls fall into a chorus of aw’s.
“You kind of stole the moment,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “I was supposed to be angry at you.”
“You slapped me.” Blaine says, “I think you got your revenge.”
They continue to relive memories as they make their way through more photos and the occasional videos. Blaine goes crazy when he sees the pictures from the Warbler’s Summer Bash that Wes had thrown.
“I don’t get what you’re so excited about,” Kurt says. “You had to wear your uniforms to a party. Outside of school. During summer holidays. I’m lucky Wes didn’t ask me to wear my old Dalton blazer, I would have died in this heat.”
“It’s traditional to wear uniforms for the first official Warbler party of the summer.” Blaine says with a shrug, “And besides, it’s not like you dress for the heat-how do you not suffocate in those skin tight jeans? Would it kill you to switch them up for a pair of shorts once in a while?” he asks, the heel of his foot dragging along Kurt’s calf emphasizing his point. “Ooh, I love that one!” he says suddenly, halting Kurt’s swiping thumb.
It’s a picture of Kurt standing with his arms crossed looking like he’s trying really hard to ignore Blaine beside him who is attempting in vain to get Kurt to dance; his knees are bent and arms pumped out in front of his chest.
“It looks like you’re humping my thigh.” Kurt says, tilting his head and looking at the photo more closely.
Blaine gives a low chuckle and presses a kiss to the spot at the back of Kurt’s ear before resting his head on his shoulder again. “It worked though.” He says, “In the end? You danced didn’t you?”
“I did,” Kurt agrees, “Until Thad bust out his moves. It’s a miracle no one died.”
Blaine laughs and Kurt continues to flick through pictures.
“Aw, man. These are some pretty awesome memories.” Blaine says, sighing.
“They’re not even a month old, Blaine.” Kurt says, fighting the urge to laugh at Blaine’s heavy nostalgic tone.
“Yeah but...I mean,” his foot resumes stroking up and down Kurt’s leg, “Think about it. You’re my first boyfriend. I’m you’re first boyfriend; every picture of us kissing, hugging, dancing with each other-whatever. They’re all of our first summer with each other and out first summer with our first boyfriend.”
“That’s an awful lot of ‘firsts’ in one sentence,” Kurt says but Blaine’s words have hit that spot within him-the same one that made him feel giddy all over a while ago.
“When we look back at these pictures five, ten, twenty years from now on, we’re going to remember this time and laugh about how stupid we look and how brilliantly ingenious we thought we were when we decided to duct tape Finn to the floor in his sleep and told him the house was burning down.” Kurt smiles, his throat constricting now because-did Blaine just really say they were still going to be together after twenty years?
“I love you,” Blaine says simply.
“I love you too.” Kurt replies instantly.
In a movie, this would be the moment where they kiss and it would probably lead to awesome, passionate I love you sex, but instead they just hug. Or more like Blaine buries his face in Kurt’s neck and Kurt turns his face and kisses the wild curls of Blaine’s head and they just sort of hold each other close for a while without saying anything until--
“OH MY GOD, YOU DIDN’T!”
“What, what’d I do?” Blaine asks, jerking away from Kurt and holding his hands up as if giving a peace offering.
Kurt’s thumb had slipped while hugging Blaine and the picture had slid forward to reveal one of Blaine, Finn and Puck in the middle of an unmistakable arm farting contest.
Blaine catches sight of the picture and his face breaks out into a relieved grin, “Oh my god, Kurt. Now you almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Why?” Kurt asks in a pained voice, “Why would you ever stoop so low as to indulge in a arm farting contest with my brother and Puck-why Blaine? And why would you have someone take pictures with my phone-”
“-there’s a video too, I guess.”
“Again-why?”
“You dared me!”
“I told Finn and Puck that having an arm farting contest with them would be the last thing you did!” Kurt says with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.
“Yeah, so? Dare.” Blaine says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Blaine!” Kurt says, frustrated.
“What?” and if Kurt thinks the way Blaine’s eyes widen with innocence is adorable enough to make him kiss him senseless, he doesn’t show it.
“I said that hoping they’d let me have you to myself. In case you haven’t noticed-my friends love you, Blaine. And as much as I am thankful for the open arm welcome they’ve given you into our social circle, sometimes it can be a little overwhelming when all I want is to have my boyfriend by my side. Not going off and having arm farting contests.”
Blaine blinks confusedly at him for a second before he surges forward and kisses him. Kurt’s taken by surprise and almost drops his phone. But he manages to throw it onto a cushion at the far side of the bed as he rolls over on top of Blaine, kissing him with a mixture of frustration and affection and something that says you’re completely and utterly stupid and I am in love with you.
