Comments | coming_clean001: Twice the Life

coming_clean001

Twice the Life

Jan 10, 2007 11:59

Title: Twice the Life
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG
Genre: General/Angst
Summary: “In life we have to compromise the chaos of our choices”. Petunia realises what she missed. Petunia, Lily. Beta-ed by Velvet Mouse of Perfect Imagination. Posted at The Unknowable Room.
Words: 824
Disclaimer: I’d love to be able to claim Lily Evans and Petunia Dursley as ( Read more... )

harry potter: lily evans, harry potter, fic: songfic, fic

Comments 4

lightbird777 January 10 2007, 02:04:58 UTC

I've read very few Harry Potter fanfics. There are tens of thousands of them out there (and so many that are not very good), but I really liked this one. Very poignant, and the second-person point of view was handled very nicely. I've never been a big songfic-fan, but the lyrics you've chosen work very well - though I must say, this ficlet would stand on its own, even without the inserted lyrics. :)

Great work!

coming_clean001 January 10 2007, 02:51:01 UTC

Yeah, I wasn't sure about putting the lyrics in there. Songfics are gay and I hate them, but I just left them in there. For no particular reason, actually. I think I might take them out, actually, because I agree that the fic doesn't need them to work... Meh, I dunno. Do you think it would be better without the lyrics? *ponders*
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it and that this made a good impression on you -- you're so right, there is some really crappy HP fic out there. Glad this didn't count as one of the bad ones! lol Thanks for your comment. <3

salsarama January 24 2007, 16:07:31 UTC

so, because right now it is very late and i am very tired, i will apologise in advance for any typos. (if i randomly insult you, too, it's nothing personal and i surely don't mean it. blame the evilness of non-sleep.)

firstly, you handle second person with the care and subtlety it deserves (and so often lacks in fic from fandoms so grossly popular as hp). i love the style and the repetition, i love the smooth integration of short, factual sentences with the longer, more colourful ones. i like your use of semi-colons and commas. i adore the last line. (i feel the need to mention here that i laughed when i read: then she died, and you were angry. i understand that this was inappropriate.) the lyrics read nicely as dividers, too, despite the general crappiness of song-fic techniques ( ... )

coming_clean001 January 26 2007, 04:06:10 UTC

Firstly, you're asleep as I right this, I think, and it' good, because you were really boring yesterday when you were half dead.
Yeah, you have to teach me to format. Tomorrow, though, coz I'm going out soon. By the way, happy Australia day! *is totally not patriotic*