Fic: Give Me Reason, One Shot, (Sylar!Nathan/Claire)
Title: Give Me Reason
Word Count: 2,045
Rating: PG-15
Pairings: Nathan/Claire, Sylar/Claire, mentions of Angela, Noah, Matt and Peter.
Warnings: Spoilers for season 3 finale, non graphic sex, possible incest issues (but nothing’s what it seems),
Summary: He doesn’t know how or when, but she finds out…
A/N: Written for the “Release” theme atheroes_contest. So you probably already know that I’m addicted to Sylar!Nathan pretty badly. I’m trying out a lot of different options with him. This takes place mid-volume 5, when Nathan has already grown accustomed to Sylar inside him and vice versa. Thus the ‘he’ is both Sylar and Nathan with Nathan being more dominant. Confusing, but an idea I just couldn’t leave unwritten. Inspired by “New Divide” by Linkin Park.
He doesn’t know how or when, but somehow, she finds out. The only indication he gets is the hurt look in her eyes, tears brimming on the edges as she stares at him over dinner one night and he knows then, that she knows the truth.
She’s always been a strong girl. He’d seen that the night he’d flung her against the locker room wall and cracked her skull open, when she’d jumped out of his office window to save Peter, fought for her family the night at Primatech, took forty shots of tequila to win them money in Mexico, threatened to kill him in that hotel suite…
She doesn’t speak to him after that, refuses to answer his calls, or come to meet him. The only times he sees her is when his mother calls her over for brunch or the occasional dinners.
It’s during one of those dinners that he decides the matter can no longer be avoided.
“Claire, can I speak to you for a moment?” he asks, as she’s headed into the lounge with Peter. She turns and stares at him and he silently holds his study door open for her. He sees her jaw clench as she walks past him into the study, he follows, closing the door firmly behind him.
“Peter.” She says, her back to him facing the pictures over the fireplace.
“What?”
“Peter,” she repeats, turning to look at him, “I’m only keeping quiet for Peter. Because once I tell him he is going to kill you…”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” he says, shaking his finger at her as he takes a seat on the chair behind his desk. She remains standing, eyes narrowed. “Peter lets his emotions rule him. It’s the reason he makes the mistakes he does. He’ll be too devastated over my death to kill me… What’s left of me anyways.” He adds with a little jerk of his head.
She stares at him bitterly for a moment, “You killed Nathan…” her voice is low and shaky, almost a whisper and he can see that she’s suppressing tears. “If he doesn’t kill you, I will…” He stands up, walks over to her and she instinctively takes a step back.
“I’m still here, Claire…” he says softly and he can see her eyes widen a fraction of an inch as she hears the change in his tone, “I know it’s hard to digest but this is real, and you need to learn to accept it,” She continues to stare at him, “I want to be there for you,” he says.
That he’s standing in the same room where he first told her he wanted to be there for her as a father isn’t lost on him and he can see in her eyes that she’s thinking the same thing.
“Is this Sylar or my father speaking?” she asks, tears now evident in her eyes.
He sighs, takes a step towards her and rests his hands lightly on her shoulders, “Both.” Tears are streaming down her face and he wipes them with a light brush of his hand, “I can be here for you forever Claire,” he continues.
She looks surprised, like she’d never really considered the fact that he’s now immortal too. She reaches up to pull his arms away from her shoulders and holds one in her hand. She scrapes her fingernails across his skin hard enough to draw blood. He watches her face closely as his wounds heal. She looks back at him, a mixture of horror and pain.
“I can protect you forever…” he repeats. She swallows, looking up at him and he smiles at her reassuringly, drawing her into a hug, she doesn’t fight him.
“What about Sylar?” she asks, her voice muffled in his chest.
“I won’t let him hurt you,” he says automatically.
“But he’ll still be there,” it’s not a question.
“Yes,” Silence, “I told you I can’t die…”
…
I remember each flash as time began to blur…
Angela’s dead, her dad’s dead, Matt Parkman’s dead… she watches them pass one by one, knowing that she will out live them all. Peter, his wife, his kids, they’re all dead…
All she has left is Nathan.
He doesn’t look a day older than he did that night in his study. His face doesn’t have a single wrinkle, his head a single gray hair…she doesn’t realize how much she holds on to the knowledge that he’ll stay with her forever until he comes home one night to tell her he’s leaving for Mexico the following day.
“I have a conference,” he says, taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. They’ve become too accustomed to each other to care about privacy. They’ve been living together for close to a century, after all.
“When’ll you be back?” she asks his bare retreating back as he walks into the bathroom.
“Two weeks,” he replies, shaking on his night shirt as he walks back out.
“Two weeks…” she repeats in a weak voice. She can barely stand two hours… she’s become too scared of being left alone. Peter’s death had hit her harder than anyone else’s. Maybe because he’d promised he’d never leave her either… he hadn’t been able to keep that promise. What if Nathan couldn’t either?
He comes to sit down next to her on the bed, taking her hand and rubbing her knuckles, “I’ll be back,” he promises, sensing her worry.
