just_muse_me | 16.1.4. It wasn't supposed to happen...
16.1.4. It wasn't supposed to happen...
Co-written with supermarketsam
[Follows THIS]
The idea of spending a couple of days in bed had gone over pretty well with Tim. Sam had told him the night before after the talk with J, and eating pizza. The couple had made a head start already, and T had only just rolled over to go back to sleep when Sam's pee sense started tingling. She giggled quietly to herself at the in-joke, Tim already dead to the world and didn't stir. It was amazing how quickly the guy could go to sleep. Sam got out of bed, and made a face as her feet hit the cool air. She hated cold feet, which was why most nights in bed she wore a pair of Tim's socks. Bit by bit she was slowly claiming items of his wardrobe. It was a coup to have even had him willingly give up one. Most times she didn't even think he noticed. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank top to avoid a naked disaster of her own, already hopping from foot to foot as her pee sense started to tingle stronger.
With a mad dash, a quick knock and a sigh of relief, Sam managed to get into the bathroom before any accidents and came back out with a yawn. Before she went back to bed to start her two day lie-in, she walked up to the kitchen to find some juice to take with her. She smiled to herself as she saw her slippers on the floor near the sink, now remembering having put them on just after the pizza had arrived. Sam wasn't as neat as she'd like to think. She had a terrible habit of leaving things the last place she used them. Just as she slipped her foot into the left one, she frowned as her foot hit paper and there was a loud crinkling sound.
Sam immediately pulled her foot back out and bent down to fish out the paper, stifling another yawn. It took her a moment or two to focus on the words, but when she did, she pulled the slipper on and shuffled quietly back down the hall towards J's room. After biting her lip and debating whether to knock, or not, she did knock and waited to see if J was as dead to the world as Tim, and if Mac was ready for the girl talk.
Taylor heard the knock and held her breath to see if Jason asleep beside her was going to stir with the sound. She counted to ten in her mind and then carefully extracted herself from Jason's arms and backed awkwardly out of the bed so she didn't shake the mattress. Besides the fact she didn't want to wake her snoozing boyfriend, she didn't think her stomach would take the jolts either. She dragged on a pair of Jason's track pants and they swam on her, but getting her own meant more moving and bending and... just no. Her stomach was sloshing around uncomfortably again. Fuck, she just wanted it to stop. She tried to run her fingers through her bed hair to fix it, but it was pointless. The downside of having curly hair. She opened the bedroom door and found Sam standing there, and she bit her lip, glancing back at Jason before slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry. It's ok if ya' wanna go back to bed..." she said, her voice hushed. Her hand had snaked around her stomach again to nurse it gently.
"S'okay, I'd rather know ya were okay. T can wait, he's only gonna sleep 'til late anyways. If he needs me, I'll just make it up to him later." Sam shook her head, and pointed her thumb back towards the main room of the apartment. "Should we go talk in there, or ya wanna go out in one of the trucks if ya really don't want 'em to hear?"
Taylor really seriously contemplated the truck thing but she shook her head, rubbing her fingers over her mouth. "No, it's okay. Jason's sleepin' too. The livin' room will be okay..." She started to make her way through there and selected the first seat she came to, being one of the ends of the sofa. She curled up into it and rested her head against the back of it. "Goddamn them for bein' able to sleep so soundly."
Sam smirked as she took one of the other chairs, having a feeling that Mac might not like being jostled if she sat on the sofa. "They're boys, they're ex-footballers, and they're... well, guys. I think it's just in their genes t'sleep soundly. 'Specially the Texan guys."
Taylor nodded, looking much like she was giving serious thought to the statement. She bit down on her lip and then met Sam's gaze tiredly. "I think I'm pregnant," she said blankly.
Sam had been pushing her blonde hair back from her face but stopped to look at Mac. "Are... are ya sure? Have ya done a test? Why d'ya think ya might be pregnant?"
Almost like flicking a switch, Taylor started to get teary but she didn't let herself give into it. She just cleared her throat and planted her eyes on the edge of the coffee table. "Besides the throwin' up? Just a feelin'. I feel... different. And I'm two days late now. Jason and I did it once or twice without a condom, but I'm on the pill. Only, I was also on the tail end of some intense antibiotics when I got back t'Dillon to help my shoulder heal quickly. I can't blame anythin' but a total lack of thought. And I know the timin' might seem odd on account that Jason had troubles when I first got here, but I ain't slept with anyone else in about eight months." She stopped and shook her head, letting out a heavy breath. "I ain't done a test. Just kinda started wonderin' this mornin'. Been feelin' sick every mornin' for close to a week and gettin' these weird dizzy spells."
She shifted and buried her face in her hands. "This shouldn't be happenin," she mumbled. "I've gotta be back on the beat in around two months. That ain't a very long time. I can't be pregnant, I can't be!"