The phone lies beside their entwined bodies, forgotten once more.
rating; pg-13
word count; 4,200
pairing; kurt/blaine, mentions of gleeks and warblers
disclaimer; i do not own any of these characters. just borrowing them, no infringement intended
warnings; fluff. Honestly, lots of fluff. But no, no warnings really.
summary; the one wherein Kurt goes through his iphone photo gallery and Blaine Anderson is a picture whore who just cannot keep a straight face.
a/n; this was inspired by the recent warbler album outtakes because man, they were GOLD and also by Darren’s face. Seriously, it’s like every single picture I see of him has something unique about it-very rarely do I come across standard posed photos. He’s always such a dork with the winking and pouting and general goofy face making. Like most of my fics, this got way out of hand but it was immensely fun writing it and gave me the pick me up I needed after a crappy few days.
“Is there a single picture of yours that doesn’t include you making the most ridiculous faces ever?” Kurt asks with a heavy sigh. Blaine hums distractedly from where he’s lying in his lap as Kurt continues to flick through his iphone. “I mean, seriously, Blaine. Would it kill you to keep a straight face for at least one photo?”
“What’re you talking about? I have plenty of straight faced photos.” Blaine mumbles defensively but he doesn’t open his eyes and continues to rub his cheek against Kurt’s denim clad thigh.
“Well if you do then they must be on your phone because these...” he swipes at his screen and shakes his head at a photo of Blaine flopping his tongue out like a dog’s, eyebrows raised in two perfect triangular arches, “you look like a clown in all of these.”
“You love me.” Blaine teases and Kurt can feel his smile when he presses a kiss to his knee.
“Well, yes-” he agrees offhandedly as he reaches to thread his fingers in Blaine’s hair with the hand that’s not holding his phone. “But it would be nice to be able to show people a picture of my boyfriend without them thinking you’re a nut job.” he tugs lightly at Blaine’s curls-still damp from their evening swimming in the Hudmel pool. “You’ve been using the conditioner I got you haven’t you?”
Blaine tilts his head back against Kurt’s fingers as he tugs again, “Mm-hmm.”
“It’s doing wonders for your hair. All that gel...” Kurt shudders a little. “You’d have been bald before you were thirty.”
“I’d still look fabulous.” Blaine says with a shrug.
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Kurt replies even though he’s smiling. He continues to play absently with Blaine’s hair as he makes his way through the rest of his photos one by one. He’s usually really particular about keeping his photo gallery organized. He’s not one to keep year old photos on his phone. Typically they’re transferred to his computer the night after they’re taken and he sorts through them-keeping what he likes and deleting the rest. But before Blaine, his pictures didn’t have a lot of variety in them. They’d consisted of random shots of him and Mercedes hanging out or some glee club group shots and the occasional photographic nature frames for when Kurt felt creative.
It’s been a while since Kurt’s sat down and organized his photos-not since Nationals in New York and that alone had been enough to take up the 8gb on his phone because he’d gone mad taking photos every chance he got. Even with the New York pictures transferred on to his computer, his iphone is still chalk full of the wildest pictures in the history of its existence. Which is understandable given that it’s summer and Kurt has a boyfriend who is over enthusiastic about getting his picture taken-seriously, Blaine is a picture whore.
He’s not even joking. He’s pretty sure 90% of the photos are of Blaine. He’ll butt into shots that are not even about him. Like that group shot of the girls in the park which would have been really nice if Blaine hadn’t bounded in last minute yelling ‘wait for me! me too!’ and ruined the moment with his crazy expression, face sweating from the game of football he’d been playing with the guys. He does that a lot--shows up right at the moment the camera is about to click with crazy facial expressions or his arms thrown out as if hugging the camera inevitably blocking someone from view.
And then there are the Blaine and furniture pictures-Blaineture pictures as Mercedes and Tina refer to them (Kurt can handle them referring to him and Blaine as ‘Klaine’ because the glee club is incapable of not mashing up couple names-but really, Blaineture?) Blaine has the adorably annoying habit of jumping on furniture a lot. Carole nearly fainted when she came home and found Blaine standing on their coffee table, playing guitar hero with Finn as Kurt sat on the sofa with his face buried in his hands. Kurt hadn’t let Blaine in his room for three days after he came back from his shower to find Blaine jumping on his mattress like it was a trampoline. He’s sure Blaine has jumped on every single chair and table in the Dalton common rooms during his Warbler performances. It’s just like, a thing for him. Kurt teases him about it sometimes, saying how it has to do with a height complex but really, he thinks Blaine just likes the added attention when he’s a good two or three heads above everyone else.