She doesn’t reply, doesn’t look at him. He reaches out a hand, traces a finger down her cheek and she closes her eyes instinctively, takes a deep breath knowing he isn’t Nathan right then but she doesn’t stop him.
“I’m coming with you,”
It’s not a request.
…
There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned…
The hotel they stay in this time is beyond different from the one where they stayed the last time she was there. Nathan says something to the receptionist, something she can’t hear from where she’s standing near the elevators but they’re given an executive suite. One she hesitates in stepping in. Nathan notices but doesn’t comment.
He’s barely there the first three days, too busy in consecutive meetings. She busies herself in roaming the streets of Mexico, and finds herself standing outside the motel she’d stayed in with Nathan the last time. It’s barely standing now but it’s there. A reminder of times that seem so long ago now…
She crosses the familiar streets in the lower side of town, passes the bus stop Nathan had given her necklace to her. She fingers the necklace, now slightly bronze rather than silver but she never takes it off, not even while showering.
“I went to the motel we stayed in last time today,” she tells him over dinner on their fourth night in Mexico. He looks up from his plate, looking slightly confused and she feels saddened for a moment, “You do remember the last time we were here, right?” she asks him.
He reaches for his glass of water, takes a large gulp “Course I do,” he says with a small nod.
“Do you remember telling me you get a pit in your stomach every time you think about me?”
“Claire, what’s this about?” he asks, moving closer to her, arm going around her on the sofa.
She averts her gaze, smiling slightly. “Nothing,” she says, shaking her head. He doesn’t seem convinced.
“Claire…” he presses in a soft tone.
“I just…” she fingers the top of her glass absently, looking for words to define her emotions, “I’m just tired of all of this Nathan…how long are we going to keep doing this? Living like everything’s perfectly normal when it’s not?”
“Is something wrong?” he asks, his frown deepening.
“I’m lonely,” she admits quietly.
“But I’m here…am I not enough?” he asks and his tone is suddenly harsher, less like Nathan more like Sylar…
“That’s not what I meant,” she says quickly, “I mean…I’m lonely I…” she trails off unable to finish the sentence but knowing that she doesn’t have to. He understands things, he’ll understand what she means…
Sure enough she hears a small ‘Oh’ escape from his lips a moment later. She refuses to meet his gaze, “Do you remember telling me I might come to love you?” blood rushes to her cheeks, her heart pounds in her chest with the realization of what she’s about to say.
“Yes…” he replies, his expression suddenly darker with the reminder of Sylar.
She swallows, “Well, what if I have?” she asks quietly, turning to look at him. Nathan stares back at her for a moment, his eyes distant and suddenly not like Nathan at all. His arm tightens around her shoulder, hand coming up to cup her chin as he pulls her face towards his in a soft kiss. It’s just a brush of his lips, so light she barely feels it before he pulls away.
“I can be whoever you want me to be Claire, family, friend…” he leans in so his lips are right next to her ears, “lover…” she fights back a shiver, “but are you ready for this? There’s no going back, you know that…”
She’s silent for a moment as she contemplates. She knows Nathan’s not really Nathan, that he’s not really her father. He never acted like a father to her either. He’d been protective, he’d given her everything she’d asked for but he could have easily been someone other than her family. She’d never been able to love him as a father, she’d grown to know and love him in a completely different way…
She’s lonely, too lonely, it’s been years since she’s felt loved in a way other than platonic and simply having Nathan with her isn’t enough. She knows what Sylar had said had been true; he’d never die and eventually, she’d come to love him. She doesn’t love him in the way he thought she would because Nathan’s not really Sylar either…
She’s still confused about the dual personality within him but she knows it’s something she can live with. The fact that he’s not really Nathan but not really Sylar either both confuses and relieves her at the same time but she wants nothing more to get rid of the confusion once and for all and just feel… She bites her lip, staring at Nathan for a moment, before bringing his head back down to hers, sealing her lips over his.
Give me reason to wash this memory clean
Give me reason
to fill this hole
Connect the space between
He responds immediately, his lips moving in perfect sync with hers. She twists her hand in his hair, pulling him closer as she moves to sit in his lap, his lips are so soft, so warm…they spread a whole new glow inside her. She runs her tongue along his lower lip, tasting him before pushing past into his mouth. He groans, his hands coming to cup her bottom as he stands up, her legs wrapping around his waist. He leads her to the bed, his fingers toying with the end of her shirt as he lowers her onto the feather soft pillows.
The need for air gets too strong and he pulls his lips away from hers, dragging them along her jaw down to her neck, his hand sliding under her shirt, along her stomach. She shivers in pleasure, pulling his head back up impatiently for another kiss.
There’s a moment just before he’s about to thrust into her that he meets her gaze and she can see the Nathan she knows reflected in his eyes. He’s nervous, unsure but she kisses him softly and gives a silent nod, smiling slightly. He buries his face in her neck as he thrusts into her and she knows it’s the Sylar within him that allows him to commit the otherwise, tabooed sin of sleeping with his daughter but she can’t say in that moment, that she minds. She’s been void of emotions too long and if he’s giving her a chance to release those pent up feelings; she’s not going to complain.
Far from it.
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies,
Across this new divide