Sam wanted to remain positive for Mac, but she couldn't. Just talking about this was bringing back a flood of memories she'd fought hard to forget. "I was sixteen... I didn't wanna be either," she said softly. "Definitely sounds like ya pregnant. And ya ain't said a word to J? He should... I mean, it's his miracle sperm. I can't--I don't really know... I mean, it's definitely kinda bad timin' with ya nearly goin' back to New York and stuff. Ain't really any arguin' with that."
It seemed an impossible feat, but Taylor curled up into a smaller ball and rested her head on her knees. "Ironically, I didn't even get a chance t'talk t'him about kids. He's oblivious, but it's alright. I ain't gonna keep him in the dark. I just need t'find a good time t'tell him. He deserves t'know and deal with it however he needs to. I ain't wantin' this t'be anythin' like that other chick. He'll have a say in absolutely everythin', no matter what. I just feel so sick, I can hardly even face it. I guess I need t'do a test. I could go to my Momma, but I can't just yet. Only just started suspectin' this morning, ya' know? I wanna be wrong. Things were so great. I can't see this doing nothin' but complicatin' things. I can't see it doing nothin' but creatin' more problems right when everythin' seemed t'be going okay. I'm scared t'tell him. I always swore I'd do nothin' t'jeopardise my career on the force and now look what's happened."
Sam pulled her mouth to the side as she watched Mac before she moved out of her chair and gently sat down on the sofa beside Mac to wrap her arm around the other girl. "It's kinda a surprise for a reason, darlin'. If ya knew ya were gonna get pregnant, then ya woulda stopped it any way possible. I don't think ya can class it as jeopardisin' ya career when ya didn't even expect it t'happen. J's always thought he was infertile. No reason t'believe otherwise, 'specially after what that bitch did. I am really sorry it's happenin', Mac. I'll help ya stay in denial for as long as possible, but sooner or later, ya gonna have t'tell J, and get a test. It's unfair on yourself and him t'try and pretend nothin' is happenin' because the questions are gonna start five months down the track when ya got a bump."
"I told him we didn't need t'use a condom. I thought we didn't. I thought I was alright." The tears started to come freely now. It was only going to be so long that she could hold them off anyway. Strangely enough, she wasn't totally freaking out about this. She wasn't horrified at the notion, nor was she upset she was pregnant with Jason's baby. In fact, that was a lot of what she had planned to talk to him about if she had managed to get her finger out... that one day when they were settled, she would like to have kids with him if he could. And it was the wholehearted truth. She had always wanted to be a mother one day and with Jason she really felt like forever was more and more likely. She had crushed on him for so damn long. She still adored him to pieces. The quadriplegia and the wheelchair were all just part of him now and it was never a burden to her. He was still the same Jason Street who had chatted happily to her in Science class and made jokes about fossils when they studied together in the library. It had always been his smile with that bright shine in his blue eyes. It had been what she had been noticing since middle school and no matter what he said about the accident changing him, what he didn't realise was that smile and his eyes had never changed. She was sickeningly and sappily in love with him. She woke up wanting to kiss all over every inch of his face and loved how he always wanted her to sit in his lap. She loved how he fed of touch, the giving and receiving of it. She loved how sweet and caring he was. She was hooked on Jason Street and now by some freak timing, she was almost absolutely positive she was pregnant by him and the notion didn't horrify her. She was scared shitless and suddenly terrified about what it would mean for her job and her relationship with Jason, but if she was pregnant, she could deal with it... right?
She still couldn't stop the tears though, and she factored some of that to not being able to shake the miserable nausea plaguing her. "A bump," she whimpered with a teary laugh. "Do they even make maternity rookie uniforms? They'll put me on a desk job. Damnit. I hate bein' stuck inside." Her shaky hands gripped the back of Sam's/Tim's t-shirt. "I-I need to get a test. Like, today. I have t'know. I can't even damn well think properly until I do. And I'm really sorry t'lay all this on ya'. I know it can't be easy but I didn't know who else I could talk to who would really understand."
Sam pressed a kiss to Mac's temple as she hugged her friend tightly. "Don't worry about it. Ya doin' what I shoulda done when it was me... Ya want me t'get the test for ya? If ya just wanna stay here and be sick or go back to J, I can stash it with our tampons. Ain't like the boys go near that drawer."
Taylor bit down on her lip and sort of shrugged, nodded and shook her head all at the same time. "Can I live in Delusion Land for a few more hours? It ain't like I can really take it with the boys in the house anyway," she said, her voice small and tired.
Sam rubbed her hand against Mac's back and tried to nod as her head rest on top of the other girl's. "Sure. Just don't live in it forever. And know that I'll be here for ya no matter what."
Taylor nodded gratefully. "Thanks, darlin'. I think my sanity depends on it," she mumbled.