Because he’s also an attention whore.
“Honestly, why do I love you?” Kurt thinks aloud.
“Becausemwsome,” Blaine mumbles.
It all comes back to the fact that Kurt’s phone is overflowing with pictures. And it helps that he has friends that are desperate to take the most unflattering pictures of each other even if it means clicking picture after picture until there’s one where someone’s shooting iced latte out of their nose mid-laughter or something.
And there are unflattering pictures-quite a lot of them actually. Kurt suspects Santana’s involvement in a lot of them, especially when he comes across a rather dark shot that features him and Blaine in the midst of what is clearly a passionate kiss.
“I don’t remember this,” he says, staring thoughtfully at his phone.
“’ember what?” Blaine asks, his voice thick.
“This...look.” Blaine opens his eyes reluctantly and Kurt shows him his phone. “We usually keep that level of passion for when we’re alone.”
“You mean for when we’re alone like we are right now?” he grins suggestively, sitting up slowly and Kurt rolls his eyes but he doesn’t resist when Blaine moves to straddle his lap.
They forget about the picture for a little while; Blaine’s lips and tongue and hands a delicious distraction.
“But no, really-” Kurt says when they’re forced to break the kiss for air. He’s panting a little and Blaine’s lips sucking at a particularly sensitive spot under his chin aren’t helping his breathing in the least. “When was that? And most importantly, who gave my phone to Santana?”
“How do you know it was Santana?” Blaine asks against his skin, now kissing a trail down the side of Kurt’s neck.
“Because she’s the only one who’d take pictures of us when we’re making out-oh. That feels good,” He licks his lips and tilts his head back, exposing more skin for Blaine to kiss along.
“Really? Because I’m pretty sure Lauren and Puck were betting on who tops in this relationship.”
“WHAT?!”
Blaine laughs; “Like you’d expect anything less from Puck?” he pulls aside the material of Kurt’s t-shirt to press a kiss to his shoulder.
“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m surprised.” Kurt replies, half disgusted, half awed because of course Puck would be fascinated by the sexual dynamics of his relationship with Blaine.
“Or it could have been Rachel,” Blaine muses, moving back up to kiss Kurt’s jaw.
“No,” Kurt says, running his hands down Blaine’s back as his boyfriend gently rolls Kurt’s earlobe between his teeth. “Rachel and Finn are practically glued to each other these days. They’re competing with Tina and Mike for the most sickeningly exhibitionist couple.”
“They’re not that bad.” Blaine says softly, moving on to Kurt’s other ear.
“You’d say differently if you’d seen them going at it in the kitchen at Santana’s barbeque last week.” Kurt shakes his head at the memory. “Rachel should not be allowed to kiss when she’s drunk.”
Blaine pulls back and Kurt groans at the loss of contact, clutching at air, trying to get Blaine’s lips back on his skin before he catches the guilty look on Blaine’s face and-oh. Right. Kurt still can’t think of that game of spin the bottle without something tight coiling in his stomach. Apparently, Blaine can’t think of it without feeling ashamed (which Kurt selfishly feels is appropriate) “You know what? Scratch that. Rachel should not be allowed to get drunk, period.”
Blaine smiles as Kurt tugs him down for a rough kiss.
“Wait-that’s it!” Kurt exclaims, breaking the kiss so suddenly Blaine collapses on top of him with surprise. “Ow, Blaine, get off!”
“What the hell?” Blaine grumbles as Kurt shoves at him. He rolls on to his back as Kurt sits up and reaches over him for where his phone lies forgotten on the bed.
“This picture was taken at Santana’s barbeque!” he explains and sure enough, a closer look shows the familiar walls of Santana’s house in the background.
“That would explain the level of passion,” Blaine says with a nod, scooting closer to Kurt. “We were drunk.”
“I wasn’t drunk. I had like, two glasses of punch.” Kurt says defensively.
“In other words, you were drunk.”
Kurt narrows his eyes at Blaine but he can’t argue because that vodka had been strong and come to think of it, Kurt really shouldn’t have trusted Puck not to spike the drinks.
“I’m going to get back at her for this,” he says.