Tim Riggins [texas33forever] and Jason Street [itwontstopme] referenced with permission
Word Count | 2116
Co-written with supermarketsam
[Follows THIS]
The idea of spending a couple of days in bed had gone over pretty well with Tim. Sam had told him the night before after the talk with J, and eating pizza. The couple had made a head start already, and T had only just rolled over to go back to sleep when Sam's pee sense started tingling. She giggled quietly to herself at the in-joke, Tim already dead to the world and didn't stir. It was amazing how quickly the guy could go to sleep. Sam got out of bed, and made a face as her feet hit the cool air. She hated cold feet, which was why most nights in bed she wore a pair of Tim's socks. Bit by bit she was slowly claiming items of his wardrobe. It was a coup to have even had him willingly give up one. Most times she didn't even think he noticed. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank top to avoid a naked disaster of her own, already hopping from foot to foot as her pee sense started to tingle stronger.
With a mad dash, a quick knock and a sigh of relief, Sam managed to get into the bathroom before any accidents and came back out with a yawn. Before she went back to bed to start her two day lie-in, she walked up to the kitchen to find some juice to take with her. She smiled to herself as she saw her slippers on the floor near the sink, now remembering having put them on just after the pizza had arrived. Sam wasn't as neat as she'd like to think. She had a terrible habit of leaving things the last place she used them. Just as she slipped her foot into the left one, she frowned as her foot hit paper and there was a loud crinkling sound.
Sam immediately pulled her foot back out and bent down to fish out the paper, stifling another yawn. It took her a moment or two to focus on the words, but when she did, she pulled the slipper on and shuffled quietly back down the hall towards J's room. After biting her lip and debating whether to knock, or not, she did knock and waited to see if J was as dead to the world as Tim, and if Mac was ready for the girl talk.
Taylor heard the knock and held her breath to see if Jason asleep beside her was going to stir with the sound. She counted to ten in her mind and then carefully extracted herself from Jason's arms and backed awkwardly out of the bed so she didn't shake the mattress. Besides the fact she didn't want to wake her snoozing boyfriend, she didn't think her stomach would take the jolts either. She dragged on a pair of Jason's track pants and they swam on her, but getting her own meant more moving and bending and... just no. Her stomach was sloshing around uncomfortably again. Fuck, she just wanted it to stop. She tried to run her fingers through her bed hair to fix it, but it was pointless. The downside of having curly hair. She opened the bedroom door and found Sam standing there, and she bit her lip, glancing back at Jason before slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry. It's ok if ya' wanna go back to bed..." she said, her voice hushed. Her hand had snaked around her stomach again to nurse it gently.
"S'okay, I'd rather know ya were okay. T can wait, he's only gonna sleep 'til late anyways. If he needs me, I'll just make it up to him later." Sam shook her head, and pointed her thumb back towards the main room of the apartment. "Should we go talk in there, or ya wanna go out in one of the trucks if ya really don't want 'em to hear?"
Taylor really seriously contemplated the truck thing but she shook her head, rubbing her fingers over her mouth. "No, it's okay. Jason's sleepin' too. The livin' room will be okay..." She started to make her way through there and selected the first seat she came to, being one of the ends of the sofa. She curled up into it and rested her head against the back of it. "Goddamn them for bein' able to sleep so soundly."
Sam smirked as she took one of the other chairs, having a feeling that Mac might not like being jostled if she sat on the sofa. "They're boys, they're ex-footballers, and they're... well, guys. I think it's just in their genes t'sleep soundly. 'Specially the Texan guys."
Taylor nodded, looking much like she was giving serious thought to the statement. She bit down on her lip and then met Sam's gaze tiredly. "I think I'm pregnant," she said blankly.
Sam had been pushing her blonde hair back from her face but stopped to look at Mac. "Are... are ya sure? Have ya done a test? Why d'ya think ya might be pregnant?"
Almost like flicking a switch, Taylor started to get teary but she didn't let herself give into it. She just cleared her throat and planted her eyes on the edge of the coffee table. "Besides the throwin' up? Just a feelin'. I feel... different. And I'm two days late now. Jason and I did it once or twice without a condom, but I'm on the pill. Only, I was also on the tail end of some intense antibiotics when I got back t'Dillon to help my shoulder heal quickly. I can't blame anythin' but a total lack of thought. And I know the timin' might seem odd on account that Jason had troubles when I first got here, but I ain't slept with anyone else in about eight months." She stopped and shook her head, letting out a heavy breath. "I ain't done a test. Just kinda started wonderin' this mornin'. Been feelin' sick every mornin' for close to a week and gettin' these weird dizzy spells."
She shifted and buried her face in her hands. "This shouldn't be happenin," she mumbled. "I've gotta be back on the beat in around two months. That ain't a very long time. I can't be pregnant, I can't be!"