“I don’t see the harm done, it’s a hot picture.” Blaine grins beside him and Kurt can’t help but smile as he looks from Blaine to the picture on his phone. He feels a sudden wave of that giddy feeling he gets sometimes as he realizes that this is real. He has a boyfriend and he has a picture of himself kissing said boyfriend at a party with his friends and it’s so much more than he’d ever expected to be able to do this point last year.
“Doesn’t change the fact that all my friends are perverts,” He sighs.
“You’re just lucky she didn’t catch me blowing you in the backseat of your car later that night.”
Kurt’s eyes widen, “Wait, you did what?”
“You don’t remember?” Blaine asks, frowning, “we went to your car...started making out and then I said I really wanted to--” he shrugs, “Oh well, must’ve been because you were drunk.”
Kurt stares at him horrified, partly because he can’t believe he could ever be drunk enough to forget something like Blaine giving him a blowjob in the backseat of his car and partly because Blaine gave him a blowjob in THE BACKSEAT OF HIS CAR!
Blaine bursts out laughing a split second later. “I’m kidding Kur-OW!” because Kurt punches him hard enough for Blaine to double back on the bed. “What was that for?!” he asks, sitting up and rubbing his arm.
“You owe me a blowjob.” Kurt says, turning back to his phone.
Blaine grins and a split second later, Kurt feels his finger dance along the hem of his t-shirt. “How’d you feel if I paid you back right now? You know, now that we’ve got your mystery picture solved, and everything.”
But Kurt is now flicking through pictures again and as tempting as the brush of Blaine’s fingers on his stomach are, the pictures are too entertaining to turn away from.
Among the plethora of blurry shots that were probably taken when everyone was too busy laughing to keep their hands steady and completely random shots of the glee kids doing all kinds of things from dunking Sam in the Hudmel pool to Lord Tubbington and Tina posing wearing matching, large hats-there are photos of Brittany in nothing but her lacy red bra which would have passed as sexy if not for her half opened eyes which make her look oddly like a stripper zombie, and close ups of Rachel’s nose and a million-literally, a million different brands of Blaine-crazy.
“Oh my god, my boyfriend really is a nut job,” Kurt groans in mock horror.
“I’m not that bad,” Blaine says, giving up on trying to get Kurt to make out and instead settling for a cuddle. He hooks a leg under Kurt’s, tangling their feet and presses closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s stomach and resting his head on his shoulder.
“Really? Because I would call this pretty bad,” Kurt says, tilting the phone at an angle so Blaine can see the ridiculousness on his phone that is him in a variety of poses.
There’s Blaine winking and saluting the camera, Blaine with a massive pout on his face as he tries to balance himself on one foot, Blaine caught mid air in a jump pretending to fly, Blaine pretending to be choked to death with his Dalton tie...there are about twelve pictures of him posing with different coloured sunglasses, another five of him using his guitar as a sword, a gun, a knife to his gut (that one also features a disapproving Quinn in the background)...the list is endless and the funny part is, a lot of the photos seem to have been taken by Blaine himself.
“You are obsessed with your face.” Kurt comments.
“It’s one good lookin’ face,” Blaine agrees with a nod.
“And you are full of yourself too, did I mention?”
“Like you’re not?” Blaine retorts and perhaps it’s sheer coincidence that a photo of Blaine and Kurt posing as models chooses to appear right that second. They stare at it for a while and Kurt has to admit, as crazy as the picture is what with Blaine’s attempt at smouldering eyes and jutted hip and Kurt’s bent knees and slightly hollowed jaw, they look pretty good.
But he only gives a vague, “Hmph,” before flicking to the next photo.
They go through a few random, uninteresting shots until a collection of photos with both him and Blaine start up. The first are pretty basic; most of them seem to be taken by their friends and show them with their arms around each other, smiling at the camera (even though Blaine’s smiles are wide enough to show all his teeth and reduce his eyes to small barely-there crinkles), a few of them have other glee kids or warblers in it. Then come the more intimate shots both together and separate; there are those which have one half of their faces cut off because the angle hadn’t been right, photos that Kurt had been posing for solo but Blaine out of sheer habit had turned up last second with a tackle hug and the picture ended up a blur of Blaine’s grinning face, lips pressed Kurt’s cheek as Kurt swayed in surprise, eyes squeezed shut and grinning widely.
There are a lot of pictures of Blaine sleeping which Kurt takes full credit for because he absolutely loves watching Blaine sleep. There’s one of him sleeping in Kurt’s lap, his arms squeezed around Kurt’s waist. His face is barely visible beneath the mop of his wild hair but it’s unmistakably him.
“You know you spend an awful lot of our time together sleeping in my lap,” Kurt says.
“Well you have a very comfortable lap,” Blaine replies, nudging Kurt’s chin with his nose in a silent request. Kurt gives in to his plea for a kiss but pulls away quickly and turns back to his phone.
There are a few solo shots of Kurt taken by Blaine. Nothing special, in fact they’re kind of pointless because Kurt is either half way through a sentence or sucking brownie batter off the tip of his finger or bent over a notebook-a look of intense concentration on his face or the picture is ruined by the blur of his gesticulating hand as the other grips the wheel when he drives but it’s the thought of Blaine taking these pictures of him in the simplest of moments just because he feels like it or because-as Blaine tells him-he thinks Kurt looks exceptionally beautiful, makes Kurt view them with a different warmth altogether.
“Okay, so maybe they’re not all bad...” he says in a soft voice, his thumb paused over a close up of him and Blaine. He can’t be sure who took it because it isn’t anything racy that would point all suspicion towards Santana. It’s just a simple picture of Blaine nuzzling Kurt’s neck as Kurt turns towards him, eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips.
“See?” Blaine says triumphantly. “I told you they’re not all bad!”
As if to challenge his words, the next shot is of Blaine yelling in Kurt’s ears. Kurt’s expression is one of genuine shock-his eyes blown wide and mouth open in a startled yelp.
“Oh my god, that was hilarious!” Blaine says excitedly. “Your face Kurt, look at your face!”
“You snuck up behind me and screamed in my ear, Blaine.” Kurt says flatly, “I was bound to freak out.”
“It was Rachel’s idea.” Blaine says in his defence. “But it was still so much fun.”
“I’m sure,” Kurt says icily. He still hasn’t forgiven Blaine for that particular prank. Yelling “DO YOU THINK IM SEXY?!” in his ear while Kurt had been trying to focus on the opening number for a scene to Pip, Pip, Hooray had been anything but fun.
“Mercedes was filming a video from behind a bush. You need to see your reaction, seriously. It was hilarious.”
“I slapped you as a reflex a millisecond later,” Kurt says with a frown.
“Exactly!” Blaine says with a wide grin that suggests getting slapped was all he could ever hope for as a reaction. “And then you realized what you’d done and you hugged me breathless for a full five minutes as an apology and kept kissing my cheek throughout the evening.”
“It was red...I mean, I hadn’t meant to hurt you,” Kurt mumbles. “But you deserved it. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“The video, come on...” Blaine urges trying to grab the phone out of his hands.
“Alright, alright. Oh my god, you’re worse than an eight year old on crack sometimes.”
He browses through frames until he comes across the video Blaine mentioned. Most of the beginning is out of focus with Blaine asking “ready? Make sure you get this on camera.”
“Go on white boy, I got this,” Mercedes replies.
He sees a brief close up of Blaine giving her the thumbs up and hears Rachel squeal “this is going to be so much fun,” before the camera steadies and brings Kurt into focus. He’s sitting on a garden chair in Rachel’s backyard, tapping his pen impatiently on his notebook. Blaine sneaks up behind him, constantly shooting thumbs up to the camera as he goes but before he reaches Kurt, the video ends.
“What? No, come on!” Blaine exclaims.
“I think she stopped vidcam and switched to camera.” Kurt says and sure enough, the next video they find continues a split moment after Kurt has slapped Blaine-his hand is still hanging in mid air.
“Oh my god!” Kurt says in horror when he turns and sees Blaine standing with a hand cupping his cheek and Rachel bursts into loud laughter and the camera shakes as Mercedes stands up and starts walking over to them.
“Ow, ow, fucking ow!” Blaine says even though he’s grinning.
“Oh my g-Blaine I am so sorry!” Kurt says, dropping his pen and standing up. “I didn’t know it was you-what the hell were you doing-aw crap, I’m sorry!” he pulls Blaine into a tight hug. He continues to babble a mixture of apologies and curses as he hugs him but Kurt can’t make out what he’s saying over the loud roar of Mercedes and Rachel’s laughter. Mercedes films Blaine face resting happily on Kurt’s shoulder and he winks at her, flashing another thumbs up before hugging Kurt back and sniffling a little.
The video ends with Kurt pulling back and pressing his lips long and hard to Blaine’s cheek as the girls fall into a chorus of aw’s.
“You kind of stole the moment,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “I was supposed to be angry at you.”
“You slapped me.” Blaine says, “I think you got your revenge.”