Sam wanted to remain positive for Mac, but she couldn't. Just talking about this was bringing back a flood of memories she'd fought hard to forget. "I was sixteen... I didn't wanna be either," she said softly. "Definitely sounds like ya pregnant. And ya ain't said a word to J? He should... I mean, it's his miracle sperm. I can't--I don't really know... I mean, it's definitely kinda bad timin' with ya nearly goin' back to New York and stuff. Ain't really any arguin' with that."
It seemed an impossible feat, but Taylor curled up into a smaller ball and rested her head on her knees. "Ironically, I didn't even get a chance t'talk t'him about kids. He's oblivious, but it's alright. I ain't gonna keep him in the dark. I just need t'find a good time t'tell him. He deserves t'know and deal with it however he needs to. I ain't wantin' this t'be anythin' like that other chick. He'll have a say in absolutely everythin', no matter what. I just feel so sick, I can hardly even face it. I guess I need t'do a test. I could go to my Momma, but I can't just yet. Only just started suspectin' this morning, ya' know? I wanna be wrong. Things were so great. I can't see this doing nothin' but complicatin' things. I can't see it doing nothin' but creatin' more problems right when everythin' seemed t'be going okay. I'm scared t'tell him. I always swore I'd do nothin' t'jeopardise my career on the force and now look what's happened."
Sam pulled her mouth to the side as she watched Mac before she moved out of her chair and gently sat down on the sofa beside Mac to wrap her arm around the other girl. "It's kinda a surprise for a reason, darlin'. If ya knew ya were gonna get pregnant, then ya woulda stopped it any way possible. I don't think ya can class it as jeopardisin' ya career when ya didn't even expect it t'happen. J's always thought he was infertile. No reason t'believe otherwise, 'specially after what that bitch did. I am really sorry it's happenin', Mac. I'll help ya stay in denial for as long as possible, but sooner or later, ya gonna have t'tell J, and get a test. It's unfair on yourself and him t'try and pretend nothin' is happenin' because the questions are gonna start five months down the track when ya got a bump."
"I told him we didn't need t'use a condom. I thought we didn't. I thought I was alright." The tears started to come freely now. It was only going to be so long that she could hold them off anyway. Strangely enough, she wasn't totally freaking out about this. She wasn't horrified at the notion, nor was she upset she was pregnant with Jason's baby. In fact, that was a lot of what she had planned to talk to him about if she had managed to get her finger out... that one day when they were settled, she would like to have kids with him if he could. And it was the wholehearted truth. She had always wanted to be a mother one day and with Jason she really felt like forever was more and more likely. She had crushed on him for so damn long. She still adored him to pieces. The quadriplegia and the wheelchair were all just part of him now and it was never a burden to her. He was still the same Jason Street who had chatted happily to her in Science class and made jokes about fossils when they studied together in the library. It had always been his smile with that bright shine in his blue eyes. It had been what she had been noticing since middle school and no matter what he said about the accident changing him, what he didn't realise was that smile and his eyes had never changed. She was sickeningly and sappily in love with him. She woke up wanting to kiss all over every inch of his face and loved how he always wanted her to sit in his lap. She loved how he fed of touch, the giving and receiving of it. She loved how sweet and caring he was. She was hooked on Jason Street and now by some freak timing, she was almost absolutely positive she was pregnant by him and the notion didn't horrify her. She was scared shitless and suddenly terrified about what it would mean for her job and her relationship with Jason, but if she was pregnant, she could deal with it... right?
She still couldn't stop the tears though, and she factored some of that to not being able to shake the miserable nausea plaguing her. "A bump," she whimpered with a teary laugh. "Do they even make maternity rookie uniforms? They'll put me on a desk job. Damnit. I hate bein' stuck inside." Her shaky hands gripped the back of Sam's/Tim's t-shirt. "I-I need to get a test. Like, today. I have t'know. I can't even damn well think properly until I do. And I'm really sorry t'lay all this on ya'. I know it can't be easy but I didn't know who else I could talk to who would really understand."
Sam pressed a kiss to Mac's temple as she hugged her friend tightly. "Don't worry about it. Ya doin' what I shoulda done when it was me... Ya want me t'get the test for ya? If ya just wanna stay here and be sick or go back to J, I can stash it with our tampons. Ain't like the boys go near that drawer."
Taylor bit down on her lip and sort of shrugged, nodded and shook her head all at the same time. "Can I live in Delusion Land for a few more hours? It ain't like I can really take it with the boys in the house anyway," she said, her voice small and tired.
Sam rubbed her hand against Mac's back and tried to nod as her head rest on top of the other girl's. "Sure. Just don't live in it forever. And know that I'll be here for ya no matter what."
Taylor nodded gratefully. "Thanks, darlin'. I think my sanity depends on it," she mumbled.
Tim Riggins [texas33forever] and Jason Street [itwontstopme] referenced with permission
Word Count | 2116