They continue to relive memories as they make their way through more photos and the occasional videos. Blaine goes crazy when he sees the pictures from the Warbler’s Summer Bash that Wes had thrown.
“I don’t get what you’re so excited about,” Kurt says. “You had to wear your uniforms to a party. Outside of school. During summer holidays. I’m lucky Wes didn’t ask me to wear my old Dalton blazer, I would have died in this heat.”
“It’s traditional to wear uniforms for the first official Warbler party of the summer.” Blaine says with a shrug, “And besides, it’s not like you dress for the heat-how do you not suffocate in those skin tight jeans? Would it kill you to switch them up for a pair of shorts once in a while?” he asks, the heel of his foot dragging along Kurt’s calf emphasizing his point. “Ooh, I love that one!” he says suddenly, halting Kurt’s swiping thumb.
It’s a picture of Kurt standing with his arms crossed looking like he’s trying really hard to ignore Blaine beside him who is attempting in vain to get Kurt to dance; his knees are bent and arms pumped out in front of his chest.
“It looks like you’re humping my thigh.” Kurt says, tilting his head and looking at the photo more closely.
Blaine gives a low chuckle and presses a kiss to the spot at the back of Kurt’s ear before resting his head on his shoulder again. “It worked though.” He says, “In the end? You danced didn’t you?”
“I did,” Kurt agrees, “Until Thad bust out his moves. It’s a miracle no one died.”
Blaine laughs and Kurt continues to flick through pictures.
“Aw, man. These are some pretty awesome memories.” Blaine says, sighing.
“They’re not even a month old, Blaine.” Kurt says, fighting the urge to laugh at Blaine’s heavy nostalgic tone.
“Yeah but...I mean,” his foot resumes stroking up and down Kurt’s leg, “Think about it. You’re my first boyfriend. I’m you’re first boyfriend; every picture of us kissing, hugging, dancing with each other-whatever. They’re all of our first summer with each other and out first summer with our first boyfriend.”
“That’s an awful lot of ‘firsts’ in one sentence,” Kurt says but Blaine’s words have hit that spot within him-the same one that made him feel giddy all over a while ago.
“When we look back at these pictures five, ten, twenty years from now on, we’re going to remember this time and laugh about how stupid we look and how brilliantly ingenious we thought we were when we decided to duct tape Finn to the floor in his sleep and told him the house was burning down.” Kurt smiles, his throat constricting now because-did Blaine just really say they were still going to be together after twenty years?
“I love you,” Blaine says simply.
“I love you too.” Kurt replies instantly.
In a movie, this would be the moment where they kiss and it would probably lead to awesome, passionate I love you sex, but instead they just hug. Or more like Blaine buries his face in Kurt’s neck and Kurt turns his face and kisses the wild curls of Blaine’s head and they just sort of hold each other close for a while without saying anything until--
“OH MY GOD, YOU DIDN’T!”
“What, what’d I do?” Blaine asks, jerking away from Kurt and holding his hands up as if giving a peace offering.
Kurt’s thumb had slipped while hugging Blaine and the picture had slid forward to reveal one of Blaine, Finn and Puck in the middle of an unmistakable arm farting contest.
Blaine catches sight of the picture and his face breaks out into a relieved grin, “Oh my god, Kurt. Now you almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Why?” Kurt asks in a pained voice, “Why would you ever stoop so low as to indulge in a arm farting contest with my brother and Puck-why Blaine? And why would you have someone take pictures with my phone-”
“-there’s a video too, I guess.”
“Again-why?”
“You dared me!”
“I told Finn and Puck that having an arm farting contest with them would be the last thing you did!” Kurt says with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.
“Yeah, so? Dare.” Blaine says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Blaine!” Kurt says, frustrated.
“What?” and if Kurt thinks the way Blaine’s eyes widen with innocence is adorable enough to make him kiss him senseless, he doesn’t show it.
“I said that hoping they’d let me have you to myself. In case you haven’t noticed-my friends love you, Blaine. And as much as I am thankful for the open arm welcome they’ve given you into our social circle, sometimes it can be a little overwhelming when all I want is to have my boyfriend by my side. Not going off and having arm farting contests.”
Blaine blinks confusedly at him for a second before he surges forward and kisses him. Kurt’s taken by surprise and almost drops his phone. But he manages to throw it onto a cushion at the far side of the bed as he rolls over on top of Blaine, kissing him with a mixture of frustration and affection and something that says you’re completely and utterly stupid and I am in love with you.
The phone lies beside their entwined bodies, forgotten once more.